Heart of Love

by Shanna Hatfield

  Jake, whose typical choice of female companionship involved a petite buxom blonde with a name he wouldn’t remember five minutes after their date ended.

  She wondered if he cared about her, too, or if she was she just another passing fancy to him? He could have his choice of girls. Was he ready to settle into a long-term relationship with her?

  Jake was the only one who could answer her questions.

  As she calmed down, Anna realized that even if he hadn’t said anything, Jake had showed her numerous times how he felt.

  Tonight was a perfect example.

  Even though they let their passion run farther away from their good sense than either of them intended, she couldn’t believe how quickly he jumped into action, making sure she was sheltered from prying eyes, doing his best to keep her reputation intact.

  Anna knew he could have left her to scuttle herself back together, but his first thought was to protect and shield her.

  One thing Anna knew for certain, there would be no more time spent in the back of a pickup under the stars with Jake.

  The combination proved too potent for her to handle.

  Chapter Twelve

  Anna sat on the end of a pew next to Sam at church the next morning when someone nudged her leg, indicating she should scoot over.

  Without taking her eyes off the open Bible on her lap, she slid closer to Sam, leaving a space beside her. Her brother’s elbow dug into her ribs, causing her head to snap up. When she glared at him, he nodded toward her other side with a crooked grin.

  Slowly turning her head, Anna was shocked to discover Jake beside her. He appeared sorry and contrite.

  In light of what they’d almost done, Anna couldn’t think of a more appropriate place for the two of them to be than at church that morning.

  She smiled warily at Jake then forced her attention to Pastor Douglas as he asked for the opening hymn to begin.

  Unable to focus on the pastor’s sermon, she had to give Jake credit for good behavior. Throughout the service, he never once tried to touch her, kept his hands to himself, and even made sure his pant leg stayed away from her skirt.

  After the service, she introduced him to Pastor Douglas as “a friend.” The pastor, a full-time custodian at the junior high school, offered his services to the congregation every Sunday. Anna usually enjoyed his sermons and most often took away ideas for consideration, but today was an exception.

  Her parents waited for them outside, eager to greet Jake. Ken and Sam both shook his hand and Sue gave him a welcoming hug. “How nice to have you join our little congregation this morning.”

  Jake nodded his head, but kept his gaze on Anna.

  Ken escorted his wife to their car, but Sue looked back over her shoulder to where Anna and Jake stared at each other, not talking. Sensing the tension crackling between the two of them, she decided to let them work out their problems without interfering. Although, a little push in the right direction couldn’t hurt. “You’re coming for lunch, aren’t you Jake. We won’t take no for an answer.”

  “Thanks, Sue.” Jake looked her direction and smiled. “I’d love to.”

  “You’ll give Sugar a ride home, won’t you, Jake?” Ken called as he shut Sue’s car door and started around to the driver’s side of their car.

  “Yes, sir. I’ll see her home.”

  Jake raised an eyebrow and offered Anna a reticent smile. He held out his arm to her, and she placed her hand on it, walking with him to his pickup. She prayed for strength and wisdom as he helped her climb into the cab. They drove in silence and were almost to the farm lane when Jake finally spoke.

  “Anna, I understand if you’re angry with me and never want to see me again, but please know I’m very sorry about last night. I hope you can forgive me.” He slowed the truck to a crawl, hoping to get an answer from her before they arrived at the house.

  Determined not to cry, Anna lifted her chin and drew in a deep breath. “I owe you an apology as well. Not only did I allow things go too far, I enjoyed it. I’m mortified by my inappropriate behavior. Please accept my apologies.”

  Jake bit his lip to keep from laughing, surprised by Anna’s words. It wasn’t like she played fast and loose with him or led him on. Anna was as sweet and innocent as they came, and if he had anything to say about it, she’d stay that way.

  “You did nothing wrong, Anna. Not at all. I would never think you were anything besides a very sweet girl. Honest.”

  Slowly sliding her hand across the seat, she touched the back of his. “Thank you.”

  After lunch, Anna volunteered to clean up the kitchen. She kicked off her sandals, tied an apron over her church dress, and loaded the dishwasher while Jake cleared the table.

  Grateful for their help, Sue and Ken went to the living room to read the Sunday paper while Sam and Lisa sat in the family room looking through bridal magazines and making wedding plans. They picked the second Saturday in September for a wedding date – the date they had originally planned to wed before Sam’s accident.

  Anna was happy to see Sam and Lisa moving forward with life, especially now that Sam could walk again. By next summer, he’d be able to resume managing the farm and Anna could return to whatever it was she wanted to do.

  She released a sigh, mulling over her future as she scrubbed a pot that wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher.

  Jake leaned close and spoke into her ear. “Penny for your thoughts.”

  Anna turned her gaze to his with a bashful smile. “I was thinking about where I’ll be this time next year. Sam will be back at one hundred percent and they won’t need me here at the farm. I was considering my options.”

  The possibility of Anna wanting to be anywhere except at the farm never once crossed Jake’s mind. He couldn’t picture her returning to Portland, or doing anything other than working at the library and on the farm. The thought of her leaving hit him like a kick to the stomach. The force was nearly enough to double him over and make him ill.

  “You mean you’d leave the farm? Go back to the city?” As he worked to keep the panic out of his voice, he hoped Anna would offer reassurance that she’d never leave.

  “I don’t know. It would just depend,” she said, cryptically.

  “On?” Jake questioned, growing irritated. What was she trying to do to him? Would she really leave the farm? Leave him?

  “Things.” Anna didn’t want to have this conversation with Jake, not at the moment. Her feelings for him were too fresh and confusing, particularly in light of the fact that she loved him. If Jake wasn’t serious about their budding relationship, she wouldn’t stay around. She couldn’t bear to see him with anyone else and working across the street from him would be an agony beyond considering.

  “What things?” Jake asked, hoping to get her to say something he could argue against, a way to convince her she needed to stay.

  “Just things.” Anna set her jaw.

  When she did that, it did no good to push her because she wouldn’t say anything further until she was good and ready.

  They finished the rest of the dishes in silence. Anna removed her apron and hung it on a hook on the back of the pantry door then took Jake’s hand and tugged him outside. They wandered around the yard, holding hands, not talking about anything significant. She commented on her mother’s garden and flowers. He asked how the crops were doing.

  Eventually, they both relaxed and fell into their old pattern of talking like good friends. In the backyard, Anna dropped his hand and ran over to a swing hanging in a massive tree. With a running start, she jumped onto the seat.

  Jake’s heart softened watching her. Soft dapples of sunlight filtered through the leaves of the tree and danced around Anna in shimmering droplets. The skirt of the lavender dress she wore floated airily on the breeze. When she tossed back her head, her hair trailed loose and thick behind her while she pointed her bare feet in the air. Her throaty laughter drifted to him, calming his scattered thoughts.

  The scene would have made a b
eautiful painting, if Jake had any artistic ability. Serenity would be a fitting title. Regardless of his lack of a canvas, the image would be forever etched into his heart.

  “Come give me a push, fancy boy,” Anna called over her shoulder with a teasing smile that made warmth curl into his chest.

  Jake laughed, picturing Anna as a little girl on the swing begging for a push. He’d bet she was adorable then, too.

  “How high do you want to fly, Sugar?” he asked as he walked over and gave her a big push. She soared into the air, her laughter floating down on him like a soothing balm. After all his years of running around with the party crowd, he never once would have imagined something as simple as pushing a sweet girl on a swing could bring him such intense joy and pleasure. Some of the most beautiful pleasures life had to offer intertwined with the most simple and pure.

  He prepared to give her another big push when cold water splashed against his back with a burst. Quickly grabbing the swing and pulling it to a stop, he and Anna turned to see Sam and Lisa holding a bucket full of water balloons.

  “You two lovebirds look like you need cooling off.” Threateningly, Sam tossed a balloon up in the air and caught it.

  “Really?” Jake hooked his thumbs in his front pants pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. “And you two think you’re the ones for the job?”

  “Yep, we do.” Sam narrowed his gaze and sneered.

  He and Jake looked like they were enacting a play of an old west show down. Between the swaggering, gesturing, and squinting, Anna and Lisa had a hard time not laughing themselves silly.

  Jake turned to Anna and mouthed something the other two couldn’t hear. Anna dashed around the corner of the house and soon returned, standing close to Jake.

  “Bring it on, man.” Jake motioned his hands at Sam then nodded to Anna. She handed him the garden hose with a sprayer nozzle attached.

  Jake sprayed Sam at the same time the man launched another water missile, hitting Jake on the side of the head. Lisa threw one at Anna that missed by a mile but didn’t burst. Anna grabbed it up and threw it back at Lisa, catching her full on the back.

  With no ammunition, Anna took refuge behind Jake. She stuck her tongue out at her brother then used Jake as a shield. Sam and Lisa aimed and fired, sometimes hitting their targets, sometimes missing. If any of the balloons survived, Anna threw them back with consistent accuracy.

  Their shrieks and laughter drew Sue and Ken’s interest to see what caused all the commotion. As they watched out the family room window, they decided to stay safely inside and enjoy the show.

  When Sam and Lisa ran out of balloons, they threw their hands in the air and called a truce. Jake let go of the nozzle and turned off the spray.

  “So you two admit you’ve been had?” Jake inquired, still pointing the hose their direction.

  “We give, we give. You win!” Sam bent over, trying to catch his breath. Lisa shook water out of her hair and attempted to wring it from the hem of her skirt.

  Anna high-fived Jake as she walked around the side of the house to turn off the hose. She returned with a pile of towels. The foursome wandered to the patio. They sank onto wicker chairs and soaked in the sunshine. Sue brought out a tray of lemonade and cookies then went inside, pleased to see her kids have such a carefree afternoon.

  When their clothes had dried and they grew sleepy from the sun, Jake got up and stretched. He stuck his hand out to Sam and grinned. “We’ll have to do this again, but if you give me a heads-up, I’ll bring my own weaponry.”

  “You bet, Jake.” Sam labored to his feet. “Thanks for hanging out with us today.”

  “Thanks for having me.” Jake turned to Lisa and tipped his head Sam’s direction. “You keep this guy out of trouble, okay?”

  Lisa smiled. “Absolutely,” she said, looping her arm around Sam’s. “That’s what I’m here for.”

  Anna hurried inside the house to let her parents know Jake was leaving. She found them asleep on the couch in the family room. Unwilling to disturb them, she quietly shut the door and turned to Jake. “I know you wanted to say goodbye to Mom and Dad, but they’re both asleep and I hate to bother them.”

  “No problem. Just give them my thanks, please.” Jake strolled out to his truck, holding her hand. “I had a lot of fun today, and I appreciated what Pastor Douglas shared this morning about forgiveness. If you think you could stand my company, I may join you next Sunday.”

  Anna smiled. She thought the pastor had preached about guilt. She’d have to reread the verses he mentioned during his sermon. “I’d love to have you join us again, Jake. It was nice to have you at church this morning and I enjoyed spending the afternoon with you. I hope we can do it again soon.”

  “Me too, Sugar.” Jake gave her a teasing grin then kissed the tip of her nose. Climbing in his truck, he left with a wave, glad that all was right in his world once again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Anna had no idea why Jake wanted to attend this particular party. She resented spending a rare evening with Jake in a crowded room filled with people she’d never met and didn’t really want to get to know.

  She and Jake had barely seen each other for the past several weeks. Between their regular jobs and farm work, they were too exhausted to make time for dating. A few weeks ago, she’d gone with him out to the ranch, riding with the Chandlers and Matthews when they rounded up cattle. Other than a few stolen moments before or after work, church was the only time they had together.

  When he called to see what she had planned for that night, she hoped he’d agree to a quiet dinner at home and hanging out to watch a movie. He mentioned a party and asked if she’d like to go. She really didn’t want to, but could tell he did, so she put on her fancy cocktail dress, climbed into shoes she thought might cause her to break an ankle, and smiled when Jake picked her up after work.

  The only person she knew in attendance was his friend Dave. He strolled around with a ditzy blonde hanging on his arm. Her main assets were not intelligence or the ability to carry on a stimulating conversation.

  Attentive as always, Jake introduced her to a multitude of people. Their names were lost in the noise and after a while, their faces started to blur.

  A group of girls cornered her and asked personal questions about Jake she wasn’t willing to answer. She found their probing inquiries appalling and wondered how Jake could stand to be around any of them. When the girls started whispering comments amongst themselves, Anna excused herself and went in search of Jake.

  Later, she stood near the door where fresh air rolled in with each new attendee, hoping Jake would soon decide to leave. The combined aromas of beer, salsa, and cheap perfume gave her a throbbing headache. The loud, thumping music and the escalating hum of conversation made it impossible for her to hear.

  Jake had gone to get them a cold soda but made slow progress across the room when friends continued to stop to talk to him.

  She looked over and caught him watching her while he talked. She smiled. He nodded his head then winked at her. That wink made her feel better than anything else had since they arrived.

  Unsettled and feeling completely out of place, Anna kept experiencing the sensation of being stared at although she didn’t see anyone in particular looking her direction.

  She’d hoped her cocktail dress, stylish in its simplicity, would blend in with the crowd. Unfortunately, the low-cut tops and super-short skirts that left nothing to the imagination worn by most of the female attendees only made her stand out.

  Anna glanced at Jake again, hoping to catch his eye and convey her desire to leave.

  He twisted his head to speak to someone, so she couldn’t read his lips. He turned his head her direction again and she tried to lip-read what he said. When Anna could finally make out his words, her heart crumpled at her feet.

  “I knew from the start Anna wasn’t my type. She’s shy, quiet, and a librarian, of all things…” Jake said to his friend.

  Anna sucked in a dee
p breath. If she wasn’t his type, then what was she doing here with him? What had they been doing together the last several months?

  She might be shy, but she wasn’t stupid. Mr. Jake Chandler could consider himself free to find a girl more to his liking because she was finished with him.

  As soon as he turned his head to answer a question, Anna slipped out the door. She started for her car before remembering Jake picked her up after work. If she judged correctly, they were only a mile or two from the library.

  The spiked heels she wore weren’t designed for a hike, but Anna was too mad to care. It never occurred to her to wait for Jake and question him, to see if Dave would give her a ride, or call a cab. Instead, she marched down the street, anger fueling each teetering step.

  Jake had a lot of nerve, pretending to be interested in her, wooing her, making her feel cherished and important. How could she have been so wrong about him? He’d acted like the nicest guy in the world. She realized it must have been all a big joke to him.

  Toying with the library mouse.

  Well, she was one mouse that wouldn’t be had by the likes of Jake Chandler.

  In her state of disillusionment and anger, Anna didn’t stop to wonder what motive Jake would have to feign interest in her. All she knew was what she saw him say. “Not my type,” echoed relentlessly through her mind.

  Good luck to him with his type. If the girl draped over Dave’s arm was any indication of his type, more power to them both.

  In the forty-five minutes it took Anna to reach her car, she’d worked herself into a fit of anger unlike any she’d ever experienced. As she unlocked the car door and sank into the leather seat, she knew her feet would never be the same. Sores oozed and caused fiery pain, but it was nothing compared to the agony shooting through her heart.

  Forcefully shifting the car into reverse, Anna whipped around and peeled out of the parking lot. Desperate to go home, she didn’t care how many traffic laws she broke getting there.