Bittersweet Trust (A Bittersweet Novella Book 5)

by Beck, J. L.

  “There are really two in there?”

  “Yes. See here?” he explains, pointing out two distinct bodies. Well, that explains the five pound gain.

  Four hands, eyes, ears, and arms. Two hearts.

  I nod my head yes, signifying that I want to know the sex of the babies. I look over at Corey who’s forcing a smile. His face has a little color back in it, but he looks just as shocked as I am.

  “Anything you were hoping for?” Dr. Clive asks us. I shake my head, but Corey mumbles, “Yeah, a boy.” Of course he would want a boy.

  “Well, I’ll have you know, you’re having TWO boys.” And that people is the nail in the coffin. Two fucking boys. Add Corey in and I’m certain that I will be dead before the age of 25.

  “Yes!” Corey exclaims, jumping up and down.

  “Congratulations, you two,” Doctor Clive tells us. He cleans my belly off and leaves the room to get some pictures. He tells me the due date is perfect, and that because we’re having twins, we should just watch for signs of dehydration and exhaustion which can lead to other complications. It takes forever for it to hit me, and once I find myself sitting in Corey’s car, I just want to cry.

  “I must have super sperm,” Corey proudly states, trying to make light of the situation, I’m sure.

  “Two boys. Two fucking boys. Are you kidding me?” It’s not that I’m not happy with two boys, it’s that if they’re anything like their father, well, the world is doomed.

  “I wish I was, but nope…” There is a smug look on his face. No one is going to believe this. It’s almost as unbelievable as Jenna and Rex getting engaged, which by the way I wonder if Corey knows.

  “You knew Jenna and Rex were getting engaged, didn’t you?” I question, totally switching subjects.

  “I may have had some type of an idea…” he admits.

  “Really? She’s my best friend and you couldn’t even tell me?” I punch him in the arm, and he glares at me as he rubs the spot I just hit.

  “Oh, stop. You and I weren’t on speaking terms. Fucking terms, yes, speaking, no.” He starts the car, putting an end to the conversation. My eyes gaze down to the pictures in my lap. Two little humans, two little boys, two chances to change.

  ***

  “Pizza’s here!” Corey hollers, tipping back the beer in his hand. I don’t blame him for needing a drink. After the day we had, if I wasn’t pregnant, I would be downing a bottle of wine, or five.

  “Wow, he has clothes on,” Jenna says, trying to be a smartass.

  “Just wait five minutes and he won’t.”

  “Oh, he will, because I don’t want to see that shit,” Rex declares, coming over to me and wrapping me in a hug. I wrap my arms around him, returning the hug. However, the minute he lets go, I take to punching him in the arm.

  “Ouch! What was that for?”

  “For proposing to Jenna and not telling me. That’s what.”

  “Yeah, dude. You about got my head ripped off this afternoon,” Corey cuts in, a slice of pizza in hand.

  “Sorry. I didn’t know I needed to run things by the best friend first,” he responds.

  “You don’t, babe,” Jenna says, sticking up for him.

  “He does,” I scowl.

  “He doesn’t.”

  “You still should have let me know.” I pout as if I’m sad. I’m not really sad, more so happy for her.

  “We did today,” Rex interrupts yet again, one of the signature Winchester smiles being thrown my way. How do women not shimmy out of their panties when things like that are thrown their way?

  “Funny,” I quip, walking over by the pizza. It’s greasy and cheesy and most definitely not veggie chips.

  “Have you heard from Ryder?” Jenna asks Rex. Her voice is hushed, but I’m the bestie, so I would be able to hear her whisper across a football field filled with jocks.

  “Yeah, he’s over at Kennedy’s dorm room with her.” I smile to myself. I’m beyond happy that Ryder finally found someone, even if I didn’t think that he and Kennedy would work out in the beginning.

  At the very least, he got that asshole Sam to leave her alone, and to me, that’s more important than anything.

  “Oh, really… What exactly are they doing?” Jenna asks, wiggling her eyebrows back and forth at him. I watch them with amazement, and happiness fills my heart and overflows into every other part of me. We all have come such a long way.

  “Probably exactly what we should be doing.” His voice is deep and sexy. He leans over and whispers something in her ear that causes her to blush. Something tells me Jenna has become a lot more experienced in the bedroom.

  “They’re so adorable,” Corey says in a girly voice. I know he’s mocking me after watching me for the last couple of minutes.

  “They are… Do you think we should tell them?” I ask eagerly. I can’t wait to tell them. I’m still in shock, but I’m excited too.

  “Sure…” Grabbing the ultrasound pictures off the counter, he hands them to Jenna. She looks down at them and then up at me.

  “Are these of the baby?”

  “Babies,” I say, correcting her with a huge smile. The look on her face turns from excitement to downright surprise. Her eyes grow wide as she looks down at my belly and then to the pictures.

  “Two?” she exclaims as if she can’t believe it. I nod my head, walking over to the sofa adjacent to them.

  “Yup. There are two little mini-me’s in there,” Corey comments proudly. I catch the look on Rex’s face as he shakes his head. “You mean two mini devils.”

  “Boys? You’re having twins? Twin boys?” Jenna’s voice is full of incredulous excitement and possibly fear.

  I nod my head yes, then suddenly I’m being attacked. She all but tackles me, her small arms wrapping me in a bear hug.

  “I’m so excited for you guys! So gosh darn excited! We can go buy cribs and clothes… Oh, and I think I saw some super cute bedding at that Target on…”

  “Whoa, slow down girl.” I pull away, having to pry her off of me.

  “Did you just say no to shopping?”

  “No… Please don’t be upset, but… But, I want to go with Corey first. These are our babies, and I want to make the most of it with him. We have turned over about a million new leaves in the last twenty four hours, and I think we should be trying with each other.”

  Removing herself from the seat next to me, Jenna stands, crossing her arms over her chest. She glares at me like I just kicked twenty puppies.

  “You mean to tell me that you’re going to let that thing,” she says, gesturing to Corey who is now in a quiet conversation with Rex about The Walking Dead, “pick out bedding, clothes, and all the necessities needed for two babies?”

  “Yes. With my help.”

  She shakes her head at me, her mousy brown hair falling onto her face. “He realizes babies need things like formula, bottles, diapers, onesies, socks, and special bath soap? Oh, and don’t forget a peaceful, quiet home filled with love… Oh my God, how are you guys going to do this? How? And with twins? Twins?” Jenna is rambling as her irrational anxiety builds.

  “Calm down, Jenna, you’re being overly dramatic.”

  “How can you be so damn calm?”

  “I don’t know, really. I just know that something in me changed when I saw those two beating hearts on the ultrasound machine.” My gaze lingers on Corey’s as we stare at one another for a short time. Even with Jenna and Rex here, I still feel like it’s just me and him.

  Maybe because it’s always just been me and him.

  What’s in a Name?

  Corey

  My body was full of pent up aggression as I walked into the high school. Who the fuck did she think she was? She always thought she could say or do something and walk away from me like it wasn’t a big deal. But, oh, it was. It was a huge fucking deal, and I was about to show her just how big it was.

  “You do realize being a bitch is getting really fucking old?” I said, my voice quiet and deadly
. It needed to be for she had a way of weaseling her way under my skin.

  She turned around, her unique scent floating into my nostrils. She was surrounding my senses, and it was making me madder.

  “You realize that one, I don’t care and two, you’re an asshole who has no idea how fucking tiring it gets playing this back and forth game with you?” Those were the only words she spoke.

  She continued on down the hall, her hair falling down her back as her ass sways back and forth. On a scale of one to ten, she was an eleven, and the only girl in the school who was off limits to me. Not because I couldn’t have her, but because I knew one taste wouldn’t be enough.

  “This isn’t a game…” I said, jogging up to her. I reached out, grabbing her arm so that she couldn’t turn away from me.

  “Oh, it is. I might look dumb, Corey, but I’m far from it. I know your game: your rules, how you act, and how none of it matters to you. I don’t need to be told it’s a game, especially when I already know it is.” Her green eyes pierced mine, and I felt the distinct anger building in her. The anger that had me beating off at night as I imagined her beneath me, the fiery hate in her eyes…. Fuck.

  “You know nothing about me…” The venom in my voice was so full of hatred, I almost wanted to apologize. I knew being cold toward her did me no good. She fed off of it just as I fed off her anger. We fueled each other just enough to make it through the days.

  “I know your dad steps out on your mom all the time. I know it hurts you, and I know that you worry that someday you might turn into your father. I’m observant of my surroundings, Corey.” Her words were deafening to my ears.

  Okay, so she knew more than I had initially thought.

  “Just because you know things about my family doesn’t mean you know me.” My voice was growing colder with every word. If someone asked me if I really hated her, I would always tell them yes, but deep down I loved her. Every hateful word that was said was really my own way of saying I want you. Only, she didn’t know, or maybe she did and wasn’t telling.

  “You’re right,” she responded, her eyes piercing mine. “I like to think that the misfortunes that surround people can’t define them. I like to see the good in people, and honestly, I used to see that in you. Now when I look at you, it’s as if I don’t know you at all. Looks like your biggest fear is coming true: you’re more like your father than you ever thought.”

  I clenched my fists harder and harder with every sinister word she said. She was trying to hurt me, bait me into breaking down one of the walls I had built, just so she could see a glimpse of the old me.

  “My father is a dead beat who ruined my family’s life. I’m nothing like him,” I gritted out. My teeth and jaw ached… I was clenching my mouth so tightly that I was sure it was about to snap.

  Taking a step forward into my space, she stared at me. Her eyes unmoving. It was as if she wasn’t afraid of me, and that wasn’t something I could handle. People needed to be afraid of me; it was the easiest way to keep them out.

  “You are. The way you treat Jenna and the way you treat me are just like how your father treats your mother. You want to be looked at as the king you so arrogantly call yourself? Start acting like one.” Then she stepped back and started walking away. She always got the last say, always….

  “You’re nothing but a bitch. You know that, right?” I screamed at her. I could feel the fire in my veins ripping to life. If she wasn’t a girl and someone important to me, I would’ve laid her ass out.

  She stopped dead in her tracks again and turned around. Her eyes held secrets, and it seemed as if she might actually be hurt by my words. Until she smiled…

  “It’s Ms. Bitch to you. Remember that next time you address me, asshole.” I wanted to laugh at her comment but couldn’t knowing she was still somewhat close. Instead, I silently watched as she walked away, leaving me to think about our conversation. Was I really turning into my father?

  Just like a scene out of a movie, I shoot forward, straight out of bed. My body is covered in sweat, and I feel it dripping off of me and onto to the sheets. Looking down, I take notice of Mimi, her small body molded against mine. Her hair is a raging mess and her two-times-too-big night shirt is riding up on her. She is so beautiful in the moment…

  Lying back against the pillow, I allow a sigh to escape my lips. I am not sure where the dream came from. It was one of the many snarky conversations Mimi and I had before we actually became something. We ran circles around each other for months before we both said forget it.

  “What are you thinking about?” A sleepy voice asks. Popping one eye open, I look down at her. Her green eyes are shining brightly up at me. I am not sure if I should be telling her what I am thinking about. Some things are best kept to one’s self.

  “Remember how we always used to go in circles? I would bait you; you would bait me? We would hate on each other.”

  She nods her head, a smile pulling at her lips. “We still hate on each other.”

  “I know we do, but we do it a lot differently than we used to.” My mind is starting to wander toward something that it doesn’t need to.

  “When did that change?” I ask her curiously, my eyes shifting to the ceiling of her room.

  “Maybe after you knocked me up? I don’t really know. I kind of always had a thing for you, even when you were an asshole and I felt the need to knee you in the balls. Why?” Her brow furrows, and she looks as if she is worried.

  “I just woke up from a dream. It wasn’t really a bad dream since I couldn’t possibly call it that with you in it,” I tease, my fingers grabbing a wisp of hair that has escaped from behind her ear.

  “I don’t know about that. You’ve told me many times I was your worst nightmare…” She has a look on her face that says she clearly doesn’t believe me.

  I smile, leaning down. “Oh, really? Well, I would say now you’re the woman of my dreams. You did, however, used to scare the shit out of me.”

  Mimi rolls her eyes. “It was for a good cause. You were an asshole, and someone had to stick up to you. Otherwise, your ego would be bigger than your heart and brain, and you would be shit up a creek.”

  “I can show you something else that’s just a bit bigger than my ego….” I tease, giving her a wink. I stare at her, watching as she moves to a sitting position. Her body faces me as she forces herself between my legs.

  “Tell me what your dream was about?” she probes gently, her fingers tracing a circle on my legs. I close my eyes, taking myself back to the time and place.

  “It was about you and me. You and I had somehow ended up in the hall having a spat about me and my attitude. You told me I was like my father…” The mere thought of her saying such a thing has my blood boiling again.

  “You know I don’t think you’re like your father.” Her voice is comforting and nurturing, the kind of voice a mother gives her children when they are sad about something.

  “Now you don’t, but in the past you did and somehow that entered my subconscious mind.” I am starting to feel insecure, and I want to purge all the insecurities I have. Except, I am still afraid. Yes, I, a grown man, am afraid to admit my faults and fears. It is like giving someone a loaded gun and telling them not to shoot you.

  She shrugs her shoulders like it isn’t a big deal. “That was then. Things are different now. You’re different now.” Reaching out, she grabs my hand. “You’re not like your father, and it was wrong of me to accuse you of being like him. You had your own reasons for acting the way you did, but that doesn’t matter because you have changed. You recognized that your behavior was wrong and changed it.”

  Looking down at her hand in mine, I am not sure if I will ever be good enough for her. I wonder if I will ever be able to move on from the things I did or the things my father made me do. Then again, it wasn’t him who couldn’t control his emotions; that’s all on me. I am learning that just because someone pisses you off, it doesn’t mean you have to go around busting heads together. So
metimes your silence is enough and speaks louder than words.

  “I know… Man, do I know. I changed. I realized the effects of my bad behavior, but the fact that I was still shitty to people is still in the back of my mind. The fact that I used to be as cold and hateful as the very man I don’t ever want to become, tells me that I was close to being him.”

  It is so strange how the one thing you never wanted to become can slowly become your biggest fear. I let that fear consume me, which in turn forced me into becoming the one thing I hated most—my father.

  “You are not him, and you never will be. To be him would mean you don’t have a heart, but I know you do…” Her tiny hand encompasses my cheek in a soft hold. Our eyes meet, showing me the honesty brewing in them.

  I swallow past the knot that has formed in my throat. I never knew if I would get another chance; if I would be forgiven by the people I hurt the most. Looking back on everything I did, I know I couldn’t ever say I liked the person I was then. In fact, he was the biggest asshole known to mankind.

  Her hand slips down to my chest, coming to rest against my heart. It is beating frantically…

  “I know you’re not like him because your heart beats strongly. We all make bad choices and do bad things. It’s a live-and-learn process, and you can’t let it control you. You learn from your past, move on from the things you’ve done, and accept that you can only say sorry so much.”

  She is right; she is so right. How she knows the things to say to get me to step back from the ledge, I am not sure. I do know, though, that in her, I find the happiness and love I have always longed for. Whether she knows it or not, she saved me from becoming the person I hated most.

  “I love you…” I whisper right before I bend forward and press my lips firmly against hers. She pushes into me as I nip at her lips, slipping my tongue into her mouth. Our tongues mingle with one another’s, and then I find myself on my back, her hands gliding down my chest. Mimi pulls away, biting at my bottom lip in a way that makes me want to flip her over and fuck her until we both can’t walk.