Kill Switch

by Penelope Douglas

  And in the minute as things calmed and my desire and every other overwhelming emotion I’d just felt left, I couldn’t help but think one thing.

  I’d let it happen. Again.

  With all the men in the world, why did I hate myself so much that he was the only one, in the heat of the moment, I wanted?

  Pulling away from him, unwelcome cool air now filling where he’d just been, I scooted away and pulled a piece of the tulle off the inside of my skirt, trying to clean up best I could.

  Tears stung the back of my throat, feeling the heat of his cum seeping out of me. I needed a bathroom.

  I heard him move and refasten his jeans and belt and then the lid of a lighter opening and closing as he lit a cigarette.

  “You came inside me,” I told him.

  He blew out smoke, not saying anything for a moment.

  “And?” he finally answered, Damon’s voice strong and sure.

  “And the whole town knows all the beds you’ve been in,” I spat out.

  “Like yours, you mean?”

  Yeah, years ago.

  He let out a sigh and then my bra hit me in the chest as he tossed it. I grabbed it just before it fell. “My father wants his grandchildren, Winter.”

  My stomach sank, anger and shame burning my face. Oh, God, if I got pregnant…

  I quickly went through the calendar in my head, remembering I’d just had my period last week. It should be okay.

  As much as I wanted to be mad at him, though, I could’ve stopped him. I just didn’t think about it.

  I stood up and slipped my bra back on, but unable to fasten it. “I will never have your children,” I told him.

  It was Damon. It was my sister’s husband. And I’d rather die than raise a family under his thumb. He’d be a terrible father.

  But I felt him approach and stop just in front of me, his deep voice quiet but steady. “You’re going to have lots of my children,” he informed me.

  And then he brushed past me, leaving the room, and I stood there, unable to move as his words lingered in the air.

  I hated him. I hated who I turned into with him.

  How could I have just done that? Why did I do it? He didn’t force me. I could’ve run. I didn’t even think to say no. I didn’t want to say no. It was like we were animals, for Christ’s sake.

  Red.

  Anger, fury, heat, and need so strong you’re a fucking animal, Winter. It’s primal.

  So that was red. I’d wanted to do it. I loved the flames. I had dived in.

  But now, the pain of the burns.

  I hated him.

  “Hey,” I heard Alex as she closed the door. “We just saw Damon. He said you were in here.” And then she touched my arm, and I could hear the ice jingle in her drink. “Baby, I’m so sorry we lost you. Are you okay? Shit.”

  Judging from her reaction, I must look a sight. My makeup was probably everywhere.

  “It’s okay,” I mumbled. I couldn’t explain it right now.

  “Are you okay?” she prodded again, probably just wanting to know if I was hurt.

  I just turned around. “Would you please refasten me?”

  She let out a sigh, seeing clearly that my bra had been off. “Did he hurt you?”

  She tugged at me as she pulled the belt of the clasp tight again, and I no longer had the energy to muster any tears.

  “Not as much as I hurt myself,” I told her.

  Damon

  Present

  I brought the lighter to the tip of my cigarette, lighting the end and sucking in a puff of smoke. The taste and burn hit my tongue, filling my lungs, and I blew it back out, already relaxing.

  People walked about as I stood around the side of one of the concession stands, keeping an eye across the way on the restroom door for Winter and Alex to come out, just to make sure they were still together.

  I didn’t give a shit if Winter was happy right now, but this place was sketchy as fuck. Perfect for me, really, but she didn’t have a sign on her saying she was blind, and if one of these actors picked her up and carried her off, like I just did, she might be in trouble.

  Will was doing a piss poor job watching out for her. Grabbing her was way too easy.

  I took another drag, noticing a couple of girls in line watching me. I caught the eyes of one of them, and she smiled, giving me a little wave.

  I blew out the smoke, flicking the ash off the cigarette, but it was ash that dried my mouth. Everyone in this town knew my history and women could either be really distant—which suited me just fine—or they were really into it, like I was some dangerous animal, and it totally turned them on. While some were of the opinion that I took advantage of Winter, and judged the gossip they heard about my weird sexual appetite for watching others, no one saw that video and thought I forced her.

  I was either the victim of a technicality or a deviant who messed with a girl they didn’t know was far from a one-night stand.

  Winter’s age wasn’t the problem to me. I didn’t even see it.

  The crime was, I couldn’t tell her who I was.

  And the crime was, she didn’t love me back.

  Her heart was so shallow she couldn’t understand and know that I was real. Every moment with her, I was real. I would’ve been faithful, and I would’ve died protecting her.

  As soon as she knew, though, she cut me out. It was over. That quickly, she hated me, her fickle heart abandoning me and completely forgetting it all.

  I was going to take great pleasure in making sure she never stopped hating me.

  And at twenty-one, there was no question she was old enough for what I just did to her. I’d wanted to fuck her like that since I moved into the house, and she had come downstairs in her skimpy little shorts and tank top that night looking for her dog. She didn’t deserve better.

  I tightened my fist, crushing the cigarette and closing my eyes through the burn being snuffed out on the inside of my palm.

  And a smile curled my lips, thinking about what I should do next. Maybe Will or Alex—or both—would like to join me for the next round.

  Winter seemed to like them, after all.

  Opening my eyes, I saw her and Alex step out of the restroom, Winter’s clothes and hair back in order, but her face tight, containing some anger I was totally responsible for. Alex smiled and waved, and I saw Rika approach and grab Alex in an excited hug.

  What?

  And then I noticed someone coming toward me out of the corner of my eye and turned my head to see Michael, Kai, and Will head straight for me.

  “Oh, fucking great,” I grumbled, throwing the cigarette away.

  Michael came up right into my face, all of them dressed casually in jeans and T-shirts. “I want to talk to you in private,” he said.

  I straightened my spine, meeting him eye to eye. “Private?” I teased. “Like steam-room private? I’m game.”

  He folded his arms over his chest, his hazel eyes, piercing me. “Speaking of which, pay any visits to Hunter-Bailey recently?”

  I laughed under my breath. “Ask Erika,” I taunted him. “Or is she keeping things from you?”

  His face was frozen, but I knew the storm that raged under his skin. I wasn’t saying shit. I loved that his girl kept me a secret from him.

  “I trust her,” he said. “I don’t trust you. What are you hanging over her head?”

  Me? Oh, so that was it. The only way she’d give me the time of day was if I were blackmailing her?

  “Believe it or not,” I told him, “she’s the one who has my neck in a noose. Quite the little dominant, your monster is. I’m kind of digging it. If you want to share.” And then I shot my eyes to Kai. “With everyone, I mean.”

  “Jesus,” Kai muttered.

  Yeah, I was definitely pissed when I heard about the three of them. It was just another time the two of them made all the decisions and had all the fun. Will and I simply tagged along when we were permitted.

  Alex and Banks made their way over,
Will taking the beer Alex brought him.

  “Where’s Winter?” he asked.

  “With Rika,” she said.

  Michael and I didn’t blink.

  “You’re not the only one who knows how to deal with garbage,” Michael said in a low voice as everyone stood silently by. “I didn’t erase my brother to keep her safe, so you could come along and fuck with us, too. I went that far, and I’ll do what I have to do again.”

  Maybe.

  He killed one person, making that self-defense. Make it a habit, and that becomes risk. He had lots to lose now.

  “Who is that?” I heard Will ask.

  But Michael, Kai, and I were locked, barely hearing him.

  “No one will miss you,” Michael whispered, threatening me.

  And I almost laughed. Bet his dick grew another fourth of an inch off that big boy threat.

  “Michael,” Will said.

  But Michael still stared at me, simply pumping his chest. Rika would never tolerate me doing anything to hurt her. He knew that. If she and I had a meeting, it was because she wanted to be there, and he was jealous.

  Fuck him.

  “Who the fuck is that?” Will barked. “Michael!”

  “What?” Michael jerked his head to Will.

  “Seriously?” Will blurted out. “You’re not watching this?”

  Dragging my eyes away from Michael and Kai, we all turned our gazes on Will, following his line of sight to Rika, Winter, and some guy in black pants, a dark gray pullover, and leather shoes with his dark hair slicked back. Maybe five or six years older than us.

  “That guy,” Will pointed out, looking at us as we looked at them. “He had a mask on before. He walked up and put his hands on Rika like he was one of the actors. He grabbed her, picked her up, had his hands way too close to certain things…”

  Will turned back to her as he spoke, and I narrowed my eyes, taking note that Winter was standing back as Rika and the guy talked. He looked familiar. Where have I seen him before?

  “She got away from him when she realized it wasn’t you,” Will continued, “but now he has the mask off, and he’s talking to her like they know each other. I don’t think she knows it was the same guy that fondled her before.”

  I looked away, shaking my head.

  They all just stood there. Michael, Kai, Will…

  “It’s one of her professors,” Alex offered. “She’s part of his research team at the college.”

  “He was not touching her very professionally when he was in disguise,” Will replied sarcastically, taking a swig of his beer.

  Looking back over to make sure he wasn’t talking to Winter, I watched as he leaned in to Rika, tilting his head and touching her arm as they spoke. There were things guys did that told you they were flirting.

  She turned to Winter for a moment, and once her back was turned, his eyes dropped, giving Rika a long once-over and licking his lips.

  Yep.

  Girls didn’t always notice, because it was subtle, and we didn’t always realize we were doing it, but he was interested. And he’d copped a feel while her fiancé was standing right here, too.

  Was Michael doing anything? Of course not.

  And that was the same guy I saw dancing with her at her engagement party, too. I finally recognized him, because he rubbed me the wrong way then, as well.

  “He’s flirting with her,” Will told Michael the same thing I already knew.

  “Does he know she’s engaged?” Banks asked.

  “He was at dinner at our fucking house,” Michael growled under his breath as he glared at the professor.

  “Aw, don’t worry,” I said. “Rika can handle her own shit, right?”

  I dug out a cigarette, lighting it, a puff of smoke filtering into the air above our heads.

  “It’s kind of got me wondering, though,” I went on. “She’s got her own money, and she can take care of herself, because you don’t coddle her, so…why does she need you exactly?”

  I narrowed my eyes on Michael, amused. He always made Rika solve her own problems, because he didn’t see her as a possession but rather an extension of himself.

  He didn’t want a puppy. He wanted a partner.

  But there comes a point when you have to defend your house and take charge. And not just in the bedroom.

  Which was all she needed him for.

  I grinned. “I guess she does need to be serviced from time to time, doesn’t she?”

  He bared his teeth, grabbing the collar of my sweatshirt, but my feet didn’t budge from the ground.

  “Oh, please, go ahead,” I dared him, holding his eyes. “It is long past due between you and me.”

  He stared into my eyes, probably taking in all the people around us, the security, the cameras, and while I didn’t give a shit, he had a charmed life at risk now. A sports star, soon-to-be wife, business deals in the works…

  Do it.

  I actually didn’t want either him or me getting arrested for a fight tonight, but I wanted to see some kind of life from him. Some remnant of the guy who was once my friend. Someone I remember very well, wanting to go to that edge and lead us all over it.

  This is what happened when you fell in love. You lost your nerve, because you didn’t want to lose what had become more important.

  But instead of wimping out, he just smiled.

  “You know what?” he said, releasing me. “You’re right. My imagination is nothing compared to yours. Tell me, how would you handle him?”

  How would I handle him? Need me to do your dirty work for you, or was this an invitation to play?

  “Come on,” Kai egged me on, smirking. “Show us what we’re missing from the good old days. You’re so fucking arrogant. You educate us.”

  My heart started pumping a little harder, and I stood there, pondering the challenge. Would they do what I suggested?

  I wasn’t even going to leave it up to them. They’d pussy out.

  I locked eyes with my sister. “How fast can the butcher be here?”

  She stared at me only a moment before realization dawned, and a smile spread across her face. She glanced at Kai who looked at his wife curiously and then back to me, digging out her cell. “For us?” she asked, looking excited. “Minutes.”

  And then she put the phone to her ear and walked away to make the call.

  I glanced at Alex. “See if they have a first aid kit with smelling salts?”

  She nodded, looking hesitant, but walked toward the service tent.

  And then I taunted Kai. “Still able to knock someone out with a single kick?”

  “Want a demonstration?” he shot back.

  I laughed, putting the rest of the pieces together in my head.

  “What are you going to do?” Michael asked, pulling back and suddenly interested.

  “Me? Oh, this will take all of us,” I told him. “You want it or not?”

  He rolled his eyes but stood there, Will on his left, Kai on his right, and his pride telling him not to engage with me.

  But then he looked over at Rika, and I didn’t know about him, but I knew if her teacher was pulling shit like this in front of her fiancé, what was he thinking of trying one of these days when Michael wasn’t around during one of their research meetings or an after-class discussion?

  Of course, Rika could take care of herself, but he was disrespecting Michael, too. Michael needed to check that shit.

  He met my eyes. “Fine. What are we doing?”

  I quirked a smile and filled everyone in on their part, sending Banks to meet the butcher in the parking lot and Will to grab another prop from inside one of the haunted houses.

  When Alex came back with the salts, I told her what she had to do, unfortunately the bulk of the work falling on her for this whole thing. She was the only chick here not spoken for, so that came in handy when she needed to lure him.

  Banks arrived with a backpack, and she, Michael, and I made our way to the tree line behind the barn, shielding ou
rselves behind the trunks, while Kai and Will hid around the corner of the barn, waiting.

  I stuffed my mask, still hooked onto my wrist, in the backpack, and not two minutes later, spotted Alex rounding the corner with the professor. She looked perfect. Short white dress, top hat, makeup. He didn’t look as enamored as he did with Rika, but he was willing to indulge a little walk around the park with another beautiful student.

  Kai looked over at me, twenty yards away, and I jerked my chin, alerting him it was time. He stepped back, giving himself room, got in his stance, and as soon as Alex came around the corner, Kai shot out, swung his leg around, and knocked the dude right in his temple. He didn’t even have time to turn and see who was there.

  His head jerked back, his knees gave out, and he fell forward, face planting on the dirt ground.

  “Oh, shit!” Will shook with laughter. “He went down like a dead deer.”

  A snort sounded from either Michael or Banks, and Kai looked down at his victim, surveying his handiwork with pride.

  “You didn’t kill him, did you?” Banks whisper-yelled, looking worried as she crept over.

  Michael and I followed.

  She crouched down next to the guy, feeling for the pulse on his neck.

  After a pause, she pulled away, sighing with relief. “Okay, good.”

  “Baby, please.” Kai looked insulted.

  “Grab his feet,” I told Will as I flipped him over and took his hands. “Let’s go.”

  We carried him back beyond the tree line, Alex, Michael, and Kai following, while Banks bent over, picking up the heavy backpack off the ground as we passed.

  I cocked an eyebrow at Michael. “You gonna make my sister carry that?”

  Or do we do all the work and you just watch?

  He yanked the bag out of her hand, she made a face at him, and we all scurried deeper into the woods and out of sight.

  Plopping the dead weight down, I grabbed Alex, pulled her over, and ripped open the bodice of her dress, exposing her skin from chest to abdomen, her breasts still covered, though.

  She gasped, snarling at me. “Asshole!”