Walk of Shame

by Gregory, O. L.

  The cameraman tailing me started talking into his headset about how the princess was going rogue again.

  I smiled to myself and led the way out the front door and down the driveway.

  "What's up?" Drake asked.

  "Nothing in particular. I just figured you two might not want to hang around as the guys plot their day," I answered.

  "Where are we headed?" Ardent asked.

  "My fifth wheel." In the silence following behind me, I figured the two men had shared a look with one another. "There's something I want to grab for a little adjustment I want to make in the cottage. Besides, I was told there had been packages delivered here for me. They didn't know what they were, so they stashed them in my rig. Production didn't want personal packages cluttering up the house if they weren't necessary."

  We'd reached the parking lot where everyone's RVs were stored. I stopped in my tracks. "Who's hog?"

  "Trevor's," Ardent answered.

  "Ah, that makes sense. I just didn't know if anyone else had hauled a motorcycle here and had gotten it down to ride during our off hours."

  "One of the other guys has a motorcycle here, I've seen it around," Drake said.

  I made a mental note and approached my fifth wheel. I got out the key to unlock the door, but the door was already unlocked. That threw me for a second, but I went ahead on in. I spotted the second cameraman before I even stepped foot all the way in. I was a week into this, and while I'd begun to learn to tune out the actions and sounds of the crew, I still wasn't used to them trying to do everything they could to stay one step ahead of me.

  The guys followed me in while I made my way to my small craft supply stash I kept and fetched my jar of rubber cement.

  Drake took a seat in one of the recliners in front of the rear window.

  Ardent was taking a closer look around. "You've got a fair amount of bells and whistles loaded into this, don't you?"

  "Yeah, I do. I wanted my home to feel like a home."

  "You've got a washer/dryer set up in here, too, right?" he asked.

  I reached over and opened a cabinet to show him. "All the comforts of home."

  "Well," he said as he dropped down onto the couch, "this is certainly an upgrade from the travel trailer I tow out to dig sites."

  "Yeah," I responded, "but you also have an apartment to go home to in between your fieldwork stints, I don't have that."

  I grabbed a small knife from a kitchen drawer and cut the tape on the boxes that production had set on my kitchen island.

  "Business or pleasure?" Drake asked.

  "Business," I answered, pulling open the flaps. "These are the proof copies for my next book release," I said as I pulled the paperbacks out of the box. "And these," I said as I stared at the contents filling the second and third boxes to the brim, "are press kits I agreed to put together and send to one of the others on the team."

  "Team?" Drake asked.

  "Yeah, I'm be missing a big RV convention that one of the travel magazines I work for decided to join this year. So I offered to handle some of the grunt work for them, to try and balance out my not being there to man the booth."

  Drake got up, moved to pull out a backless barstool from underneath the front half of the island, and sat down. "Put one together and show me how it's done."

  "You're going to help me put the kits together?"

  "Sure, I have nothing else better to do today," he said.

  Ardent pulled out the other remaining barstool. "You might as well show me, too."

  We spent the next hour compiling sheets of informational handouts and coupon flyers, folding pamphlets from the magazine and its sponsors, placing them inside folders, putting the logo sticker on the front of the folders, and repacking them into the boxes. It was nearly eleven, and I had to get back up to the main house.

  They told me to go, that they would finish up and use the included shipping labels to send them back out through production. I figured leaving two of them behind would do well enough to keep them from snooping through my stuff too much. They could watch each other, and if they started conspiring, the cameraman would kick them out before things went too far, I would hope.

  The crew was still loading their equipment into the luggage areas under the charter bus when I came running around the front of it, thinking to see if production had brought down my bag. If not, I'd have to run back up to the cottage and grab it before coming back here and greeting the guys.

  I rounded the front, right quarter panel and ran flush up against a Highland wall.

  Liam's arms clasped around me. "A mite bit eager to get started, are we?" He then lifted me up and carried me to the bus door, placing me on the first step up.

  Oh, my God. I totally had an awestruck, giggly girl moment.

  He winked at me and lowered his voice, "You can crash into me anytime."

  Some amused/embarrassed noise came from me as I spun around and rolled my eyes at myself before climbing the next two steps. I gathered my wits enough to remember to look for my bag, which I found sitting in the front seat. Troy was sitting in the seat next to it, waiting for me, grinning like a simpleton at my moment of fascination with the mountain man.

  I blocked out the guys boarding the bus behind me as I gave Troy my full attention and slid into the space to stand in front of the seat with my bag before dropping the jar of rubber cement I'd brought back with me into it. I wasn't trying to ignore the eight reasons I was here, I was trying to regain my composure by going into business-mode. "I didn't think you were coming along today."

  "I'm not," Troy said. "I was just waiting to speak to you for a moment, on behalf of production. I knew I'd have time while they figured how to get everything loaded. There're too many decks and angles they need to cover on the boat today."

  "Uh-oh. Have I been a bad girl?" I asked before batting my eyelashes at him.

  A hand landed on the small of my back and I turned to see that Jared was paused by my seat. "I think we're all finding out that you can be a bad girl."

  "And let's not forget dirty," Mitch called out from a few rows back.

  The guys laughed as I looked around and gave them all a rueful smile. I flipped my hair back over my shoulder, moved my bag to the floor, then sat and turned towards Troy, hoping to have more of a private conversation. I dropped my voice to a whisper, "What did I do now?"

  He smiled. "If you want to be the one who keeps throwing the guys curve balls and stealing additional time, so be it. Keep these guys on their toes all you want. But it leaves production scrambling. They were pulling people out of bed the other night when you decided to go on the rooftop. And we weren't prepared to keep a camera on you earlier when you grabbed two guys and took them off to visit your home."

  "You said as long as I followed some basic boundaries and procedures, I could handle this however I wanted."

  "And you can, that's not my point. If you want to throw a pamphlet folding party, go right ahead. We can't use much of any of the footage anyway, because it'll speak directly to one of your jobs. And we can't cross into the line of promoting the company, past having you on the show and speaking in vague terms about it. But you were trying to give those two guys a glimpse into what life with you would be like. And I encourage you to let them see who you are, but give production a head's up."

  "It was an impulse moment. There was no planning ahead in my mind. The thought occurred and I extended the invitation."

  "Understood. Pull a crewmember aside, tell them what invitation you're about to extend, then ask the guys to follow along. At least then, as they're calling in additional personnel, they'll know what direction to send them in."

  I nodded. "I can promise to try and keep that in mind."

  "In the meantime, if you can manage to think ahead a bit, tell them your ideas. Use them to set it up for you, like the waterslide party. If you had thought ahead about the stolen time with Jared, we could have lit up some candles, had some drinks on ice waiting, set the mood a bit."


  "Yeah, but then it wouldn't have been stolen. There was something to standing in the shadows, then sitting in the dark and watching the stars. It was simple, and felt more real."

  "I get it. Just try and meet them halfway, okay?"

  "I'll give it a shot."

  "All right. Production will sit up front here and keep a camera aimed at you guys. So pick a seat halfway back or so. Now let me out."

  I stood, grabbed my bag, and moved into the aisle to resettle somewhere else.

  "Hey, Em!" Mike called out as I found an empty seat in front of the guys.

  "Hey, what?" I answered back as the bus finally pulled away from the curb because production had finally managed to make all of their equipment fit.

  "Do you always live in your bikini? Because every time I see you, it seems like you're just waiting to take off your clothes and go swimming."

  Laughter filtered around me from both the front and back of the bus.

  I smiled back at the guys. "I'm not usually around the ocean and this much gorgeous weather at the same time. I'm trying to take advantage."

  "Where do you usually park yourself?" Phillip asked.

  "I prefer to be along lakes, on islands, or near mountains."

  The faces looking back at me either smiled or frowned in accordance with their own preferences and lives.

  I turned around, sat down, but then turned sideways with my back against the window and my legs resting across the empty seat next to me. I checked for emails and such while the guys around me talked with each other.

  After a few minutes, I began sending out emails to Troy. Each one tagged with a subject line of one of the many ideas that had crossed my mind in the last week. If they wanted to be prepared for me, so be it. I wanted a bonfire down on that stretch of beach below the main property. And seriously, there was a movie that had debuted in the theaters last Friday night that I wanted to go see before I missed it because I was tied up doing this. Those were the two items that would require me leaving the property. I tossed a couple other ideas out there to him to pass along, as well.

  "Are you writing one of your novels sitting there, or what? You just keep typing away," Stephen asked.

  "Oh, I'm just plotting some things, that's all," I replied.

  Jared chuckled. "Plotting your novel, or plotting against us?"

  I moved a foot under me so I could sit up higher and see them over the back of my seat. "Maybe I'm plotting against production," I said with a wink at them.

  We reached the harbor and the driver took us as close to the docks as he could get us. The crew all piled out and began unloading and hauling their gear to the boat on carts. We sat back in our seats and watched them.

  "You'd think they'd have sent the crew and equipment over early," Tyler remarked.

  "The boat crew doesn't come into work any earlier," I told them. I stood up, "So what are your plans for me?"

  "We figure to get on, let them go through whatever explanations and procedural drills they have to do, and when they dismiss us to enjoy the ride, we'll do the marathon mini-date thing," Trevor said.

  "We figure to each take thirty-five, forty minutes. That should give us all about two hours for dinner at the end of the day," Liam added.

  Production called us off the bus ten minutes later, to go board the boat. We went through the safety drill and the planned time frame for the day. Production briefed us on their plans and gave us a few dos and don'ts for the day, and asked the guys to give them a quick plan for what order they thought to go in and what they'd be doing with me. Space was limited and they wanted to make sure they had each planned area cleared before we got to it, so equipment and production members wouldn't end up caught in a shot.

  We all stood to disperse and Stephen extended his hand out to me.

  "Don't you have to go through plan-approval with the show gods?" I asked with a gesture towards the guys gathering around one of the crewmembers holding a clipboard.

  "Trevor will let them know," and he came towards me to take my hand.

  "Where are we going?"

  "Well, there were some ideas tossed around. We wanted to take you below decks where we could each have some privacy with you, at least from each other. But then we each figured out that we'd be leaving you alone with seven other guys and decided that was too high a price to pay."

  I laughed. No, I guess they wouldn't want their date disappearing behind closed doors and then have to watch as seven guys paraded in and out after you, whether camera guys were remaining with her, or not.

  He guided me over to the stairs and we started climbing. "We figured that if there were two decks, we'd scope out a spot on the top deck to take you to. Anybody not enjoying time with you at that point is to stay on the main deck and leave you and your current date alone."

  "I think I like this plan better. Holing me up in a cabin below would make me miss out on all the sights I came out here to see. Question, though."

  "Shoot," he said as one of the production guys pointed him in the direction of the back of the yacht.

  "Do I get to swim or jet-ski or anything other than being confined to the top deck until dinner?"

  "Oh, yeah. A couple of the guys wanted that. In that case, the others let you and the guy go and hang out off the bough of the ship and the rest stay to the back."

  "And all of you guys are going to follow your self-inflicted boundaries of the day?"

  "Anyone who breaks the rules has to clean the bedroom level of the house."

  There was a large lounging area in the back of the boat. With a large padded area big enough to be a bed, large pillows around the edges to serve as a seating area, with built-in end table looking areas with cup holders that lined either side. And so we could enjoy the breeze without the sun blinding us, a canopy stretched over the entire area.

  "This is nice," I said. "So, the downstairs of the house is always neat and clean?"

  "Housekeeping comes in when we all go to bed or are out."

  "And they only clean the downstairs."

  "You got it."

  We leaned back on the pillows and got settled. When I looked back up at him, he turned that intense gaze on and swept his eyes up and down before falling on my own gaze. "How do you always look so good?" he asked as he leaned closer to me.

  "Professional hair and makeup artists every morning. How is it that you always smell so good?" I asked as I leaned in to meet him.

  "Keep dating me and maybe I'll tell you. For now it's just part of my charm," and he closed the space and kissed me.

  We spent the rest of our time comparing childhoods and familial attitudes about our way of life. I'd decided that was going to be my theme of discussions today. It was time to get past the pleasantries with all of them and start getting to know these guys on a deeper level.

  Trevor climbed the stairs next and Stephen made his exit. They nodded to each other as they walked past one another, but no warm greetings that Stephen tended to share with the rest of them.

  "You're an enigma," I said as Trevor approached and got comfortable.

  "How's that?"

  "You come over to my cottage three days in a row, then nothing. You're not part of the friendly vibe most of the guys in the house have going on, but today you seem to be the unspoken leader with getting today organized. What's up with that?"

  "They noticed that I was disappearing, so I backed off before they figured out where I was going. It's hard to get buddy-buddy with them when they know we knew each other before the show. It singles me out as the one with the advantage. And I've seen production organize these kinds of events for a couple years now. I knew how to get it laid out in a way production would approve."

  "You're trying to find your spot in the mix."

  He shrugged. "It's all right. I knew coming in like this would be more difficult. And I can't cook like Phillip. So I'll just continue to try and help out when I can and see how it goes."

  "Hmm." I let my eyes fall to a button that I'd spotted a li
ttle while ago. "I wonder what would happen if I pushed that."

  He smiled. "Go ahead and push it. What's the worst that could happen?"

  "Uhhh, the boat could blow up," I answered with such innocent exaggeration that he laughed.

  "I don't think they have a blow up button."

  "But they could," I said, warming up to the banter game.

  "If they did, they wouldn't put it out here for the guests to push."

  "Where would they put it?"

  "In the wheelhouse, of course."

  "But why would the captain have a button to sink his own ship?"

  "Not the whole ship. It's rigged to just blow up the annoying guests."

  "Ah, they wouldn't put a blow up button out here then."

  "Right."

  "But what if there was a disgruntled guest? And he snuck onto the ship after hours and rigged a blow up button for the staff, and put it here for the next guests to push. That way, he could get his revenge and maybe not be found responsible for it, if someone else pressed it."

  "The sneaky bastard. And a very efficient worker to get it all installed and cleaned up in just a few hours."

  "He must have been determined."

  Trevor nodded and we fell silent for a moment, taking in the passing scenery.

  I was having a hard time with the whole Trevor thing. When I'd first met him, I filed him in my mind as a stranger that I'd have to temporarily trust, and categorized him in the business-acquaintance department of my mind. But then he put me at such ease in the few days we'd been thrown together, my mind had shifted him into the temporary-friend bin.

  The problem is, when I saw him come out of that limo on night one, I saw a friend coming in to support me. I, subconsciously, slid him into my friends file. Meanwhile, he'd had me slid into his romantic-interest file for weeks.

  Each night, I lie in bed and go over the guys in my head. I think about who said what, who did which thing, what impressed me, what didn't, that kind of thing. And try as I might, I couldn't seem to be able to lift Trevor out of the friend-zone and get my mind to think of him in a different direction. I'd thought about giving him a one-on-one date this week, to try to give us a true chance to break through that ice. But I'd opted to explore my lukewarm feelings for Drake and Ardent instead.