Mastering Love

by Morticia Knight

  “There you are, old sport!”

  Ned jumped at the sound of Saul’s voice. He twisted around to see the older man standing on the expansive porch, wiping his brow with a handkerchief.

  “Hello, Saul. I…I hope I’m not too late.”

  Saul made one more swipe across his face before stuffing the white cloth back into his pocket. “Not at all. Haven’t even had dessert yet. I just had to get out of this beastly heat for a bit. It’s cooler in the back of the house.”

  “Yes, it is awful, isn’t it?” He cleared his throat, not sure if he should blurt out his main reason for being there yet. “Since dessert hasn’t been served, I suppose I’m at least in time for these. I brought some See’s candy.”

  “Ah, better keep an eye on me then. They’re one of my favorites. Let’s take them over to the others, shall we? Otherwise, I fear they won’t be safe.” Saul chuckled.

  Ned smiled in return, finally relaxing somewhat. There was something about the older Master that made everything all better. He followed Saul around the side of the house where the commotion continued to reign. Aaron, Theodore and Thomas all sat in chairs watching and laughing as Francesco and Sam tormented each other with the hose. Somehow Sam had wrested it from Francesco who was hiding behind a row of bushes that the garden accessory couldn’t reach. He would pop his head up like a gopher then Sam would try to spray him. Linus was at Thomas’ feet, his head resting against Thomas’ thigh. Kenneth fussed around a picnic table, apparently cleaning up.

  Saul grumbled as they drew closer. “Can’t leave that boy alone for a second. I told him to leave that for later.”

  The first person to spot him was Linus. He straightened, his eyes growing wide, mouth falling open. His abrupt movement must have grabbed Thomas’ attention because he turned right then, locking eyes with him. Thomas placed a hand on Linus’ shoulder as the boy tried to scramble to his feet. He leaned down, whispering something in Linus’ ear. Linus settled back onto the ground, nodding.

  “Hey, look! It’s Ne—”

  The last part was garbled as Francesco received a mouthful of water from Sam’s hose. Sam dropped the weapon on the grass where it wiggled out of control, sending water flying everywhere. As Sam raced toward what looked like a separate driveway from the one at the front, Francesco pounced on the snake-like hose.

  “Sam!”

  Aaron’s voice brought Sam to an immediate halt. He stayed where he was, but it was obvious from his body language that he was in a terrible conflict with himself. Sam jiggled one leg as he twisted his hands and chewed on his bottom lip. He took a few furtive glances over his shoulder then stared back at Aaron.

  “Over here with me now, little Sam.”

  Aaron’s voice was softer, but still firm. If he’d been Aaron’s submissive, he wouldn’t have dared defy his command. Sam did as he was told, but not without looking up the driveway a couple more times. Once he reached his Master, Aaron pulled him onto his lap, whispering in his ear, similar to how Thomas had spoken to Linus a few moments before. Saul bypassed most of what had occurred. Ned had noted the older man heading straight for his submissive, helping him with the clean-up.

  Ned could guess what was going on, since Evan was nowhere to be seen. The way the men had prevented their boys from retrieving him broke Ned’s heart. Either they wanted to keep Ned away from him, or they were upholding Evan’s wishes that Ned leave him alone. If that was the case, then he’d be crushed. He would leave the club after all.

  Saul gestured enthusiastically for him to come over to the table. Ned gazed down at the box of chocolates he held. As long as he was there, he’d give everyone the candy then make his excuses. He walked toward Saul and as he got closer, the other Masters all stood. Aaron deposited a jumpy Sam into the chair he’d just vacated. Surprisingly, when he reached Thomas, he extended his hand. After tucking the candy under one arm, he accepted Thomas’ gesture. From his expression, Ned could see it was genuine.

  “I was getting concerned you wouldn’t make it. We all were.”

  Linus spoke up, “Yes. All of us.”

  Ned was surprised by the conviction in Linus’ voice. He’d always known him to be more quiet and reserved, but perhaps Thomas’ influence had contributed to breaking through his shell.

  “Linus, I want you to take Sam and Francesco and help Kenneth take everything inside. Make sure the kitchen is spotlessly clean so we can bring dessert out in a little while.”

  It was easy to see that Linus wasn’t pleased with his instructions. He pressed his lips in a tight line, pulling his eyebrows together. But like the good boy Ned knew him to be, he immediately did what Thomas had asked. Sam and Francesco followed behind—not looking much happier.

  With the source of all the disruption removed, Ned was left facing the questioning gazes of his fellow Dominants. “I… When I arrived, I told Saul… Anyway, I brought these chocolates.”

  “Yes, he brought my favorite—so I’d move quickly if I were you. Can’t guarantee they won’t all be gone in the blink of an eye.” Saul winked at him.

  “So…” Ned chuckled nervously. He felt like a complete fool—as he well knew he should. “I apologize for my lateness. I can see you’re probably wrapping things up, so I’ll leave these and—”

  “He’s up at the guesthouse.”

  Ned snapped his mouth closed so fast he almost bit his tongue. Thomas regarded him with a look of compassion. He didn’t know what to say. Glancing around at the others, no one’s expression condemned him. But why wasn’t Evan at the party? The tiniest sliver of hope bloomed in his chest.

  “Is he very angry with me?”

  Thomas took a deep breath. “Perhaps. He has a lot of spark. But he also has a lot of heart—one that needs to be treasured.”

  “I know. I’m a horse’s ass, and I came here today hoping to make it up to him somehow. To ask him to give me a chance.”

  “Then what are you waiting for, old sport?” Saul clapped him on the back. “Go see your boy.”

  * * * *

  After crying until his eyes were red and swollen, Evan had concluded that his backup plan needed to be put into effect immediately. He wouldn’t do anything rash. He’d come to his senses since his last horrible club visit when Ned had shown up with Colin. Apparently, the fact that Ned didn’t want Colin hadn’t meant that he wanted Evan either. It had only meant that Evan had gotten himself worked up into believing that Ned would come for him. He huffed out loud.

  What an idiot I am.

  The next day was Monday, the beginning of a new week, the beginning of his new life. He’d ask Aaron if it was all right that he be allowed to take off a day at the nursery to go look for a job down the street in the city of Pasadena. There was a railcar that could take him to Colorado Boulevard where Linus had told him there were a lot of nice restaurants. That was something he knew how to do. He could wait tables, make good tips. He didn’t have to fuck men for money.

  He sat on the small couch in the living room. His plan should have filled him with more confidence, helped him feel more secure about his future. Instead, he dreaded the thought of facing that future without a proper Master. Structure and organization weren’t his best attributes. Taking orders and fulfilling another man’s wishes was where he excelled. Being cared for and cherished on a daily basis was what he needed. He rubbed at his forehead, the heat suffocating him, the walls closing in. He needed some air.

  Sam had shown him where there was a picnic table down the path behind the greenhouse, and it was in a nice shady area. Maybe he’d feel better there. He’d already taken off his blue shirt then tossed it on the chair next to the couch. All he had on were his jeans and his buttoned tank undershirt. Even his shoes had been more than he could bear.

  After a brief stop to get some warm water from the same hose he’d drank from his first day with Sam, he picked his way through the dried eucalyptus trees and other detritus until he reached the outdoor table and benches. There was the slightest of breezes, and ev
en though it was a hot one, at least it moved the air around a little bit. As it turned out, the shade in the small area did lower the temperature quite a lot.

  Maybe I’ll sleep out here tonight.

  He jerked to attention on the wooden bench. Someone was calling his name. It sounded like it was coming from the guesthouse on the other side of where he was, but sometimes the echoes were tricky in the foothills. He heard it again, a little closer.

  Ned?

  Why would Ned be up at the guesthouse? It had already been so late when Evan had left the party, he hadn’t believed there was the slightest chance that Ned would show up.

  “Evan, are you out here?”

  “I-I’m down here.” He swallowed hard.

  Glancing at his apparel in dismay, he remembered he was only half-dressed. It wasn’t that Ned hadn’t seen him in much less clothing—as well as obscenely exposed—but he was certain that the Master would be impeccably attired. As Ned crested the top of the small slope, Evan stopped breathing. He was stunning.

  You’re angry. Don’t forget how angry you are.

  Their gazes met, and the power of the connection between them slammed into him, a reminder of why he’d been drowning in hurt all week. But Evan also saw hurt in Ned’s eyes, his brow wrinkled, his lips pressed in a hard line. They said nothing, just stared. Ned made no move to come any nearer, and Evan was incapable of standing. The man he’d wanted to see, talk to, hold on to all week was less than ten feet away from him, and Evan was frozen like a statue.

  “I’ve come to ask for your forgiveness.”

  Ned stated the words softly. There had been an underlying tone of apprehension in his voice that matched the fear in his expression. Evan blinked a few times until awareness washed over him. Ned was the one trying to convince him—not the other way around. Evan didn’t have to point out to Ned that he’d made a mistake, that he should at least give them a try. Ned already knew it.

  Evan found his voice. “If I forgive you, then what?”

  His statement seemed to be the impetus Ned had needed. He hurried to Evan’s side then dropped to his knees in front of him. Evan was disconcerted by the abrupt action. He’d never had a Master kneel in front of him before, and he couldn’t stop worrying about Ned’s nice beige linen suit. It would be ruined.

  “Sir, your pants.”

  Ned pulled him from the bench, his arms wrapped around his waist as he dragged him onto his lap. When Ned had settled on the leaves, cradling him, Evan knew there was no hope for the light colored garment. Ned raised one hand to cup his cheek. He had a look of wonder as he stared into Evan’s eyes.

  “Thank you, beautiful boy.”

  Evan was confused. He also wondered if he was hallucinating. “For what?”

  “You called me ‘Sir’.”

  The crush of Ned’s lips on his was the same as heaven. If he could only have that one moment with him forever, it would be all that he’d ever need. Their urgency built, the reality of their reunion coming alive. As much as Evan clutched at him, Ned gave back with the same intensity. Evan opened up for him, let Ned plunder his mouth as he tasted the Dominant man’s warm, wet sweetness.

  Then the tears came. He couldn’t stop them, couldn’t hold back any of his emotions of the previous week. The pain, the want, the anger, the perceived betrayal—it all mixed together until his body trembled with the force of it.

  “Evan. Lovely Evan.” Ned had broken the kiss to cradle his face as though he was seeing him for the first time. “I was wrong about us. So very wrong. Please forgive me so we can start over.”

  He wanted to say something, anything, but was so overwhelmed he couldn’t think straight. Ned held him close, rocking him, kissing his head, murmuring how sorry he was over and over. Ned handed him a handkerchief, which he used to wipe his face. After his crying jag earlier, he hadn’t thought he had any more left in him. Something finally broke through.

  “Why, Sir?”

  He twisted his body so he could look into Ned’s face. It was clear that Ned was filled with shame. His cheeks were flushed and his brow was furrowed in a way that telegraphed his regret.

  “Remember when I said I’d already decided there was something I required in a boy and that I needed to follow through on that first?”

  Evan wasn’t so sure he wanted to hear Ned’s answer—especially since Ned didn’t appear as though he wanted to give it. “I remember.” Evan tried not to choke on his next words. “So did you? Follow through, I mean.”

  Ned stroked back his hair, petting his head repeatedly as he spoke. “Not the way you think. I thought I wanted a virgin, someone completely untrained in submission.”

  It couldn’t be real. Couldn’t be happening again. When would he stop thinking things could work out, that everything could be okay? It never would. He could never go back and be that new boy every Master seemed to want. He pushed at Ned, struggled in his embrace, but Ned wouldn’t loosen his hold.

  “I thought that Evan, but I was wrong.” Ned held him tighter. “I’ve never been so wrong. You’re my boy, my only boy. You’re the only one I want.”

  Evan fought with all he had not to give in to the urge to weep again. “How can I believe anything you say? What happens when a new boy comes along and you want him more than me? I don’t expect you to promise me forever right now, but how do I know you’ll even give us a chance before going off and leaving me like you did last week?”

  “Oh, Evan. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove my worth to you. Didn’t I tell you that you deserve the best? Well, it’s my duty to show you that I’m the best Master for you. I already know you’re the best boy for me.”

  They were beautiful words, the very ones he’d ached to hear for the past week. But his bond with Ned was already so intense that if he was to deepen it then lose Ned again—he wasn’t sure he’d survive.

  “I’m afraid.”

  “Evan, let me take care of you, cherish you, show you how important you are. Let me be the one to erase your fears.”

  He was still cradled in Ned’s lap, and it struck him that he never wanted to leave. He not only wanted to be with Ned, he wanted to truly submit to him the way Ned had explained before. He’d asked Ned to teach him, to master him. There would have to be trust between them for it to work, but that trust had been damaged. Ned needed to fix that first.

  “I want you to master me, Ned, more than anything. But you disappointed me. You weren’t fair.”

  Ned had gone back to stroking his hair, sometimes tucking it behind his ear. “I know. You’re right.” Ned leaned in to brush their lips together before settling back. “I’ll find a way to show you that my heart is with you, with us as Master and submissive.” His lips quirked into a half smile. “You have wonderful friends, very protective. They would never allow me to hurt you.” Something flashed in Ned’s eyes. “Like the rules…”

  Evan could sense Ned’s excitement, but he couldn’t imagine how rules could thrill anyone so much. But then again, he was a Master.

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Ned framed his face with his hands. “What do you think of this? How about I have Saul draw up an agreement—similar to what he did for the club—and you and I sign it?”

  “Wha… What?”

  “Think about it, precious boy. You and I will discuss what we both want from a long-term partnership. We’ll put it in an agreement for a specified period of time then see if it works. Neither of us goes with another Master or submissive during that time. Then we’ll have the freedom to explore everything we can be to each other without the fear of either one giving up right away.”

  “So…we both have to follow whatever we decide on in the agreement? And I get to decide too? It’s not just you?”

  Ned had a wide grin on his face as he nodded excitedly. “Yes. We can bring it to the board. We’ll have them read it then witness us signing it. Saul can keep it locked in his study where he keeps all the files on the members.”

  “Gee, N
ed.” He inhaled sharply. “I mean, Sir.” He had to laugh. It really was a grand idea. “But how long would we have the agreement for?” His stomach clutched as he asked the next part. “And what about when it’s over? Then what?”

  “It can be for however long you want. After the way I behaved, you can decide. During the period of the agreement, we’ll be learning about each other, finding our rhythm and whether we match or not. I’ll be training you to my standards as a Master, of course. It will be as much for you to decide if I’m the right Master for you as it will be for me to decide if you’re my permanent boy.”

  “Permanent?”

  Ned kissed his cheek. “I told you I was looking for a boy.”

  “And what you meant was that you want one for good?”

  “Yes, Evan. Forever.”

  “Sir?”

  “Yes?”

  “Could you decide on the length of the agreement? One of the reasons I need a Master is that I can’t make any decisions. I start to, but then I keep changing my mind and it gets all mixed up in my head until I’m frustrated.”

  “Of course.” Ned rubbed his nose against Evan’s. “Let’s see. How about if we start off with nothing too overwhelming. Say, three months?”

  He’d already told Ned to decide on the length of time for their agreement. He didn’t want to come out right away and say he wished it was longer. In reality, he had no clue what he would’ve said. The whole idea of two grown men signing an agreement to stay together for a certain period of time was incredibly strange—almost like a temporary marriage. Yet he had to admit it was a genius idea. He shifted on Ned’s lap. In three months, he was sure he could show Ned how good he could submit to him. Perhaps it would also be clear that Ned really wanted him and no one else after all.

  Ned still stroked Evan’s hair back from his face, gazing at him with his eyes narrowed. Evan remembered what Ned had said about seeing him. Giving himself to a Master like Ned would mean that he’d be completely exposed all the time. It had nothing to do with his body. Ned would see past every dark corner, hidden weakness, carefully constructed mask, and crafty trick Evan used in which to shield himself. Evan would have to trust Ned with his very soul.