Six Bad Things

by Charlie Huston

  She holds her hands up like she’s about to deliver a dual karate chop. She’s a big hand-talker, Sandy is.

  —But! This one day I show up and everybody is there. All the delivery guys are in there, the ones I know and the ones I don’t know. Terry, the boss, he’s not even really a boss, he’s just a dealer who pays us a commission to make these deliveries, but we call him a boss. But Terry, he’s been making us all stay until everybody is there, except Tim. And that’s when he asks if anyone has seen him around. And it looked to me like Terry did it that way so he could watch everyone all together when he asked, to see if anyone looked at each other, like they maybe knew something they weren’t telling. But no one did. And that’s pretty much it.

  She peels her lips away from her teeth and grinds her molars.

  —Shit, T, this is serious stuff.

  I shake my head.

  —So, wait, but where’s Tim?

  —Hell if I know.

  —That’s, that’s all you?

  —For now. I tried to get ahold of Terry, you know, see if anything had popped up, but he ain’t around. I can try him in the morning, I mean after the sun comes up. But.

  She shrugs.

  —But, what was the last time someone saw him?

  She slaps her forehead.

  —Oh, shit. Right. Well, maybe Saturday because Tim always takes Sunday off and Monday was when he was missing, but that’s not what I was gonna. This other guy! I forgot to tell you.

  —What other?

  —Hang ooooon. OK, this other guy was in there, in the office I guess, this morning, when I went in for my pickup, and I heard him talking to Terry a little, and I think I heard him say Tim’s name, and then he left.

  —Who was he?

  —Well! At first, I thought the guy was a cop collecting a payoff because he was in a suit, but then when the guy left I heard him say good-bye and he can’t have been a cop, because of he had a Russian accent.

  My heart jackhammers. I could say it’s just the speed. But I’d be lying.

  I WALK out of the stall. At the sink, I splash water on my face and inhale, sucking it into my nose to ease the chemical burn from the bump I just did. I look in the mirror and there I am: Stetson pulled low, sunglasses still on, skin waxy and drawn under my Mexico tan, jaw muscles flexing as I grind my teeth. I turn off the sink and walk out of the bathroom, water still dripping from my moustache.

  Coming out of the tiled calm of the bathroom, I am hit by the ceaseless wave of slots racket. Gding-gding-gding, punctuated by the occasional mechanical cry, “Wheel of Fortune!” or the chang-chang of a nickel machine paying out. My heart leaps arhythmically in my chest, trying to match time with the din. I freeze.

  Where am I? I stand in place and turn in a slow circle and look around the Western-themed casino. I see a sign. Sam’s Town Gambling Hall. Oh, right. Sam’s Town. This is the place Sandy wanted to hang while . . . While? We’re waiting for something. For . . .

  —Where have you been, baby?

  Sandy grabs me from behind and wraps her arms around me, I rotate within her grasp, feeling our bodies slide against each other, and put my hands on her hips.

  —Got me.

  She smiles, puts a finger on the bridge of my sunglasses and pushes them down. She looks at my eyes.

  —Oh, baby, you are tweaked aren’t you?

  —Got me.

  She laughs.

  —Well, hand it over, it’s mama’s turn.

  I dig in my pocket for the bindle T gave me and pass it to her. She points at the tables.

  —T’s right over there.

  And she walks toward the bathrooms. I turn and find T at a ten-dollar craps table.

  —T, what are we doing here, man?

  He tosses a chip onto the table.

  —All the hards, heavy on the eight.

  I stand next to him at the table, watching the multicolored chips dance across the green felt, shuttled by the croupiers. I put my hand on his sleeve.

  —I mean, this is bad, I shouldn’t be out.

  The roller tosses the dice. A croupier calls them.

  —Seven! Craps!

  T’s chips are raked from the table. He looks at me.

  —We’re waiting for the call.

  —What call?

  He shakes his head.

  —The call, man. Her boss is gonna call with some more skinny on your boy Tim.

  —Right, the call.

  Sandy crashes into us, giggling and grabbing at our arms to keep from falling on the floor. We catch her and get her steady on her feet. She gives us both a kiss on the cheek.

  —OK, who’s buying the next round?

  SANDY’S BOSS still hasn’t called.

  We’re in T’s car; the three of us squeezed together, Sandy in the middle, her arms draped across our shoulders. She wants to party some more.

  —I got a couple bottles of Veuve at my apartment. I got them, this regu-lar of mine is a liquor salesman and he’s always bringing me stuff, and I have these amazing bottles of champagne. So, so we take the party back to my place and we can smoke some grass, and what I love is to sprinkle a little meth over the weed and base it that way, and we’ll open the bottles and maybe I’ll do a little dance. Put on a little shoooow for you boys for being so niiiice to me.

  I lean against the door and look through the window at the bluish tinge lining the edge of the valley. I look at Sandy. Her pale skin is almost glowing it’s so bloodless, her mascara has run, giving her raccoon eyes, and a smear of red lipstick is slashed from the right corner of her mouth. T is leaning forward, bony finger wrapped tight around the wheel, chewing on the butt of a Marlboro, eyes bugging at the road ahead. I shake my head.

  —I’m done.

  Sandy slaps my thigh.

  —Doooone? C’mon, Wade, I’m talking about a party here, special prizes and giveaways and.

  —I’m done.

  She crawls into my lap.

  —Baby, don’t be a party pooper.

  I am not a pooper. I mean, I don’t even know what I’m doing here. There’s a Russian looking for Tim. What the fuck am I doing here? What the fuck am I doing? I need some sleep. I need to get this shit cleaned out of my system and get some sleep and.

  Sandy is nuzzling my neck.

  —C’mon over and just hang out. You can lie down if you want and then you can join the party later. C’mon. My guy’ll call soon and.

  I push her off.

  —No. T, we got to go home.

  He keeps his eyes locked on the road.

  —Fuck, man, I ain’t got to do nothin’. You want to go home, cool, but I’m gonna party with Sandy.

  Sandy screams and turns around and grabs T, making the car swerve.

  —See, Wade, T knows how to make a girl happy.

  T UNLOCKS the trailer door.

  —I’ll be back in a few hours.

  He hands me the key and jerks his thumb toward the car, where Sandy is waiting.

  —Sure you don’t want in?

  I shake my head.

  —No. I need to sleep.

  —OK. Percs are in the medicine cabinet, that’ll put you down.

  —No, I’m too fucked-up, doing stupid shit.

  —What’re you supposed to be doing, man? We’ll talk to Sandy’s dealer later, see if he knows anything. Other than that? Pain sucks, so kill it.

  He’s right, pain does suck. I have been killing it and I like killing it. It’s so easy. I worked so hard for so many years to control myself, to keep everything in balance, but it’s so much easier to just take a pill. Easier and better. But I’m starting to fuck up. And I can’t do that.

  —Call me when you hear from her boss.

  He shakes his head.

  —I don’t have a phone in the trailer.

  I take Dylan’s cell out of my pocket, turn it on, and its number flashes on the screen. T finds a pen in his jacket and writes the number on his hand. Sandy sticks her head out the car window.

  —Hey
, T, leave the dog here, I don’t want it crapping on my rug.

  He walks toward the car.

  —Sorry, baby, he’s not the kind of dog you leave at home with company.

  He gets in the car and they drive off.

  I’m alone.

  The speed is crashing hard and I’m starting to feel all the booze I drank tonight. I’m going to be in very bad shape very soon. I open the door, step inside.

  The TV is on.

  I start to turn and run, but someone trips me and I fall onto the porch and I’m dragged back into the trailer. Someone sits on my back. I struggle.

  —Chill, dude.

  ROLF IS pissed, so he beats me up a little.

  Sid sits on the couch and watches.

  Rolf drags me to my feet, makes sure I see the gun Sid is holding, and punches me in the gut. I fall back on the floor and he kicks me a few times in the back and the legs, then he gets down on his knees, straddling my body, and pummels my arms and torso as I try to cover my face. And then he’s done.

  He slaps the side of my head and stands up.

  —You keep acting like I’m a tool, Hank. Not telling me and Leo who you really are, so we can’t do our job the right way. Then that shit in the desert? Dude. That was bogus beyond belief. But then, dude, you come here, to the address that was on that Christmas card? After you totally know that I saw the thing? I mean, do you think I smoked away all my short-term memory? Oh, and, dude, by the way, where the fuck is my money?

  —Rolf, I have no clue.

  He picks up a book from T’s coffee table.

  —You ever read this, dude?

  It’s Sid’s copy of The Man Who Got Away. I nod.

  —Skimmed it.

  —Yeah, well, let me read you my favorite part.

  He flips to a dog-eared page near the end.

  —And what was it all about? The blood and the killing? The murder of innocents? The chaos that reigned in Gotham for two days as Henry Thompson rampaged through the streets? With no survivors or witnesses left to tell the tale, we can only surmise. But were there no witnesses? What of the bodies of Edward and Paris DuRante, later identified as the duo behind a string of daring Midwest bank robberies? What of the investigations into Lieutenant Detective Roman’s dealings in the underworld and the revelations of his ties to organized crime? What of the scale of the carnage in Paul’s Bar? What might inspire such bloodshed? And, finally, what of Thompson’s utter and complete disappearance? What could facilitate such an escape? All these mute witnesses point to one thing: money. A great deal of money. Rumors on the street suggest that the long hours of fear that clutched The City That Never Sleeps were the product of the powerful lust for profit that rules the small minds of brutal men. The ill-gotten gains of the DuRante’s, estimated by some to be well over ten million dollars, were no doubt the treasure sought by the darker figures of this tale. Their error was to have swept Thompson into the storm of their greed, never knowing the beast that lurked inside his secret heart.

  He holds the book out to me. I take it from him, look at the page, close it, and hand it back.

  —It’s only about four million really.

  Rolf jumps to his feet.

  —Four million! Dude. OK! OK, we need to get organized. That guy you were with, Elvis? When’s he comin’ back?

  —He said a few hours.

  —Cool. So no hurry.

  He looks at Sid, who’s still motionless on the couch.

  —Sid, did you hear that? Four mil?

  Sid shrugs, keeps his mouth shut, his eyes on the TV screen. Rolf waves a hand like he’s done with him and kneels next to me.

  —Now, dude, all fucking around aside, where is the money?

  What was my life like before the money? Was it a good life? Was it interesting? Did I live it well? Was I useful to other people? Was I happy? I don’t really remember anymore because I’ve heard the question Rolf is asking far too many times.

  —I don’t have it, man.

  —Look, dude, I understand. Four mil is a lot of money. I get it how you don’t want to let on and all. And look, I’m not, we had a deal for 200 K and you broke it. So yeah, I want more, but I’m not greedy. I’m not some asshole who wants to clear you out. I want half. So it’s like this simple question of How valuable is your life? Almost anybody would kill for two mil. And almost anybody would pay two mil to keep from getting killed. So tell me where the money is and you get two, and I get two, and everybody goes their own way. Flipside is, dude, no one gets nothing and we kill you.

  Sid points at the TV.

  —It’s on again.

  Rolf looks at the screen

  —Shit!

  I catch a quick glimpse of nighttime video footage. A bunch of SWAT guys surrounding a vehicle pinned in the spotlight of a hovering chopper. Rolf switches the set off.

  I look at him and smile.

  —Man, that looked just like Sid’s Westphalia. You guys really need that money now, don’t you?

  —Shut up.

  —You may have wanted it before, but, man, you need it now. Have they shown Sid’s driver’s license photo yet?

  —Shut up, dude.

  —’Cause that’ll be next. They’ll find out who that thing is registered to, and his photo will be all over the place. After that? They start looking into his known associates. Did anybody see you when you hooked up in San Diego? Any of your old buds?

  —Shut the fuck up, dude!

  —Or what? Look at me, I’m a fucking mess. Go ahead, beat on me some more.

  He clenches his fists and shakes them.

  —Just tell me where the money is, dude.

  —Duuuude, I told you, I don’t know where the money is.

  He talks between gritted teeth.

  —Tell. Me. Where. The. Money. Is.

  —In. My. Ass.

  He puts his hands on my neck, holds them there, shaking. Sid is leaning forward on the couch, watching closely. I could die here. This is another time that I could die. But I don’t. Rolf takes his hand away, walks to the couch, and kicks it five times, then sits down.

  —Dude, just tell me where.

  —Rolf. I don’t know.

  I get myself off the floor.

  —But someone else does.

  I tell them the truth. Sort of. I tell them about Timmy and how I have a great lead on him. I tell them all I have to do is wait for a call that will tell me where he is, and then we can go get the money.

  I don’t tell them about Dylan. If they find out about him, they’ll know there is no way in hell I will ever let them near the money that can save my parents’ lives.

  And the story I tell them gives me time. Time for all of us to sit on the couch and watch TV and wait for a call that may never come, while I try to figure how to get them out of here before T comes home and chaos ensues.

  My phone rings.

  —WHO IS it, dude?

  —I don’t know.

  —Well, is it your connection or whatever?

  —I don’t know.

  Rolf grabs the phone and looks at the screen.

  —Where’s your caller ID?

  I take the phone back.

  —I don’t think it has that.

  —You bought a phone and didn’t get caller ID? Dude, ID is key.

  The phone rings for the fifth time. What if it’s Dylan? I don’t want to talk to Dylan in front of these guys. It rings again.

  —Well, answer it, dude.

  I hit the green button.

  —Hello?

  —Wade?

  My stomach lurches. Then I get it.

  —Hey, Sandy, what happened to the party?

  —Party? Oh, yeah, baby, we got it goin’ on. But. Hey, hey, baby, good news. I, we came back to my place, and there was a message from my boss, Terry.

  —Yeah?

  —He says he knows something.

  —Yeah?

  —Yeah.

  —OK, well?

  —Well, yeah, but, baby, he wants som
e money and says he won’t. You know?

  —Wait. Does he know where Tim? Hey, is T there, can I talk to?

  —He’s indisposed, baby, in the john. But my guy.

  —Right, your guy. How much?

  —Just five. He said a grand, but I told him you were nice so I got him to go five.

  —Thanks.

  —Sure. So, he says the money, he wants to get the money and then he’ll tell you.

  —He knows where Tim is?

  —I think. He said he has some info on him, so I think so, yeah.

  —So when?

  —Um, he’s gonna come over in like an hour? Is that? Over here? Can you?

  —Yeah, I’m just not sure how I’m.

  That’s when I hear a noise in the background. A noise I now realize has been there through this whole call.

  —Uh, you know, Sandy, I don’t have a car or.

  —Well.

  —So it’ll take me awhile and I’m still pretty fucked-up, so later would be good.

  —Well, he’s really.

  —So have T call and tell me what time.

  I hang up. She’ll get me a later meet. But it won’t be T who calls. I’m sure of these things because of the way I could hear Hitler barking in the background. Hitler, who never makes a noise except for a fart, barking mad and angry through the whole call.