“No, Aunt Meghan, something’s wrong.”
Shelby looked sharply at Bryan. His face was pale and his eyes huge, like he had seen something shocking. She sighed, ran her hands under the tap and then dried them on the dishtowel hanging from the stove.
“I’ll go. He won’t leave us alone until I do. You watch the gravy.” Shelby didn’t have the emotional energy to deal with her kids’ inability to be self-sufficient for five minutes while she was busy.
Rounding the corner, still wiping her hands dry on the towel, she froze. Guilt flashed through her, knotting her stomach. Why was she such a shitty parent? Would it have hurt to have taken a second to see what was wrong and not just assume Bryan was being a jerk? She stared at the lamp on the floor and then at Wes’s slumped body.
Oh God, he’s having a heart attack. Why hadn’t she just taken the time to check him over more closely, instead of just tossing a beer at him?
She needed to do something, but she was frozen to the spot—just like last time. She was a quitter, and now Wes might pay with his life for her failure.
Get it together. She couldn’t dwell on the past; it was critical she act fast. Wes could die, and Ian wasn’t coming to rescue her this time.
Suddenly Meghan was there pushing past her and dropping to her knees beside her husband. “Oh my God! What’s wrong with him? Wes? Wake up, Wes!” Meghan shook Wes, as she frantically looked around the room for help, her eyes wild with the same panic that had frozen Shelby to the spot.
“Mommy, what’s wrong with Daddy?” Amanda asked, tugging on her mom’s arm.
Meghan ignored her daughter, as she continued to shake Wes.
“Mom?”
Shelby started at Bryan’s voice. She could hear his fear. She looked at him and then looked at Wes, and suddenly it all came clear, and she knew what to do.
“It’s okay, Bryan. I’ve got this. But I need you to take the little kids to the kitchen and get them a snack. Keep them in there. We don’t want them getting scared. And I need you to turn the stove off.”
“Yes, Mom.” For once, Bryan didn’t fight her. He just took Shaun and Amanda’s hands, leading them to the kitchen. She vaguely heard him calling for Kevin to come to the kitchen for a snack. A calm like she had never felt before, came over her, as she knelt beside her sister. She righted the lamp and pushed it out of the way.
“It’s okay, Meghan. I’ve got this. I need you to get my purse. I have a first-aid kit in there.”
“What’s wrong with him, Shel? Why won’t he open his eyes?” Meghan’s fearful eyes shone with threatening tears.
Meghan must be really rattled because she hadn’t used her nickname for Shelby in a long time—not since they were kids. It was only Wes who called her that now.
“Come on, Wes, wake up. I need you to wake up now,” Meghan begged.
Shelby placed a hand on her sister’s arm. “Meghan, I need you to focus for Wes’s sake. I need my purse. My first-aid kit is in there. Do you understand?”
Meghan looked at Wes, and for an instant Shelby thought she wasn’t going to go. A tear ran down Meghan’s cheek as she pushed herself to her feet.
“Yes, I understand.”
Shelby smiled encouragingly. “Good. My purse is by the door.”
Leaning in close to her brother-in-law, Shelby pinched his shoulder and spoke to him in each ear. She still got no response. Unresponsive to physical and verbal stimuli, she thought, going through the steps in her head. She placed a hand on his forehead. His skin was cool and clammy. Her first instinct had been right.
Returning, Meghan silently held out Shelby’s purse.
Shelby took the purse. “I need you to get the phone and call 911. Tell them we need an ambulance. Give them Mom’s address. Tell them we have an unresponsive male. Let me know when you’ve got them. Do you understand?”
Meghan nodded her head and gave a barely audible, “Yes.”
From inside her purse, Shelby took out a pair of gloves and a pocket breathing mask. She put the gloves on and lay the mask beside her on the floor. Then she leaned in close to Wes, placing her face near his mouth and one hand on his chest. She couldn’t feel his breath on her cheek, and his chest wasn’t moving. He wasn’t breathing—he needed CPR.
Tendrils of panic began to wind their way around her heart. Why hadn’t she checked his breathing sooner? Who was she to think she could do this? She froze again, as doubt in her skill overwhelmed her. But one look at her sister’s tear-streaked face snapped her right out of her self-doubt. She had this. She knew what to do. She just needed to trust herself.
Wes lay awkwardly slumped over, half on and half off the couch. Shelby needed to move him. Closing her eyes, she took a deep steadying breath. With her eyes closed, reality disappeared and suddenly things started to come clear. With surprise, she realized that despite the fear and doubt lingering around the edges, she felt calm, and she felt ready.
It was like she could feel Ian there beside her, ready to talk her through the steps if she floundered. It made her feel safe.
She opened her eyes and snapped into action. She manoeuvred Wes off the couch, laying him flat on his back. She checked his breathing again, just in case moving him had opened his airway and started his breathing, but still she felt nothing. Without further hesitation, she started CPR.
She shifted so she was near his chest, marked the correct spot and then began chest compressions. “One and two and three and...”
“They’re coming,” Meghan said.
Shelby nodded and kept counting. “Six and seven and... do you still have them on the phone?”
“Yes, she says she’ll stay with me until the ambulance gets here.” Meghan’s voice trembled, but she wasn’t crying anymore.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Caroline demanded, appearing at the kitchen door with a grocery bag in each hand.
Shelby ignored her mother, keeping her focus on Wes and the chest compressions she was performing. When she reached thirty, she shifted over to his head and placed the mask tightly on his face. She breathed one breath into Wes, paused to watch his chest fall, breathed in a second one, and then she was back at his chest doing compressions.
“Do you even know what you are doing?” Caroline demanded, the pitch of her voice rising.
When Shelby didn’t respond, Caroline turned to Meghan.
“Meghan? Does she know what she’s doing?”
Meghan put a hand over the phone receiver. “Mom, it’s fine. The ambulance is coming.”
Caroline covered her mouth, as if to hold her panic in. “Oh, why isn’t Blake here? He would know what to do. This is your fault, Shelby. Blake should be here.”
Shelby jerked slightly, her mother’s words pulling her attention away from the CPR. Doubt surged up, threatening to overtake her calm. Her hands faltered on Wes’s chest. But, then as quickly as she had let the doubt in, she pushed it away. There was a life on the line.
It didn’t matter that she had never even once before demonstrated she was capable. She was all that Wes had, and she needed to keep him alive until the paramedics got there. She just needed to maintain her focus, and it would be all right. She knew what to do. She was doing the right thing. Her mother was just scared, and Shelby was an easy target.
Without needing to think about it, Shelby automatically switched from giving chest compressions to giving two breaths and then back to chest compressions. As she allowed herself to be engulfed by the rhythm of the CPR, she realized maybe Ian had been right. Maybe the thing she needed to do to change her life was just to believe that she could.
And right there, in that moment, while she was enmeshed in trying to save her sister’s husband, it came to Shelby that Ian hadn’t always rushed over to help her when she was fumbling a task, not because he hadn’t thought her worth his time, but because he had seen she was capable. She had believed he had been too busy with Celeste to notice she needed help, when in reality, he had been giving her the space to grow and fin
d her own solutions.
He had believed in her. And not even her family believed in her—not since her dad had died.
There was one thing Blake and her mother were right about though: She was a fool. She had rejected Ian because he had given her exactly what she had wanted, exactly what she had needed. She had blown her chance. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them away hard. She didn’t have time to wallow; later, she would have endless hours to regret Ian.
It didn’t take long for her arms to start aching; chest compressions were exhausting. She needed to focus extra hard on keeping the rhythm and depth of her compressions steady. By the time the paramedics arrived, her arms felt like lead, but she had managed to bury thoughts of Ian. With relief she surrendered Wes’s care to the two paramedics. She answered their questions as one of them, a woman with dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, took over the chest compressions, sliding in seamlessly.
Once she had given all the information, Shelby stepped away from the paramedics, giving them space to do their work, fading into the background and out of everyone’s notice. Her body started to quiver as the adrenal rush began to fade and the fatigue began to overwhelm her. She tucked her hands into her pockets, so no one would see them shaking.
When it was time to move Wes out to the ambulance, Shelby quietly followed the family out to watch. Meghan climbed into the ambulance, clinging to Wes’s hand, while Caroline fussed over the children on the front lawn. Shelby stayed to the side out of the way.
The female paramedic closed the rear door and then approached Shelby. “You did well. Probably saved his life.”
Shelby allowed herself a small smile of pride. “Thank you. I learned from a good teacher.” Her smile faltered, as her heart caught at the thought of Ian.
The paramedic gave her a nod and then headed around the ambulance to climb into the driver’s seat. As soon as the ambulance pulled away from the curb with its lights flashing, Caroline launched into organizing the kids.
“Mom,” Shelby said, stepping forward as the gang started bustling into the car. “Maybe, all the kids should stay here with me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Wes is going to need his family around him—all of his family. I don’t have room for you with all the kids, so you’re going to have to call Blake and get him to pick you up.”
Shelby forced down an angry retort. Even in a moment of crisis, her mother still managed to try and manipulate her. But Shelby could make the choice to not rise to the bait. She could choose to change her reaction.
“Whatever you want, Mom.”
Caroline nodded in satisfaction as she climbed into her car. Shelby watched her family, as they backed down the driveway, leaving her there, expecting she would call Blake to come to her rescue—she was not calling Blake. She didn’t need to be rescued. She could do her own rescuing.
Still fuming at her mother’s words, Shelby pulled out her phone to check the bus schedule, but then she caught sight of Meghan’s minivan parked at the curb. Meghan was going to need her van later. Shelby could take it to the hospital, if she could find the keys.
Back inside, it only took her a few minutes to locate Wes’s keys in the pocket of his jacket. She pulled them out and clutched them tightly in her hand. Her hands were no longer shaking, but alone in the quiet house, she felt like her whole body was vibrating ever so slightly—humming in the silence. Suddenly weary, she sank down into one of her mother’s overstuffed chairs, allowing her head to fall against the back, as she closed her eyes. A minute was all she needed to take in what had happened, and then she would go and join her family at the hospital.
She hadn’t frozen, or at least she had only frozen for a moment, but then she had known exactly what to do. Her family had needed her, and she had come through. She was proud of herself. But what really stood out was that she hadn’t for one second thought of Blake during the whole thing. She hadn’t thought that maybe if she hadn’t left him, he would have been there to help—not even after her mother had suggested just that.
Pride rose within her, but then, in the eerie quiet of her mother’s empty house, another truth began to seep in until she couldn’t ignore the fact that her family was completely blind to her achievement. She was being stupid, of course. They had been distracted with fear for Wes that’s all—this was about Wes, not her.
But Truth was, it didn’t matter how many times she told herself that her family’s reaction had been perfectly normal, it hurt terribly that her mother and her sister couldn’t see her as anything more than Blake’s wife.
She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, trying not to cry. Why did Ginny have to be away this weekend? She could really use her right now. Slowly, her thoughts shifted to Ian, as they always did, and Shelby sat up straighter in the chair. If there was anyone who would know what today meant to her, it would be Ian.
She had been very quick to judge him for the choices he had made; choices she didn’t even fully understand. And it wasn’t like she had been any better. She had made some pretty poor choices herself. She had married Blake as a love-struck young woman, but she had stayed with him long after the stars had dimmed.
She had been too wrapped up in her own issues to realize Ian had pretty much been there right beside her for the entire journey. He had given her encouragement and given her room to grow and learn on her own terms. Maybe he wasn’t perfect. No girl dreams of loving a man who, by the nature of his job, fulfills the fantasies of other women. But maybe he was still what she needed.
“Oh my God, I love him.” She slapped a hand over her mouth to stop her words, even though there was no one around to hear them.
Ian McLean was the full package, and it was all wrapped up in lean muscles that made her ache in places where she had never ached before. Despair swept over her, pushing aside the hurt her family had caused. She had messed up with Ian. He had offered himself to her twice, and both times, she had thrown it in his face. Shame stained her face red, as she thought of the things she had said to him.
“Ginny! This was the worst time for you to go away,” Shelby lamented to the empty room, as she slumped back into the chair. She needed the kind of advice only a girlfriend could give you.
Then she straightened. She had two choices. She could carry on with her life and try to put Ian McLean behind her, spending the rest of her days dreaming of the way his lips felt, or she could call him. Pulling her phone out of her purse, she hesitated. There was no way he was going to want to talk to her, and there had been the dark-haired woman at the ball. Their hug had been too intimate for them to be just casual acquaintances.
She pushed the image down. She wasn’t phoning Ian for a date. She was just looking for some encouragement—someone to share her triumph with. And today was a turning point, so she dialled his number. She couldn’t start her new life by being a coward.
Besides, deep down, she knew Ian would celebrate her achievement with her—no matter where they stood.
After three rings, his voice mail picked up. His deep, steady voice slid over her, making her tingle.
Damn, she sighed. It would have been so much easier if he had answered. It had taken a lot of courage to call—courage she wasn’t sure she could garner again.
“It’s me, Shelby...” She paused, closing her eyes to collect herself. “I guess you probably knew that.” She paused again, and then rushed on. “Not that I expect you’d recognize my voice on the phone.” She almost hung up, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to make herself dial again.
“I hope it’s okay that I called,” she plunged on. “I had something amazing happen to me today. Oh no, I mean something bad happened, but I handled it well, and I wanted to share it with someone. I knew even though we might not be on good terms—if we’re on any terms, actually—you’d understand what an achievement it was for me. And I just really needed that.”
She stopped to catch her breath, but then more words cascaded out. “Anyway, my brother-in-law, Wes, had a heart attack tod
ay. At least that’s what I think it was. I haven’t gone to the hospital to find out yet. That was the bad thing. But the good part was, if there can be a good part...”
Oh please, just stop talking.
“...um, well, I was able to give him first aid, and I only froze for a moment, and then it all kicked in, and I gave him CPR. You were right. I can do it. I just wish I could share it with you right now. I understand if you just want to delete this crazy long message but—” A second beep cut her off. She had rambled on so long the message had timed out. As soon as she disconnected the call, she dropped her head in her hands. He was going to think she was a lunatic. Could she make it any worse?
Shelby let herself wallow for a minute, and then she pushed herself out of the chair. She needed to quit fooling around and get to the hospital. Ian likely wasn’t going to listen to the message anyway. Nobody listened to their cellphone messages. He would see her number and delete it—her outburst at the ball had guaranteed that.
She tucked her phone back into her purse, and clutching Wes’s keys, headed for her sister’s van. She wasn’t sure what kind of reception she would get from her family—likely her mother would still be blaming her for leaving Blake, like it was the reason Wes’s heart attack had happened. But she wanted to know how Wes was doing, and if nothing else, she needed to pick up her kids. She still couldn’t believe her mom had just whisked them all away and left her behind—or maybe she could.
As he exited the restaurant, Ian pulled his phone out of his pocket. He glanced at the screen to check the time, and then he looked at it again, tapping on the notification list. Shelby had called. He had to look twice to make sure it was true.
He could hardly believe it. After last night, he had been sure he had blown his chance—if he hadn’t blown it long ago. Last night hadn’t been the first time she had rejected him—not that he could blame her. He had acted like an ass.
Maybe that was why the universe was punishing him. Why else wouldn’t he have heard his phone ringing? The restaurant hadn’t been that loud. And Spencer wouldn’t have cared if he had taken the call—karma. It was definitely karma.
Saving Shelby Page 27
