by Shea Balik
Shine had just picked up a bottle of moonshine and instead of placing it in the box, he pointed it at Andrew with storm clouds on his face. “Hey, I don’t butt. I merely encourage.”
Shine’s grandpappy had walked in and snorted. “Who do you think you’re kidding, boy? You are a classic butter. How else do you think this homebody ended up with a girlfriend?” he said as he slapped Shine’s daddy on the shoulder. “Now stop being an ass and figure out a way to help your friend.”
There was a long, heavy pause as Shine narrowed his eyes at his grandpappy. Then he shook his head and placed the moonshine he’d been holding into the box. “I got nothing, old man.”
“You better watch that old man crap, boy, or I’ll butter your corn.”
What the fuck?
He looked over at Andrew in askance, but since he was mouthing, ‘butter your corn,’ with his brows drawn together, Lowen assumed he had no clue what it meant any more than Lowen did.
“Whatever tickles your pickle, old man, but I don’t hear you coming up with any good ideas.” There was a stare down between the two men for several long minutes, which was good because Lowen was having trouble coming up with a definition for what either man had said.
“Let’s face it,” Shine finally said. “Apple Blossom could make a preacher cuss.”
This time it was Shine’s daddy who snorted. “Are you kidding? She could force a preacher to make a deal with the devil just to get as far from her as possible. She is straight up crazier than a dog in a cat factory.”
Lowen blinked. At least that one he got, but it was as if he’d entered another country where he didn’t speak the language. He was so damn confused, he was tempted to give up and leave. Only because it was for his sweet Blue did Lowen remain where he was.
“So, what all three of you are telling me is there is no way to get Apple Blossom into town?” Lowen asked, hoping he could get them back on track.
All three men turned to him as if surprised he was there. Then, as one, they gave him a nod, with three different sayings.
“Darn tootin’,” grandpappy said.
“You ain’t just whistling Dixie,” Shine’s daddy said.
“It’s not like we can get blood from a turnip.” That was Shine. They were Lowen’s only real hope of finding a way to get Apple to the fences so he could start mending them.
Oh for fuck’s sake. Now he was starting to think like them. It must be the fumes from the moonshine. They’d started killing his brain cells as soon as he’d entered.
“And you’re okay with Blue crying whenever he thinks no one is around because he thinks he hurt his mother?” he asked all three men, making sure to stare them down.
He didn’t stop until all three were looking at their feet and their shoulders were slumped. “I’ve heard stories of how the three of you took on the town to get this distillery up and running, but you can’t manage to come up with a way to help me reunite a son with his mother?”
“Yeah,” Shine’s daddy said. “But this is different.”
Andrew stood next to Lowen, giving him his support. “How?”
“It’s Apple Blossom,” Shine said simply. “She ain’t normal and no matter how hard a person tries you can’t fit three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket.”
“Oh, for Crist’s sake,” Lowen cried out in frustration. He was going to need to bring some sort of translator the next time he came there. “I know she’s narcissistic but she’s still a person. There has to be a way.”
Shine’s eyes widened and a grin, that had fear running down Lowen’s spine as he realized this might not have been a good idea, appeared. “You’re right. She’s narcissistic.”
As far as Lowen was concerned, that wasn’t exactly a surprise. The woman was the epitome of self-centered. According to Blue, she’d been that way even when he was a child. “Yeah, so?”
“Well, when I need to get my pain in the ass donkey, Betsy, to do something she doesn’t want to do, I either have to tackle her…”
“Which is never a good idea since her kicks hurt like a son of a bitch,” Grandpappy interrupted while rubbing an area on his thigh.
“Or,” Shine said, pointedly at his grandpappy to shut him up. “I have to make her think she wants to do it.”
Once again, Lowen found himself blinking at Shine, completely stumped by his example, or what to say about it.
Shine rolled his eyes and gave Lowen a huff. “Seriously? You live in the south. Hell, you grew up around these parts. How do you not understand?”
Andrew saved Lowen from having to answer. “Well, I didn’t grow up in the south, so explain it to me.”
“Fine. When Betsy is being stubborn…
“Would you forget about the stupid donkey and get to the point of Apple?” Lowen’s frustration came out a little too forcefully, but at least Shine stopped talking about his donkey.
“Fine, but it was a good story,” Shine said miffed. “Like you said, Apple’s narcissistic. We just have to figure out what it is she needs and she will come running.”
Shine’s daddy laughed. “Please, everyone knows the only thing Apple has ever been interested in is men. She’s desperate to be find a man who will make her the center of her world.”
Lowen frowned. He’d known that, but he wasn’t sure how knowing that would help. “It’s not like I can throw together some sort of bachelor auction in the next couple of days.”
Shine was grinning. “No. But Group Therapy, or The Cure All, could put on a speed dating event. The chance to find her next husband should bring Apple running.”
Lowen wasn’t so sure about that. “Yeah, but she already knows the men in town. She’s not likely to attend when she’s pretty much dated everyone that will be there.”
Now it was Andy’s turn to grin. “Yes, but it is tourist season. We could get Kip at Group Therapy to do a singles mixer for the tourists. That might get her there.”
Lowen still wasn’t sure, but without any other ideas, he had to hope it would work. For Blue’s sake.
CHAPTER 13
“Why are we going to this, again?” Blue asked as he walked hand in hand with Lowen along the square to Group Therapy, which was only a block from his own store, but upstairs. “We aren’t tourists and we aren’t single.”
Just saying that had Blue nearly stumbling as he rushed to say, “Are we? I mean, are you trying to break up with…”
Lowen had stopped Blue and kissed him before he could say another word. Not just any kiss either. One of those sensual kisses that had his toes curling and his dick plumping in interest. It was stunning how easily this man could turn him on.
When Lowen pulled away from the kiss, Blue had completely forgotten where they were, much less what they were doing, well, other than kissing. “No, I’m not breaking up with you,” Lowen reassured him.
As if someone had thrown ice water over his head, Blue came back to his senses. Right, the singles mixer. “Then why are we going?”
“Because I promised Kip we would be there in case not many people show up,” Lowen said.
That made no sense. “But we’re still not single. I mean, I can understand why Andrew is going, he’s not dating, but we’re a couple. Won’t that make it awkward for those who are there trying to meet other singles?”
“It’s still a bar and Kip isn’t closing it for the event, so there will be other people there not participating.” The thing was, Lowen made sense, but there was something in his lover’s voice that made Blue think he was lying.
It was probably him just being stupid. They didn’t lie to each other. Like ever. Or at least, Blue didn’t. He assumed the same was true of Lowen. But what if he was wrong?
At the same time, why would Lowen lie about this? They would be there together, so it wasn’t as if he was cheating, or… well, Blue couldn’t think of any other reason for Lowen to lie. In fairness, none of it made sense.
Even the promise to Kip. They hardly ever went to Group Therapy, so why wa
s Lowen making the owner a promise to come out in support? Unless… Blue’s heart sped up. Was it possible Lowen was having an affair with Kip? But if he was, why would he bring Blue with him?
They started up the stairs to the wine bar and Blue couldn’t take not knowing any longer. “Seriously,” he said as they made their way up. “Why are we going? Because, so far, nothing you’ve said has made any sense.”
Just then, Lowen’s phone dinged with an incoming message. When his lover pulled it out to look at it instead of answering him, Blue was hurt and tempted to leave. But before he turned on his heel and headed back down the stairs, Lowen said, “We put on this event to get your mother here. That text was Kip letting me know she’s inside.”
Blue came to a complete stop.
Suddenly he was terrified. He had tried not to get upset with his mother, but if he was totally honest, it was hard to not be pissed off. She’d attempted to break up his budding relationship with Lowen all because she needed more attention. Yet, whenever she had someone in her life, she acted as if she didn’t even have kids.
On top of all that, Blue had reached out to try and make amends and she refused to speak with him. It seemed as if it was easy for her to cut him out of her life. The logical, practical side of him, sent out warning bells to not make contact.
It would be emotional suicide to do so. She would only try and drag him down again and Blue didn’t need that. His life was finally starting to look up. Did he really want her to ruin it?
Too bad, his heart, that child-like part of him that just wanted his mother’s love, wouldn’t let him walk back down those damn stairs to return home, like he knew he should. The two parts of himself were warring with each other, leaving him stuck on those stairs, not wanting to go up, but also unable to go down.
“Blue?” The warmth of Lowen’s hand stroking along his spine sank deep into his bones, helping him to gather the tumultuous emotions bouncing around inside of him like some bizarre tennis match between logic and the relationship he so desperately wanted to have with his mother.
“She’s never going to be able to love me, is she?” he finally whispered after several minutes of wrestling with fantasy and reality. “I mean, I’m sure in a way she does, but she will never be able to just love who I am, as I am, will she?”
Lowen pulled him into a hug, yet made sure neither of them stepped off the stairs and went tumbling. That was just who his lover was. Always taking care of Blue. He liked to believe he did the same for Lowen.
“I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, my sweet Blue, but when it comes to your mother, I…” Lowen let out a long sigh and held onto him even tighter. “I’m not sure she has it in her,” Lowen finally said with so much sadness it actually made Blue feel a bit better to know he had this amazing man who cared so much for him.
“What happens if I don’t go in there?” Blue asked, as if that was ever a possibility. Again, logically, it was. But Blue wasn’t sure, at least when it came to his mother, logic had anything to do with how he dealt with her.
Lowen pulled back just enough to stare into Blue’s eyes. His own held so much love in them, it took Blue’s breath away. “I wish that was something you could do, Blue. But I think we both know you won’t.”
Of course, Lowen was right. Blue knew that. He just wished… Did it even matter at that point? Like it or not, Blue was going inside and try – again – to talk to his mother.
“What do I even say to her?” Usually Blue apologized for whatever she felt he’d done wrong. But this time, he just couldn’t do that. She’d crossed too big of a line, which was probably his fault in the first place.
“I can’t tell her I’m sorry when I’m not the one who was wrong.” He held onto Lowen like a lifeline. “Twice in the past, I had relationships,” he admitted. “I can’t say we were in love, but the first had lasted over eight months and the second a year. Both ended because my mother interfered.”
He stared into those eyes he loved so damn much even though they hadn’t been together for quite a month yet. “Was all this my fault because I didn’t stop her back then?”
Hands came up and cupped Blue’s face, bringing him closer to Lowen until their foreheads touched. “No. Even if you had said something, you wouldn’t have been able to change your mother. It’s who she is, Blue. I know it isn’t easy, but if you can find a way to accept that, I think you’ll end up a lot happier.”
They had already discussed that, but Blue just wasn’t so sure he was okay with ‘accepting’ his mother could only love him when it suited her purposes. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure he had a choice if he was going to retain his sanity.
The kiss he received next, melted all those other worries away. If only they could just kiss all the time, then Blue wouldn’t even care whether he saw his mother or not. Actually, not seeing her while kissing would be preferable. Problem solved.
But, like all good things, the kiss came to an end and reality was still there, waiting for him. “Fine,” he said as he took hold of Lowen’s hand and started up the stairs. “Let’s get this over with.”
It wasn’t until he opened the door and saw his mom across the room that Blue turned to Lowen and said, “Thank you for doing this.”
Lowen smiled at him. “For you, my sweet Blue, I would swim through lava.” Then he chuckled as they stepped inside. “I might actually prefer it to dealing with Apple.”
“I just might want to join you,” Blue admitted as he walked across the room to where his mother was holding court with three men.
When they stepped up into her line of vision, his mother stared daggers at him for the briefest of moments. Couldn’t have her suitors seeing her as anything but carefree and happy, after all. Which was why this really was the perfect time to see her. She had no choice but to be gracious if she wanted a date with anyone here.
“Mom, what a coincidence,” Blue exclaimed as if this were a chance encounter. “I was hoping to run into you. I need to speak to you for a few minutes if you gentlemen don’t mind.” By including the men into the request, it forced them to agree to being happy to wait and forcing his mother to actually join him and Lowen in a quiet corner.
A fake smile was plastered on her face as she said, “Gentlemen, I’m sure this won’t take long, but you know family comes first. I shall endeavor to be right back.”
Blue thought he was going to burst out laughing when she blew them each a kiss and two of the men actually pretended to grab it with their hands. He had no idea people still did that crap anymore. Then again, both men had to be in their fifties, if their greying hair was anything to go by.
“I have nothing to say to you,” his mother hissed when they finally reached a corner of the bar that currently was empty. “You let me be humiliated and kicked out The Twisted Vine in front of all those people. As far as I’m concerned, you are no longer my son.”
That hurt. It really did. Blue had known she was mad at him, but to want to cut him from her life permanently? That he hadn’t expected.
Lowen wrapped an arm around his love’s waist, clearly knowing he needed the support right now. Blue took a deep breath as he tried to rein in the uncontrolled emotions coursing through him before finally saying what he needed to say. He just hoped he had didn’t lash out, which had been his first impulse.
“If that’s your wish, Mother, I won’t fight you, but I hope you will one day change your mind, for I would like to have a relationship with you.” God, he hadn’t expected that to hurt so much to say.
But he also wasn’t done. Not by a long stretch. “Having said that, I need you to understand that I am in love with Lowen. We are in a relationship that we both hope will last. If you do want me in your life, Lowen will be there also.”
That was when he looked at her. Really looked. He saw the self-righteous indignation in her eyes that said she wasn’t hearing a word he said. The way she stood, half-turned away as if she were trying to get away from him, but stayed, most likely so as no
t to create a scene in front of possible future husbands.
It’s when he finally got what Lowen had been telling him. His mother wouldn’t change. Hoping she would could only end in constant heartache. It was time to let go of the past, so he could step into the future. If that involved his mother in some way, great, but he had to also understand there was a good chance it wouldn’t.
Knowing that didn’t change the fact that Blue was going to say what he needed to say to her. Whether she heard him or not was no longer relevant, for Blue needed to do this for himself.
“I love you, Mom. But I also will not allow you to interfere in my life. I own a yarn and knitting store and happen to love to knit. Get. Over. It.” Her eyes widened, telling him she was listening now. “I’m not flamboyant, nor do I care enough about clothes to worry about being stylish. Again. Get. Over. It.”
Then he wrapped his free hand around Lowen’s shoulders. “And I’m in love with this man, and I’m definitely not about to allow you to ever get in between us. So, the next time you get divorced and call me, you might want to remember those things, since I will no longer tolerate your behavior if we’re going to spend time together.”
His mom appeared to be frozen in place as she stared at Blue like he was an alien from outer space. At one point, she even opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it without uttering a word.
It was probably for the best. Blue doubted anything she had to say would be good.
“Thank you for listening. I hope you have a good time tonight, Mom.” Then Blue left, with Lowen right there beside him every step of the way.
It wasn’t until they were down the stairs and halfway home that he started to shake. But Lowen was right there, tugging him close and wrapping his arms tightly around Blue.
“You were amazing, my sweet Blue,” Lowen whispered into his ear. “I am so damn proud of you.”
The thing was, Blue was kind of proud of himself. He hated the thought of no longer having his mother in his life, if she truly had decided that, but he was glad to have really stood up to her. He’d done so in the past, but usually when it didn’t really matter and since she’d never listened to him anyway, he wasn’t sure it could be counted as standing up for himself.
