by Chloe Garner
She had to be clever about her choice, here.
The rest of the room was very engaged with the contest, and teachers had started coming in from the hallway to see what the unusual commotion was about - usually lunches were a well-discipline event at the School of Magic Survival - but no one interfered as Hanson and Shack devoured the food in front of them.
By some boy-code, they would both know who won, when it was over, though Valerie just saw two messy trays typically. She had about a minute left before it was all over and everyone would go back to their original conversations.
There.
Rebecca and Ginger. They didn’t mind her. She went to sit down next to Rebecca, glancing once over her shoulder again as Hanson put his arms in the air and Shack threw himself back from the table. It had been close. When Hanson destroyed someone, he didn’t celebrate that much.
“Oh, my gosh, I’ll never understand,” Rebecca was saying.
“Gross,” Ginger agreed without turning away.
“Who is he, anyway?” Rebecca asked.
“He’s actually a friend of mine from back home,” Valerie said. “He’s staying here for protection, because his parents are both busy.”
“Thought your back home was all civilian,” Rebecca said, and Valerie shrugged.
“There was one magic-using family there,” she said, jerking her head toward Hanson. “Anyway, have you guys looked at the essay that we’re doing for Mr. Hardy?”
She successfully turned the conversation, mostly listening as Rebecca and Ginger went on from there. She looked back once as Hanson and Shack were talking and finishing their meals, and she caught Ethan watching her. He looked pointedly at the empty chair next to him, and she shook her head, laughing with Rebecca at something Ginger had said.
She hadn’t forgiven them. Not either of them.
But maybe she’d taken the first step.
That was something only time could tell.
Sasha was on cloud nine that night as she came in from walking with Hanson. Valerie was working on her essay and had a book on rock properties that she’d borrowed from the library and was attempting to memorize. Her library privileges were hard-won and deeply appreciated.
“So?” Valerie asked without looking over.
“He’s been through so much, Val,” Sasha said, throwing herself onto her bed and putting her arms under her head.
Only Hanson called her Val. And her mom.
“I imagine he has,” Valerie said. “I actually believe his mom left.”
“Don’t be like that,” Sasha said. “Please? If he’s a stranger, can he just be a stranger?”
“Nope,” Valerie said, turning the page in her book and writing down another list of things she needed to know from the section headings.
It was a well-organized book. Kept everything in lists, rather than wandering down roads of history and cross-related stuff.
“He wasn’t sure he could even get back here,” Sasha said. “He stayed in the city for all this time because he thought he was completely friendless.”
“Hanson is never friendless,” Valerie answered, then put down her pen and spun in her chair slowly to look at Sasha. The look in the girl’s eyes was nothing short of dreamy.
Valerie couldn’t help but smile.
“He knew you were going to be angry when he got back. He still wants to be your friend, though.”
Of course he did.
He hadn’t lost anything from their relationship, and he might still be able to cash in on it. That proximity to her.
Everyone wanted to use her to get to her mom, and then her mom had seemed to think that Valerie had value unto herself.
What, Valerie couldn’t begin to imagine, but… The fact that everyone who had wanted to get to be friends with her seemed to have an ulterior motive at this point seemed to support it.
Except Sasha.
Valerie narrowed her eyes at the girl - not for the first time - wondering if it wasn’t possible that Sasha was just the most clever and deceptive of them all, but Sasha just stared at the ceiling with a dopey smile.
There was simply nothing deceptive about her.
“I didn’t ever want to see him again,” Valerie said, and Sasha looked over at her, concerned. Valerie shrugged. “I can’t believe he would do that to me. And his mom. For all those years, the two of them, lying to me every time they even spoke to me.”
“He couldn’t have lied about everything,” Sasha said. “You were friends for forever. You had to have known almost everything about him.”
“Apparently not,” Valerie said.
“He’s moved in with Ethan, now,” Sasha said.
“They actually let him?” Valerie asked. “I wasn’t sure if they would.
“Apparently Franky Frank is a lot different from Mrs. Gold,” Sasha told her. “As long as no one is immediately in danger of dying, he doesn’t care what they do.”
Valerie raised her eyebrows and Sasha nodded.
“Shack is talking about building a third bunk in there and all three of them cramming in.”
“Oh, the smell,” Valerie said. “Ethan’s going to end up having to move out, just to survive.”
Sasha smiled, covering her face with her hands.
“I’m so happy,” she said.
There was no way the girl was going to keep her guard up against Hanson. He really was that nice a guy, at least the way he put it on.
Valerie missed the idea of him, and there was a deep-gut pang of grief.
“We talked about everything,” Sasha went on. “He’s going to teach me about sports, and I’m going to teach him magic…”
“Hold up,” Valerie said. “He doesn’t know any magic. I thought that was the point. It kept him safe.”
“Maybe from demons,” Sasha answered. “But if his parents are connected to the Council - and it really does sound like they are, to me - then I think that he’s got as much to fear from the Superiors as the rest of us do.”
Valerie frowned, considering this.
She’d been genuinely concerned about him, there for a moment. That was instructive, though she was too ill-feeling to figure out why or how.
She’d just been settling in, when he’d turned up and blown it all up, and she was just getting used to what her life was again, when he turned up once more and blew it all up. And suddenly Sasha was madly in love and Ethan was the one being reasonable.
What.
Just.
What?
“Do you think I shouldn’t?” Sasha asked, pressing Valerie after a moment’s pause.
“No,” Valerie answered. “That’s not it. You know better than I do. It’s just… he’s still a civilian, in my head. The idea of him being a magic user…”
Sasha rolled onto her side and frowned.
“He may have known what magic was, and you didn’t, but he’s basically no better off than you were when you first got here, and he doesn’t have the advantages of being a natural, the way you do. He’s going to be so far behind, and I doubt he works as hard as you have to catch up because… Well, I’ve never known someone who works as hard at school as me, other than you.”
Valerie nodded.
“He’s really smart,” she said.
“I know,” Sasha gushed.
Valerie tipped her head back, groaning a laugh.
“You’re awful,” she said. “I wasn’t this bad, was I?”
“When?” Sasha asked, sitting up.
“With Ethan,” Valerie said.
“You were in love with Ethan?” Sasha asked.
Valerie jerked mentally to a halt and stared at Sasha.
“You’re in love with Hanson?” she countered.
“What?” Sasha asked. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I… Were you in love with Ethan?”
Valerie shook her head.
“No.” It was more tart than she’d absolutely meant it to be, but it was exactly right all the same. “Not even close. I just really liked him, and he kis
sed me the one time and…”
“He kissed you and you didn’t tell me?” Sasha asked.
Had that gotten past her?
“I thought I did,” Valerie said. “Maybe you forgot.”
“Would I forget?” Sasha asked.
“I don’t know. My mom turned up and we locked everyone in their rooms and then there were dead people upstairs. I barely remember anything from that night.”
Sasha frowned, then nodded slowly.
“You make a good point.”
“Of course I do,” Valerie said. “Now you need to slow this train down and think about it. You’re talking about the guy who pretended to be my best friend my entire life and then turned out to have been a spy. I get that you like him and you probably trust him completely and whatever, but you can’t go falling in love with him in two days.”
“Well,” Sasha said slowly, then flipped onto her back and grinned at the ceiling again. “He makes me so happy.”
Valerie shook her head and spun back to her book, unhurried.
She wanted to warn Sasha not to let him break her heart the way he’d done to Valerie, but… Way, way, way down, underneath how badly she wanted to never see him again, she trusted and believed that what he’d done was something that had rooted from his mom - not him - and that he would never hurt her friend intentionally.
Glancing back at Sasha once more, she stood, going to get her shower kit and her towel. Sasha took almost no note of her as she left, going past the bathroom at the end of the hallway and up the stairs to the boys’ rooms. Before ten, she was allowed to be in the hallway, but not in the rooms.
She knocked on Ethan’s door, and Shack answered.
“Oh,” he said. “Valerie.” He paused. “Um. Who are you here to see?”
“Hanson,” she said. He looked at the towel over her shoulder, and she raised an eyebrow.
“I could hardly come up here and threaten him if Sasha knew that was what I was about to do, now can I?”
Shack frowned, humored, and turned. Hanson was already coming to the door. Ethan peeked around the corner, curious, but gave her half a smile and retreated back around the wall again.
“Hey, Val,” Hanson said, starting to pull the door closed behind him. Valerie stuck her foot out so that it couldn’t pivot, and she lifted her chin.
“We can be friends again,” she said. “You, me, all of us. But on one condition.”
“Anything,” Hanson said.
“You hurt her, I will break with all of you so hard and you will never see me or hear from me again. Is that clear? You tell me now if you don’t mean it, if it doesn’t mean to you what it does to her, and I’ll break it to her gently and you can still try to earn forgiveness. But if you let it go on and you hurt her? I will make sure I never lay eye on any one of you again.”
“Hey,” Shack called. “How did I get caught up in this?”
“You were here,” Valerie answered, without taking her eyes off Hanson.
“Fair enough,” Shack grumped cheerfully enough.
“I can’t promise that,” Hanson said quietly. “I…” He swallowed. “She’s so sweet, Val.”
“She is,” Valerie answered.
“I can’t promise that it’s going to end well. You know that.”
She nodded.
That voice. So familiar to her.
“I know. I’m not asking you to marry her. If it ends and she’s sad, that’s fine. If you two end up not working, that’s fine. But you lie to her, you cheat on her, you abandon her? If you do something to hurt her, now, in the past, or in the future… I mean it. I can deal with it, for me, but I won’t deal with it for her. You understand?”
He looked her in the eye, his expression level, sincere.
She would have called it entirely transparent, except for everything.
“Yes.”
She nodded, then tipped onto one foot for a moment to look around him.
“You two have any suspicion he’s lying to me, speak now or forever hold your peace,” she said.
“Would you take candy-covered unicorn boy with you?” Ethan called. “Please? He’s getting a bit disgusting for our taste.”
Hanson looked off to the side, and Valerie tried to smother a smile.
“I’m going to the library after my shower,” she said. “If you need an escape destination, you’re welcome to join me.”
Shack lunged for a desk, shoving books into a backpack.
“Sold,” he announced, then straightened, grinning. “Don’t know the half of it, I’m sure, but they deserve another chance. You’re too awesome to just let it go like that.”
“You’re too good for these guys,” Valerie answered, then reached up to touch Hanson’s face. It was strange, for her, but it felt right, and he crushed her in a hug.
“I missed you,” he said.
“I missed you,” she answered. “And it isn’t all fixed. I still don’t feel like I know you.”
“I know,” he said. “I wanted to tell you… I don’t even remember how long I’ve wanted to tell you. I just… Would you have even believed me?”
She paused at this, as he let her go, then she shook her head.
“No. But you should have, anyway. At least when you came here, and you knew that I knew.”
He nodded.
“I know. It was deciding between you and my mom…”
She frowned hard. She’d never thought of it like that.
“I have big problems with your mom, now,” she said, and he nodded.
“You and me both.”
That was a gut-punch. He and his mom had been so close…
She shook her head.
“I’m going to go shower and then study. We’ll talk.”
“All I could ask for,” Hanson said. “I really do like her.”
“Fair warning,” Valerie said. “She’s thinking that she might be in love with you.”
He pressed his lips, just a flicker of a motion, and something about the way his hairline eased… and the way the guys in the room held their breaths…
“Oh, for crying out loud,” Valerie said loudly. “You do, too.”
He looked to the side without turning his head, and Valerie shook her head.
“I wash my hands of both of you. I have rocks to study.”
“Rocks!” Ethan called from inside the room, and Valerie grinned.
“I’ll be at the library in fifteen minutes,” she called back.
“See you there.”
Her hair was wet when she dropped her stuff back off in the room.
Before very long at all, Sasha was going to find out that she’d made up with Hanson and Ethan, but it wasn’t going to be right now.
“I’m going to the library,” she said. “Been sitting here too long.”
“Should go for a walk,” Sasha told her. “It’s beautiful outside.”
“It’s dark outside,” Valerie answered, smiling. “You want to get something to eat after that?”
The cafeteria put out desserts after nine on Thursdays, if you were one of the first ones to get there.
“I’ll be there when they put them out,” Sasha said. “Get two.”
Valerie smiled.
“Thanks.”
Valerie took her stuff and walked to the library, finding Ethan at one table and Shack at another. Ethan had tactically spread all of his books out across the table to fill up the whole space; he stood, without looking up, and picked up one of them to reference something, then frowned and picked up another, flipping pages through it as he sat again, clearing the spot across from him.
“Slick,” Valerie said, sitting down.
“Means so much, coming from you,” he answered without looking up. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, then the corner of his mouth came up and he turned.
And there.
Just like the first time.
Without her permission or agreement.
There.
That quease in her stomach and the
way her toes felt hot.
That was why she’d liked him from the beginning.
Yes, she could see it now. The bad boy in there, defying authority and disengaging from the things that adults told him were important.
But.
There was also an earnestness to it, an interest in it, that look.
She licked her lips and looked away, getting her rock book out of her backpack while she waited for the goosebumps on her arms to pass.
He was still watching her when she sat up again, though without quite the same intensity.
“Am I forgiven, too, then?” he asked, and she looked up to meet his eyes once more.
Drew a breath.
That caught.
She laughed, unable to meet him with seriousness.
Leaned over the table so that Shack was at least unlikely to hear.
“You know that kiss was too good for me to just completely walk away,” she breathed, and he grinned.
“Right?”
She sat back against her chair again, then pulled her feet up onto the next chair over, situating her book on her knees and her paper on the desk next to her.
“And now, I actually am going to study rocks,” she said. “Unbelievable.”
“And things can go back to normal,” Ethan answered.
Valerie flicked a glance at him.
“Normal?” she asked. “What’s normal? I’m still at a school studying magic, my mom is still off being a special forces ninja assassin, and someone let in a bunch of demons to try to kill me.”
She paused.
Paused hard, in point of fact.
“Someone let in a bunch of demons to try to kill me,” she said after a moment.
“You don’t know that they were here specifically for you,” Ethan said, then dipped his chin. “Do you?”
She swallowed.
She wanted to trust him.
Wanted to trust someone that completely.
She hadn’t even tried to explain it to Sasha - not really.
“I think they were,” she said after a moment, not quite there yet.
They’d left when her father had turned up and rescued her. Gotten her out of there. It meant they were after her.
She knew that.
But how could she convince him without mentioning her father?
