How To Fall In Love

by Bella Jewel

  When he’s got his head between my legs, he stands up, shoving me up the wall higher. His face is right between my legs, and his tongue slides out, flicking my clit with force. I scream; there’s no stopping it. I tangle my fingers into his hair as he moves his mouth over me, driving deep, taking his fill of my sex. He sucks until I’m having an earth-shattering orgasm around him, and then he’s lowering me and spinning me around, pressing my face to the wall.

  He trails his fingers down my spine. He reaches my ass, and he slaps it lightly. I whimper and push myself backwards, wanting more of him. He takes hold of my hands, raising them above my head and placing them on the wall, and then he wraps his arms around me, pulling me back against him and placing his hands on my breasts.

  Then he’s inside me again.

  It’s different from this angle, but the pleasure is equally as strong. I press my forehead to the wall, and shudder as his lips go down and trail over the backs of my shoulders while his hand holds onto my hip, using it to drive his deep, penetrating thrusts. I feel myself building again. My knees are wobbling, my body is tense and I’m crying his name.

  Then he speaks. “Give. Me. A. Number.”

  His voice is gravelly and laced with lust. I shudder, but I ignore him. I’m so close. God, so close.

  He stops.

  I cry out. “William, please.”

  My orgasm dies down, and he slowly begins to move again, building me right back up again.

  “Give me a number,” he orders into my ear, sliding his fingers around to pinch one of my nipples.

  “William,” I plead. “I’m close.”

  He stops again.

  “A number, or no release,” he growls.

  I bite my lip; I can’t give that to him. He thrusts again, only this time he finds my clit, and he pinches it between his thumb and forefinger. I gasp, and drop my head back, feeling my hair cascade down my back. He buries his face into my neck, and he rasps, “You want to come? Give me a number.”

  I’m so close again. I need it. I need to feel myself erupt around him. When he rolls my clit in his fingers, I can’t hold back.

  “N-n-number Eleven and One,” I say, and then I cry out. “Oh God, I’m going to...oh...”

  “Yes,” he growls, thrusting his hips harder.

  I come so hard my knees buckle. William wraps his arms around my waist, holding me up while still thrusting his cock upwards. A moment later, his grunts are filling my ears as he comes hard inside me, pulsing and shuddering until we’re both fully relieved. Then he pulls out of me, and spins me around, pressing my back against the wall. His hands go up either side of my face.

  “Did you feel that, frumusețe?” he mutters, staring at my lips.

  “Yes,” I breathe.

  He runs his fingers down my jaw again, and I see his tick. “Go to your room. I will call on you soon. I have to deal with this now.”

  “They were jealous,” I say, giving him my best pleading eyes. “You were giving me a part of yourself they weren’t getting.”

  He leans in close. “They have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and a bed to sleep in each night. It’s more than they ever had before. I call the shots in this house; they do not. Go to your room.”

  I nod, knowing that nothing I can say will sway him. He runs his finger down and then cups my jaw. “That was amazing.”

  I flush, and smile.

  “Good day, William.”

  He grins at me, and my heart flutters. I’ve seen a lot from William, but never an outright grin.

  It’s...devastating.

  He has dimples. Big, beautiful ones.

  “Good day, frumusețe.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  WILLIAM

  “You chose to take it upon yourselves to punish someone in my home?” I growl, pacing in front of Number One and Number Eleven.

  They say nothing.

  There’s nothing to say.

  “I thought you would have known better by now, Number Eleven. I offered Number Thirteen your punishment and she let you escape it, and this is how you repay her? By beating her? That’s a bully, Number Eleven, and I don’t tolerate bullies. You will be punished for your actions, and this will continue until you learn.”

  She hangs her head, her jaw tight.

  “George,” I growl, and George appears in my view, his arms crossed.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Number Eleven is to be treated the same way she treated one of her own. Take her to the basement, and give her twenty lashings. She will then proceed to do as Number Thirteen commands for the next week. If she disobeys Number Thirteen, she will be punished far worse.”

  Number Eleven snaps her head up. “I’m not listening to that bitch.”

  “Make that thirty lashings,” I say, not looking at her.

  “You’re a bastard!” she screams.

  I spin to her, storming forward and wrapping my hand around her shoulder. “I will continue with these punishments, doing whatever I have to, until you learn that it is not your place, nor will it ever be your place to lay your hands on another person. Especially a person who has done nothing at all to deserve it. That is the act of a coward.”

  She jerks her body from mine, and glares at the floor again.

  “Number One didn’t hit Number Thirteen, so she will receive only ten lashings for being present. She may come back up, but she will take all the kitchen duties tonight as well as the washing. Give the girls a night off.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  I turn and walk away. When I reach the door, I turn to face the girls. “You will learn that nothing gets past me in this house, and if you wish to remain in it, instead of in the lives you were in before this, then you will obey my every command until such time that you can create your own lives. I am all you have right now; do not forget that.”

  ~*~*~*~

  NUMBER THIRTEEN

  “Please let me go,” I scream squirming as his fingers run down my thighs. “She’s out there alone, please.”

  “Hush, we don’t have long before your momma is home.”

  “Lanthie!” I scream from under him. “Lanthie!”

  I can’t hear her. I can’t hear anything, not for the longest moment. All I can hear is his panting as he tries to rub himself against me, letting him get that little bit further than last time. Vomit rises in my throat, but it’s mostly from panic. My baby sister is out there alone, on the patio...the patio with a balcony that she is always climbing.

  “Lanthie!” I cry again.

  “Shut up, puta,” he hisses, slapping my face so hard I scream. Tears leak out of my eyes as he presses his hand over my mouth while his other hand yanks my hair, causing my head to burn.

  Then I hear it.

  And I’ll never forget the sound.

  My baby sister’s tiny cry that grows more distant until it suddenly stops. Then I hear screaming, all of them, screaming to call 911.

  I wake up screaming, clutching at my blankets as the dream assaults me. I throw myself out of bed, disorientated. I run towards nothing, slamming into a wall, which quickly propels me backwards until I land on the floor with a thump. Blue eyes, blond hair, and a smile that lit up the room. Lanthie. My baby sister. The baby sister who died because of me.

  My screams turn ragged, and I claw at the floor, shaking my head from side to side as my mind spins with the remembrance of my life before this. The light flicks on, and suddenly I’m being scooped into a set of strong, hard arms. William. He carries me down the hall quickly, urgently, until he reaches his room, then he places me down, kneeling in front of me.

  “Hush, Beauty. What is wrong?”

  “Lanthie,” I sob, “I killed her. It’s all my fault. It’s my fault. I didn’t fight hard enough. I didn’t stop him.”

  “No,” he rasps, pulling me into his arms and rocking me backwards and forwards.

  “She was just a little girl,” I wail, feeling my teeth clatter together as I inch closer towards a compl
ete meltdown.

  “It wasn’t your fault. You were just a girl too.”

  “She was just a baby,” I scream, pummeling my tiny fists into his chest.

  “Shhh,” he soothes, holding me tighter, squeezing the air out of my lungs.

  “She’s d-d-d-dead, because of me.”

  “No,” he murmurs again. “She’s dead because you had a careless mother. She’s dead because you had a monster in your lives. She lived that long because of you, Emelyn. Because you protected her.”

  “How could I have forgotten her, William?” I whimper. “Even for just a second.”

  “You never forgot her, sweetheart. You just put her in a safe place for a while.”

  Tears leak from my eyes as I clench them shut. “Take me to her. Promise me you will take me to her.”

  “I promise,” he murmurs into my ear.

  “Are the rest of my memories going to hurt like this?”

  He doesn’t answer me for a long while. When he does, his voice is soft. “Nothing can hurt more than losing the only thing you’ve ever fought for.”

  I press myself closer into him, hearing his heart ponding into my ear.

  He’s right.

  Nothing can hurt more than that.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  NUMBER THIRTEEN

  Remembering Lanthie hasn’t gotten easier as each day goes by, but I am learning to breathe through the pain. I know the guilt that swarms me won’t go away easily, but William soothes it. He eases my pain. He makes it better. Easier. Each time he runs his fingers over my body, each time he kisses me, each time he makes love to me, he makes it hurt a little less. He’s giving me a reason to save myself.

  Number Eleven has been my “slave” for the past few days, and it hasn’t been easy. I don’t want to tell her what to do, I don’t want to bring that kind of shame to her, but William gave me no choice. I’ve just had her help me out, and slowly she’s stopped glaring at me like she wants to beat me. It’s kind of strange, but I think it’s helped build our relationship.

  “It’s movie time,” Number Seven smiles, coming into the bedroom her usual evening swim.

  My stomach twists with joy and my body becomes excited. I enjoy movie night, and I enjoy the feelings that come with it.

  “I can’t wait,” I beam.

  “The girls are arguing over the movie we’ll watch, I’m voting Top Gun, but they’re going with A Walk To Remember.”

  “Ugh,” I say, scrunching up my nose. “We’ve done A Walk To Remember, I don’t want to watch it again. It makes me cry.”

  “Same,” she says, dropping her towel in the bathroom and changing.

  The girls are getting better as each day goes by. We spend time interacting, talking about life in general and hanging out. There is a bond growing between all of us, even though things have been a little tough. William is interacting more with us, and we’re all coming along in ways I never thought possible. I never thought he would be the reason we began to breathe easier.

  “Well, let’s get cracking, they’ve got the popcorn already.”

  My stomach grumbles and I get to my feet, following her out and down the halls. When we get into the large lounge room, the girls have just pressed play on Top Gun. I sigh in relief and go and sit beside Number Twelve. She gives me a small smile, and throws me a toss pillow to put on my lap. I snuggle in and feel myself smiling as the movie begins.

  “Tom Cruise is so hot,” Number Two sighs.

  I wrinkle my nose. “In this movie he is, I’m not so sure about any others.”

  She giggles. “He has that look, you know...”

  “What look?”

  “The ‘you either like him or hate him’ look.”

  I nod. “That’s true. I’m on the fence.”

  She laughs and takes a handful of popcorn. She passes me the bowl and I take a handful of my own before passing it along.

  “Top Gun?”

  We all hear William’s voice and turn to see him leaning against the doorframe, staring at us. He’s wearing a pair of light grey exercise pants and a tight black t-shirt that sticks to his chest in a way that defines all his muscles. His long, thick hair is tied at the nap of his neck, showing us the perfection of his jawline.

  “Join us?” Number Four asks, her eyes hopeful.

  “Oh, no, I was just passing through,” he says, waving his hand.

  “Please, Master William?” Number Nine begs.

  “William,” he corrects her.

  He meets my gaze and I flush, but I give him the best hopeful expression I can muster. A small grin tugs at his lips, and he sighs. “I suppose my plans can wait.”

  The girls all giggle as he walks in and pops himself between Number Twelve and me. He leans back, and then reaches across taking a handful of popcorn.

  “I used to love this movie,” he says.

  “Used to?” Number Ten asks.

  He chuckles. “I still do, it’s just been a while.”

  The girls all seem to settle in his presence, and I can’t help but smile as his hand slides across and clutches mine, pulling it into his lap. Number Twelve looks down at it, but she doesn’t say anything.

  It’s just nice to have him here, and no one is going to ruin that.

  ~*~*~*~

  NUMBER THIRTEEN

  I pull the blade down over my skin, wanting it all to end. All I can see is Lanthie’s face the last time I saw her. She was smiling; her beautiful blonde curls bouncing around her tiny frame. She was so innocent, so free. I press the blade down harder, until blood comes pouring out. It’s the only way to ease the pain.

  I can’t go on seeing her face each night when I sleep.

  It’s destroying me.

  I close my eyes and curl into a ball. Blood pools around my face where my hands are laying, and I feel the burning ache in my wrists beginning to ease as my body becomes light and my mind begins to shut down. This is the best way; it’s the only way. No one can hurt me if I’m not here.

  “Emelyn!”

  I hear my mother’s voice, but I don’t cry out or call to her. She will try to save me, try to say it’s her fault and not mine. She’s wrong; it’s my fault. I should have fought harder, should have tried to beat him. She can’t save me now.

  I don’t want to be saved.

  I wake up with tears in my eyes; my body is covered in a fine layer of sweat. The dreams aren’t getting easier as the days go on. The more I sleep, the more I remember. I don’t want to remember, I’m tired of re-living a past that will only haunt everything I do for the rest of my life. That’s not how I want to live now, William is teaching me that.

  I throw my legs out of the bed, deciding to go to him. Sometimes, during the night, he lets me curl up beside him and fall asleep. I’ve begun to crave that comfort. I tiptoe out into the hall and turn to the left, heading towards William’s room. I round a corner when I see him with Number Ten. She’s sobbing, and his hand is resting on her shoulder. I stop and step back, listening as he speaks to her.

  “Your past does not define you, Number Ten. Only you can choose what makes you you. He cannot hurt you here, nobody can.”

  “I feel so dirty,” she sobs. “It doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t wash the memories away.”

  “But you can be stronger than them,” he urges.

  “I don’t know how, William.”

  “With strength, with belief, with trust. You will learn to accept what happened in your past, and you will learn to fight past it to make yourself a better person. That girl, she’s not you anymore.”

  “Thank you,” she murmurs, lifting her tear soaked face to look up at him.

  He strokes her cheek. “I am here to support all of you, if you give me your trust, I will not let you down.”

  My chest swells with an emotion so intense, my throat becomes tight. He’s helping her believe that she’s more than what her past made her. He’s teaching her that she’s strong enough to beat it. I adore him for that. He turns and
sees me standing in the hall, and his eyes soften.

  “Number Thirteen,” he says, quietly. “Are you ok?”

  “I just...I had a bad dream and I was taking a walk.”

  He smiles. “You know, Number Ten had a bad dream, too. Maybe you girls would like to join me on the balcony for some tea?”

  I adore him even more right then.

  “I like that idea,” I smile.

  “Me too,” Number Ten whispers, smiling weakly at me.

  William walks over, taking my hand and running his thumb over my palm. He stares at me, giving me a deep, long look. Then he turns and offers a hand to Number Ten. She takes it wearily and together we walk out onto the balcony for some tea.

  He’s making it all better, one step at a time.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  NUMBER THIRTEEN

  “Master William is out today, but you’re more than welcome to enjoy the day with the other girls,” Bill says as we walk down the halls a few days after William and I spent the night chatting on the balcony with Number Ten.

  “Thank you.” I smile weakly. “I’ll do that.”

  I had a long, horrible night and my emotions feel shot. I keep dreaming of Lanthie, and while each day I learn to accept it more, I still struggle to deal with what happened. Today, I just don’t feel like talking with anyone. I just want to be alone, so I go to the only place I know I can have my peace – the library. William and I spend a great deal of time together in the big, warm space. It’s our space. The only place where we can just be William and Emelyn. He tells me about his life and in there, he smiles for me. Real smiles. Striking smiles. Smiles that transform his face.

  When I reach the library I step inside, only to come to a skidding stop. Benjamin is sitting on the couch, reading a book, one long leg crossed over the other. His messy hair is curling around his ears and he’s wearing workout clothes; a sweatshirt, pants that do really great things to his legs, and sneakers. He hears me shuffle as I try to sneak back out, and he lifts his head.

  “Emelyn.” He smiles, big and bright. He always seems happy to see me. I’m not really sure why, we don’t really know each other, but his face lights up when I’m in the room.