by Adele Abbott
“A girls’ night out sounds good to me. When were you thinking?”
“One day next week? I’m free every night, so I can work around you two.”
“Okay, I’ll speak to Kathy and get back to you.”
“Great. I’ll wait to hear from you.”
When I came off the call, Winky was rolling around in hysterics. “What’s so funny?”
“You are. A girls’ night out? You’ve not been a girl for at least a decade.”
“You’re no spring kitten yourself. Hey, Winky, you know lots of stuff about stuff.”
“That’s true.”
“What do you know about rainbows?”
“I know that there are some really hot cats over at the Rainbow Club, which reminds me, I’ve not been there for ages. I reckon it’s time I paid it a visit.” And with that helpful contribution, he shot out of the window.
I had no idea what the Rainbow Club was, and I was probably better off not knowing.
I’d just started to go through some paperwork when I received another phone call.
“Jill, it’s Ursula. I promised to call you about your daughter’s visit.”
“Is it still on?”
“Of course, I’m looking forward to meeting her. Does she still want to bring a friend?”
“Yes, please. If that’s okay.”
“That’s fine.”
“Her friend’s name is Wendy. Just one thing, though. Wendy is a werewolf. Is that going to be a problem?”
“Not at all. As long as she doesn’t shift while she’s here.”
“She won’t, but please don’t give her any jelly.”
“Why not?”
“For some reason, jelly causes her to change into a werewolf.”
“Right, I’d better make a note of that. No jelly. How does Sunday afternoon at two sound?”
“It sounds good.”
“Great, I’ll see you all then.”
My phone was red hot today. I’d no sooner finished talking to Ursula than it rang again.
“Is that Jill Maxwell?” The woman’s voice seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place her.
“Speaking.”
“It’s Debbie Debbins. We met yesterday at the lido.”
“Oh, yes. Did you manage to speak to the manager?”
“I spoke to Doug last night and told him that you’d been asking about the owners, and that you wanted him to call you.”
“I haven’t heard from him yet.”
“That’s why I’m calling. I’m afraid Doug’s dead.”
“What? How did that happen?”
“When I got to work this morning, I found him face down in the pool. I called the police, and they’ve cordoned the place off.”
“Was it an accident?”
“I’ve no idea, but I thought I should let you know.”
***
I was halfway home when the glove compartment popped open and both Henry and Henrietta appeared.
“Hello, you two.”
“Have you got a minute, Jill?” Henrietta said.
“Sure.”
“We’ve been talking a few things over, haven’t we, Henry?”
“That’s right.” He nodded. “The thing is, Jill, now that Henrietta and I are an item, we don’t feel there’s enough room in this glove compartment for the two of us.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t afford to buy a bigger car.”
“We wouldn’t expect you to do that. No, we were thinking that maybe we should move to a house.”
“Hang on, I thought you two were car elves.”
“We are, and we’ve always lived in cars, but we got to thinking: What’s to stop us living somewhere other than a car? Who would know? It might take a little getting used to, but we’d definitely have more space.”
“That sounds like a great idea. Are you going to move back to Candlefield?”
“No way.” Henrietta jumped in. “We both prefer it here in the human world. I could never go back to living in Candlefield where there’s no internet. We were actually wondering if we could move in with you?”
“Definitely not.” I hadn’t intended to be quite so blunt, and felt bad when I saw the disappointment on their faces. “Obviously, I’d love for you to move in with us, but Florence has—err—elfitis.”
“What’s that?”
“She’s allergic to elves.”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“I’m not surprised. It’s a very rare condition.”
“That’s really disappointing.” Henry sighed. “I don’t suppose you know of anywhere else we could live, do you?”
“Surely, you could live anywhere. It’s not like humans can see you, is it?”
“That’s something else we’ve been discussing. It can feel very isolated only being visible to sups such as you. It’s as though most of the population is ignoring us.”
“That’s why I suggested that you go back to Candlefield.”
“That’s not happening,” Henrietta said. “I’d go crazy if I couldn’t check my Facebook.”
“I’m not sure what you’re going to do, then.”
“Henrietta came up with a backup plan in case we couldn’t move in with you, didn’t you, sugar? Why don’t you tell Jill?”
“Okay, but you must promise not to tell the rogue retrievers.”
“Err, okay.”
“I managed to get hold of some Elf-2-Stone potion on the black market in Candlefield.”
“What’s that?”
“It will allow humans to see us.”
“Whoa! Won’t that freak them out?”
“No, that’s the whole point. They’ll just see us as stone figurines.”
“As long as we remember not to talk,” Henry chipped in.
“Hang on.” I was still trying to get my head around this. “Are you telling me that you can turn yourselves into stone figurines?”
“Yes, as long as we keep taking the potion.”
“Would I see you as a stone figurine too?”
“Yes, but we’ll still be able to talk to you. What do you think, Jill?”
“This Elf-2-Stone stuff sounds like something you’ve just made up.”
“Says the woman who reckons her daughter has elfitis.”
Touché.
“If we can’t stay at your house, Jill, do you have any idea where we could go?”
“Actually, I might know somewhere.”
“Really?”
“Don’t go getting your hopes up because it’s a longshot.”
“When will you know?”
“You’re going to have to give me a few days.”
“Thanks, Jill. You’re the best.”
So true.
As I approached the village, I noticed a new poster at the side of the road. It read:
Afternoon tea – Now available ONLY at Hotel First Time
Unbelievable! Did my grandmother have no scruples whatsoever? Of course she didn’t.
I drove through the village and parked outside the hotel. As soon as the receptionist saw me, she picked up the phone. “Your grandmother?”
“Yes, please, and tell her it’s urgent.”
Much to my surprise, just a couple of minutes later, Grandma came hurrying down the stairs.
“I hope you have some news for me about the lido.”
“Can we talk in your office, Grandma?”
“If we must. Come on, I have lots to do.” As soon as we were in her office, she was on my case. “So, what’s happening with the lido?”
“I’ve no idea. I’ve not found anything out yet.”
“Why are you wasting my time, then?”
“I just saw your poster.”
“It’s good, isn’t it? I have them all over the village.”
“It’s very distasteful.”
‘What do you mean, distasteful? I designed those posters myself.”
“I don’t mean the design of the poster. I mean the fact that you’ve put them up so
soon after poor Miss Drinkwater was murdered.”
“Poor Miss Drinkwater? You didn’t even like her.”
“That’s beside the point. The woman was murdered.”
“That’s hardly my fault, is it? I didn’t kill her.”
“The least you could do is to show a little respect.”
“Respect? There’s no room for respect in business, Jill. It’s dog eat dog, and the sooner you realise that, the better.”
“I think you should take them down.”
“There’s more chance of me being struck by lightning in the next thirty seconds than of me taking those posters down.”
The temptation to cast the ‘lightning bolt’ spell was oh so strong.
“I’m leaving.”
“Hold on. What about the lido? What’s happening?”
“I spoke to the assistant manager there yesterday.”
“You should have talked to the manager, not his sidekick.”
“I had planned to, but he was found dead in the swimming pool this morning.”
“How did that happen?”
“I don’t know. I’ve only just found out myself.”
“That proves it. Something is definitely afoot.”
“I know, and I intend to find out what.”
“You’d better be quick about it.”
I was on my way out of the hotel when someone called my name.
“Psst, Jill, over here.” It was Mr Ivers. The very last person I wanted to see. “Quickly, Jill.”
“I am rather busy.”
“This is urgent.” He practically dragged me into what appeared to be a small broom cupboard.
“What are we doing in here, Mr Ivers?”
“I needed to talk to you where no one can hear us. There’s something very strange going on in this hotel.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know this sounds crazy, but there are some very weird creatures in here.”
“My grandmother can be a bit strange, I know.”
“I don’t mean your grandmother. I saw a vampire.”
Oh bum!
“There are no such things as vampires.” I laughed. “Someone must have been wearing fancy dress.”
“I’ve seen other creatures too. I saw an elf-like thing and a fairy.”
“You’ve clearly been overworking. Maybe the stress has got to you.”
“I know what I saw, Jill.”
“I’ve been all over this hotel, and I can promise you that there are no strange creatures in here. I really think you should take the rest of the day off.”
“Your grandmother would kill me.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll clear it with her. Go home and have a lie down.”
“Okay. I haven’t been sleeping very well lately.”
As soon as he’d left, I headed back to Grandma’s office.
“That was quick,” she said. “Have you got news on the lido?”
“No, I haven’t, but I do have disturbing news about Mr Ivers.”
“Don’t tell me he’s gone and dropped dead. How am I supposed to keep this place ticking over if people will insist on dying?”
“He isn’t dead, but he did just tell me that he’s seen a vampire, an elf and a fairy in the hotel.”
“He can’t have. The potion wouldn’t let him see them.”
“Clearly the potion isn’t working.”
“What did you say to him?”
“I think I managed to convince him that he must have imagined it, and that he was overworked. I sent him home and told him to rest.”
“You did what?”
“You can’t run the risk of him being here until you sort that potion out.”
“Okay. I’ll sort it. There won’t be any more problems.”
“There had better not be. We can’t have Mr Ivers telling the world that this hotel is full of paranormal creatures.”
***
Jack and a very disgruntled Buddy greeted me at the door.
I glanced around. “Where’s Florence?”
“Donna asked if she could go to their house after school, just for an hour or so. She should be back any minute now. Didn’t I see you drive past a few minutes ago?”
“I’ve just been up to the hotel to have a few choice words with Grandma.”
“What’s she done now?”
“Have you seen those posters of hers all around the village?”
“You mean the ones about the afternoon tea?”
“Yes, that woman is despicable. Miss Drinkwater is still warm in her grave, and Grandma is already trying to drum up trade for afternoon tea.”
“What did she say?”
“She ignored me as usual. She said there was no room for respect in business, and that it was a dog-eat-dog world.”
Buddy yelped.
“Sorry, Buddy. I only meant that figuratively speaking.”
Unimpressed, he turned tail and walked off into the kitchen.
“Oh dear. Looks like I’ve upset him too.”
“You look exhausted, Jill.”
“I am. I’ve had a lousy day, and I’ve just discovered that a potential witness in the lido case was found face-down in the swimming pool this morning. All I want to do tonight is kick off my shoes, have a nice glass of wine and some chocolates, and fall asleep in front of the TV.”
The door flew open behind me, and Florence came running in. Donna and Wendy were behind her, standing in the doorway.
“Come in, you two.”
“We won’t if you don’t mind, Jill,” Donna said. “We need to get back for our dinner.”
“Was Florence a good girl?”
“Of course. She always is. The two of them played really nicely.”
I’m glad you came over because I have some good news for Wendy and Florence.”
“What’s that, Mummy?” Florence said.
“I’ve just found out that you can both go to see Ursula, Queen of the Unicorns, on Sunday afternoon.” They both squealed with joy and began to jump around. “That’s if it’s okay with you, Donna?”
“Definitely. Wendy has talked about nothing else. Thanks for arranging this, Jill.”
“No problem.”
“There’s just one thing. Will you warn the queen about—”
“The jelly? I already have.”
“Thanks. Come on, Wendy, we’d better get going. Bye, Florence.”
Florence waved them both off.
“Did you have a nice time at Wendy’s, darling?”
“Yes, Mummy. We found three caterpillars in their back garden.”
“That’s great. Jack, how long will dinner be?”
“About fifteen minutes.”
“Good because I’m starving.”
“Don’t forget, Mummy, we have to practise our dance again tonight.”
“I don’t suppose we could miss just one night, could we? Mummy’s really tired.”
“You promised, Mummy, because you were rubbish yesterday. If we don’t keep practising, we won’t win.”
“Oh, okay then.”
“Is it all right if I go and play upstairs?”
“Yes, off you go, darling.”
So much for my relaxing evening in front of the TV.
Chapter 6
Jack looked up from his breakfast. “Why are you hobbling, Jill?”
“I twisted my foot when I was practising the dance with Florence.”
“You never mentioned it last night.”
“You know me. I’m not one to complain.”
“Right.” Jack practically spat out his muesli.
“It seems to have tightened up overnight.”
“Let me take a look at it.”
“There’s nothing to see. It’s internal.”
“Internal? Right.”
“I don’t know why you’re grinning. It’s very painful. If it doesn’t improve by Saturday, you might have to take my place in the competition.”
“That’s. Not. Happening.”
<
br /> “But what if I can’t walk?”
“First, the competition is for mothers and daughters, so there’s no way I can take part. And, second, there’s nothing wrong with your foot.”
“Just wait until you injure yourself. Don’t expect any sympathy from me.”
“I’m going to see a unicorn!” Florence came charging into the kitchen. “How many days is it now, Mummy?”
“It’s Wednesday today, so how many days are there until Sunday?”
She put up her fingers and counted out the days. “Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Four! That’s a really long time.”
“It’s not all that long, pumpkin,” Jack said. “And you have the dance competition to look forward to as well, remember. Mummy was just saying how excited she is about it. How is she doing with the dance practice?”
“She put the wrong leg in twice again last night, didn’t you, Mummy?”
“Hmm.”
“Sit down, Jill.” Jack patted the chair next to him. “Why don’t you rest your leg while I get you some breakfast?”
“I can’t. I have to call at Kathy’s on my way into the office.”
“Weren’t you over there just yesterday?”
“Yes, but there’s something I need to give her, and I want to sort out our girls’ night out next week.”
“Girls?”
“Don’t you start.” I gave him a peck on the cheek, and then bent down and gave Florence a kiss. “I’ll see you both tonight.”
I was almost out of the kitchen door when Jack shouted after me, “I’m glad to see your foot seems to be okay now.”
Drat! Foiled again.
***
On my way to Kathy’s house, I pulled into a lay-by, and opened the glove compartment.
“Henry, Henrietta, could I have a quick word, please?”
“Of course, Jill.”
The two of them jumped onto the passenger seat next to me.
“I think I may have found somewhere for you to live.”
“Really? That was jolly quick.” Henry beamed. “Where?”
“My sister’s house, but there are a couple of catches.”
“Go on.”
“You wouldn’t actually be living in the house; you’d be in the garden.”
“I’m not sure that will work,” Henrietta said. “We’re not used to living outside.”
