HeartStrings

by Savannah Kade

  "What did they say?"

  She went on to describe what was available in the area and what kind of loan she would probably qualify for. Then she talked about the new job she'd landed at a local theater, before shutting herself up and asking about his trip.

  He told her about the song in general, but not the lyrics she'd inspired. About the weather in Sacramento. He told her about the drive into Eugene, Oregon. Something stupid he'd done, something ridiculous TJ had said. Then they'd hung up.

  But the house stayed on his mind when they played the next night in Boise. Why did she want a place separate from him? She'd barely been in town a month. So he understood that she didn't want to put another change on the boys that fast, but in his mind she would move in with him. That meant the boys would move in with him, too.

  He'd already contemplated which rooms would belong to which kid. He'd contemplated choosing colors of paint with them. He thought that his small, three-bedroom house might need to upgrade to a four-bedroom house. It would give him and Shay an office to share. He'd convinced himself that she'd stay in the rental until she was ready to be with him. That her own house would be their house.

  Clearly, Shay was not thinking the same way.

  Wilder played to packed houses in Cheyenne, Omaha, and Springfield on consecutive nights. Each day he talked to Shay. She got a preliminary order for some rising new country starlet who opened for Hailey. And another for some guy who sang backup for Hailey. So Hailey was finding her more work. Craig wasn't. Not that anyone would listen to him if he told them where to get their fashion from, but he wasn’t helping any. It occurred to him that the more Shay worked, the faster she could afford a house that didn't have him in it.

  Sure, they were sleeping over, but she'd limited it to one night a week. Apparently, Christmas had been an exception. Since the semester had started, she wouldn't have him over on school nights. His arguments that Aaron only had "school" on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday had fallen on deaf ears.

  She loved him, but he couldn't get her to move any faster. Now, with dreams of ‘the house,’ she was moving further away. Maybe not in miles, but definitely further from the two of them really being together.

  He pulled JD out into the common area of the bus while they rolled from Springfield to Lexington—the last stop. Though he wasn't where he'd once been, the song about picking his heart up off the floor had just become easier to write. JD didn't say anything about his mood, just picked chords and offered harmonies and lyrics. They were a good team, always had been. Craig remembered that if something happened with Shay, the guys would still be here for him. It wasn't really comfort, but it would help.

  "Try this." JD broke his thoughts with a few chords.

  "You want to take the end up like that?"

  JD shrugged at him. "If the ending is supposed to be lighter, better? I mean, if they're together at the end of the song, then yes."

  That was the big question, wasn't it? Were they together at the end of the song? Craig felt like he was setting his still-beating heart on the table between them. "I don't know yet."

  Just then his phone rang. Shay.

  He stepped away from the table with a motion to JD, who seemed to understand. "Hey, what's going on?"

  She took in a deep breath. "I got a preliminary approval on a loan. So I can start house hunting for real!"

  Of course she did.

  His heart went through the floor.

  Chapter 33

  Craig yelped and reached out for Owen's hand as the boy touched the sizzling bacon.

  "No. That's hot!" Craig nearly yelled it, then grabbed the small hand, realizing he didn't know what to do. Then he did. "Shit. You need ice."

  He pulled a cube from Shay's freezer and held it to Owen's finger before he realized Shay was staring at him. "What?"

  "Don't swear in front of the kids." She frowned then went back to flipping the pancakes and directing Aaron to set the table.

  "Shi—shoot." Craig felt the word coming on then quickly corrected himself. "You're right."

  He did not have the vocabulary to be around kids, though he usually did better around JD and Kelsey's brood. He looked down at the six-year-old to see if he'd traumatized the kid. Owen was holding back a giggle. Craig remembered Shay told him the kid was reading Stephen King. And he couldn't swear? Maybe she was worried about the little one.

  "Hold that." He curled the ice into Owen’s hand and went back to turning the bacon. "And don't touch it again. Anything on the stove that sizzles is definitely too hot to touch."

  Owen gave a single nod of acknowledgment to that fact and went back to watching the bacon cook. Craig couldn't remember ever wanting to watch something like that as a kid. Then again, he didn't read adult books when he was six either. So he paid careful attention to Owen to see how the boy reacted to things. Also, Owen had a birthday coming up soon, and Craig needed gift ideas. He couldn't woo the kid with books again.

  Shay put pancakes onto plates and handed them to Aaron to take to the table. When he dropped one of them, she helped him throw out the floor-pancakes and wipe the plate and start over. Craig was impressed. He'd lived in families where that kind of clumsiness would have been punished. And a three-year-old wouldn't have a chance to even try to set the table.

  "Did you make extra?" Craig asked her, wondering if she planned ahead for messes.

  "Always." She gave a wry smile as she carefully mopped the spot up with a paper towel, before popping back up to flip the pancakes that were cooking.

  When the bacon was done and laid out on paper towels, Craig handed it to Owen to put on the table. Then he prayed the kid didn't drop all that good bacon. Luckily, Owen was more coordinated than his little brother and there was plenty to have with breakfast.

  Afterward, Shay made the boys take their plates to the sink. Even Owen couldn't quite reach down into the sink yet and Craig was relieved to see they simply set the plates on the counter. He wasn't sure what that really accomplished, but it seemed to be a routine. When the boys left the room to go play, Shay set down her fork in an ominous manner.

  Craig waited. What could happen next? It was Sunday, and Saturday was his only night to sleep over with her. The only one she would allow. Some weeks even that didn't happen. Despite things being better here than in Bristol, she now had both kids all the time. Aside from three daycare days for Aaron, Shay had no relief, no time off from being a mom. No extra time to spend with Craig.

  When she took a breath, Craig held his.

  "The Nashville Ballet Theatre has asked to see my portfolio."

  "That's great." He tried to be enthusiastic. While he was happy for her business success, he saw it as another move away from him, too. That made sincere joy for her harder to summon.

  "They want to meet with me on Tuesday." She paused. "And Aaron's daycare is full and Owen gets home off the bus at two and they want to the meeting at two-thirty."

  He waited, knowing there was more.

  "Kelsey recommended three sitters and they’re all busy. I don't know how to ask you to do this, but can you watch the boys so I can make the meeting?" She looked worried.

  Craig was about to jump up and down. Finally, something to do that was useful. He figured he had to show her something. She was running around being supermom all the time and shutting him out. "Of course I can. What time do you need me?"

  "If you can get here at about one forty-five? Aaron will be here. I'll be ready and I'll leave." She shrugged. "I have no idea how long the meeting will go or what traffic will be like on my way back."

  He nodded, knowing he had rehearsal that afternoon and that he wouldn't make it. He would simply work something out. Maybe they could take a different day. Or he could be late. He didn't like the idea, but if ever there was a reason to be late, this was it. He'd talk to JD first.

  Her shoulders lost some of the tension and she breathed out the words "Thank you so much," as she picked up her plate and headed for the sink. "It's a big load off my
worries."

  Had she thought he wouldn't do it?

  "Can I take them to my house? We can play with the puppies." He hadn't yet broached the subject of bringing the puppies over here.

  "Sure." But when she turned to look at him, she looked like she was calculating something. "Who takes care of the dogs when you're here on Sunday mornings?"

  "Daniel."

  "Daniel Hewlitt? Kelsey and JD's Daniel!?" Her voice was rising.

  She was upset, though Craig couldn't fathom why. He just nodded since she was looking right at him and he had no clue what was going on.

  "So Kelsey and JD know you spend the night here on Saturday nights?" Her face was red.

  "Yes." Why was she embarrassed? Was she upset? "That or they think I cheat on you only on Saturdays."

  She didn't find that funny.

  "I don't understand, Shay." He frowned at her, wondering how this conversation had turned from him saving her to him somehow throwing her under the bus. "They know we're together. It's not some big secret."

  "Yeah, but they know when." Shay was really upset about them knowing, but Craig was frustrated by the rest of it.

  "That's because you limit us to Saturday nights and the random daytimes when Aaron is in daycare!" He tried to keep his voice low, but his frustration was growing.

  "The boys have to get ready for school the other mornings." She was loading dishes into the dishwasher with a little too much force. But what did she have to be upset about? Only her own prudish ideas. Craig held his tongue on saying that. She had no trouble telling people her boys had different fathers, but god forbid someone realize a decent man was staying over.

  He shocked himself with that thought. She wasn't even looking as he realized it had taken comparing himself to her two crappy ex-husbands to finally think of himself as a decent man. Then again, it had taken her to get him to even want to stay with one woman. His shoulders sagged. He wanted this, and it kept hovering just out of reach. He had enough to taste a life he wanted, but not have the whole thing. The last time he'd had a taste of something so much better than where he'd come from had been the time he and Alex had hooked up with JD and they'd started playing together. When they talked about staying together, not just practicing, but really becoming a group, he'd voted "Hell, yes!" twice. Now here was Shay—another massively better life than the one he thought he was content in—and he was going to reach out for it with both hands.

  "Why can't I be here when they're getting ready for school?"

  She turned to face him, soapy hands braced on the counter behind her. She didn't look quite as ready to jump in as he was. "We'll get there. But I've thrown a lot at the boys recently. Even you are something totally new to them. They're handling it well and I want to continue that. Let's see how things go."

  So Craig let her throw him out at eleven and he went home to Scarlett and Gunnar, who had been taken out in the backyard and walked and more that morning. Craig grinned. Daniel was better than the dog sitter; he worked with them, teaching them to sit and stay. He loved giving the puppies treats and since Craig had limited treats to good behavior, Daniel made sure they performed. Craig was also pretty convinced that the boy was so ecstatic to play with puppies that he stayed until they fell asleep on him.

  When he let them out, they romped around the living room a bit, but were apparently still worn out from Daniel's visit that morning. So Craig looked around the place, thinking about what he could do to have more things for Owen and Aaron around. He had nothing. Unless they wanted to play guitar. That thought perked him up, but if they did, he didn't have anything he was about to let the little one touch. After lunch and a backyard visit for the puppies, he hit the store.

  Shay had a bin to put toys in. Well, actually she had three. He would start with one. He added a few dolls, a few robots, some kids percussion sets—kids loved drums didn't they? It was where he had started.

  He then hit the grocery store. He had things in the fridge for the boys already, which was something that boggled his brain each time he opened the door and the light shone on the juice boxes. Who would have ever thought Craig Hibbets would have juice boxes and would look forward to having two little kids come to his house so he could be completely responsible for them? Well, a year ago he would have laughed if you'd told him he'd be head over heels for two puppies and a woman, let alone kids. So he sucked it up and bought fruit strips, reading the labels just as Shay had pointed out to him. It was a brave new world, apparently just one without high fructose corn syrup.

  On Tuesday, Shay called him at one-fifteen, her voice pitched high. Anxiety radiated in waves through the line. "Can you come sooner? I'm not even dressed yet. Aaron's being . . . He's not letting me get ready."

  Craig wasn't ready either, but he grabbed his keys as he said, "I'll be there in five minutes."

  Then he realized the puppies were out and both sitting diligently, watching the keys, hoping they could go to the park. He sighed, hating to break their little hearts. So he told them, "The boys will be here soon, and that will make up for it."

  He raced out the door a few minutes later, arriving at Shay's to find her running back and forth between the bathroom and a screaming kid. Lovely.

  But as quickly as the thought crossed his mind, it left. This was it. This was his opportunity to show her that he was fine. And honestly, he was. He'd been in facilities where one kid or another was always screaming. Some of them had been truly mentally ill and getting no help. He'd been through far worse than an upset toddler.

  Putting his hands on Shay's shoulders, he turned her toward the bathroom. "I've got this. Go."

  In the living room he sat down next to Aaron, who had his head thrown back and was screaming. The kid had lungs. Craig leaned in, trying not to get hit by arms that were pumping with rage, clutching the very Legos he'd bought the kid for Christmas. "Why are we crying?"

  He had to ask a second time before Aaron sniffed and looked at him, holding out several pieces.

  "You want them together, or apart?" Craig asked as the pieces fell into his outstretched hands.

  Shay headed out the door just a few moments later, stopping almost frantically to kiss first Aaron, then Craig, on the tops of their heads. Deftly she sidestepped away from Aaron rubbing his still tearstained face on her skirt, then she was out the door almost before Craig could yell, "You look great. Knock'em dead."

  "Well," he looked at Aaron. "It's just you and me now." But it was one fifty-five before he knew it, the small start of a Lego building the only evidence of time passage. "We have to go out and wait for Owen."

  "On the bus?" Aaron asked him, and they barely made it in time once Craig got them all bundled up to stand out in the cold. Owen hopped down off bus steps that looked almost as tall as he was, and the three of them trundled inside. Owen wanted a snack and insisted on eating it at home, despite Craig's insistence that he had great snacks at his house. Oh well, fruit strips keep, he thought.

  Somehow, it took half an hour to make the five-minute drive to his house. Then the puppies were unleashed and the new toys in the bin forgotten. All his work and preparation unnecessary in the face of cute, furry creatures.

  For seven minutes, things went well.

  "No, Aaron." Craig pushed the toddler's hand off Scarlett's tail. "You can't pull her tail."

  Then, "Owen, no. That's too many treats." He sighed. "I know you're working with them, but they need to start learning to sit just to sit. Not only for a treat. And they need to eat their dinner, too."

  Owen nodded, and sighed, then went over to the treats box. Craig watched as the kid unloaded about half a box of tiny milkbones from his pockets. Jeez, the kid had loaded up. He was glad he caught it early. Even so, Owen unknowingly spilled a few small bones. Though Owen missed it, Scarlett and Gunnar didn't, and they scarfed up the treats as each hit the floor.

  Craig told himself they would be okay. Milkbones weren't bad for them and Owen didn't mean to do it. He helped the kid close up the box
then put it on top of the refrigerator. As soon as he turned back around, he saw Aaron walking across the room.

  Something was suspicious about it, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Three minutes later when Aaron petted Gunnar and left a sticky spot on the dog, Craig turned to the kid. "Aaron, what is that?"

  "Mrhphh?"

  He had no clue what the kid said, but the red ring around his mouth was telling.

  "Aaron, what is that?" When the kid pushed his lips together, Craig held his hand out. In half a second, a hard candy slithered out of Aaron's mouth, plopping into his waiting palm.

  Uuugghh. That was disgusting.

  He was walking to the sink even as he tried to figure out what it was. "Oh. No, no candy, Aaron."

  Grabbing a paper towel and wetting it, he went back to wipe first the boy, then the dog. It took three tries to leave Gunnar with a wet streak instead of a red, slimy candy one. As soon as he had it finished, he turned to find Aaron with his hand in the dish of jolly ranchers that had been out since Halloween. "No. Aaron, no candy."

  The boy dropped what he was holding back into the dish and Craig looked frantically at Owen. At least he was doing well, working with Scarlett, even though she seemed to be losing enthusiasm without the treats as reward. But even as he sighed in relief at that sight, Craig turned back to Gunnar.

  "Aaron, no. You can't pull their tails." This time he took the boy's hand and shook it.

  When the kid made a growl of disappointment, or maybe anger, Owen looked at his face. "Why is your face green?"

  Chapter 34

  Shay was so mad she could spit nails.

  Yesterday's meeting with the Nashville Ballet Theatre had gone so well she'd wound up staying until five, talking designs with the costumer, discussing fabrics she could order wholesale if they were in big enough batches.

  The Theatre had a new director who wanted to take them in a more modern direction. They had a designer who came into the meeting—apparently once Shay passed the initial inspection by the director—and showed Shay the ideas for the costuming.