A Legion of Her Own (Sunny With A Chance of Demons Book 3)

by Jenny McKane

  Metatron looked from Sunny to Asmodeus before nodding to Sunny.

  “He’s bound to protect you as long as you have the ring and he’s working for you,” Metatron said. “You’re safe.”

  Behind him, Eli made no bones about slamming his tray of Italian food on the table, causing the sauce on top of his calzone to go flying in every direction. Sunny didn’t bother to make eye contact with him. Gideon was getting a burger and hadn’t noticed yet. Maybe it was better that way. Metatron would make him feel better about her being alone with Asmodeus.

  “Fine,” she said, patting her back pocket, making sure she had her debit card.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  “I really think there are more important things we can be doing right now,” Sunny grumbled as Asmodeus tossed another few garments on top of the pile that was already piling up in her arms. “And for the record, I’m not a personal shopper.”

  “Hush now, human,” Asmodeus flipped through the racks, his eyes taking in the fine clothing in the department store. “You couldn’t style your way out of a paper bag, that much is obvious. I’m not here for your fashion tips. We’re not going to get much time without your extended audience and whatever weird love triangle you’ve got going on. We need to get a few things out in the open before we embark up on this journey.”

  Love triangle? She’d stopped listening after he said that. What did he mean?

  “What love triangle? There’s no triangle.”

  Was there something missing she hadn’t seen going on with the others in the group? The only one remotely into other dudes was Sin, but mostly that had been a bluff to get a rise of out Eli. Sin had once proudly boasted that he’d bedded more women in Texas than Sam Houston himself. Whatever that meant—she wasn’t a native of Texas so the joke was lost on her.

  Asmodeus rolled his eyes impatiently.

  “I’m not going to spell it out for you if you don’t care to notice what’s in front of your eyes, human,” he said irritably as he placed another silk shirt into the pile.

  They moved into the elaborate changing area where Sunny sat in an overstuffed chair and watched Asmodeus preen himself in the mirror.

  She hated to admit it to him, but he had impeccable taste for just crawling out from under a rock after a 3,000-year nap.

  “How do you have such a knack for what to wear after so long?” She couldn’t help but admire his choices.

  “It’s one of my hidden powers,” he said, and she wasn’t sure if he was teasing or not. “Listen, did the archangels warn you of what would happen when you put the ring on and activated the Seal?”

  When her blank expression told him everything he needed to know, he gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

  “I swear to the fires of Hell, they get dumber each millennia,” he cursed as he turned his back to the mirror and checked out his butt in a pair of shiny yellow pants. “Yes? Or no?”

  He was asking Sunny her opinion. She shook her head at the awful banana color.

  “It’s a no from you?” He turned and sauntered back into the changing room. “Then it’s a yes for me.”

  He came out in another outfit and picked and pulled at the sleeves until they sat just so.

  “Listen, the moment you woke me and set the Seal in motion, you also set in motion a chain reaction of awakenings all throughout the demon realm. Your ancestor didn’t learn soon enough and, in the end, when I didn’t do enough to save his stupid ass, we all suffered. I’m not making the same mistake twice and I’m sure as hell not headed back to that dirty prison because you’re uninformed.”

  He was getting more and more worked up as he stared into the mirror and she watched his dark eyes flash red. His demon was worked up.

  “They didn’t say anything about what happened when the Seal activated,” she said.

  “Your modern Bible, have you read it?” He must have picked up a little biblical knowledge when he downloaded the entire Internet into his brain.

  “A little, not much,” she admitted.

  “The seals of the apocalypse, heard of them?”

  She had. He pointed to the ring on her hand.

  “That’s one of them, sweetheart,” he said. “Whether you meant to or not, you just started the apocalypse all on your own. Death’s forces are going to start waking up en masse and come looking for your pretty little ass to wipe you out and pave way for the four horsemen.”

  Panic bubbled up in her chest as he spoke. Was he playing with her? It was a joke, right?

  “No,” was all she could say.

  “Yes,” he said, looking at her through the reflection in the mirror. “You broke the Seal and now the clock is ticking.”

  “Why wouldn’t they say anything? We’re trying to help,” she said, knowing that she likely sounded pathetic. “We wouldn’t want to make anything worse.”

  Asmodeus acted like he was considering her words by rubbing his chin between his thumb and his forefinger, his eyes gazing up and to the right.

  “Hmmm…plenty of reasons, actually,” he said as he spun to face her. “Every now and then the world needs a good Armageddon to reset some of the riffraff out of play. Kill a third of the population in each realm and rulers and kingmakers can start again, you know?”

  The thought horrified Sunny and her mind scrambled to make sense of what she was hearing. Before she could ask another question, though, Asmodeus continued.

  “Then again, my money would be on the fact that they just didn’t know that the ring was also one of those Seals,” he said. “Ignorant, egotistical archangels. Of course they wouldn’t know. They don’t study things as thoroughly as they should.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Asmodeus advanced on Sunny and leaned down toward her.

  “Each time the Seal is activated, cataclysmic events follow. Famine. War. Pestilence.” Asmodeus punctuated each word with a jab in her direction. “It might not have been a traditional apocalypse with two warring sides, but the Seal punishes humanity whenever it activates. Your ancestor wanted monuments to his ego built, so he enacted the Seal to use the backs of the 72 to get it done and he was dead within a year of it being completed. So was two thirds of his population and five out of his six heirs.”

  Sunny couldn’t help but look down at her hand and wish she could go back to the beginning of the day, before she’d stupidly put it on.

  “Don’t fret, human,” Asmodeus said, all of the fire and brimstone gone from his demeanor. “It seems that in this case, you’re merely jumpstarting a process already set in motion. You’re getting your cards into play, as it were. I just wanted to be certain that you knew just what cards you were playing with. Sometimes you humans find yourselves as pawns between two opponents that don’t mind sacrificing you to reach their end game.”

  His words struck a chord with Sunny, as she’d found herself lately thinking the same thing. That in a race to get what they wanted, angels, demons and humans would run over any and every person in their way.

  Her heart sank a little, but she put a mask of indifference on as Asmodeus continued to preen in the mirror and make his final selections. When he was finished, Sunny hated to admit how relived she was that he didn’t treat her like his personal assistant and make her carry his bags out. No, he had someone from the store carry them to the SUV and Sunny was pretty sure he didn’t tip them.

  “Okay, now you,” he said, motioning for her to follow him.

  He wandered down the rows until he came to a shop that sold women’s clothing that looked like they cost more than Sunny’s first car. And the insurance, too.

  “I don’t really dress up,” she said, hating everything she saw as soon as they walked in. “It’s pretty impractical to fight in stuff like this.”

  Asmodeus stopped walking and spun to face her, making Sunny pull up short.

  He put his hands around her waist and she let out a yelp in surprise.

  “Settle down,” he said, annoyed. “I’m getting your measurement
s. I don’t want to waste time watching you act awkward in front of a mirror. I’m picking out four outfits for you to wear when you enlist your generals. You’re just going to have to trust me.”

  She was relieved that she wouldn’t have to try anything on, and true to his word, Asmodeus zipped around the shop gathering elements and pieces to what seemed like some great work of art he was creating. He even paid, too, which was great because Sunny had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to afford most of what he put in there, which included clothing, belts, jewelry and shoes. Without a word, he handed Sunny an armful of bags and walked out of the store into the mall.

  “Just a few more stops,” he said, distracted by all the flashing lights around him. “How do you modern people sleep with all these lights and sounds everywhere? It’s too much.”

  Sunny looked around the mall with the bright over head lights, the blinking shop signs, the different music blasting out of each storefront and the cacophony of sounds the people made as they moved through.

  “It’s all I’ve ever known, so I wouldn’t know any different, I guess,” she said, shrugging.

  Asmodeus just shook his head and pressed on to a smartphone retailer.

  “This is where I can purchase the small technology that the cambion had, correct?”

  She looked from Asmodeus to the store, taking a moment to comprehend what on Earth the demon was saying.

  “Sin’s smartphone?” she asked, furrowing her brows. “Yes, you can buy one here.”

  Asmodeus looked at her like she was mental and just walked into the store. Twenty minutes later, he had his own “technology” and demanded they head back to the food court so that he could begin his integration into modern society through its “victuals.”

  “Food,” she corrected him. “We call it food.”

  “Whatever you call it, it better be delicious. I’ll be inconsolable if my first real meal in 3,000 years is underwhelming,” he sniffed with an air of authority as he chose a Chinese Wok window to order from.

  Ten minutes later, he was sitting with his food steaming in front of him, going on and on about how delicious the noodles and sauce were.

  Sunny was looking around for her friends and was relieved to see them making their way towards her.

  Gideon reached her first, putting his hand in the middle of her back as he sat down next to her.

  “Hey there,” he said as he sat. He looked at the bags piled up beside her. “Do a little shopping?”

  Sunny made a face. “He insisted,” she said. “Apparently, I’m going to need to impress these generals before they agree to help us. And he thinks dressing the part is going to make all the difference. Not, you know, the opportunity to be free or anything.”

  Asmodeus had been ignoring them until that point. “These demons are fickle, violent creatures when they want to be and just because you offer a key to their freedom doesn’t mean they’re going to act like your little pets and play nice,” he said. “Two of them would likely tear your throat out rather than wasting time talking to you. But the Seal will protect you from them and they’ll likely only agree in hopes that once they are freed, they can take a swipe at you unprotected.”

  Again, Sunny made a face. “Seriously? Which ones?”

  Asmodeus shook his head and offered her a twisted smile.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  When everyone had reassembled, they took stock of the situation and decided to drive continuously for the next 16 hours, stopping once to catch a few hours of sleep. The drivers would rotate and they’d be in Phoenix by the following night if all went as planned.

  Sunny let out a long sigh.

  “What?” Gideon asked, walking beside her.

  She leaned against him without really meaning to. It was like his body was some sort of strong magnet constantly drawing her in.

  “I feel like I’ve spent most of the past few months in a car riding somewhere,” she said.

  She knew she was being whiny, but she couldn’t help it. The thought of another long car ride made her crazy.

  “Chin up, Buttercup,” he said, making her smile.

  He’d said that to her often when they first started working together at Michael’s insistence in Seattle.

  “Don’t push me, demon,” she retorted, as she often did back in those simpler, easier days.

  “I call shotgun,” Sin yelled as they jogged toward the parking lot.

  “No!” Two archangels and one archdemon called in unison.

  Sunny couldn’t help but laugh.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Asmodeus didn’t offer up many details about his own past, much to Sunny’s disappointment. She felt like she was dealing with someone who was more foe than friend and, as the saying went, “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” She wanted to know what made Asmodeus tick and what had caused his downfall at the hands of Solomon.

  Except, he kept his past locked tight.

  It turned out, he was more interested in learning everyone else’s stories and drawing their pain and vulnerabilities out of them.

  And being trapped in a vehicle for 16 hours gave him ample time to draw into people’s pasts. Sin was the first to crumble and was spilling his story in no time, earning a few rolled eyes and head shakes. Eli wasn’t impressed at how quickly the cambion wanted to share his story with the archdemon.

  “It never once occurred to you to track down your sire and have your revenge for abandoning you?”

  Sin frowned at Asmodeus’ question.

  “Well,” he said slowly, considering his words, “things like that aren’t really done in the human realm, and because he’s human himself, it just would have landed me in prison for a really long time.”

  “And what of this succubus mother of yours? Where did she go?”

  Sin shrugged. “I have no idea.”

  Asmodeus watched the passing scenery go by in silence. “Succubae are the worst mothers,” he grumbled. “Which is ironic because they seem to reproduce the most freely.”

  Mommy and daddy issues aside, Sunny got the feeling that Asmodeus was also interested in understanding the workings of modern demons and how they related to one another—something that wouldn’t be readily available for consumption through the Internet.

  “And so, you and the demons in the surrounding areas respected these invisible boundaries? No one tried to come into your home and take it from you? No single demon tried to appropriate your tavern with a show of force?”

  Sin had tried to explain that he had a bar below his home on the second floor.

  “For the most part, no,” Sin replied. “We all tried to get along because too much violence would scare the humans away.”

  Sunny swore she heard Asmodeus snort.

  “So?”

  Yep, there it was. Just like the Powers, he had an inherent disdain for humans.

  “So, no humans means nobody buying the alcohol and paying my dancers for the joy of seeing them half naked,” Sin said. “Which means no money.”

  “But territory,” Asmodeus said. “You own territory, don’t you?”

  He wasn’t getting it.

  “In this age, territory is a means to make money,” Sunny explained. “Money is stored in banks and the name of the game isn’t to have the biggest property, but the property that makes the most income. Humans bring income to you in exchange for beer and boobs.”

  That caught the lust demon’s attention.

  “Do your dancers work as prostitutes?”

  Sin shook his head.

  “The local authorities would shut me down in a heartbeat if they did,” he said. “No, they just danced.”

  “And men paid money to watch them and to not touch?” The look of pure confusion on the archdemon’s face was classic.

  “Boatloads of money,” Sin said. “I’ve got quite a store of money myself thanks to boobs and beer.”

  Asmodeus nodded to himself, seeming to take it all in. “And this is what you w
ant out of this world? To make money?”

  Sin looked confused at the question. “What else would I want?”

  “Power, standing, prestige?”

  Sin made a face and shook his head. “No thanks,” he said. “Power and standing put a target on your back. I’d rather make a pile of money and buy a boat somewhere and live out on the beach. Maybe get myself a girlfriend or two. Maybe a boyfriend, too. I don’t know. But do I want to battle other demons and humans and amass some sort of power legacy? Hell no, I don’t. I want to be left alone to be happy.”

  He was likely speaking a language that Asmodeus simply couldn’t understand, but if he didn’t track how Sin could simply not be interested in any of the trappings an older demon like him would covet, he didn’t show it. He simply went quiet and watched out his window.

  “Girlfriends? I thought you were gay?” Sunny heard Eli ask Sin from behind her.

  She had to cover a snicker, remembering the line he’d thrown at them both when he’d been tied up in Metatron’s Austin home.

  “I like to consider myself sexually fluid,” he said with a grin. “It makes things way more interesting and simple. You should try it sometime.”

  He waggled his eyebrows suggestively as Sunny watched the encounter over her shoulders and tried not to laugh at Eli’s look of horror.

  “Okay, okay, don’t get so Puritan on me,” Sin said as he laid his head back against the bench seat and closed his eyes. “It was just a suggestion. And maybe an invitation.”

  Eli grumbled at the cambion as Sunny turned back to face front. Gideon was leaning on her shoulder and sleeping, so she tried to lay back and get comfortable, too. Their next stop wasn’t for another four hours at least. But she couldn’t sleep. No matter what she tried to force her mind from racing, she couldn’t sleep.

  Miserable and tired and cranky, and mostly really sore from holding the same position for so long as to not disturb Gideon, Sunny jumped on the chance to sit up when Gideon turned away in his sleep to lean against the window.

  Rolling her neck out she rubbed her eyes and cursed this tension that was keeping her up.