by Adele Abbott
Kathy had decided to give herself the day off. It seemed that sister of mine never did any work these days. She just stayed at home and calculated all her profits.
Jealous? Me? Of course I was.
As I walked up the driveway, Kathy tapped her watch. “I thought you said you’d be here for eight o’clock.”
“Relax, it’s only ten past. It’s not like you have to be anywhere.”
“I just got a cryptic text from Jack. He said I should remind you to shake it all about. What does that mean?”
“Nothing. He thinks he’s funny.”
“Come in. I thought we could have our tea in the orangery.”
“If you say so.” While Kathy made the drinks, I went through to the conservatory and took a seat by the window. Outside in the garden, the two gnomes spotted me, and gave me a little wave. Kathy walked in just as I was waving back to them.
“What is it with you and those gnomes? The last time you were here, I caught you talking to them. Now, you’re waving to them.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I wasn’t waving to them. I was—err—I was just swatting a fly. I hope you’re rotating the gnomes, like you promised you would.”
“I’m not sure why you would care, but yes, Pete does it once a week.” She handed me my tea.
“There’s sugar in this.”
“Sorry, I forgot that you’d stopped taking it. Do you want me to make you another one?”
“No, it’s all right. I’ll soldier on.”
“I have custard creams.” She held out a plate full of them. And much to my relief, they had not been mixed with other, inferior biscuits.
“Thanks, Kathy.” I took a bite. “Ugh, this is soft.”
“No, it’s not.”
“I’m telling you, it’s soft. Where did you get these from?”
“I picked up a box of them from the local cash & carry. They were half the normal price.”
“I’m not surprised. Have you checked the sell-by date?”
“No one takes any notice of those. Eat it and stop moaning.”
Just then, I heard a clomping sound out in the hallway, and then Lizzy came in on crutches; her left leg was in a cast.
“Lizzie? What happened to you?”
“Hi, Auntie Jill. I broke it last Friday, playing netball.”
I turned to Kathy. “How come you didn’t tell me?”
“She’s fine. Aren’t you, Lizzie?”
“Yeah, but the doctor says it’ll be a few weeks before the pot comes off.”
Kathy’s phone rang. “Sorry, I need to take this. It’s the manager of one of the shops.”
She disappeared out of the conservatory.
“Auntie Jill, while Mum’s not here, could I have a word?”
“Sure. What is it?”
She hobbled a little closer, and said in a hushed voice, “Do you remember when I was little, and I used to see ghosts?”
“Your mum told me that you’d come through that phase.”
“It wasn’t a phase!” Lizzie said, clearly much louder than she’d intended. “I still see them. I’ve just stopped talking about it. Mum and Dad never believed me, and Mikey made fun of me.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“I was wondering if I might be able to talk to that friend of yours again. The one who’s into ghosts.”
“You mean Mad?”
“Yeah. Would you ask her if she’ll talk to me sometime?”
“What about your Mum? I’m not sure she’d approve.”
“I’m not going to tell her.” Lizzie was close to tears. “You won’t, will you?”
“I—err—”
“Please, Auntie Jill.”
“Okay. I’ll have a word with Mad and see what she says.”
“Thanks.”
Kathy walked back into the room. “What have you two been talking about?”
“Lizzie was just telling me how she broke her leg.”
“I’m going up to my room now, Mum.” Lizzie hobbled out of the conservatory.
“Hey, Jill, you’ll never guess what Pete and I are thinking of buying.” Kathy drank the rest of her tea.
“Please tell me it isn’t more gnomes.”
“Definitely not, although Pete would buy another twenty of them if I let him. I told him I don’t mind having a few more garden ornaments, as long as they’re not gnomes.”
“If it isn’t gnomes, what is it that you’re going to buy?”
“A holiday home.”
“What! You must be raking it in if you can afford to do that.”
“We’re doing okay.”
“Whereabouts?”
“We thought the south of France, maybe.”
“I’m clearly in the wrong line of business.”
“You, Jack and Florence will be able to go there too.”
“How much will you charge us?”
“Nothing, of course. What do you think I am? By the way, you’ll never guess who I bumped into in town at the weekend.”
“It wasn’t a squirrel selling donuts, was it?”
“I really do worry about you sometimes, Jill. It was Rita Reed.”
“You say that name as though I should know who she is.”
“Of course you do. She lived across the road from us when we were kids. You must remember RiRi.”
“RiRi! Yeah, I remember her now. Come to think of it, I bumped into someone on the high street yesterday. She obviously knew me, but I had no idea who she was. I reckon that must have been RiRi. We exchanged phone numbers.”
“You gave your phone number to someone you didn’t recognise?”
“I was embarrassed to ask her who she was. Wasn’t she the one with the metal detector?”
“Yeah, she was always up in the meadows with that thing. It looks like it paid off for her, though.”
“How do you mean?”
“She was telling me that she’s a coin collector now. She’s just opened a small shop in town.”
“Sounds exciting.” I yawned.
“Talking of rare coins, did you hear about that boy scout who found that rare ten-pence?”
“I heard something about it.”
“It sounds like someone must have given it to him when they bought his cookies. I bet they’re kicking themselves. Still, it’s gone to a good cause. I love feelgood stories like that, don’t you?”
“I can’t get enough of them.”
***
When I arrived at the office, I was confronted with a sight I never thought I’d see. Mrs V was sitting, cross-legged, on the desk, but that’s not what took me by surprise. Seated next to her, was Winky. He too appeared to be meditating, and was making a strange noise, which I assumed was the feline equivalent of a hum. Neither of them had noticed me, so I crept on by to my office.
There were four pigeons on the window ledge: Bobby had one wing around Briana, and Bertie was cuddled up to Bianca.
“Hi, guys. How’s it hanging?”
“Life’s really good, thanks to you, Jill,” Bobby said.
“We wanted to thank you for reuniting us,” Bertie chirped.
“It was my pleasure. It’s nice to see you two boys looking so happy.”
“The thing is, Jill,” Bobby said. “We have some bad news.”
“What now?”
“I’m afraid Bertie and I will be moving out.”
“Where are you going?”
“We’re going to move in with Briana and Bianca on their ledge. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I’ll miss our little conversations, obviously, but I’m really pleased that the four of you have found true love.”
“If there’s ever anything we can do for you, Jill,” Bertie said. “You only have to whistle.”
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”
Thirty minutes later, the door opened and Raymond Double, AKA Rock, walked in. I really wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation, but if he’d come to argue the toss about paying my bill, he was go
ing to get short shrift. I’d put in the hours and uncovered the person who had been sabotaging his lookalikes business. It wasn’t my fault if he was too stubborn (or stupid) to accept my findings.
As he approached my desk, he smiled, and produced a bunch of flowers from behind his back.
“I hope you’ll accept these by way of an apology.”
“Thanks. They’re lovely.”
“I’m sorry I was so dismissive of your findings. It’s just that I’ve known Wayne for such a long time, and I didn’t want to believe he’d do something so despicable.”
“I assume something has happened to change your mind?”
“After I’d had time to reflect on what you’d said, I began to wonder if I was giving him too much benefit of the doubt, so I set up a little trap.”
“What kind of trap?”
“I waited until I was sure he and I were alone, then I pretended to take a booking for a Ruby Red lookalike. Normally, I enter all bookings into the register, but I deliberately didn’t do that this time. That way, I knew the only two people who knew about it were me and Wayne. The booking was meant to be for The Rhubarb Club.”
“The what club?”
“Rhubarb. It’s a small jazz club here in town. Haven’t you heard of it?”
“No, but then jazz isn’t really my thing.”
“The owner is a friend of mine. He’d agreed that I could use his club’s name, and he promised to let me know if anyone contacted him about his ‘booking’. Sure enough, the next day, some guy turns up and offers to provide a Ruby Red lookalike for half the price that I was charging. That was all the proof I needed because the only person who could have tipped him off was Wayne.”
“What do you intend to do about it, Rock?”
“I’ve already done it. I’ve kicked Wayne off my books.’”
“Do you plan on telling the police?”
“No, I still can’t bring myself to do that. He’s just lost his livelihood. I don’t want to pile on the agony by taking him to court as well.”
“That’s very generous of you. A lot of people would.”
“I guess I’m just a big softie. Anyway, like I said, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”
“Consider it forgotten.”
“Thanks.” He turned to leave, but then hesitated. “I have to ask, Jill. Why is your receptionist sitting on the desk, humming, with a cat by her side?”
“She left her dog at home.”
***
I was a little nervous about my visit to the HQ of Wash-on-Wheels Motorcycle Club. I’d followed Alison’s directions to a crumbling building, on a quiet back street near to the old gas works. From the outside, there was nothing to identify the building, and I wasn’t even sure I was at the right place. The door was locked, so I pressed the red button next to it and waited. A minute later, the door sprang open and a tall guy, clad in biker gear, stepped out. He had long greasy hair, and a cigarette stub wedged behind his ear.
After looking me up and down, he said, “Hello, sweetcheeks. If you’re looking for the beauty spa, it’s on the next street.”
“Actually, I’m looking for Wash-on-Wheels.”
“You sure about that?”
“Tony, move out of the way.” Alison stepped out of the door. “Sorry about him, Jill.”
“Who is she, anyway?” Tony took the cigarette stub from behind his ear, popped it into his mouth and lit it.
“Jill’s here to see Chains,” Alison said.
“No one tells me anything.” He stepped aside.
“Come in, Jill.” She led the way inside.
I’d expected the room to smell like motor oil and sweaty armpits, but surprisingly it had the aroma of potpourri. At the far end of the room, a couple of men were playing pool. In one corner, a game of cards was in progress. The others, mainly men but a few women, had all fallen silent and were staring at me.
Alison led the way to a door behind the pool table.
“I’m going to introduce you to Chains.”
“I’ll go out on a limb and guess that’s not his real name.”
“You’d be right, but it’s what everyone calls him. He’s the club leader.”
“Okay.”
There were three people inside the small room. I assumed the man seated in the centre was the aforementioned Chains because his leather jacket was covered in them. In his mid-forties, his hands were stained with nicotine. Seated to one side of him was a woman, with piercings in her nose and lip, whose hair was a strange shade of orange. On the other side of him was a younger guy who could have been a model if he hadn’t been so ugly.
The big guy broke the silence. “I’m Chains. You must be Jill?”
“Yeah, Jill Maxwell.”
“This is Fi. She’s my lady. And this is Sid, my second in command. Ali reckons you might be able to find out who murdered Killer.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“I’ll be straight with you, Jill, I wasn’t keen on the idea of bringing you in. We normally prefer to fight our own battles.”
“We’ve talked about this, Chains,” Alison said. “If we have any more trouble with the cops, they’ll close this place down for sure.”
“Keep your hair on, Ali, I’ve agreed to talk to her, haven’t I?” He turned back to me. “Grab a seat, Jill, and tell me what you need to know.”
“Alison told me that you believe your colleague was murdered?”
“Colleague?” He grinned. “That’s a bit posh for the likes of us. Killer was a mate. But yeah, we’re sure he was murdered, and if the police had a brain cell between them, they’d have realised that.”
“And you think the murderer might be a member of the rival club from West Chipping.”
“I’d bet my old lady’s life on it.” Fi snarled at him. “Only kidding, doll.” He grabbed her and the two of them began to explore each other’s tonsils with their tongues.
Gross!
“Those Loose Chippings guys are all nutters,” Sid said.
“I take it there’s bad feeling between the two clubs, then?”
“You could say that.” Chains had come up for air. “In the good old days, we’d have gone around there to sort this out ourselves, but we can’t do that nowadays with all the surveillance equipment the cops have at their disposal. There’s CCTV everywhere, and they can trace your phones.”
“Is there any particular reason you believe Loose Chippings wanted Killer dead?”
“Yeah, because of the competition.”
“Sorry? What competition?”
“Didn’t Ali tell you?”
“I thought I’d let you do it,” Alison said.
“There’s an annual competition held between the local motorcycle clubs. It’s been running for almost twenty years.”
“A race, you mean?”
“No. It’s a competition to make the best custom bike; all the big clubs take part. We’ve won it for the last two years and we were all set to win it again until what happened with Killer.”
“I take it he was working on your club’s bike?”
“Yeah, the guy was a genius. I reckon the Loose Chippings guys decided to take him out, so they’d have a shot at the cup.”
“But to kill him? That’s a bit extreme, isn’t it?”
“Like I said, those guys are crazy, particularly that new leader of theirs. His name is Ray Rainer, but everyone calls him Slugger. The guy is insane. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was the one who did it.”
“I plan on taking a close look at the Loose Chippings guys, but I’ll also need to speak to whoever here was closest to Killer.”
“That would be the three of us around this table.”
“In that case, I’d like to take your phone numbers?”
“Why don’t you just talk to us now?” Chains said.
“Because I’d like to speak to you individually, in private.”
“Fair enough. Give Jill your numbers, guys.”
“I assume if I want to
speak to any of the other members, that’ll be okay too?”
“Sure. If anyone gives you any hassle, come and talk to me. I’ll sort them out.”
Chapter 5
When I arrived at the office, Mrs V was back in her chair, knitting.
“Jill, were you here earlier?”
“Yes, but you were meditating at the time, and I have to say that I was a little surprised.”
“Because I was meditating? I did tell you that I’d taken it up. In fact, you saw me doing it yesterday.”
“No, I meant that I was surprised to see Winky sitting next to you on the desk.”
“What?” She looked horrified. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. I assumed you knew he was there. He appeared to be meditating too.”
“I had no idea. If I’d realised, I would’ve kicked him off the desk in double-quick time.”
“Have there been any calls for me?”
“Just the one. Someone was asking if you were Jill Maxwell the quantum physicist. I told them I didn’t think that was you. It’s not, is it?”
“Err, no. I could never get along with physics at school. All those atoms and stuff left me cold.”
Winky was lying on the sofa.
“Okay, out with it, Winky. What were you up to?”
He looked around. “Are you talking to me?”
“I don’t see anyone else in here.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“I saw you on the desk next to Mrs V. What were you doing?”
“I would’ve thought that was obvious. I was meditating.”
“Don’t give me that nonsense.”
“It’s true. I happened to walk through the outer office, and saw the old bag lady on the desk, so I decided to join her. With all the stress I’m under, I thought it might help.”
“Stress? You? You don’t know the meaning of the word. You have the life of—”
I was interrupted by my phone ringing.
“Is that Jill?”
“Yes, Jill Maxwell speaking.”
“It’s Rita Reed.”
“Hi there. I was actually over at Kathy’s this morning, and she told me that she’d bumped into you too.”
“I was just thinking that it would be nice if the three of us could get together for a girls’ night out. We could talk about the old days and catch up on what we’ve all been up to since then. That’s if you can make it.”
