by Shea Balik
“Thank you,” Blue whispered back. “I couldn’t have done it without out you.” Even though Lowen tried to brush off the comment, Blue knew how true it was. For without Lowen, he wouldn’t have cared enough to say anything.
Now that Blue understood what real happiness was, losing it had been too important to remain silent any longer.
CHAPTER 14
By the time Lowen had gotten them home, his sweet Blue had finally stopped shaking – mostly. “I’ve got you, love,” Lowen murmured softly as he led him to their favorite spot on the balcony overlooking the gardens. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked as helped Blue onto the porch swing Blue had installed to enjoy his time out there.
Blue shook his head vehemently as he tugged Lowen down to sit next to him. Lowen easily cuddled up close and wrapped his lover up in his arms. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
Light blue eyes looked over him, a color that rarely came out all by itself, but one Lowen was beginning to realize indicated fear of some kind. Not necessarily terror, but, as in this case, an indication that Blue was afraid he’d made the wrong decision.
“Did I just push my mother away for good?” he whispered. Those pale eyes blinked at him in a daze, as if unsure what had just happened.
“No, my sweet Blue.” Lowen reached out and with both hands cupped Blue’s face when his lover tried to hang his head. “What you did was to let your mother know you are an adult and that she needs to respect you.”
Worry and despair were flooding his expression as Blue’s gaze clung to Lowen’s with just a flicker of hope in their depths that looked as if it were barely alive. “But do you think she’ll ever talk to me again?”
He hated to disappoint Blue. No matter how much Blue clearly wanted him to tell him his mother would one day speak to him again, Lowen couldn’t, and wouldn’t lie. “I wish I could tell you she will, but I honestly don’t know. The thing I do know is she heard you, something you’ve always told me in the past, she didn’t do.”
The beginning part, she hadn’t heard a word. It had pissed Lowen off and he’d nearly bitched her out for treating someone as caring as Blue like that, but he’d forced himself to bite his tongue for Blue’s sake. He’d been glad he had, because as much as his lover was hurting right now, Blue had needed to tell his mother how he felt.
When Blue’s misery only appeared to worsen, Lowen said, “I do know, what you said didn’t hurt. She already wasn’t speaking to you. At least, by finally hearing what you had to say, maybe, one day, she’ll get her head out of her ass and you can have a better relationship with her.”
That tiny flicker of hope flared just a little brighter as the other colors of blue started to bleed into his eyes, making them not so pale and afraid. “It would be nice to have at least one member of my family talk to me.”
Lowen leaned back against the swing and pulled Blue against him so his head was on Lowen’s shoulder. “I thought you have a sister and a twin brother.”
They hadn’t talked much about them. Just that his sister had moved to Alaska and his twin, Grey, was in the military. With them being so far away, he assumed that was why they didn’t keep in touch too often.
“I do, but when they left to get away from our mother, they pretty much cut off all ties with me, too.” Blue’s fingers played with the neckline of Lowen’s t-shirt. “Grey does call sometimes on our birthday, but since he’s out of country, it is nearly impossible for me to just call him.”
“What about Amber?” Lowen asked. “I mean Alaska is far, but it’s still part of the country.”
Blue’s hand stilled, his fingers twisting slightly in the material as if trying to hold onto something so he wouldn’t fall apart. “Yeah, but she might as well have dropped off the face of the earth. She lives in some remote village for much of the time studying the wildlife. And when she moves back to one of the bigger towns for the winter, most of the time the phone lines don’t work well.”
“I’m not sure if this helps, but I’d like to be part of your family, if you want.” Since his own family had pretty much ditched him and taken off, Lowen had found some of his friends were much better family than his own flesh and blood had ever been. They were people who would drop everything to help and that was something Lowen cherished far more than genetics.
Blue’s head came up. A soft smile played on those pretty lips. “I’d like that. I know I’m being stupid about this. I mean, it’s not like my mom has really been around much any way, it’s just…” Tears shimmered, causing Blue’s eyes to appear just like the waters of the Caribbean.
“She’s your mom. I get it.” The thing was, Lowen did. “It hurt when my parents cut me off and left me behind. Just because we’re adults now doesn’t mean we don’t still want our parents to love us.”
Once more, Blue leaned back, his head on Lowen’s shoulder. “Thank you for listening.”
Lowen pressed a kiss to the top of Blue’s head. “It was my pleasure, my sweet Blue.”
When Blue tipped his head back for a kiss, Lowen gave it to him. Kissing Blue was like being in heaven as far as he was concerned. Hell, just sitting there next to Blue was better than anything else.
“I love you,” Blue whispered against his lips.
Lowen had planned on loving on Blue all night long, but what started out sweet and loving, turned on a dime into heat and lust. It happened a lot between the two of them. One second they’re just holding hands and next they were all over each other.
He knew, in part, Blue’s sudden change was due to the need to connect after being tossed aside by his mother. Lowen didn’t mind. However his lover needed him, Lowen would be there for him.
Blue turned his body until he was straddling Lowen’s lap, their groins pressing against each other. They let out twin long moans of need as they pushed together to add some friction.
“Fuck, Blue,” Lowen gasped when Blue’s teeth scraped along the corded muscles of his neck even as his hands went to Lowen’s pants and flicked the button open. “You make me burn.”
“Uh-huh,” Blue mumbled as he sucked along the skin of Lowen’s collar bone. Blue loved to mark Lowen’s body, which was fine with him so long as they didn’t show while he was working.
Blue had agreed and kept them mostly on his chest, but every once in a while, Lowen would receive one on his collarbone, as if Blue was trying to put his mark right on the edge of his shirt. Something that would be seen if anyone dared to undo even one of the buttons of Lowen’s shirt.
Those talented lips only moved when Blue tugged at the hem of Lowen’s shirt, pulling it over his head. The moment Blue’s gaze touched his skin, everything stopped. It was as if Blue were drinking him in, but instead of gulping Lowen down, he was going to take his time as he would if drinking an eighteen-year-old scotch.
The multi-hued blues of those mesmerizing eyes shifted as streaks of turquoise began to take over. Those beautiful orbs moved over Lowen’s skin, feeling as real as any caress, sending goosebumps along his skin.
Then those eyes were on his, sensual need pouring from them as Blue reached out and touched the wrist of Lowen’s left arm, where the first tattoo of his sleeve started. Fingertips traced along the first markings, the tail of a snake sliding up and around his forearm, gliding in between his other tattoos.
Each was one was touched, traced, scraped with the tips of Blue’s blunt nails. Those nearly all turquoise eyes flicked back and forth between the markings as if wondering what each one meant. But Blue didn’t ask, for which Lowen was grateful as several were painful memories he would gladly share but hoped to not have to in this moment.
His cock was too hard to delve into the past when all he wanted was to have their clothes magically disappear, lift Blue up, and impale him on his hard length. Yet, there was something intense in this moment that kept Lowen from rushing things. He sensed Blue needed this time. He just hoped his lover would tell him what was happening in that head of his.
The tattoos
stopped at the top of his arm. Blue’s fingers kept running back and forth from the inked lines to the clear skin as if he were trying to feel the mark that would delineate the two.
Suddenly, Blue was mapping out his chest to the other shoulder, creating lines of his own as if he were in some way able to mark Lowen with nothing more than his fingertips. In way, he was, for Lowen felt each touch straight down to his soul, carving out a place for Blue right there on his body.
“Have you considered getting a tattoo here?” Blue was tracing a pattern along Lowen’s chest, right over his heart.
“Someday, maybe.” Lowen’s voice was low and husky as he was able to make out what Blue’s fingers were doing. Five letters were being drawn inside the shape of a heart.
BLUE’S
His sweet love wanted to claim Lowen. Everything within him seized at the thought of what that would mean. He’d considered them being together forever, even thought about putting Blue’s name on his body, but that Blue wanted the same sent his heart racing. Not in fear. Not even any kind of commitment phobia.
No. What Lowen felt in that moment was raw, pure lust. No. That wasn’t true either. Oh, he was feeling that, but it was mixed with a caveman-type need to claim Blue right back.
They may have only known each other for almost a month, but there was zero doubt in Lowen’s mind – Blue was the only one for him. It might still be too early to talk ‘forever,’ especially as he told Blue he would wait a year before bringing up marriage, but there were other ways to show Blue he was there to stay.
Taking that finger that was drawing Blue’s tattoo on his chest over and over again, Lowen looked up into those turquoise eyes. “Do you want to live together?”
Blue stared at him for several heart stopping moments. Eyes wide, mouth agape, and completely unmoving. Lowen feared Blue would once more say he was moving too fast, but then, just as he was about to tell Blue, ‘never mind,’ lips crashed down upon his a split second after Blue cried out, “Yes.”
Just like that, they were back to kissing with mouths, tongues and teeth while their hands scrambled to take of their clothes. Lowen groaned in dismay when Blue pushed off him, until he saw it was only so his lover could push down his pants and kick them to the side.
As he was climbing right back onto his lap, he whisked his shirt off. Lowen was in awe, for right there, on the back porch in front of anyone bothering to look out their windows, his sweet Blue was naked and didn’t give a shit who was watching.
Lowen’s cock throbbed hard in his pants. Precum soaking them as he bucked up against Blue when he rolled his hips to rub their groins together.
“Fuck, love,” Lowen panted as he struggled to pull the single use lube and condom from his back pocket while Blue unzipped him and fished out his dick. “This is going to be fast.”
Blue grinned. “Good. Then we’ll have time to do it again.”
Damn, his sweet Blue was going to be the death of him. But what a way to go.
CHAPTER 15
Blue’s heart raced as he traced the letters of his name over Lowen’s heart. Just thinking about leaving a permanent mark, telling the world that this amazing man belonged to him, was enough to cause his cock to thump hard against his zipper, as if wanting to punch its way out to mark the man all on its own.
He was still reeling from that when Lowen stole every bit of breath from his lungs by asking him to move in together. It was crazy, almost as nuts as the thought of marriage, yet Blue found himself saying yes as lust slammed into him, taking over any reservations about being outside where the world around them could see.
Even as his lips crashed against Lowen’s, Blue’s hands were busy stripping himself of his clothing. If his neighbors were watching and didn’t like it, they could go inside and shut the blinds, because Blue wasn’t about to stop just so they would have privacy.
As it was, he was frustrated when he had to climb from Lowen’s lap to take off his pants and underwear. Pushing them down together helped to save time, but it still felt like an eternity before he was back straddling Lowen. His hips rolled to add much needed friction as his cock slid along Lowen’s groin before gliding across his washboard abs.
Needing to feel Lowen’s hard length against him, he quickly popped the button of his jeans. As fast as he could he had the zipper down and was wrapping his hand around Lowen’s hard, heated flesh as he pulled it free from its confines.
As much as he would love to have Lowen as naked as he was, no way was Blue separating them again. Apparently, Lowen must have felt the same, for he pulled a condom and lube from his back pocket just as Blue gave him a firm stroke.
“Fuck, love,” Lowen panted. “This is going to be fast.”
That was exactly what Blue was thinking. “Good. Then we’ll have time to do it again.”
He had no idea when he’d become so brazen, but it felt good to give in to his needs and desires. To feel Lowen’s dick pulse in his hand when he said the words only emboldened him further. “Maybe the second time around I’ll fuck you up against the shower wall.”
Two slick fingers shoved into his hole in reply. “Seriously, Blue,” Lowen bit out. “You can’t say shit like that when I’m this close to the edge of losing my ever-loving mind. The thought of your pretty dick,” Lowen wrapped his free hand around Blue’s prick, “inside of me is enough to make me come right now.”
That was another thing he loved about Lowen. Neither one cared who topped or bottomed. But what Blue appreciated the most, was that Lowen gave Blue a sense of freedom to be who he was without worrying about being judged. Nothing was ever off the table, even having sex on the porch swing.
A third finger joined the first two. It burned so damn good, since it meant he was close to having Lowen’s cock inside of him. Rocking back into the intimate act, Blue willed his impending orgasm back. No way was he willing to come before being filled by his lover.
But those fingers felt so damn good. “Fuck,” he shouted probably way too loudly if he didn’t want everyone coming outside to see what was going on. “Right there,” he begged when Lowen brushed against his prostate a second time. “God, don’t stop.”
He pushed his ass back, trying to impale himself further. But Lowen was just as on edge as he was and tugged his digits free. Blue let out a whimper of need as he reversed course and rocked his prick along Lowen’s amazing abdomen to give himself the friction he so desperately needed.
“Hurry,” he begged when he heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper being opened. If Lowen didn’t get inside of him soon, Blue was sure he was going to come before the main event and that would seriously suck.
Then it was there, that thick blunt head was at his entrance. As Lowen thrust up, Blue pushed down, sinking all the way onto Lowen’s cock until his ass was flush with Lowen’s thighs.
There was no way the neighbors didn’t hear his moan of bliss as he was stretched open. “Lowen,” he cried out softly, trying to modulate his voice.
There was nothing like having Lowen inside of him. All that heat spearing him, filling him completely. “Love,” he murmured even as he started to move upon Lowen’s lap.
“Love you too, my sweet…” Lowen let out a long, deep groan before he finished. His hands went to Blue’s hips, holding him so tight there would most likely be bruises as he planted his feet on the deck and thrust hard into him.
Their rhythm was hard and fast as Blue happily took Lowen’s cock as deep as possible. Electricity shot up his spine when that thick head slammed into his sweet spot. There was no holding back his orgasm after that, especially when Lowen nailed it again.
Blue threw his head back, and shouted, “Fuck,” as his balls pulled up, unloading their contents to spray out of his dick and onto Lowen’s chest and abdomen. Blue’s gaze zeroed on the way his seed marked his lover, claiming him to all who could see, causing another spurt of cum to pour out of him.
Lowen’s fingers clamped down even harder onto Blue’s waist, slamming him down once more
onto his length as Lowen pushed up and froze. His face contorted into sheer pleasure as heat filled up Blue’s channel when Lowen came into the condom.
“Fuck,” Lowen whispered as he tugged Blue against his chest and held him close. “I love you,” he whispered fiercely.
Touched that his lover was so emotional at the moment, Blue pressed his lips against the erratic pulse of Lowen’s throat. “I love you, too.”
They weren’t able to stay that way for long as Lowen needed to get rid of the condom. “I fucking hate having to use these things,” Lowen said as they got up from the swing.
Blue gathered their discarded clothing while Lowen tied off the condom. When they got inside, he tossed it in the trash and Blue put their clothes in the hamper. Then, as if they’d been doing this for years, they met in the bathroom.
Lowen turned on the shower, while Blue got out towels and placed them on the counter to easily reach when they were done. When they stepped into the shower, Blue reached for the loofah and Lowen grabbed the soap. Once he poured a dollop onto the spongy surface, Lowen put the soap back and got the shampoo.
While Blue washed Lowen from neck to feet, Lowen massaged the shampoo into Blue’s hair. Then they rinsed and switched. It was moments like this that Blue sometimes had to remind himself they’d only recently met. For when he was with Lowen it often felt as there’d never been a time when they’d been apart.
Yet, other times, it was as if he were seeing the world for the first time. There was no way to know if they would ever stay together when they had known each other for such a short time, but it was during these instances that Blue knew, deep in his bones, that they would last forever.
“Are you going to move in here, or do you want to find another place?” Blue asked as he thought about their future.
