Walk of Shame

by Gregory, O. L.

  "Well, rest assured, if I didn't want you around, and want to be around you, I wouldn't keep coming out here to run with you. I'd be hiding in my home gym and would have sent you home on the last Walk of Shame."

  "Yep. I see it, now. You're not who I feared you were."

  "Good," I said with a nod and started running again. "I think we just worked through our first real issue."

  A shower, some time spent with one of the MAs, a quick conversation with Troy later, and I was up at the main house to let them in on the day's plans.

  "Fried egg sandwiches. This house never disappoints," I declared.

  They already had a plate waiting for me, and a glass of juice poured. I had to wonder if they set a spot every morning now, just to see if I'd sense it and show up.

  "So," Jared said, "tortuous Mudrun or relaxing yacht trip today?"

  I sat down with a breezy sigh. "Nothing for you today, I'm afraid."

  He smiled brightly, having recognized the pattern of group dates before solos. "Nice! Frisbee throwing for the dog it is. See ya, suckers." He grabbed a slice of bacon, winked at me, and went out through the patio doors.

  "Who else is exempt today?" Trevor asked.

  "Phillip," I answered between bites.

  Smugness laced Phillip's smile. He put down the cup towel he was holding, poured himself a cup of coffee, and went out the patio doors, whistling.

  They'd watched him leave as I continued to eat breakfast. Then, once he'd left, they turned to watch me.

  It amazed me the difference in their reactions to knowing who had the one-on-one dates this week. The two I'd chosen had smiled like they had one up on the rest of them. And the guys had reacted as though they believed it, too. It was like they'd sensed I was done with the throwaways and the competition was on. Trevor, in particular, looked none too happy to still be lumped in with the large group.

  "Ardent, Mike, Stephen, Liam, Drake, and Trevor," I said for the sake of the camera filming us for our would-be audience, "we're going to Franklin Canyon Park. They have trails for hiking, biking, and horseback riding. They welcome birdwatchers and photographers. And, they have a walking garden tour that includes tea on the barn patio. Everybody pick your poison and I'll find some caffeine to start chugging so I can keep up."

  Drake smiled and moved to place a soda in front of me.

  It was a real shame that I didn't feel anything romantic toward him. He had been able to read me well enough to know that while my tone might have been teasing, I was perfectly serious about the caffeine.

  I checked my watch. "Fifteen minutes."

  Stephen brought his professional camera with him. He got the group's guide to point out the best trail for bird watching and wasted no time in leading me off.

  "You know," I whispered so that I wouldn't chase off any birds, "you guys aren't always going to be able to divvy up the group dates like this."

  "No. But if we can, we will. We figure you come over often enough, everyone can see how we all interact with each other then."

  "Oh, man, and they say I'm a rule-breaker."

  "There's a reason why their little computer system paired us up with you. I think we're all rule-breakers."

  We quietly moved along the trail and he proceeded to teach me some things about angles and sunlight. Then he started pressing all the little doo-dads on the camera to get a far more superior shot than I could have ever achieved.

  "I just snap a bunch of pictures with my cell phone and hope they can find one to use with my articles. Sometimes I get fancy and chose a different mode for a couple of them."

  He smiled at me with twinkling eyes and I was drawn to him. He was in his element behind his camera. He had a genuine interest in what he was showing me, and I was happy to see into his world. Some of those birds looked downright ugly to me, but he had the ability to use the camera to bring out their beauty.

  Drake took me down a different path. He had a tablet and a commercial-grade microphone. We'd stop every time we heard an animal call or wind rustling though the trees and he'd record it.

  "I'll mix the sounds in with some instrumentals back in my studio in the RV, and make a track or two."

  "That's awesome."

  "It's an idea I've been working on. They'll be rough, but I can work something up in the next few days."

  "I'd love to hear it."

  I admired the way he found artistic appreciation in everything he saw or heard. He had a way of picking up on nuances that were beyond me. And this time, we were more relaxed with each other. I so enjoyed the way he seemed to see the world that I wanted to feel something romantic for him. I was trying to feel something for him, waiting for it all to come together.

  But then he pulled me close for another kiss. And it was like sitting down for your favorite meal, mouth watering, and once you tasted it you realized the cook forgot the secret ingredient. And now you're sitting there, disappointed with the whole thing. There was no magic. And no amount of my wanting it to be there was going to manifest it.

  Trevor had me on yet another hiking trail. We went on a texture hunt. We took close up pictures of leaves, bark, piles of twigs, patches of dirt, rocks in the canyon, anything he could use as potential backgrounds with his graphic design work.

  "You already showed me into your work life," I said.

  "Yeah, but I was trying to come up with something to do other than just walk. I'm trying to keep it interesting." He handed me the camera. "Here, you find a texture."

  I took it and photographed a close up of his back pocket, the texture of his shirt over his chest, and then I lined myself up to take a close up of his fly before he grabbed the camera out of my hands and started to chase me down the trail.

  Ardent chose biking, and led us in the direction of the trail he'd picked.

  "I seriously should have skipped my workout this morning," I remarked.

  "You don't want to bike?"

  "No, that's not what I meant. And, please, I've been walked out. I'll take the biking, gladly. All I meant is that these group dates are exhausting."

  "We can pick a spot to sit."

  I laughed. "I just made a comment in passing. I don't want you to try to fix it. There's nothing wrong."

  "Okay. Sorry."

  - And this was exactly the kind of thing that made Ardent and I fall flat. -

  "What made you pick biking?" I asked.

  "After being cooped up on the property, I just wanted to get out and move around. I figured we could cover more ground with biking, why?"

  I shrugged as I changed gears to accommodate the hill we were starting to climb. "I just wondered. Everyone else picked up on the theme of last week's one-on-ones and tried to show me a bit about what they do for a living. I was just curious as to your plan of attack."

  "My plan of attack was just to get out and enjoy. You know, throw in some leisure."

  "Awesome. I can easily go for that."

  The chitchat remained light between us as we traveled over the trail. Unfortunately, there was absolutely no spark. He was likeable, and I liked him. But I had no desire for him to back me up against a tree and kiss me. In fact, I was content with the idea that, of the eight left, he was the only one who hadn't kissed me in any way, shape, or form.

  Mike had horses waiting for us when I got to him. "I figured you'd be ready for some semblance of sitting by now."

  "Oh, my God, yes, thank you!"

  He laughed and handed me the reigns to a beautiful, golden-colored mare. "It's nice to know that little things score such big points with you."

  I mounted the horse and watched him reach down and make sure his prosthetic was secure in the stirrup before he straightened. "How do I score points with you?" I asked.

  He shook his head. "I'm impressed just by watching you handle and juggle all the stress you must be under. You're tired, I'm sure. But I've not once seen you lose your patience."

  "Because I'm surrounded by people who feed me, dress me, brush my hair, and do my makeup
. They've taken away all the everyday annoyances. And that just leaves dating all of you. And at this stage, my head is kept spinning with trying to get to know all of you, that I don't have time to lose my patience. Anything that may irritate me gets pushed to the wayside by the next guy and scenario that is thrown at me."

  He handled his horse with the same calm confidence with which he handled everything else I'd seen him do, at least when he wasn't worried about my reaction, anyway. It seemed as though our conversation that morning had finally put him at ease. Now I hoped, with that out of the way, we could continue to build the friendship we had going and work on steaming up the romance side of things past a kiss on the forehead. We had the sweet, now we needed the spice.

  As we continued down the trail, I saw him truly have fun. And as he allowed himself to have fun, it rubbed off on me and I found myself smiling as we trotted along. Gone was the Mike that kept trying to compare himself to the other guys or how I treated them in comparison. It was a joy to see Mike be Mike. We goaded the horses into a canter and enjoyed the sights.

  "Thank you," I told him near the end.

  "For what?"

  "This was the first time today that I was able to relax and just let loose."

  "You mean I made you forget about all the cameras and other guys?" he asked with a smile.

  I thought about it for a beat, "Yeah, you really did."

  He nodded to himself. "Good."

  Yeah, I thought, really good.

  Last on my list for the afternoon was Liam. He'd fallen into the trap of being European. So, of course, he was elected to sit down to tea with me on the barn patio and then take the walking tour of the gardens with me.

  "Sorry you got stuck with the girly portion of the date," I said.

  "No matter," Liam said. "At least there's some historical and architectural history on the tour to butch it up a bit."

  I smiled. "You're butch enough all on your own."

  He reached to the vase in the center of the table and removed one of the flowers, threading the stem into the hair above his ear. "How about now?" he asked with a serious face.

  I laughed and shook my head. "I think you've lost your manly edge."

  "If my nieces were here, they'd have me wear a crown of flowers."

  "How old are they?"

  "Four, three, and six months."

  I smiled. "And they know how to make flower crowns?"

  "No, their idiot uncle makes them for the little hellions, and they take them off and put them on my head."

  "And are you that idiot uncle?"

  "Maybe," he answered with a grin.

  "Any nephews?"

  "Not yet, but I have a sister working on it."

  The conversation continued with teasing banter that I could sit back with and enjoy. It was light, fun, and he was letting me in. He was still a mountain of a man, but a charming one. Hell, with that flower in his red hair, he was an adorable one. The more I spent time with him, the more he just sort of slid his way into my line of sight and caught my attention. If I wasn't careful, he could so easily overtake the majority of my attention.

  "So he's getting assigned white," Chloe said.

  "He doesn't deserve white," I countered as I flopped backwards across my bed.

  Goldie's eyes opened when I jarred her, but otherwise she didn't move from her curled up position on the pillows at the head of the bed.

  "What if you put him on a plane and send him to me?"

  I rolled my eyes. "One decent phone conversation with the guy and you want me to fly him across the country for you."

  "Hey, he's been screened by the network far better than anything I could come up with. He's perfectly dateable, even if you don't want him. Gimme."

  "I'll give him your number the second I reject him."

  "Thank you."

  "What if he's not the one I send home?"

  "You're messing with me now, right?"

  "It's only Tuesday. The Walk of Shame isn't until Sunday night. Anything could happen between now and then."

  "I thought you weren't going to keep guys around just for the sake of keeping them around?"

  "Yeah. But if I'm not careful, I'm going to ditch guys so fast that it forces me to pick one before I'm sure of which one it should be."

  "Okay. So, unless the Earth shifts on its axis, Ardent is not the one for you. How are you feeling about Drake now, after today?"

  I let out a noise that started as a groan, but quickly turned into a whine. "I want to feel something for him."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I like his outlook and attitude. I like the way he sees things. I really do like him. Just not in the way this show is trying to elicit."

  "Sounds like you've found a good social networking friend."

  "I'd call you a smart-ass, but I think you're right."

  "Emmy, it's all well and good that you're reinforcing your opinions of those two from last week, but you still have six more guys. Have you gotten anywhere on where they'll be standing towards the end of this?"

  "Nooo," I moaned into the phone. "They're all weaving their way into my heart. They all have their own pace and way of going about it, but they're all doing it."

  "Then do me a favor."

  "What?"

  "Don't freaking whine and cry about having two that aren't. You have six good guys, that you're attracted to in varying degrees, vying for your attention."

  "Point taken. Thanks for the perspective check."

  "You're welcome. Now, any colors decided?"

  "Mike is red."

  "Why?"

  "Because, he puts me at ease. There's a quiet way about him, and it relaxes me. He's run with me in the morning a few times, and he totally doesn't annoy me."

  "Only people who know you can possibly understand what high praise that is. Did he kiss more than your forehead this time?"

  I frowned. "No."

  Chloe laughed. "You sound irritated."

  "Frustrated is more like it."

  "You could try kissing him."

  "I haven't had to initiate with anybody else," I muttered.

  "Maybe that's what he's waiting for, to be the one you want to chase after."

  "But that would feed into his whole insecurity thing, that's the part I'm least attracted to."

  "Cut him some slack. He's doing this on national television. Maybe he's just trying to preserve some semblance of pride. And if he fears you're keeping him around for ratings or to satisfy some sort of diversity requirement, he's probably just protecting his heart."

  "What if he doesn't feel that way for me and is just along for the ride?"

  "Then why the hell would he keep showing up to run with you, off camera?"

  "Yeah."

  Goldie's head popped up and she gave a soft 'woof' as her head snapped towards the window.

  I got up and looked out. "Oh. My. Goodness."

  Chloe got excited, "Is it Trevor?"

  "Nope."

  "Then who is it?"

  "It's Liam," I answered, a little stunned.

  "It's after midnight! What's he doing?"

  "He's in the hot tub next to my pool."

  "Ooooo, he's waiting for you."

  "How does he know I'm awake? I was laying here in the dark!"

  "Maybe he's just hoping you're up and will notice him."

  "Maybe he just needs a break from the group and figured I'd be asleep, so he thought coming down here would get him some alone time."

  She let out a disgusted snort. "If he wanted to be alone, he could have spent the night in his rig. But he isn't. He came down there to see if he could lure you outside."

  I snorted. "Maybe I should wait and see what else he does."

  "Don't be stupid. Go on out there and see what he has up his sleeve!"

  I smiled. "Well, if you insist," I said and hung up on her. I watched him for a moment, his head tilted back on the tub edge, enjoying the massaging jets, before I moved into the bathroom to change into my b
ikini.

  I tiptoed down the stairs, grabbed a couple hard lemonades out of the fridge, and opened the front door as quietly as I could. A small, smug smile appeared on his face, even though his eyes had remained closed. My smile broadened at knowing he'd heard me.

  I had a small internal debate about whether or not I should just stand there until he doubted himself and had to look. In the end, though, I figured being stuck in a house with seven others guys, who were all dating the same person he was, was enough of a hoop to jump through. I walked over, stepped down into the spa, and chose the spot next to him.

  "Couldn't sleep?" I asked and handed him one of the bottles.

  "I probably could, if I had tried," he said, taking the bottle and unscrewing the cap. "How about you?"

  "Well, I was about to turn in, but something more interesting came up."

  "The house is completely dark, what were you doing in there?"

  "Talking to my sister on the phone."

  "How's that going?"

  "Well, I figure she's either trying to keep me sane through all this, or she's trying to figure out who she wants for herself."

  He laughed. "Are the producers aware of her possible plans?"

  "I don't think so. Maybe I should warn them. I wouldn't put it past her to show up here."

  "So you're not the only rule-breaker in the family?"

  I chuckled. "Nope."

  "And do you like it when a guy breaks the rules, as well?"

  I took a swallow from my bottle. "I came out here to be with you, didn't I?"

  "How do your parents feel about your leaving for long stretches of time, moving around the country the way you do?"

  I moved to relax back against the wall behind me and Liam extended his arm, inviting me to lounge against his side, which I did. "I think my Dad has a certain level of pride in that I'm adventurous enough to do it, even if he does worry about me being out there. And Mom, well, let's just say she's never been one to break any rules. So she doesn't get it, doesn't like it, but realizes it's futile to try and stop me."

  "How do you appease her?"

  I smiled and snuggled a little closer. "Technology is a wondrous thing. We instant message and text, and she usually calls a few times a week."

  "Usually?"

  I sighed. "She can't handle what I'm doing now. She hasn't contacted me since I left to come here."