[Colorblind 01.0] Black Keys

by Rose B Mashal

  Huh!

  “Why have I never heard it before?”

  “Our wing has soundproof walls. Nobody can hear anything from the outside of it or from the inside, only between rooms and when a window is open.”

  I nodded my understanding, then stood still as I listened to the sound of it; it was surprisingly nice, peaceful and strong. What I felt was curiosity mixed with hints of that feeling you get when you learn about a new thing–you’re silent as you take things in and observe and then you’re wondering about new questions you never knew you would ask at all.

  The prince was looking at me all the while I listened to it with a small smile on his lips, and when the call to the prayer was finished, I gasped again at the sight of a huge guy in a uniform nearing us as we stood on the roof.

  Fright hit me hard, I felt it in my stomach before it made its way to my chest, as I watched the guy as he took one step after another toward us, a big gun in his hands just to add to the mix of his thick, black beard and scary, hard features.

  “Hey, it’s okay, he’s just one of the guards,” the prince’s voice was nearer to me than before. The arm that he threw around me with his hand holding the space between my shoulder and elbow, and the squeeze he gave it, blew a wave of security and safety right into me and reached my every sense as he hugged me close to his body.

  The guard said some words in Arabic that sounded like a greeting and nodded his head once to the prince then to me without making any eye contact with me.

  “If you’ll excuse me for not using English right now, Princess, I promise to translate later,” the prince asked and I nodded quickly a few times.

  Their conversation went on for only a minute. All the while the prince was holding me to him in reassurance rather than protection, since there was no harmful threat anywhere close. It was all in my head, and I knew in my heart that the prince wouldn’t let him hurt me if it ever came to that. He’d promised.

  The guard didn’t glance my way even once, completely ignoring me. His head was bent down all the while he talked to the prince except for a few times that he looked him in the eye. I despised the fact that it was surely because they weren’t allowed to look at any of the royal family in the eye or with such humbleness, because that huge guy looked like a slave to me, with no power whatsoever, just by the pose he was taking as he stood in front of the prince.

  When the guard was dismissed, he left with another nod to the prince and a nod to me, and then the prince explained that he was changing shifts with another guard and was only checking if everything was okay or if we needed something.

  When it got dark, it was our cue to go back to the wing, because despite the lights that lit up the whole place, there were mosquitoes up there which I definitely didn’t want to be friends with or get to know any better–because if they were in any way related to the ones in New York, then I was better off away from them.

  Once we got back, the prince went to offer his prayer in one of the rooms and I followed him. I watched him pray once again and I still felt the same as I’d felt the first time I saw him praying yesterday.

  I didn’t know if it was the form of the prayer itself that pulled me to it, or the fact that he was the one who was praying. I only knew that I was so touched, still, by the fact that this commanding man, who made strong, huge men stand still in respect and obey, could be that humble and touch his head to the floor in front of God and for God.

  I found myself yet again closing my eyes and saying my first prayer while holding a cross that was made of diamonds and hearts. Maybe in a different language, maybe with a different religion, maybe in a different prayer, but it was for the same God. And I couldn’t love that moment more.

  That night as we sat in the living room, the prince taught me more about the secret doors and the alleys. It wasn’t so hard to understand with the technique he’d been using to teach me, but I still felt the need to learn it over and over again, and the prince didn’t hesitate at all to reply to each of my questions or any of my wondering. When we were finished with the day’s lesson, he burned the paper he was using to show me the directions. The feel of him sharing something that important and secretive with me almost made me dizzy with the war of emotions that consumed me.

  For a brief second, I wondered if someday soon I’d be using the information for my escape, but my thoughts were interrupted by Mona informing us of Princess Janna’s presence and her request to meet with the prince and me.

  “I’m not sure I’m following,” the prince said. “Come again, Janna?”

  I looked from the prince to Janna, a frown on my face, waiting for her to obey the prince’s request. I was grateful that he’d asked it at all since I wasn’t following myself or understanding what exactly she wanted.

  Janna emptied her lungs in a short sigh that sounded more like a huff. I didn’t know if the prince noticed or not, but she looked exhausted, drained even. Her puffy eyes were bloodshot, and her face was paler than normal. She was smiling, cheerful as ever. All relaxed and appearing whole...but she really wasn’t. I could tell she was not well, not at all. Not only emotionally, but physically as well.

  Had she slept at all? Had she eaten anything? …Had she stopped crying since yesterday? The questions roamed around my head. Wondering why, if she looked so tired, so sad and just plain depressed, why would she pretend to be happy? Why was she acting as if she was fine and life was rosy and pink? I had no clue. And the thing I was wondering about the most was if she’d spoken to Joseph at all or if they’d already made up.

  I doubted it, though. Because it simply didn’t look like it.

  I figured that if I was noticing all of this–her face that she was hiding with thick makeup, that although covering some of her sadness, still did so little to cover her pain–the prince was probably seeing it, too. Not due to the fact that he was a doctor or anything like that, but the fact that he was her brother. The caring and loving brother I knew he was.

  “I want to take Princess Marie to meet Princess Rosanna.”

  Um…Rosanna?

  “Aha! And why is that?” the prince asked.

  “It’s just that Princess Rosanna missed the wedding, as you know, and she wanted to meet Princess Marie to wish her a happy marriage and to give her a wedding gift,” Janna explained.

  “Hmm…” her brother replied, his gaze moving away from her and to somewhere above her shoulder. He looked as if he was considering her request, filling the room with silence as I kept glancing between the two of them. The prince kept thinking, not looking my way, and Janna only smiled softly when our eyes met. Said smile failed to reach those thickly kohl-lined eyes of hers, though.

  “Princess Rosanna who?” I had to ask.

  “She’s our cousin and sister-in-law, Prince Fahd’s wife.”

  Huh!

  “It’s kind of you both to think of that,” the prince replied. “But you know the seven-day rule; we wouldn’t want to upset our mother by breaking more rules.”

  “It won’t be a problem; I already got the queen’s permission,” Janna replied.

  “You did?” he sounded surprised.

  Her answer was a smiling nod.

  “I see,” the prince said. “Well, I don’t mind, but it’s up to the princess,” he turned to look at me. “Would that be something you’d like to do?”

  I didn’t reply right away. To be honest, I didn’t know if it was something I wanted to do or was okay with. I didn’t know the princess in question. I didn’t know if she was nice or if she would be like the queen or whatever. But then again, it sounded like she was nice enough to ask to see me so that she could give me my wedding gift.

  Or just wants you there to humiliate you, a voice in my head suggested. I shrugged it off at Janna’s pleading look and replied, “Yeah, sure, why not?” and something told me that the prince wasn’t really that happy about me going away.

  “Yay!” Janna squealed half-heartedly and said that Princess Rosanna would be very happy to see me.


  I just smiled, and didn’t say anything.

  “Mona,” Janna called, bringing Mona to the living room where we were seated within two seconds from the moment she’d said her name.

  “Yes, Princess Janna?” Mona replied.

  “Please, prepare Princess Marie the brown blouse with roses on the bottom, and blue jeans,” she said, and Mona frowned.

  “Um, brown?” she asked.

  “Yes, Mona, brown. Don’t you know where it is?” Janna asked with a frown of her own.

  “Uh, I’m sure I can find it, Princess. I’ll be right back,” Mona said and disappeared through one of the secret doors.

  “I hope you don’t mind me picking something for you to wear, Marie.”

  “Um, no. It’s alright. You picked out all of my clothes anyway, right?” I smiled, and she returned it with a small one.

  “Janna,” the prince got her attention with a call of her name, “How are you feeling today?”

  “I’m okay,” was her instant reply, but she didn’t sound or look like it.

  The prince nodded slowly, he was not very convinced by her reply either. I could tell.

  “I still need to see you before you have to leave,” he told her.

  The prince and his sister held each other’s gaze for a moment too long, before Janna nodded with yet another fake smile and a, “Yes, of course.”

  Before I could wonder what that was all about, Mona chose that moment to come back, looking frustrated and not very happy, more likely annoyed, even.

  “I apologize, Princess Janna, but I can’t find any brown blouse with roses on the bottom,” she said.

  Janna sighed dramatically–which made me frown–and got up. “I’ll have to get it myself, then. C’mon Marie,” she said and walked to the secret door Mona had just come from before I could reply.

  When I looked at the prince, he just smiled a small smile and shrugged as if telling me silently ‘That’s Janna for you,’ and the look in his eyes made me smile with my own. I then got up and followed them into the closet.

  Inside, Janna went for a line of shirts and blouses, picking up one with short sleeves and roses at the bottom, just like she’d described. But it was actually dark red, not brown.

  I thought it was strange, I couldn’t understand how Janna would confuse dark red with brown. I mean, it was pretty obvious that Janna had a very keen sense when it came to fashion–everything around me was huge proof of that: the furniture, the decorations, all of the clothes. It was really confusing how could she confuse the colors.

  “Um, that’s not brown, Princess,” Mona commented.

  “Ah! Yeah, my mistake, I guess it slipped my mind,” Janna said, shrugging, and Mona just smiled. “What do you think, Marie? Do you like it?”

  “Yeah, it’s nice. Thanks,” I replied, and at my answer Mona reached for the blouse to take it from Janna’s hand, but Janna moved it out of her reach, objecting.

  “I’ll help Princess Marie dress, why don’t you go bring us something to drink, please?”

  “Yes, of course. Anything you’d prefer, Princesses?”

  “Anything would be fine, thank you,” I said.

  “Surprise us,” Janna grinned, despite the sadness that I could easily see in her eyes.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Once Mona had left the closet, Janna’s face cleared of any grin or smile; she turned from her cheerful mood into a serious one in the blink of an eye. The next thing I knew she was pulling me by the hand to the furthest corner of the closet and then standing in front of me, as close as she could get.

  “Marie, listen to me carefully,” she started and for some reason, my heart started thumping rapidly in my chest just hearing those five words, “We won’t be going to see Rosanna. I’ve prepared everything for you to get you to the US by morning.”

  Her words took a second to settle in. My mind couldn’t comprehend it right away. But then, when I finally did understand her words, I couldn’t help the joy and the relief that consumed my heart at the sound of them.

  “Oh, my God!” I gushed. “Are you serious?”

  “Shhhh!” Janna hushed me, looking behind her where the closed door was. “Yes, I’m serious, if everything goes as planned, you’ll be on the jet that will get you to the States within two hours. If not–” she paused, “I don’t even want to think about it.”

  Huh!

  “Two hours from now? That soon?” It was really beyond my expectations that Janna would find me the way out, just twenty-four hours after I’d told her I craved one. I thought it’d take months or at least weeks, but one day? Yes, I wasn’t hardly able to believe it myself, as all of the relief and excitement to be back in my own country again filled my heart and mind.

  “Today is the perfect day. I’ve planned everything, don’t worry about it,” she assured me. “You’re getting on the jet that’s supposed to take me to the US. You’ll be wearing a niqab–” at the frown on my face she explained, “A face cover.” Oh! “So anyone who sees you will think you are me. We just need to be very smart about everything we do starting now, and a hell lot of luck.”

  Head spinning and heartbeats speeding up. “I’ll go back to my country?” Disbelief laced my voice.

  “Yes, Marie, you will,” Janna smiled reassuringly, her eyes gray with all of the troubles that were filling them. She reached for my hand, squeezing it, as if to emphasize the security her words wanted me to feel.

  I nodded, paused for a second or two while looking at the floor, and when I looked up at her again, I had to ask, “What about Joseph?”

  Her smile was gone the second his name left my mouth, and her eyes shone with what I knew to be unshed tears–it was such a sad sight to watch. “Yoseph made it to New York hours ago, Marie,” she replied.

  My throat tightened and I had to swallow a few times. “He did?” came my whispered question.

  He left?

  He left me?

  “Yes, he did. He went in your private jet. I was supposed to go with him, but I told him I needed a day by myself and that I’d be right behind him. It wasn’t an easy task–my step-mother and all–but...I managed.”

  He left…

  That jet was still in the airport for me. It was supposed to take me back home three days after the wedding like I had planned from the start. I wanted to correct her, but I couldn’t find the heart to do so. My heart was too hurt by the fact that my brother actually did leave me in the kingdom, despite everything.

  I slowly nodded, finding it unnecessary to keep obsessing over the broken, hurt side. It wouldn’t be right to dwell on the fact that my brother was a complete jerk now. It was not wise. I had far more important things to think about. Things that needed my full attention and needed it now.

  “Okay,” I said, more quietly than I would’ve liked. “I guess I have to dress quickly.”

  “Yes,” Janna said. “But I need you to stay calm. Don’t let anyone sense that something is going on. You’ll have to contain yourself very well in front of Mazen: he’s too smart and will notice if anything seems off.”

  Mazen…

  The tightening in my throat got a companion in the ache in my heart when I heard his name. The realization of what would happen when I leave the kingdom–the fact that I’d be leaving him as well–hit me hard on the chest and started hurting everywhere I could ever feel the hurt.

  Maybe my thoughts had affected my looks, maybe my face changed, or my expression told of the worry and odd feelings that decided to visit me when I was finally aware that I’d be leaving the prince for good in just a short time, possibly a little over an hour, because Janna asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

  I had to be okay. Of course I was okay. I was finally getting what I had wanted more than anything over the past few days. I was finally getting my freedom. Of course I was okay. So, I told her just that, “Yes. Yes, of course.”

  Once again, Mona chose that moment to come in with two glasses of juice on a small tray in her h
ands, then she asked where we would like to drink them. Janna said she needed to go to ask her maid to bring her something I could wear over my clothes, and without further explanation, she was gone.

  “Are you okay, Princess?” Mona asked, setting the tray on one of the three small tables that were placed in the corner I was standing near.

  “Um, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

  “You seem a little distant,” she said. “Is there anything you’d like for me to do or get for you?”

  “No, no, I’m fine. I just need to get dressed.” I thought that if Mona was able to tell that something was off with me so easily, the prince would be able to tell even easier, and that wouldn’t be good. I had to get it together.

  The prince…

  The thought of getting out of here was more pleasant than I could ever say. Something I’d wanted from the very same second I’d stepped foot in this kingdom. Heck, I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. But now, thinking about what I’d be leaving behind–or to be clearer, who I was leaving behind–the thought just wasn’t as great as I’d thought it would be. Which was disgustingly crazy. I was being crazy. I knew I was.

  Mona helped me out of the yellow dress, that I’d only worn to meet with Janna since ‘it wasn’t appropriate to meet her in the pajamas I’d been wearing,’ Mona had said, and then into the jeans and the dark red blouse.

  When she brought me the shoes, I didn’t want to wear them, not after what had happened last night with the sandals I was wearing, and not after knowing that I’d be in a situation soon where broken stuff wouldn’t be much of a help. No matter that the shoes were designed to be worn inside or outside or how expensive they were, I just didn’t trust them anymore. I wanted my own.

  “Do you happen to have the heels I wore on the night of the wedding?” I asked Mona.

  “The silver ones?” she asked and I nodded. “Yes, do you want me to get them?”

  “Yes, please,” I said, and it took her only two minutes to come back to me with the heels in her hands. I decided to wear them once I was finished with my hair, so I walked barefoot to one of the two dressers that were placed in the middle of the closet.