We Were Lost (A Southern Heroes Novel Book 5)

by Michelle Heard

  I turn slightly, so I’m facing her. “No one would ever get into a relationship if they only thought of what could go wrong.”

  “I know.” Turning my hand over, I weave my fingers with hers.

  Hoping it will help Chloe to open up to me, I begin to talk. “When I met Laurie, and we fell in love, I was worried about her being on the force. I couldn’t tell her to resign, because I was a cop myself. It wouldn’t be fair, so I just had to learn to live with the fear.”

  Chloe’s full attention is on me, and it just proves to me how much she cares about me. She doesn’t expect me to forget about the time I shared with Laurie.

  “I only had three years with Laurie, but honestly, if I had to go into it knowin’ she would die, I’d do it. I wouldn’t think twice about it. Laurie gave me more love in those three years than most people get to experience in a lifetime.”

  Chloe gives me a trembling smile, and not wanting to make her cry, I quickly get to the point. “We can’t let fears hold us back, Chloe. We’d only miss out on the good then.”

  “Yeah, but from everything I’ve heard, Laurie was an amazing woman –”

  Instantly, I read between the lines, and stop Chloe from going further. “Never compare yourself to Laurie. You’re two different people.” Using my free hand, I place a finger under Chloe’s chin, and I nudge her face up so she’ll meet my eyes. “Laurie will always be my first love. I’ll never forget her, and I’ll never stop lovin’ her.”

  “Of course,” Chloe whispers.

  “But that doesn’t mean I can’t love again.” Chloe’s eyes dart away from me, and again I nudge her chin to bring them back to me. “My heart is big enough for both of you.”

  Chloe shakes her head. “I just feel it won’t be fair to Laurie’s memory. I can’t take up space that belongs to such an extraordinary woman.”

  “She would’ve liked you,” I admit, “because you’re extraordinary in your own way.”

  Chloe lets out a small burst of laughter. “I’m sure I would’ve liked her as well.”

  “Laurie will always be a part of my life, but I can only take our memories with me, and that doesn’t mean I can’t make new memories with someone else. I really care about you. I want to be more than friends. I want us to date and to see where these feelings between us can go.” Taking my chance, I ask, “Tell me about your life.”

  A small smile plays around her lips, and she glances up at the ceiling as she says, “It’s funny how I just talked to Emma about this last week, and here I am about to have the same conversation with you.”

  I lean back against the couch, keeping my hold on Chloe’s hand.

  “I had a happy childhood,” she begins. “My parents were happy, and I dreamt about meeting a man I could grow old with like my parents did.”

  Chloe looks down at a spot on the couch and frowning her eyes begin to shimmer with unshed tears. All I want to do is hold her, but I don’t want her to stop talking, so I hold myself back and instead settle for squeezing her hand.

  “I thought their love would never die, but I was wrong. Up until the moment we walked in on my dad while he was cheating on my mom, I never doubted their love for each other. But after seeing him with those women, all the red flags popped up. Everything I ignored, became clearer.”

  I begin to rub my thumb over hers, trying to offer her some comfort.

  “My mom didn’t even see it coming. The shock knocked her off her feet, and she never got back up. Watching her fade away until she just gave up, I don’t even have words to describe how it felt… how it still feels.”

  Sucking in a deep breath, Chloe’s eyes settle on mine. “I don’t want to do that to you. You mean too much to me.”

  I raise my hand to her cheek and cupping it, I softly say, “You’re not your father.”

  “I know, but it doesn’t stop me being scared I’ll turn out just like him. He didn’t marry my mom with the intention of betraying her. He was really a good man for most of the years they were together.”

  “You can’t make assumptions about your future based on someone else’s actions. Chloe, I’ve gotten to know you, and you have a heart the size of Texas. There’s not a doubt in my mind you’ll be loyal.”

  “What if…” she swallows hard, “What if we take a chance and you decide it’s not for you? What do I do then?”

  “If that happens, it doesn’t mean our friendship will end. I’m not gonna up and leave, or ever expect you to leave. If we try and for some reason, it doesn’t work out, then we’ll deal with it like adults and just go back to being friends.”

  “You need to put that down in writing,” she tries to joke.

  Leaning a little forward, I catch her eyes, “Is that a yes? Are you willin’ to give us a try?”

  Her eyes search mine, and for a moment I fear she’s going to keep trying to push me away, but then she says, “As long as we won’t lose our friendship, we can try. I have to warn you though I seriously suck at dating. My longest relationship was two weeks, and that’s only because we had to drive a half an hour to see each other, so we didn’t get together often.”

  “Well, I used to be pretty good at it, so we can just wing it as we go along,” I joke to lighten the air between us.

  Chloe gets up and walks to the kitchen, calling back to me, “Today then.”

  “Today what?” I ask as I get up.

  Glancing over her shoulder, she smiles at me. “Our first day as a couple.”

  CHAPTER 20

  Chloe

  After I’ve slept, I get up with a bee in my bonnet. I really want to try cooking for Zac so dinner can be ready when he gets home.

  My first attempt at making stir fry didn’t turn out well, and I end up having to throw the greasy mess away.

  After a couple of hours of epically failing at making anything edible, I give up and order two pizzas. When they’re delivered, I shove them in the oven with a disgruntled look on my face.

  “You look upset,” Zac suddenly says from behind me.

  I spin around with a shriek from fright, then begin to laugh. “You almost gave me a heart attack. I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “That’s because you were growling at whatever you just stuck in the oven.”

  “It’s pizza,” I pout. “I tried to make you dinner, but after almost emptying the fridge I gave up.”

  Zac smiles at me, and for a moment my heart stops beating because it’s different from how he usually looks at me. His serious gaze has been replaced with affection for me, and it makes warmth spread through my body.

  “I’m good with pizza,” he says.

  “And beers?” I ask as I walk to the fridge.

  Zac grabs hold of my hand and pulls me back, I swing into his chest with a thud and stare up at him with wide eyes.

  “Beers sounds good, but first a hug.” His arms wrap tightly around me, and then his head begins to lower. He never breaks eye contact, and it makes an intensity buzz to life.

  I quickly shut my eyes when the buzzing moves to my stomach making it feel like I swallowed an entire hive of bees.

  His lips are hard on mine, but it’s so quick I almost miss it before then he’s pulling back and letting go of me. Confused I blink at him.

  “What?” he asks when he notices the look I’m giving him.

  “Just a peck?” With the look, he was giving me I was expecting more.

  “Yeah, unless you want to skip the pizza and beers ’cause that’s what will happen once I kiss you properly.”

  “Oh.” I clear my throat and quickly turn around to grab two beers from the fright. “Beers and pizza it is.”

  Zac chuckles, totally enjoying my awkwardness.

  Zac

  When we’re done with the dishes, I take Chloe’s hand and lead her out onto the porch. Sitting down, I place my arm around her shoulder and pull her close to me.

  “You still have twenty minutes before you have to get ready for work. Let’s just relax.”

  For a
couple of minutes, we sit in silence then Chloe murmurs, “I never thought I’d be happy sitting on a porch.”

  I raise an eyebrow and glance down at her. “Not wild enough for you?”

  Letting out a chuckle, she shakes her head. “It’s not that. It’s just something I haven’t allowed myself to think about.”

  Wanting to keep the mood light before she has to leave, I ask, “Why do you call Emma Sunshine?”

  Chloe takes a deep breath, and a smile plays around her lips as she leans her head on my shoulder. “Because that’s what she is to me. Whenever I’m with her, I feel warm. Emma is my sunlight.”

  I smile, thinking that’s what Aiden is to me.

  “What do you like being called?” she asks.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, not quite following.

  “Ah… like babe, sweetheart, those kinds of names.”

  I think about it before I answer. “Whatever comes naturally I guess. But I definitely don’t like babe.”

  “Hey, that’s much better than some of the Afrikaans ones I’ve been called. I’d settle for Babe in a heartbeat.”

  “What have you been called?”

  “Bokkie, cherry,” Chloe shudders and pulls a disgusted face. “The one I hate most is skattebol.”

  “Can you translate them?” I ask, so I’ll actually understand.

  “Damn, I’ll try. Bokkie is similar to buck, like a springbuck.” I begin to chuckle imagining some guy calling Chloe that. “I’m glad you think it’s funny.” She grins up at me. “Cherry… well, you know that one. Skattebol is a mixture of treasure and darling.”

  “That one doesn’t sound too bad.”

  She immediately begins to shake her head. “Don’t ever call me that.”

  “What should I call you?” I ask.

  She shakes her head again. “Chloe’s fine.”

  “Chloe Jordaan,” I say her full name, careful with my pronunciation. Her eyes widen, and a happy smile spreads over her face. “I’ve been practicin’.”

  “Not too bad, Zac.” She keeps grinning. “Damn, I really liked that.”

  “I downloaded an app so I can learn Afrikaans.” I begin to laugh. “It’s going really slow.”

  “What have you learned?” she asks, sitting up and looking at me with sparkling eyes.

  “You’re gonna laugh at me,” I warn her.

  She nods quickly, already giggling.

  “Ba-ie donkey?”

  Chloe burst out laughing, and she has to lean forward. “Sorry,” she gasps. “I’m not laughing at you.”

  “Yeah, you are,” I chuckle, loving this moment between us. “You’re actually cracking up. It can’t even be called laughing.”

  My comment only makes her lose her breath. When she’s finally calm again, she sits next to me trying to look apologetic but failing miserably.

  “The first part, baie means many. It’s pronounced the same in as buyer without the r. Dankie’ means thanks. It’s similar sounding to darn key without the r, but you have to say it fast.”

  “Shit, you’re better at this than the app I got. From now on you’re giving the lessons then I can at least enjoy the view while I’m at it.”

  “That’s all I’m gonna teach you tonight because if I don’t leave now, I’ll be late for work.”

  “I’ll take you,” I say and get up at the same time as her.

  “I don’t mind walking,” she begins to protest, and I quickly silence her by framing her face with my hands and pressing my lips to hers.

  When I pull back a warm smile remains on her face.

  “I’m takin’ you.”

  “Okay.”

  Chloe

  It’s a quiet night at work, and I catch myself many times wondering if Stella is okay.

  I want to check on her, but I’m scared I’ll only end up causing trouble.

  It’s four in the morning, and I’m nodding off when there’s a knock on the door. When Stella comes in, I almost fall off my chair in my hurry to get up.

  “Are you okay?” I grab her shoulders and inspect her for any fresh wounds. I’m relieved when I don’t find any.

  “I’m fine.” She sits down then continues, “I snuck out after they fell asleep. They have a meeting with some guys tomorrow night, so I’ll be able to leave then.”

  “Do you want me to come help you pack everything?” I offer because I can’t imagine her making a quick escape with luggage as well.

  “No, I’ll be fine. I just wanted to give you a heads up, so you know.” She points to the door. “Are you sure they’ll be okay with me staying here?”

  “Of course. That’s what the shelter is for.”

  “Okay,” she nods, and her breaths begin to come faster as her nerves get the better of her.

  “Can I hug you?” I ask, just wanting to hold and reassure her.

  She nods again, her eyes filling with tears.

  I quickly wrap my arms around her and hold her as tight as I can. “Just two more days, Stella. You’ll be safe then, and we’ll help you start a new life.”

  “I want that so badly,” she sobs which almost breaks my heart.

  “Just don’t take any chances. I spoke to my friend, and he said he’ll come help. If you’re scared or something goes wrong, call me, and we’ll come right over.”

  “Okay,” she sniffles, then pulling back she looks up at me. “Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome.” I mean those words more than ever. “I just want you safe here with me.”

  When I get home, I find Zac still in bed and feeling brave, I crawl in next to him, just wanting to stare at him while he sleeps.

  He begins to stir awake, and when his eyes focus on me, a sexy grin spreads over his lips.

  “Mornin’,” he grumbles, his voice thick and sexy from sleep.

  “Morning.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “You’re quite hot when you wake up. I look like a scarecrow so don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “Give me a sec,” Zac says, and then he climbs out of bed and rushes into the bathroom.

  I turn over onto my back and staring up at the ceiling, I smile as happiness warm my chest. I wouldn’t mind having every morning like this for the rest of my life.

  Zac comes rushing out of the bathroom and jumps onto the bed, he crawls over me, and looking down, he says, “Now I can say mornin’ properly.” Lowering his head, he presses a hard kiss to my lips.

  “Mmmh…” I moan when I smell the fresh mint of the toothpaste he used.

  His eyes lock on mine, and the longer we stare, the more his gaze is filled with heat. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him back down, sealing my lips to his. When his tongue slips through my lips and brushes over mine, tingles explode over my body, making me want so much more.

  Moving off of me, Zac rolls to the right side of the bed, and positions his back against the headboard, then pulls me closer, so I’m straddling him.

  The position puts his hard length right between my legs, which makes it hard for me to sit still. My abdomen tightens with need and my lips part as I take a deep breath, so I don’t lose control and just ride him.

  Wrapping an arm around me, Zac brushes his fingers down my back while keeping his eyes on mine.

  With his other free hand, he takes hold of my neck and pulls me closer, kissing me with so much desire, it ignites a fire in me.

  The kiss becomes more urgent, and soon we’re stripping our clothes out of the way.

  Hallelujah! Zac in his birthday suit is seriously something drool-worthy.

  After grabbing a condom from the bedside table, and rolling it on, I straddle him again, eager to have his impressive length inside me.

  He positions himself at my opening, and my heart begins to speed up with anticipation and need. Latching onto my mouth, his tongue dances over mine, and I grind impatiently down on him. Taking him in one hard thrust, a satisfied moan drifts up my throat. I begin to move my hips, as my hands get lost in his hair. Devouring his mouth, I begin to mov
e faster until Zac grabs hold of my hips, and turns us over so he can be on top.

  Pushing back inside of me, his mouth presses against mine, and he runs his tongue along my bottom lip before slipping into my mouth. The kiss is slow as if he can’t get enough of the taste of me. His hands rake over my body until they settle over my breasts, and he begins to massage them, while a low growl escapes his lips.

  With the next thrust, my body shudders under his. He breaks the kiss but keeps his lips against mine as he growls, “Dammit, you feel so good.”

  “Harder,” I groan, lifting my hips to encourage him.

  He moves his hands down to my butt, and holding me to him, he drives so hard the pleasure robs me of my breath and has my body arching up against his.

  With every thrust, I can feel my abdomen tightening, and it feels so good I can’t stop the moans from drifting over my lips.

  “Fuck, Chloe,” Zac groans breathlessly, moving faster and harder, making my body tighten to the point where I feel like a quivering mess of pleasure as I come.

  A blissful sensation begins to spread through me, and I feel it deep in my bones. Opening my eyes, I watch Zac’s face as he finally let's go. The orgasm tightens his features making him look hot as hell. His body shudders over mine before he rests his arms on either side of my face while trying to catch his breath.

  Lifting my head, I press a kiss to his lips, then grin. “It’s safe to say this is our first time, because there’s no way I’d forget having sex with you,” I tease him.

  “Yeah?” he chuckles. “You know I was only teasin’ you right?”

  “I know now,” I admit.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, but I was more upset about not remembering,” I joke.

  He presses another kiss to my lips, then looking deep into my eyes, he whispers, “It’s only me from now on.”

  He looks at me like I’m his world, and I know in this moment it will only be Zac.

  CHAPTER 21