We Were Lost (A Southern Heroes Novel Book 5)

by Michelle Heard

  “I’m dealing as best I can, Emma. Right now, having fun works for me.” I walk over to the back of the car. “I’m sorry I made you worry. It won’t happen again. Let’s go home.”

  My eyes jump to Aiden, then Zac, and I hate that they are seeing me like this.

  Emma opens the door and waits for me to get in before she follows. “You wouldn’t just stand by and watch me suffer. You didn’t, remember? You jumped in and took over. You saved me, Chloe, and I’ll be damned if I’m just gonna sit back and watch you destroy your life.” A suppressed sob thickens her words.

  I feel like rubbish for putting her through this kind of stress. “I promise I’ll be more careful.” I squeeze out a smile to reassure her that I mean what I’m saying. I can’t believe I let myself spiral so out of control that I ended up hurting Emma. Remorse and shame burn hot through my chest making me feel lower than pond scum.

  “You’re my family,” she says.

  I reach for her hand and give it a squeeze while keeping my head low so I don’t have to face the two men.

  After getting home, I take a shower to wash the previous night’s filth off me. Once I look better, I walk to the nursery, knowing I’ll find Emma there.

  Sitting down on one of the rocking chairs, I fluff out the teddy bear and place it on my lap before giving Emma my best remorseful smile.

  “Are you feeling better?” Emma asks from where she’s sitting opposite me, folding the last of the baby clothes.

  “I should be asking you that,” I sigh and let my fingers trail softly over the fluffy fur of the bear. “I’m so sorry for upsetting you, Emma. It just gets hard to cope sometimes.” I look at her and force another smile to my lips. “You know me, I’ve always been one for fun.”

  “Are you really having fun?”

  I glance around the room so she can’t see my eyes and the hurt that must be reflecting in them. “Most of the time.”

  “You can’t go on like this forever.”

  “I’m cursed, and you know that. Why should I risk wanting something more from life? It’s not like I can have it because the same will happen to me.”

  “What happened between your parents won’t happen to you. You’ll find someone you can love and trust, if only you allow yourself open to the possibility.”

  I let out a bitter burst of air. “All men are liars. I have yet to meet one who isn’t. They all just want one thing from you, and once you give it, they’re gone. I’d rather be the one doing the using and leaving.” I turn to face Emma. “But I really hope Aiden is the exception. I’ll kill him if he hurts you.”

  “Aiden is perfect. He’ll never cheat on me. It’s not right that you look at all men the same way just because of what your dad did. They aren’t all cheaters. Take Zac, for instance. He’s just like Aiden, and I can promise you he’ll never cheat.”

  I shake my head. “My mom believed my dad loved her. She never thought he would cheat on her and he did with not one but two bloody whores. It killed her, and it will kill me too if I have to give my heart away only to be cheated on.”

  My throat grows thick with memories I’d rather forget. Watching my mum die of sadness cured me of the illusion that men could sweep you off your feet and give you the life you always wanted. Watching my father become unrecognizable was unbearable. He might have loved Mom, but he couldn’t stay faithful to her. If that is love, then I don’t want any of it.

  “One day you’ll see not all men are like that. Aiden opened my eyes to love, and someone will do the same for you.”

  Zac

  I didn’t expect to witness any of that this morning, but I’m glad I did. It explains Chloe a little better.

  Just like me, she’s hurting under the whole act of joking around she’s trying to pull off. Where I choose to deal with my pain in the privacy of my home, she has chosen to drink hers away by the looks of things.

  If Chloe crashes, she’ll take Emma with her, and that doesn’t sit well in my gut. She might bring out the worst in me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care what happens to a fellow human being.

  Knowing I’ll be able to handle Chloe for as long as she’s staying, I make the decision to talk to Aiden about Chloe moving in with me. At least if she’s with me, Emma won’t have to worry.

  “Hey there, Mr. Crab, want to come out of your shell and play?” Hearing Chloe’s voice come over the line, I drop my head into the palm of my hand and almost groan.

  “I’m at work. Can I help you, Chloe?” I grind the words out.

  “Just phoning you like I was told to do. Tonight at seven. See ya,” she sings in my ear and then the line goes dead.

  “Fuck!” I push my chair back and run a hand through my hair. Not another night with her.

  Aiden looks up from his desk. “You okay there?”

  “No, Chloe is your guest,” I let him have it. “Why should I be her entertainment?”

  He laughs it off as if it’s nothing. “It’s about time you start gettin’ out more.”

  “Y’all are gonna be the end of me,” I growl before forcing myself to focus on the case we’re busy with.

  I swear Chloe brings out the worst in me. It’s almost midnight, and I’m watching her dance. She tried to drag me to the dance floor, but there is no way in hell. That’s where I draw the line.

  After the other night, I decided to give in and accompany Chloe, to keep her from causing any more trouble. This way I can keep an eye on her.

  I nurse the whiskey while watching her toss her hair as she moves her hips in a dangerously seductive way. This woman is all fire, and I know I’ll get burned if I stay around her. With no intention of letting it happen, I decide it’s time to go home. I toss the rest of the whiskey back then make my way over to Chloe.

  When I get close, I hear her laughter. Noticing me, her eyes lock with mine.

  I’m not falling for whatever spell she’s trying to weave around me.

  I mouth ‘time to go’ and point at my watch in a very exaggerated way to show how annoyed I feel.

  She grabs hold of my shoulders and presses her body hard to mine. Standing on her toes to reach my ear, she begs, “Just one more drink.”

  She lets go of me and holding up her index finger, with a playful smile. I swear it’s become a game to her to see how much she can aggravate the ever-living-shit out of me.

  I give her a look which says there’s no way I’m letting her drink more. She’s already drunk as it is. But she couldn’t be bothered. She keeps moving torturously slow to the beat pulsing around us, and I can’t help but let my eyes move down her body and take in the ample cleavage that’s there for everyone to see. Knowing she’s wearing practically nothing under that jacket doesn’t help at all.

  I feel a surge of lust I’m not prepared for. Upset with Chloe for winning and myself for feeling attracted to her, I grab hold of her wrist and drag her out of the bar.

  I totally understand she’s going through a hard time, and I try to keep that in mind, but sometimes she just gets the better of me.

  CHAPTER 8

  Chloe

  Waking up with my one arm hanging from the couch, I glare at the morning sun blinding me.

  “Ugh… ek voel soos kak,” I groan as I try to focus through the massive hangover which makes me feel like shit.

  Just then a memory from the night before flashes through my groggy mind. ‘Let’s get it on.’

  Fuck my life. Please tell me I didn’t sing that to Zac while trying to undress him.

  Shooting up into a sitting position my eyes widen as I’m bombarded by more memories.

  Zac trying to stop me from drinking myself into a stupor.

  Zac glaring at me.

  Zac looking miserable as I tried to seduce him.

  “Die arme man.” I close my eyes thinking of poor Zac and how much I must’ve made him suffer.

  Slowly glancing down, my eyes widen some more when I realize I’m only wearing my underwear. Cringing, I peek through one eye until I find my
clothes where they’re hanging neatly over the back of the other couch.

  Glancing to my side, I let out a whimper of shame when I spot Zac’s shirt.

  No. No. No.

  Please tell me I didn’t force myself on him.

  Getting up, I shove my hands in my disheveled hair and groan my mortification out to the world.

  I wanted Zac to have fun, and now I’ve probably traumatized him.

  What the hell did I do?

  Deciding to see how much damage I’ve done I sneak up the stairs. Reaching what I think is the main bedroom, I slowly push the door open.

  I hear water running in the bathroom and freeze like a meerkat. With my eyes on the closed door, I wonder what I’ll say to Zac.

  I’m sorry?

  Thank you?

  Shit, usually I just leave after a one-night stand, but I can’t do that now.

  Ugh… I’m fucked.

  I can’t believe I was so reckless.

  Did we sleep together? Should I ask him or pretend nothing happened?

  Taking the cowardly way out, I sneak back downstairs, drag on my clothes so I can make a run for it.

  I can’t face Zac yet, and I need time to come to terms that I’ve gone too far.

  Zac

  I woke up with a raging hard-on and a half-naked woman sleeping on my damn couch.

  “Fuck the party girl act, Chloe knows what she’s doing, and I won’t let her hurt Emma and Aiden while she’s on this path of destruction.”

  Pulling on my jogging gear, I head out and end up running as if Chloe herself is behind me instead of where I left her – sleeping off her hangover in my house.

  How can one woman upset my life this way? I only met her a couple of days ago.

  Getting home, I still feel as frustrated as fuck, and take a quick shower. After getting dressed, I decide to wake up Chloe. She can go sleep the rest of her hangover off at Aiden’s place.

  When I get downstairs, there’s no sign of Chloe. The damn woman made a run for it while I was showering.

  Then it hits me – Chloe snuck out which might mean she’s embarrassed by her behavior from the night before, or… I let out a burst of laughter.

  “Does she think we slept together?” Grinning because for once I have the upper hand, I grab my keys so I can swing by Aiden’s before work.

  I’m going to enjoy getting back at Chloe, and just maybe I can use this opportunity to tame her wild side a bit.

  On the way to Aiden’s place, I keep an eye out for Chloe, but she must’ve run home because there’s no sign of her.

  After parking my car next to Aiden’s truck, I let myself into the house. Walking into the kitchen a grin spreads over my face when I see Chloe where she’s nursing a cup of coffee.

  Her eyes fall on me, and then they widen over the rim of the cup.

  “Mornin’,” I say as I walk over to the coffee machine to grab some for myself. “Why did you run off?”

  Blinking, her lips part on a surprised breath, which makes my smile widen. Gathering herself, she asks, “Was I supposed to stay for breakfast?”

  “Not runnin’ off like a thief and saying thank you would’ve been a better start to the mornin’.”

  “Thank you?” She sets the cup down on the counter and takes a step closer to me just as Aiden and Emma walk into the kitchen.

  Before either one of them can say something, Chloe smiles but it’s forced, and I see the worry in her eyes, but still she snaps, “What should I thank you for? For making sure I got home or the great sex?”

  I let out a burst of laughter and shake my head as I lean back against the counter, crossing my legs in front of me. “You sound pretty sure that the sex was great.”

  Chloe’s mouth drops open, along with Aiden and Emma’s.

  Chloe crosses her arms over her chest. “Honestly, it couldn’t have been all that great seeing as I don’t remember.”

  I raise my right eyebrow giving her a wouldn’t-you-love-to-know look just to infuriate her more. From the corner of my eye, I notice Aiden and Emma watching us, their eyes darting between Chloe and me.

  “Well, I’m just another man and if a woman throws herself at me, what am I supposed to do?” I grin widely. “On top of that, I had a couple of drinks myself.”

  “So… we slept together?” Chloe asks, looking like she’s about to die from mortification.

  Deciding to keep her hanging a little longer, I finish off my coffee, then smile at her. “To be honest, I don’t know.”

  Feeling damn proud of myself for winning this round, I walk over to Emma and press a kiss to her cheek. “Have a great day, Em.” Looking at Aiden, I ask, “You wanna ride in with me?’

  “Sure,” he answers, and I’m pretty sure he’s only agreeing because he wants to know what happened between Chloe and me.

  As soon as I’m pulling out the driveway, Aiden asks, “Did y’all really sleep together?”

  Laughing, I shake my head. “No, I’m just havin’ some fun by teasin’ Chloe. In all fairness, she put me through hell last night, and I think the shock of not knowin’ what she did might make her think twice about doing somethin’ reckless again.”

  “Are you gonna tell her at some point?”

  “Yeah, when she’s suffered enough.”

  “Careful, Zac. It might sound like you care about her,” Aiden teases.

  “Yeah.” I chuckle, then admit, “I think it’s only human nature to care when you see a person hurtin’ and lost.”

  The moment we get to work, all thoughts of Chloe takes a back seat until later the day when I answer my phone.

  CHAPTER 9

  Chloe

  A couple of days after my disastrous night out with Zac, I wake up at five am, and walk into Emma as she runs for the bathroom. She makes it just in time to the toilet, and dropping to her knees she begins to heave.

  Once she recovers a little, I ask, “Is it just nausea?”

  She shakes her head, her face as white as a ghost. “I have cramps too. It will really suck if I got stomach flu somewhere.”

  My eyebrow rises, and I kneel beside her. “I don’t think it’s stomach flu. It’s time, Sunshine.”

  “What?” Her eyes widen and as she’s about to smile another wave of nausea hits her.

  “I’m going to wake Aiden so we can get you to the hospital.” Not waiting for her reply, I rush to the master bedroom and knock on the door before I push the door open.

  It looks like Aiden just finished getting dressed. “Mornin’.”

  “Hey, I think Emma’s going into labour. We should get her to the hospital.”

  For a second, surprise flashes over Aiden’s face, but then he smiles and rushes toward me. “You sure? Is it time?”

  “Yes, I’ve been around plenty of women going into labour.” He rushes by me as I say, “She’s in the guest bathroom.”

  Watching Aiden help Emma to the car, I smile while thinking how perfect they are together. I’m glad Emma found a man like Aiden. He treats her like the precious soul she is.

  The drive over to the hospital is uneventful, and I’m relieved when the staff allows both Aiden and me to stay with Emma. Once the doctor confirms Emma’s in labour, excitement crackles in the room.

  I keep wetting a facecloth and dabbing the sweat from Emma’s forehead as the contractions come and go.

  “Thank you,” she breathes heavily after an intense contraction. Aiden’s stepped out to let the rest of the family know how Emma’s doing.

  “Thank you for letting me stay with you,” I say warmly and taking hold of her hand, I give it a squeeze.

  Another contraction pulls her stomach into a painful knot, and I begin doing the breathing exercises with her.

  Wiping more sweat from her face, I smile proudly at her. “You’re doing great, Sunshine.”

  Emotional and in pain she begins to cry. “It doesn’t feel like I’m doing great.” She tries to laugh her tears away but fails.

  “You’re almost there. Soon
you’ll hold Laurie in your arms, and you’ll be a mom.”

  Tears spill over her cheeks. “Will I be a good mom?”

  “You will. You’ll be amazing.”

  “I hope so. I want to give her everything I never had.”

  “You will. You and Aiden are going to be the best parents. Don’t doubt yourself and only think of the beautiful life you both created.”

  Another contraction robs her of her breath, and she has to grind her teeth as she groans through the wave of pain.

  Wanting to distract her, I begin to talk, “Did I tell you why I call you Sunshine?”

  She shakes her head while breathing through the pain.

  “It’s because the first time I saw you in class that’s what I thought, and once I got to know you, the name just stayed. You’ve always been a ray of sunshine to me, and you’ll be the same for your daughter. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

  “Love you.” A tear sneaks down the side of her face, and I reach out to gently rub it away.

  “Love you back.”

  Aiden comes back, followed by the doctor.

  “It’s time, Momma,” the doctor says as he takes a seat at Emma’s feet.

  “I’ll be right outside.” Pressing a kiss to her damp forehead, I give her a loving smile.

  She nods, but can’t reply because a sharp contraction begins. Aiden takes my place, looking down at his wife with so much love it brings tears to my eyes.

  I walk out into the hallway and lean back against the wall. With my eyes on the door, I wonder if I’ll ever get to experience motherhood.

  Zac

  I can’t stop staring at Laurie where she’s sleeping in Aiden’s arms. She’s the most beautiful being I’ve ever laid eyes on.

  “How does it feel to be a father?” I ask him.