What Once Was Mine

by Krystyna Allyn

  for him, I already had a dad.

  After my encounter, Aaron Bancroft, III, was dead to me. I’m not sure if he ever told my mother what I did, but I recall an influx of money that month. My mother said she received a bonus and I didn’t ask any questions. She can’t stay pissed about my move forever and will call me eventually.

  Inwardly, I vow to be myself, not allowing others to steer my life in the direction they prefer. Being with Cole only opened my eyes to other possibilities, namely the teaching assistant position. No, he didn’t actually convince me to change careers. This was something I’ve always considered. Unfortunately, life threw too many obstacles in my path, forcing my wants to the background. I reminded of one of the many conversations Cole and I had about this topic.

  “Name something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance.”

  “Hmm,” I hedged. “I don’t know if I want to tell you. I barely know you.”

  “Really?” He chuckled, looming over me. “Yet here we are, naked in a hotel room at who knows what hour in the morning. At this point, we’re bosom buddies.” Cole leaned forward, wrapping his lips around my nipple. I groaned as he tongued the hard nub. “See.”

  “No fair.” I gave him a light shove as he nestled in between my legs.

  “Maybe, but you still haven’t answered my question.”

  Biting my lip, I pondered not telling him, but I figured what the hell.

  “To work with kids, perhaps teach preschool.”

  “I can see that. You have the temperament to deal with the tiny population.”

  “Seriously?” My eyes widened as he stroked my face.

  “Yeah. The second I met you I could tell you had a kind heart. You didn’t know me from a hole in the wall, yet you took the time to engage me. There’s also the small fact that you didn’t knee me in the balls for being so forward.” He laughed. “It proves you’re not only smart but have the patience of a saint. Kids need teachers like that.” He grins. “All joking aside, you seem like a person who can succeed in whatever you put your mind to.

  I stared at him, not sure what my face displayed, his expression softening.

  “No one’s ever …” My words drifted off, but he understood the power behind his observations. It was a silent acknowledgment between strangers, something I treasured as nervousness began to envelop me.

  “How about you?” I shifted the conversation to him, not ready to examine my current life choices.

  “Honestly, I’ve never thought about it. I knew I didn’t want to be a blue-collar worker. I saw the hard work that went into it, and I preferred to use my brain as opposed to brawn. Not to say anyone who chooses that path is an idiot. Much to my parents’ chagrin, I chose numbers over manual labor. They were hoping I would take over the family business, but I wanted to make my own way.” He flashed this far off look. “I fucked people over and it’s come back to bite me in the ass in ways I never expected. I’m divorced, my father recently died, and now I’m back where I started, home. Not knowing what the hell to do with my life. You have a leg up on me, Sparkle, but I’ll make you a promise. As soon as I find out, you’ll be the first to know.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” I yelped when he suddenly rolled us over, settling me on top. He reached over to the dresser, grabbing another condom from the box we purchased on the way to his hotel room.

  “You on top this time? I tasted your tits. Now I want to watch them bounce.”

  “Great idea,” I breathed, feeling his cock stiffening underneath me. He handed me the condom, I slid it on, gliding it slowly down his shaft. And it was off to the races again. He said I rode him so hard I made his toes curl, but what he did to me was worse. Cole made me want more.

  “I really need to stop thinking about him,” I mumble to no one, as I fall asleep.

  The next day, I take a longer than usual shower. The hot water is relaxing, and I need all the calm I can get.

  It’s Friday and I have to meet with Hannah Bailey, my new boss at Lollipop Preschool. She said it was informal, but I decide to wear a business-appropriate dress—a grey pencil skirt, white polka dot short-sleeved shirt, and black pumps. My outfit screams job interview and that’s the plan. It’s hot and I could easily throw on my mini and cropped tee. I don’t, seeing as I’d like to keep this job. According to Carrie, I look sexy in anything I wear.

  I guess it’s lucky I inherited my slender figure from the sperm donor’s side of the family. I swear, if I didn’t have a natural tan, I’d fit in with those people I share genes with. I’ve seen pictures of my bio dad’s mother and sister. They seem like the type to have sticks living in their asses.

  Not me.

  Well, not much anymore. I tended to be more closed off. New Marley is more chill and does her best to experience life to the fullest.

  When I arrive at the school, I immediately notice the security measures and I approve. Some small towns tend to live in a bubble, assuming their slice of the world will always be safe. I can list the school shootings on my fingers and toes ten times over to prove them wrong. Bad people will always find a way to do awful things. It’s up to us to be vigilant and prevent it to our best abilities.

  Waving to the camera, I announce myself. Hannah buzzes me in, shaking my hand immediately upon entry. I reviewed their website yesterday and her photos do her no justice. Though her dark eyes are assessing, the woman radiates sunshine. I bet if this weren’t a professional situation, she’d probably pull me into a hug. We’ve chatted off and on over the month before I moved here, and she was a big help in getting me the apartment. Her boyfriend, Mason, knew a guy who knew a guy. She also gushed about his children—a boy and a girl—whose names I can’t recall at the moment. Hannah, with her long, sleek dark brown hair, and sparkling eyes will definitely make my foray into this new career a good one.

  “Morning, Marley. Thanks for coming in while you’re still getting settled.” I walk into her office and take the seat she gestures to.

  “Oh, it was no problem.” I cross my legs and adjust my skirt. “I’m ninety percent unpacked. My remaining tasks include grocery shopping and waiting for the Wi-Fi to be installed later on. Other than that, I’m square.”

  “I don’t miss those days. When Mason and I moved in together, combining all of our services was a chore. He wanted to have everything in his name. He likes to act like an alpha male sometimes, but I have to keep him on his toes.” She rolls her eyes. “You know how men are.”

  I smile, liking the candid way she speaks to me. It leads me to believe she and I will become good friends. It will be nice to have one who lives close by.

  “Lenny is smitten with you, by the way.”

  “You know him?” I arch a brow.

  “Yup. He and I have been besties for years.” She beams. Occasionally, he and his mother come to our house for dinner and we dog sit for them too. February is such a cutie. She wore the most adorable butterfly costume in the Halloween parade, but I can’t recall what year. Anyway, he rambled on about this cool girl from Anchor Ridge he’s taking on a tour of the town.”

  “Yeah. He seems like a nice guy, but I’m not interested.”

  I inwardly cringe at my snappish response. Here I am, the new girl in town and I’m already insulting my boss’s friend.

  Not a great start, Marley.

  “That is, if I were, he’d be the first person I’d date.” I lie through my teeth.

  Shaking her head, Hannah laughs.

  “No worries. I’m not trying to play matchmaker. By smitten, I only meant he likes you. Lenny is the rare man that believes in love at first sight. If he doesn’t feel the spark, you’re friend-zoned immediately, no matter how hot you are. It’s an endearing trait, which is why I love the guy like a brother. Plus, he prefers men.”

  My shoulders slump, and I visibly relax. Hannah notices, grabbing my hand from across the desk.

  “Everyone in the town is friendly. We do have a few characters who are interesting, but for the most pa
rt, we’re a close-knit bunch. Be yourself, and you’ll be fine.”

  “Thanks,” I mutter as she lets my hand go. “I only want to make a good impression with everyone. I’m really excited to start this new chapter in my life, and I plan on registering for some online courses to further my education. I’d eventually like to become a full-time teacher if a position opens up.”

  “That’s great to hear. You should meet with Taylor before classes start next week. She can give you the skinny on your students and the town as well. The children love her and I think you two will get along perfectly.” Hannah hands me the new employee packet. I’d already seen an electronic version of this and chose my insurance and other benefits earlier. “I’ve included her number in there. She’s expecting your call today.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Now, let me give you a tour of where you’ll be working.”

  Hannah escorts me around the small building in the typical set up of a pre-school down to the tiny cubbies. She shows me the employee bathroom, lounge, and other places I’ll frequent. Eventually, she directs me to the secretary’s office where I obtain my photo and keys to the classroom. After everything is said and done, I wave goodbye to Hannah and head to my next appointment. I’m dreading it, but If I’m going to be on my own, I need to take hold of my mental health and not drift back to the nothingness which claimed me for many years.

  3

  The Set-Up

  Bro Tip # 29

  Call blocking is a powerful tool when avoiding an ex. Unless said former lover lives in the same zip code. Then, you’re screwed.

  Cole

  “That you, Lenny?” I ask from the back of the store as I stare at the supply list attached to my clipboard.

  This morning has been hellish and it started the minute I opened my eyes. I had a dream about my mystery woman again, waking up with a hardon. Could I take care of it?

  No.

  Lenny phoned me and ask that I come in early. Something about a woman needing a faucet fixed. The original plan was to head over in the afternoon, review the building supply requests from Mason, and compare it to the inventory on hand. Afterward, visit my mother for our weekly Thursday dinner. She’s making a casserole.

  Instead, I found myself knee-deep in paperwork at nine in the morning while Lenny went to the call. I didn’t get much done with the constant influx of customers. People tend to stock up at the end of the season. Great for business, awful when you have to sort through your supplies.

  It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t spent the evening with Taylor. I left her place at three in the morning and expected another five hours of sleep, at least.

  Yes, I caved.

  We’ve been flirting off and on since my return to the town. I like Taylor. I swear I do. She’s gorgeous with a sweet, yet sassy personality to match. Still, there’s no spark between us, just two adults satisfying a need. Or at least it’s how I see it. I suspect she still harbors the same crush she did when we hooked up years ago. It wasn’t happening then and it’s not happening now.

  “Affirmative, boss.” His shuffling feet make their way down the second aisle.

  “I’ve told you not to call me that,” I sigh, turning to face him.

  “Well, you are.” He shrugs. “I could call you Cody if you want.” He waggles his eyebrows, knowing I hate the name. “Besides, I called your dad the same thing, and he didn’t complain.”

  Lenny’s eyes widen at his last statement, though he shouldn’t worry. I’ve grown used to others mentioning my father. He was well-loved. I don’t want to deprive people of their good memories with him because of my personal grief. They don’t realize that each day I hear a new story about him, it lessens the pain of his loss.

  “How did the call go?” I change the subject to give Lenny an out. He’s been instrumental in acclimating me to the business. Really, he could run it on his own if he wanted.

  “Awesome.” He grins. “She was cute and funny. We’re going out when she’s free. She’s new to town and I’m showing her the sights.”

  “I thought you weren’t into girls.” I raise a brow. “She must be some woman for you to change sides.”

  “Please. Dudes are better, but Marley is great. You should meet her.”

  Like I need another woman in my life.

  “I’m sure we’ll run into each other eventually. The town is small.”

  “You sure will.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “She’s Taylor’s new teaching assistant.”

  “Uh-huh.” Which equals, I don’t care. I set my clipboard on the closest shelf. “Were you able to fix the issue?”

  “Yup. Piece of cake. I didn’t charge her, so bill me for it.”

  “Huh.” I frown. “You know this is a business, right?”

  “That I do, boss.”

  “And for this place to function, people have to pay us.”

  “True.”

  “Then, it must’ve been some girl.”

  “The best. You need me to finish up the inventory count? You look beat.”

  Lenny is an observant man. I consider taking him up on his offer, but I’m a glutton for punishment.

  “Nah, I’m almost done. If you could straighten the floor and keep an eye on the register, it would be great. I’ll be in the office if you need me.”

  He gives me a two-finger salute and strides to the front of the store. I trudge to the back office, a room which oozes my father’s personality.

  From the old wooden desk to the family photos scattered on top, this room is like a second home. There were plenty of days where I would sit on the tattered green leather sofa across from the desk and listen to my dad explain the inner workings of the store. He had this commanding way about him which made you want to listen when he spoke, the knowledge he imparted valuable. When we first lost him, I came here often to reflect, grieve, and find comfort in a place where he spent most of his time. I miss him terribly and carrying on his business successfully is the only way I know how to pay homage.

  The leather chair creaks as I settle in, signing on the desktop computer. For years, my father used a paper system, but when I took over, I switched to an electronic version. I have no idea how he kept track of the number of expenses, services, and other details for so long. I didn’t want to take the chance of missing anything. It took a couple of months for everything to be online. It’s running smoothly.

  After some keystrokes and a few clicks, I’m in. I begin reviewing last month’s sales. I find we’re making steady money, no significant peaks or troughs in the sales graph. There were slight fluctuations mid-July, but I blame the post-July fourth slow down.

  “Okay, this is boring,” I say to no one. I check my clock and realize it’s almost five. Apparently, I’ve been staring at my computer for three hours. The store closes at seven, but I’m of a mind to close early.

  A knock at my office door brings me to attention.

  “Hey,” Taylor greets, peeking around the doorway. “Lenny asked me to rescue you from the mountains of work covering your desk. Can I come in?”

  “Free country.”

  Taylor strides in wearing her usual school teacher outfit, a long shirt, leggings, and a pair of black flats. Flexibility is essential when chasing after little people.

  The woman is effortlessly attractive. She knows it, but she doesn’t use it as a tool. She’s friendly and great with the kids she teaches. Occasionally, I’ve stopped at the town bookstore, The Reading Nook, and found her entire classroom sitting on the floor space in the back, enthralled with the story she’s reading to them. Every Wednesday, the Nook sets aside a time for the kids to congregate.

  “You left this morning.” She folds her arms across her chest, playfully scowling at me.

  “I did. I had work.” I lean back into my chair, resting my palms on the back of my head.

  “Liar. You said you didn’t have to be in until later.” She gives me a challenging look.

  “Lenny had an issue so my plan
s changed.”

  “Well, you’re gonna have to make it up to me.”

  “About that,” I sigh, mentally preparing myself for backlash. “Last night wasn't a good idea and I don’t think we should do it again.”

  “Seriously, Cole?” She frowns. “You kissed me first and, if I’m not mistaken, you were the one to suggest we,” she uses air quotes, “take our party someplace private. I knew I shouldn’t have gone with you.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

  It's true.

  I’ve got Sparkle on the brain, and the number of times she invades my thoughts is getting ridiculous. No, I didn't think of her when Taylor and I were together. I only wanted to…

  Hell.

  I don’t know what I was trying to do. Sleeping with Taylor was a stupid mistake. I’m trying my best not to be that guy again, the one who uses women for his own satisfaction. It’s not right and my father would be ashamed of me.

  I wasted my entire marriage searching for the next high when what I should've been doing was focusing on my wife. If I ever get a second chance with someone else, I don’t want to fuck it up.

  “Cole. I can’t do this again with you. I’m not a fragile teenager anymore and I can take disappointment, but you know with you it’s always been different.”

  “Yeah,” I mutter. “You’re not some random one-night stand either and I hate that I’m upsetting you. It was never my intention.”

  “I know. With you, I should’ve listened to my gut. Maybe you’re not in a place to even consider a relationship with me, you might never get to that point. For now, let’s try and be friends first. Sex seems to complicate things when it comes to us.”

  “I thought we were already friends.” I smile, and she rolls her eyes.

  Leaning forward, Taylor points at me.