How To Fall In Love

by Bella Jewel

  NUMBER THIRTEEN

  Seeing him, seeing his face, it breaks my heart. Tears tumble down my cheeks as I let go of Jaybelle’s hand, and I walk on shaky legs towards William. When I reach him, his finger slides out and he runs it down my cheek. Like he believes I’m not real. His eyes are glassy and his hand is trembling slightly. I reach up, cupping his cheeks and making a strangled, sobbing sound.

  “You came back?” he rasps.

  “How could you ever think we wouldn’t?”

  He shakes his head, and brings my face closer to his, pressing his lips over mine. I kiss him long and hard, feeling my world coming together. The last four weeks, they have felt empty, like there’s nothing out there for us. Our worlds are here. With him. He pulls away and looks down at me, giving me that expression that’s so incredibly powerful.

  “You told me you loved me once, Emelyn,” he begins his voice soft. “I didn’t tell you anything back. I spent my time pushing you away, telling you a lover was all I needed. I thought it was, until the day you were ripped from my life, and I realized that I’d spent so long teaching you to be a kind, and loyal person, but I forgot to teach myself. You taught me that. Even through all your pain, you taught me how to live again. You made me what I am, Emelyn, and you showed me what a good person really is.”

  I sob loudly, and my fingers curl into his shirt.

  “A good man isn’t a controlling one, it’s an understanding one. A good man isn’t the one who has a lover, it’s the one who loves. A good man isn’t the one who punishes, it’s the one who explains. I wasn’t a good man; I was just a man. Now I’m everything a good person should be because of you.” He lifts his head, staring at the girls. “And them.”

  I turn to the girls, smiling through my tears. William steps down, staring at them all, his face full of pride when I let my eyes travel over it.

  “You all had a hard life before me. You all came from such lonely places. I don’t know that I gave you everything I could, but I know you gave me everything you are. My life is incomplete without all of you in it, so I’m telling, no, I’m asking you to be a part of this with me.”

  The girls all step forward, their hands clasped, their eyes relieved and full of appreciation for the man in front of them. Slowly, they all lower themselves until they’re on their knees. William makes a strangled sound because he knows as well as I do that these girls are giving themselves over to him. They’re putting their lives back in his hands.

  They’re letting him be their somebody.

  I turn to him, and he strokes a finger over my cheek. “I never said it, but I’m saying it now. I love you, Emelyn. I will give you everything I am.”

  I stare at the damaged, beautiful man in front of me, and I know he’s finally healed. Not just from the trauma he’s endured in his life, but from the pain he carries in his heart. I let go of his hand with a smile, and I walk back to the girls, slowly lowering myself to my knees—giving him the final piece of me.

  I started off as Emelyn, the girl who lived with guilt and pain because of the life she lived. I am no longer that girl. I am no longer the one who has to fight to breathe each day. I am no longer the one who has a broken future and an empty heart. No, I am the girl who belongs to William. I am the girl who has become something out of nothing. I am the girl who changed the way her life was meant to go.

  I’m no longer Emelyn. I stopped being Emelyn the day William took me into his life. I stopped being Emelyn the day I let him into my heart. I stopped being Emelyn the day my world was stolen from me. No, that girl isn’t me anymore. That girl died a long time ago with the demons of her past.

  From this day forward, I am the only thing I have fought for. I am mine. I am his.

  I am Number Thirteen.

  THE END