Witch Is Where Rainbows End (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 40)

by Adele Abbott

  Sid had tried to suggest that I’d fallen for Slugger’s charm offensive. What nonsense. I’m a total professional who would never allow my judgement to be clouded so easily.

  Mind you, he was kind of cute.

  According to Slugger, Killer had asked if he could return to Loose Chippings, and Slugger had welcomed him back. Unfortunately, the only person who could verify that was Billy, and the last time I’d seen that particular individual, I’d decked him and walked across his chest.

  And what about Sid? He admitted that they had argued because he had failed to repay a loan to Killer. Had he really settled the debt by giving Killer his gold ring? I only had his word on that.

  I wasn’t sure what to think about Fi. Her love life was certainly colourful. Was it possible that jealousies had arisen? Was Killer’s death a crime of passion? I probably wouldn’t have considered her as a suspect if I hadn’t spotted her tattoo. She claimed to have been visiting her parents’ grave on the day that Killer was murdered. If that were true that gave her an alibi.

  There was of course another possibility. What if the so called ‘S’ on the petrol tank was a red herring? What if Andy had made the mark himself to put me off the scent? I needed to have another conversation with him.

  Mrs V popped her head around the door. “Jill, I didn’t realise you were back.”

  “You were meditating, and I didn’t like to disturb you.”

  She glanced across at the three cats. “What are they doing in here?”

  “They’re just Winky’s friends. Actually, Mrs V, there’s something I’d like you to do for me.”

  “Does it involve those cats?”

  “No, of course not.” I scribbled Fi’s name on a slip of paper and handed it to her. “According to this young woman, her parents both died on the same day, three years ago, and are buried in Halifax. Would you see if you can find any record of them, and if you do, will you try to confirm the date they died?”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  ***

  It was time for my night out with Kathy and Rita.

  “Aren’t you taking the car?” Jack said.

  “No, I want to be able to have a drink. I’ll get a taxi.”

  “Shall I wait up for you?”

  “There’s no need. I doubt I’ll be late, but who knows.”

  The taxi from Middle Tweaking to Washbridge cost a small fortune and would be even more expensive on the way back. This night out had better be worth it.

  Kathy and Rita were already outside Wash Upon A Time when the cab dropped me off.

  “Late as usual.” Kathy tapped her watch.

  “Sorry. The taxi was late.”

  “That’s what comes of living out in the sticks.”

  “I didn’t realise you were living in Middle Tweaking, Jill,” Rita said. “Charlie and I looked at a property there, but we decided it was a bit too far out.”

  “Let’s go inside.” Kathy opened the door. “A girl could die of thirst out here.”

  “I’ll get the first round.” Rita took out her purse. “What’s everyone having?”

  “We should have cocktails,” Kathy jumped in before I had the chance to speak.

  “Cocktails it is.” Rita headed for the bar.

  “What do you think of this place?” Kathy looked around.

  “It’s a bit much.” The bar looked like it had been designed by a team of hipsters on a bad day.

  “I like it. It’s cool.”

  “You wouldn’t know cool if it crept up behind you and bit you on the bum. I assume Charlie is Rita’s partner. Is she married?”

  “Yeah. Apparently, they moved here for his job.”

  “Oh? I assumed it was Rita who wanted to move back.”

  “Here you are ladies.” Rita handed us both a green coloured cocktail. “The barman assured me this is the best drink in the house.”

  Kathy needed no encouragement to try it. “Mmm. That’s good. Try it, Jill.”

  I took a sip. “It’s got quite a kick.”

  “Okay, you two,” Rita came to sit in between us. “I want to know what you’ve been up to while I’ve been gone.”

  The next hour was spent with Kathy and me bringing Rita up to speed. We told her about our families, our homes, and of course our careers.

  “It sounds like your business is doing really well, Kathy. How many shops do you have now?”

  “Seven with another two in the planning stage.”

  “I’m impressed. And your job sounds fascinating, Jill, but isn’t it dangerous?”

  “Not really. It’s quite boring most of the time. Anyway, enough about us. What about you? Kathy told me that you moved back here because of your husband’s work?”

  “That’s right, but I’m afraid I can’t talk about it.”

  “Now I’m really intrigued.” Kathy drank the last of her cocktail. “What does he do, Rita?”

  “Kathy,” I snapped. “She’s just said she can’t talk about it.”

  “Sorry, girls. All I can say is that he works for the government.”

  “Is he a spy?” Kathy eyed my cocktail. “Are you going to drink that, Jill?”

  “No, he isn’t a spy.” Rita laughed.

  “Jill?” Kathy gestured to my drink.

  “You can have it. It’s too strong for me. Kathy said you have a coin shop, Rita?”

  “That’s right. I’ve been interested in coins ever since I was a kid. A few years ago, Charlie suggested I turn the hobby into a business. Until now, I’ve only traded online, but when Charlie told me about the move, he suggested I open a shop here. I think he did it to sweeten me up because he knew I was happy living where we were.”

  “But you’re glad to be back, aren’t you?” Kathy said.

  “Yeah. I’m really excited to see how the shop does, and of course it’s been nice to reconnect with you two.”

  I’d expected us to move on to another bar, but the other two seemed perfectly happy to stay put. Kathy appeared determined to try every cocktail in the place. After a couple of glasses of wine, I moved onto orange juice. I was too old for hangovers.

  It was almost ten-thirty, and I was just thinking about calling a taxi when raised voices at the bar caught our attention.

  “That big guy has had way too much to drink,” Kathy said. The irony of her comment was clearly lost on her.

  “It looks like it could turn violent,” Rita said.

  She was right. The barman and the unruly customer looked as though they were about to come to blows, but that wasn’t the only thing that had caught my attention. The drunk guy was a werewolf, and he was showing all the signs of being about to shift. If that happened, there would be a bloodbath.

  “Stay here, you two!” I stood up.

  “Don’t get involved, Jill!” Kathy shouted after me, but I was already homing in on the inebriated werewolf.

  “Raymond, fancy seeing you here.” I took the werewolf’s arm. “Can I have a quick word?”

  “I’m not Raymond.” He managed to slur.

  Ignoring his protests, I used the ‘power’ spell to drag him out the back exit into the alleyway.

  “What are you doing, lady? I told you I’m not Raymond.” As he spoke, he started to transform.

  “My mistake.” I cast the ‘shrink’ spell, picked up the tiny werewolf, and put him in a half-empty industrial size rubbish bin. “Sleep it off in there.”

  “Are you okay, Jill?” Rita said when I re-joined them.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You could have got yourself punched,” Kathy said. “Where is he?”

  “I told him he was making a fool of himself and that he should go home.”

  “And he left? Just like that?”

  “Yeah. I can be very persuasive when I want to be.”

  Chapter 21

  The next morning, as soon as Florence had finished her breakfast, she headed outside on caterpillar watch.

  “From what you said, it sounds like Kathy is going
to have a thick head this morning.” Jack grinned.

  “Serves her right. She must have tried every cocktail in that place.”

  “What did you think of that new bar?”

  “It was a bit too hipster for my liking. There’s a limit to how many bare ankles I can take in one night.”

  “What do you reckon your friend’s husband’s top-secret job is?”

  “I’ve no idea, but if he works for the government, it’ll be something boring, that’s for sure.”

  “It’s a good thing you were there last night, or the situation might have turned nasty with that werewolf.”

  “What an idiot. He’s the kind who gets sups a bad reputation.”

  “Are you going to let him out of the bin?”

  “I suppose so, although I’m tempted to let the garbage men take him to the landfill.”

  “Archie and Angie are still sleeping, Mummy.” Florence was standing in the doorway, hands on her waist. “It’s been ages.”

  “It’s only been a few days. You’ll just have to be patient.”

  “But what if they come out while I’m at school?”

  “They won’t. I had a word with them yesterday.”

  ***

  After parking the car, I headed over to the alleyway behind Wash Upon A Time. As I approached the huge bin, I could hear a tapping sound coming from inside.

  The tiny werewolf, who had resumed human form, had to shelter his eyes from the light.

  “Help me, please. Someone threw me in here.”

  “That would be me.”

  He blinked a few times until his eyes became accustomed to the light. “Why would you do something like that?”

  “Because you were drunk and just about to shift.”

  “I would never do that in the human world.”

  “Maybe not when you’re sober, but trust me, it happened. Fortunately, I was able to get you out of the bar before anyone saw you.”

  “What else did I do?”

  “You were mouthing off and threatening the bar staff.”

  “I’m really sorry. My fiancée broke off our engagement yesterday, after five years.”

  “Five years? She was probably fed up of waiting for you to marry her.”

  “That’s what she said. I only went out to drown my sorrows.”

  “You were lucky there were no rogue retrievers around.”

  “I’m really grateful for what you did.”

  “Just don’t go making a habit of it.”

  “I won’t. I promise. I’m Jonathan, by the way.”

  “Jill.”

  “Do you think you could get me out of here?”

  I reversed the ‘shrink’ spell. “You can climb out yourself now.”

  Once he was out, he brushed himself down. “I stink, and I have a thumping headache.”

  “It’s no more than you deserve. Anyway, I have to get going.”

  “Thanks again.”

  Mrs V had a large bag of marshmallows on her desk and, judging by the way she was struggling to speak, she had at least a couple of them in her mouth.

  “Sorry, Mrs V, what did you say?”

  “I do apologise, Jill. Mary Merry bought these for me and they’re extremely moreish. Would you like one?”

  “No, thanks.” I could no longer look at a marshmallow without thinking about those pesky wood nymphs.

  “I managed to track down the information you wanted.”

  “About Fi’s parents?”

  “Yes. It actually proved to be much easier than I expected. I can confirm they are buried together in Halifax, and that they did die three years ago on the same day.”

  “And was it the date I gave you?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Thanks, Mrs V.”

  “Are you sure you wouldn’t like a marshmallow?”

  “I’m positive.”

  “Why didn’t you get a couple for me?” Winky said.

  “A couple of what?”

  “Marshmallows.”

  “Cats don’t like marshmallows.”

  “This one does.”

  “Sorry, but it’s too late now.”

  “Never mind. I do have a favour to ask you, though.”

  “What’s that?”

  “This sofa.”

  “What about it?”

  “Just look at it. It’s had it.”

  “It looks alright to me.”

  “You wouldn’t think so if you had to sit on it all day. I think you should buy me a new one.”

  “I can’t afford a new sofa.”

  “I wouldn’t ask, but those days I spent on the street have brought on my rheumatism, so I need something comfortable to sit on.” From behind his back, he produced a small glossy brochure. “Something like these.”

  “Feline Sofa World?”

  “They’re the country’s leading feline sofa specialists.”

  “These prices are insane.”

  “You can’t put a price on your health.”

  “I can, and this is way too expensive.”

  “How about if I find something a bit cheaper from one of the high street shops?”

  “If you find something a lot cheaper, I’ll think about it.”

  Based on what Mrs V had just told me, I could rule out Fi as a suspect, which left me with just three candidates: Slugger, Sid and Andy. With Killer out of the picture, Andy would once again be the top mechanic at Wash-on-Wheels. Could that have been motivation enough for him to commit murder? I needed to have another conversation with him.

  “Andy, it’s Jill Maxwell. I wondered if we could have another chat, please?”

  “I’ve told you everything I know.”

  “I only need a few minutes of your time, I promise. I could come over now if that works for you.”

  “I’m just on my way to the dentist. One of my fillings dropped out last night.”

  “How about later? Would two o’clock be okay?”

  “I guess so.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you then.”

  ***

  Another visit to Candlefield Library was called for.

  “Hello again.” The young elf bounced across the room to greet me.

  “Hi. Doesn’t it get tiring, bouncing around on those springs all day?”

  “It does, actually. I’ve put in a request for a pogo stick, but getting approval for new equipment can take ages.”

  His mention of the pogo stick reminded me of Janice who often frequented Little Jack’s corner shop in Smallwash.

  “That sucks.”

  “Tell me about it. I’m Orlando by the way, but everyone calls me Orland.”

  “Oh?”

  “No, just Orland. Without the ‘O’.”

  “Oh?”

  “Precisely. The nickname started at school, and it kind of stuck.”

  “Oh. I mean right. I’m Jill.”

  “Do you want to take another look in the archives? I spoke to Barry after you left, he said you were great company.”

  “That was very nice of him, but actually I’m hoping to find information on AnonFront.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine. If this were the human world, I could simply Google it.”

  “Goo what?”

  “Google. It’s an internet thing.”

  “I’ve heard about the internet. Someone said the Combined Sup Council were looking into introducing it to Candlefield.”

  “I wouldn’t hold your breath. Do you have any suggestions where I should start my search?”

  “AnonFront? Hmm, do you think it could be a company name?”

  “That would be my first guess.”

  “Okay, let me check the Candlefield Company Register. They’re down the other end.”

  And off he sprang with me in hot pursuit.

  “Shall I get it?” I offered, as he tried in vain to reach the top shelf where the twenty-six volumes of the register were kept.

  “Yes, please. The sooner I
get that pogo stick the better.”

  “No problem.” I grabbed volume ‘A’ of the register and flicked through the index. “Here they are.”

  I made a note of the company’s address and then put the book back on the shelf.

  “Is there anything else I can help you with today, Jill?”

  “No, that’s all I need, thanks.”

  “Before you go, could I trouble you to sign my petition?”

  “What petition is that?”

  “The buy Orland a pogo stick petition.”

  “Of course. I’ll be glad to.”

  ***

  AnonFront were based in a small office, sandwiched in between two sandwich shops. Once through the door, I was confronted with a narrow empty room. To my left was a small sliding window with a bell next to it. Just in case anyone couldn’t work it out for themselves, there was a useful sign below the bell that read: Ring bell for attention.

  I did as instructed, and moments later, the little window slid open.

  “Yes?”

  “Yes?”

  “Yes?”

  There was not one, but three tiny elves peering through the window.

  “Hi, there. I was hoping you might be able to help me.”

  “We’d be happy to,” said the second elf. “Which of our service packages did you require?”

  “I—err—haven’t quite made my mind up yet. Remind me again of the options, would you?”

  “There are three levels,” the first elf said. “Bronze, silver and gold.”

  “What exactly would I get in the gold package?”

  “Total anonymity. We would provide a mailing address, including post forwarding, and a telephone answering service twenty-four hours a day.”

  “I see. And no one would be able to track down my true address?”

  “That’s correct.”

  “And how much does that cost?”

  “Three thousand pounds a year.”

  “That sounds very reasonable.”

  “Would you like me to get the forms for you to complete?” The second elf was clearly eager to seal the deal.

  “In a minute, maybe. First, though, it’s important to me that I only do business with ethical companies.”