Vortena

by Neven Iliev

  [Your actions have altered the flows of chaos.]

  Boxxy bolted upright at the new notification, scanning its surroundings warily. Its body was still a bit wobbly, but it nevertheless forced itself to be ready for anything. And something did indeed happen. Not to it, or any of its familiars, but to the lich. The bright red gem embedded in the valley of Valeria’s breasts gradually turned from red to yellow. The crimson glow of her dot-like pupils also shifted into a distinctly more golden hue, making them seem almost like miniature suns floating through a pitch-black sky.

  … Was this a good or bad thing? The Mimic desperately wanted to know, but it had no idea.

  This was, after all, the first time its Agent of Chaos Skill had been triggered.

  [General Information]

  Valeria Vortena

  Lich (Greater), Female, 2 months old

  Level 25.00 Banshee (MAX)

  Level 41.87 Lich

  863/1018 HP (+0.0/sec)

  2045/2045 MP (+1.8/sec)

  [Attributes]

  STR 8, DEX 6, AGI 18, END 202, INT 409, WIS 188, MNT 61, FTH -124, PER 21

  [Banshee Skills]

  Sonic Scream – Lvl 6.74

  Mind Invader – Lvl 3.16

  Detect Life – Lvl 5.43

  Possession – Lvl 6.14

  [Lich Skills]

  Necromancy – Lvl 10.00 (MAX)

  Lord of the Dead – Lvl 8.84

  Hexcraft – Lvl 6.34

  Physical Nullity – Lvl 4.05

  Life Drain – Lvl 5.93

  Permafrost Aptitude – Lvl 4.63

  Anti-Magic Shell – Lvl 2.51

  [Other Skills]

  Ethereal Body – Lvl 6.77

  Blight-Spawn – Lvl 3.15

  Taboo – Lvl 5.69

  Domination Mastery – Lvl 2.43

  Permafrost Mastery – Lvl 3.77

  Part Two

  The Mimic and its posse were headed northwest through the mountainous wilderness while staying away from the Imperial highway. After some consideration, Boxxy had decided to leave the Empire’s territory behind for good. It simply didn’t feel safe being in the same country as the man called Edward, although one could argue that, given the Spymaster’s prowess, nowhere was truly beyond his reach.

  Another reason for its decision, though not immediately apparent, was the monster’s desire to blend into civilised society. It would be difficult, true, but it would present the creature with numerous delicious opportunities to amass information, strength and wealth. The rewards were most definitely worth the risks, especially considering that someone was now actively hunting it. This time around, however, Boxxy planned to be far more cautious. It had made quite a few mistakes during its stay in Erosa, and as a result it had learned a great deal.

  First of all, its chest-shaped body posed a significant problem. It had managed to get away with it somewhat by concealing itself in baggy clothing, but its towering figure simply stood out too much. That said, being easily recognisable was not without its benefits. The Mimic had learned the advantages of having a reputation when the dwarf called Grog had given it a few additional funds just before its capture. The problem was that the only humanoid form it could take was much too intimidating, which made people suspicious. And if the Mimic’s instincts had taught it anything, it was that suspicious prey was a pain in the lid.

  Therefore, since it currently lacked any other viable disguise options, it needed to Rank Up into something that could more freely change its form. Although it had some reservations about abandoning its square shell, it was hard to deny that ‘treasure chest’ was a poor choice of disguise outside of dungeons or warehouses. Besides, if it had the ability to freely change its shape, then there was nothing stopping it from reverting back to a chest if it ever felt uncomfortable. Just because it could be anything didn’t mean that it had to be something different, after all.

  The second order of business was evading Appraisal, though that was no longer an issue now that it had become a Hero. The Essence Concealment Skill would likely prove to be quite tasty once it got the hang of it. Things like name, race and age could be chosen freely, but Jobs and Skills were a different story. Just as the ability’s name implied, it could only hide the more practical parts of the Mimic’s Status. It was impossible to show things Boxxy did not possess, meaning that there was no way to make the monster appear stronger than it was. While it certainly would’ve preferred to have that option, the Skill’s ability to obscure its true nature was already more than enough.

  Said main function was also surprisingly easy to use. After substituting its race, gender and age labels with less conspicuous identifiers, all that was left was to set its Mimic Job to ‘hidden.’ Doing so would automatically hide all related Skills and even adjust its Attributes, HP and MP accordingly. This conveniently allowed it to conceal the rather substantial gains it had received from Cadaver Absorption.

  Perks could be hidden as well, which was equally important. While Boxxy wasn’t absolutely certain, it could hazard a guess that having Butcher of Humanity on its fake Status was not a good idea. It was definite proof that the creature had killed at least five thousand people, which, as Snack pointed out, was not the sort of body count a respectable member of society would have.

  However, simply concealing the Perk’s existence would do little to solve the biggest problem it had encountered when blending in – the humans’ instinctive fear of it. Based on its experiences in Erosa, and what it had overheard from Edward, Boxxy had deduced that it was Butcher of Humanity that had caused such unfavorable reactions. Or rather, there didn’t seem to be any other explanation for why humans – and only humans – would react so negatively towards its disguise. Subconsciously broadcasting the fact that it viewed them as nothing more than sources of food and Levels was useful in a fight, but far less so if it wanted to interact with them in a nonviolent manner. It might have been possible to offset that particular side effect, but for the moment it seemed that Boxxy could never truly blend into human society.

  Which was precisely why it was headed north, towards the Ishigar Republic. Judging from what it had heard about it during its stay in Erosa, it was an elf-run nation where humans were the minority. It wasn’t ideal, but it was an infinitely better option than lingering in the Lodrak Empire, even without the looming threat of the Spymaster.

  Then there was perhaps the most difficult hurdle it had to clear – learning to interact with people. Short, awkward words and nodding had worked in seedy places like the Mercenary Guild but were generally insufficient when dealing with people in the long term. It had made some steps towards learning proper conversation, but its facial expressions were abysmal, at least according to Snack.

  It really couldn’t help it, though. Mimics were born without faces, so it was only natural that Boxxy would have trouble controlling such a complicated and delicate set of muscles. Any face it created tended to twist into a goofy grin whenever it wasn’t feeling angry or hungry. It had become something of an acquired reflex that the shapeshifter struggled to keep in check. And while one could certainly argue that constant smiling was hardly a bad thing, that clearly didn’t apply to the slightly mad grin that Boxxy’s faces usually settled into.

  The expression was off-putting enough on its own, but downright creepy when used by a two-metre-tall, barrel-chested man in dark and baggy clothing. The sight had been so bizarre and unsettling that even non-humans had given ‘Mister Morningwood’ a wide berth when it had first tried it. Hence, it had always worn a face wrap that concealed all of its features aside from its gleaming eyes. As odd as it seemed, wearing a mask whenever it had gone out in public had been the least conspicuous option by far.

  Last, but not least, Boxxy had to learn to read. Spoken language wasn’t a problem thanks to the frequent telepathic communication it had with various demonic entities, whether it was Carl or one of its familiars. Exchanging thoughts allowed it to not only ‘hear’ the words, but also comprehend their meaning.
Numbers were also easy enough to understand since basic arithmetic seemed to come naturally with INT and WIS growth. However, reading letters was an entirely different matter. Words were far more fluid and less strictly defined than mathematics, meaning there was simply no quick and easy way to learn the quirks and rules of written language.

  And so, after thoroughly thinking matters through, the Mimic had compiled a short mental list of what it needed to accomplish, which at present looked something like this:

  1. Rank Up.

  2. Learn to read.

  3. Learn to act.

  4. Move to elven country.

  5. ????

  6. PROFIT!!!!

  Boxxy was quite proud of its well thought-out and obviously foolproof plan. Surely nothing but good things could come from such a masterful design. Okay, admittedly it was a work in progress that still had a few kinks to be ironed out, but it was nevertheless a fairly solid plan, in its opinion.

  “Boxxy!”

  A cheerful, oddly melodic voice trilled affectionately, interrupting the Mimic’s silent plotting. It had to grow a head on its backside in order to answer, as the person that had called was not, as one might expect, its succubus familiar. Nor was it the gnome that had had the profound misfortune of getting involved with it.

  “What is it, Nasty?”

  The one that had raised her voice was none other than Valeria, though the Mimic had already nicknamed her in accordance with her foul flavour.

  Rather than being insulted, though, she actually seemed to enjoy the moniker, likely because she had misinterpreted as being ‘nasty in bed.’ This didn’t seem to be her only delusion, as she had been acting especially friendly ever since her red bits had turned yellow earlier. She always had a wide, demure smile on her face, and the once-intense look in her eyes was much softer, as was her tone of voice. Especially when talking to Boxxy. The way she floated about was also odd. She would lean forward constantly, presenting her sizeable breasts to the monster even though it clearly had no interest in such things. Plus, she had gotten into the habit of hovering, both figuratively and literally, in close proximity to the Mimic.

  Her lovestruck behavior was horribly mismatched with her new identity as an undead abomination, but the lich was definitely acting like she had developed a crush on Boxxy. Not that the Mimic had been able to deduce that on its own. It lacked the capacity to form or even understand emotional attachments like love or friendship, and would probably still be clueless as to why the undead woman was acting so clingy if it hadn’t consulted Snack on the matter.

  The trigger for the lich’s drastic and completely unnecessary shift in personality had undoubtedly been the ‘practice session’ a few hours ago. Or, more specifically, the infuriatingly cryptic Agent of Chaos Skill which had somehow activated itself afterwards. Granted, Nasty fawning over Boxxy could be a good thing in the long run, but it didn’t exactly appreciate the attention at the moment.

  “What are you thinking about?” her sickeningly sweet voice asked.

  “Planning,” it replied curtly.

  “Oh my!” she squealed. “Already making preparations for our marriage?!”

  “No.”

  It had no intention of attempting to understand or even acknowledge Valeria’s advances, let alone reciprocate. She truly was delusional if she thought her womanly charms could somehow entice or seduce the Mimic, which nobody understood better than Xera. Consequently, the succubus was still able to follow her beloved master happily without a single shred of jealousy towards the newbie. Rather than cause needless internal strife by butting in, she simply let the silly lich do as she pleased. Sparking competition between the two them would have been utterly pointless, anyway. The succubus was confident that her exquisite flavour was far more appealing to Boxxy than undead flesh conjured from dirt.

  Not to mention that Xera and Boxxy were already bound together by a contract far more powerful than something as silly as ‘marriage.’

  Kora, of course, was the same as always. She strolled idly in front of the group, keeping an eye out for trouble and not caring in the slightest what those horny bitches in the back were doing. From her perspective, the intense session earlier had been little more than a weirdly pleasant albeit slightly awkward memory. It was not something that she was particularly interested in repeating. She wasn’t so weak-willed as to be swayed by a single fuck, and still viewed the Mimic as nothing more a fun master and a fighter worthy of respect.

  As for Fizzy, she hadn’t recovered from her ordeal in the slightest. She obediently followed after Boxxy, but her soulless eyes and stiff movements were more like a mechanical doll’s than a person’s. She was still dealing with the indescribable trauma of being sexually assaulted by an uncaring creature that had already spent weeks beating and abusing her as it saw fit. She felt disgusted, violated and enraged, though she couldn’t let any of that show for fear that the beatings would resume.

  Part of her had started to outright hate Valeria for serving as the catalyst to that particular nightmare. Not to mention the way she was fawning over Boxxy, which was so sickening that it made the gnome want to smash her phylactery into tiny pieces, set them on fire, and take a literal shit on them. Not necessarily in that order. However, that obviously wasn’t an option given Boxxy’s intention to use the lich for its own gain. That was why the only thing she could do at the moment was try her best to ignore the repulsive heretic.

  “Aww, that’s a shame…” Valeria pouted. “Then what are you planning, honeybuns?”

  However, neither she nor the rest of the group were prepared for Boxxy’s answer.

  “Operation TASTYCOCK.”

  The entire party ground to a halt. Kora struggled valiantly not to laugh, while Xera’s face split into a malicious grin. Valeria and Fizzy could only stare blankly in stunned surprise.

  “Uh- Uhm… Th-th-that is,” stammered the lich, “what do you mean by tas… tasty cocks?”

  “Tasty And Shiny Things Yielded by Chesting Or Cheap Killing.”

  “Pfuahahaha! AH HAHAHAHAHA!”

  Kora roared with laughter as she clutched her stomach and fell to the ground. She reached up to high-five Xera, the prankster who was undoubtedly responsible for teaching Boxxy that obscene acronym. Relief washed over Fizzy as she saw their interaction and realised that it hadn’t said that because it was ‘in the mood.’ She wasn’t sure how her mind had jumped to that conclusion, but it had paralysed her so completely that she had literally forgotten to breathe.

  She then realised how ridiculous the notion had been. Though she was fuzzy on the details, she remembered reading that mimics were genderless monsters that lacked the ability to reproduce. The notion that such a being was even physically capable of sexual arousal was so crazy that the gnome felt incredibly foolish for even considering it. The awkward feeling, however, was immediately drowned by the ocean of negative thoughts swimming in her head.

  Meanwhile, Valeria seemed to have finally gotten the message that she was not desirable to Boxxy in the slightest, causing her shoulders to droop in morbid disappointment.

  Despite all this, the Mimic had interpreted their reactions as a generally positive response. It had spent nearly an hour discussing the matter with Snack before they had arrived at ‘Operation TASTYCOCK,’ so it was reassuring to see that the time spent hadn’t been a total waste. Though it wasn’t as if the name was all that the two of them had talked about. A good portion of the conversation had also been spent determining the optimal methods for completing the plan’s various objectives.

  For instance, learning to read, write, and interact with people were all things that it could learn from Snack. Though she appeared to have a one-track mind, the succubus was the smarter of the two familiars by far. She was also significantly more trustworthy than either Fizzy or Nasty since she could be ordered to speak only the truth. There would be plenty of time to learn from her as they travelled to the northern Republic, and if Boxxy’s acting skills weren’t quite up t
o snuff by the time they arrived…

  Well then, that simply meant that it would have to spend more time practising in the wilderness.

  However, their party wasn’t heading directly north. Their current heading was actually west-by-northwest. The detour had been deemed necessary in order to allow Boxxy to address the first and most vital part of its plan – achieving a Rank Up. Maxing out the Shapeshift Skill was something that it could do more or less anywhere, but it needed to challenge sufficiently powerful opponents if it was to get those last three Levels of its Mimic Job.

  Thankfully, according to Nasty, there happened to be a dungeon in this direction. She had allegedly gone inside by accident while searching for that old Arcaneum tower, before she had turned herself into a lich. Boxxy wondered how anyone could possibly confuse a tower with a dungeon, but it received its answer the instant they arrived.

  [You have entered the Spire of the Jade King.]

  The notification popped up just as a huge black tower came into view. The structure appeared roughly forty metres tall and half as wide, with a notable lack of windows or balconies. It was hard to tell from a distance, but the outside wall was so perfectly smooth that it looked to have been hewn from a single piece of black stone, rather than cobbled together from brick and mortar. At a second glance, the Spire looked less like a man-made structure and more like a gigantic rock sticking out of the ground. It was also surrounded on all sides by hundreds of metres’ worth of tall, dense hedges that formed a kind of complex maze.

  Boxxy quickly and quietly scouted the perimeter, confirming what Valeria had said regarding the residents of the tall green corridors. The place was filled with living stone statues that marched in strict formation as though they were some kind of military outfit. Their appearance was clearly modeled after someone’s vision of the ‘ideal’ human male and did not appear to be all that realistic. Their ripped abs, slim physiques, well-toned musculature, handsome faces and generously sized packages were so over-the-top that even Boxxy was finding it hard to take them seriously.