Fighting Envy

by Jennifer Miller

  “Yes.”

  “So, I told him that we should just go to court and let them decide. They can figure out what he owes me and what he should pay going forward in child support. I didn’t tell him this, but I’d want sole custody and they can help figure out visitation. Anyway, he got angry. Told me that the only reason he even contacted me was because after I saw him at the mall he knew he was caught and didn’t want me to take him to court. He was hoping we could work it out on our own. He told me he has his wife and daughter to take care of.”

  My mouth falls open, “Wife? You’ve got to be kidding me. That asshole,” I seethe. I want to hunt him down and put his head on a spike like they did in the old days. He deserves worse but that would satisfy me for sure. “Are you okay? That had to be a shock.”

  “I guess?”

  “Why do you seem confused?

  “Because, it didn’t really bother me that much. Not like it would have four months ago. I’m just over it. I’m over him. I’ve moved on.” She smiles at me, “I’m in love. I’m happy. I don’t care about him anymore or anything about his life. I ended up hanging up on him. I doubt I’ll be hearing from him again and that’s just fine with me.”

  “It is?”

  “Definitely.”

  Her statement both excites me and makes me want to kiss her, and confuses me, but before I can ask her anything the doctor comes in. An hour later, Rowan has a sleeping Lily in her arms and we’re ready to leave. Both of us are relived to find out that it appears Lily’s had an allergic reaction to some kind of insect bite. We know too well it could have been something much worse. We aren’t sure what got her, but the doctor thinks it was something from our time at the park a couple days ago and it just got infected and became inflamed. They gave her a shot to fight the infection and other than that they rubbed some Neosporin on it, told us cold compresses will help, to keep giving her Tylenol to keep her fever down, and gave us a prescription for antibiotics. The shot is a good jump-start to the antibiotics and we have to give her the liquid kind over the next few days. The doctor told us that we should spray bug spray on her for future park visits and told us the safe kind to buy for babies.

  When we walk out into the waiting room, Rowan stops and I look at her to see why and then follow her gaze. All the guys are sitting in the waiting room. Levi has his head resting on Cole’s shoulder. Ryder’s flirting with a nurse behind the nursing station, Zane’s pacing the floor and Dylan is looking at his phone. “They all came?”

  “Of course,” I shrug. “We were all at the gym when you called.”

  Zane notices us first, “Guys,” he says and everyone else hops up and makes their way to us, Ryder too. They surround us, each peeking at Lily and giving her kisses on the cheek while asking Rowan what happened. We fill them in and they all look as relieved as we do. When we start walking out the door, Rowan tugs my hand and holds me back for a second. “I get it now.”

  I look at her in confusion, “What do you mean?”

  “Family.” She looks at me, Lily, and all the guys in front of her. “I get it.”

  Nodding, I feel too choked up to respond. Placing a small kiss on her lips, I put my hand on her back and steer her to the truck. All the guys insist on piling into Cole’s truck so Rowan and I can go back to her place. After Rowan kisses each and every one of them on the cheek, which I begrudgingly allow - even when Ryder looks at me and winks just to piss me off - we each get in our cars and I follow her home.

  When we get to her place, we put Lily in her crib and then go to Rowan’s room shutting the door behind us. We turn to one another at the same time, “I’m sorry,” she says at the same time I say, “I need to apologize.” We both laugh.

  “I’m sorry I left earlier. I should have stayed and talked everything out with you.”

  She shakes her head, “I understand. I wish you had stayed too, but maybe we both needed a breather. It was actually good for me. It gave me some time to realize a few things.”

  “Me too,” I reply. “Look, the way I acted about Jason is wrong. Regardless of how things ended up going down with him tonight, I just felt threatened by him and it make me act out.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because. I hate the history that the two of you share. I hate the fact that he’s the father of your baby. I hate the fact that you will always be connected to him because of that. I was afraid. I was afraid that if he pushed hard enough that he’d use your past to get to you, and you’d want your ordinary family with him and babe, I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Oh, Jax. I’m so, so sorry.” She walks to her bed and sits and I do the same. “I don’t want to lose you either, and I’m so sad that I made you feel and think otherwise. I never realized that while my mom’s words have always stuck with me, what I’ve really been fighting against all along is the envy and anger she felt. She was angry at my dad for leaving, angry at Tyson and me for being born, angry at the kind of life she had. She was jealous of everyone around her that she felt had it better than she did, and she used it as a crutch her whole life. It was an excuse for why things weren’t good for her. She told me I wasn’t worthy of love. She said that I would always be alone and I believed her, Jax. Some of this I’ve told you before, but I don’t know if I’ve ever confessed that. I said sometimes I was afraid she was right, but really I believed her. I told myself that I didn’t, but I did. I’ve been clinging to this idea of a ‘normal family’ because in my mind it’s been how I prove my mom wrong. But you see, what I failed to realize is that I’ve had it all along. I have the fairytale - it’s just with an unconventional family. Tyson, you, me, Lily, the guys, we are a family. You, me and Lily, we are a family. I am surrounded by love. You are surrounded by love, and my god, it’s so beautiful. Our family is so beautiful. My mom was wrong. I am worthy, I’m not alone and all I feel for her now is sadness that she wasn’t able to look past the jealousy she had for others and realize that she could have had the same thing. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Jason. And I really don’t care - truly I don’t. How involved he is, or isn’t, is on him and the court if it comes to that. If he decides to be involved, you and I will create boundaries and decide what works for us, because that comes first. Our family comes first. I love you, Jax. So much. You have nothing to fear, no reason to feel threatened, you and Lily - you’re my everything.

  “You’re mine too, and you don’t have anything to apologize for.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “No, you don’t. A relationship is full of love, faith, trust, passion, dreams and understanding. You and me? We have that in spades. But sometimes there will be disagreements, misunderstandings and uncertainties and that’s okay. It’s those other things that will help us get through them. You’re right. We’re beautiful and it’s perfect.”

  I pull her to me and kiss her. I put all my love, need and passion into that kiss. I kiss her like I never want it to end. Everything she said, everything she feels is everything I’ve hoped for. Everything I’ve ever wanted. Pulling away, I pull her to standing and then I stand in front of her and slowly strip off her clothes. She reaches out and undresses me as well. We stand and look at one another for a moment, before I pick her up and place her on the bed. I begin kissing her again, but then pull away and trace kisses down her jaw, chin, neck and chest making my way to her breasts. Lavishing her breasts with attention, bringing each nipple to a hard peak, I groan at the sight, “Fucking beautiful, babe.” I give it the same treatment. She makes sounds that make my pulse race faster.

  Kissing, biting and licking down her stomach, I start to make my way lower but she surprises me. “No.” She pushes me back and gets me to roll on my back. I stare amazed at her beauty as she rises over me, straddles my lap and positions herself at the top of my cock. Looking into my eyes, she slams herself down on me in one quick motion making me grunt in surprise. Cocking a brow at me as if she dares me to tell her to stop, she says “I want you now.”

  All I can do is nod
at her and stare into her eyes, lost in the love, desire, need and passion they hold. Gripping her hips I help her find a rhythm as she rises and falls on me. Throwing her head back in her passion she’s fucking beautiful. Hair flowing down her back, tits proudly thrust forward, riding me up and down with complete abandon, her face is filled with desire. When she shatters around me, her pussy tightens on my cock over and over and I can’t handle it a moment longer. Flipping her over onto her back I sit back on my heels. Pushing into her again, I lift her under her hips to get deeper access and moan at the feeling of her clenching around me. “God, Rowan, you feel amazing. You’re so tight.”

  “Fuck me, Jax. Please. Fuck me.”

  I reach down and rub her clit hoping to bring her to a second orgasm. Her eyes are hooded with her passion and the sounds she’s making tell me she’s just about there again. I press harder onto her clit and feel satisfaction when she tightens around me again in orgasm. Thrusting once, twice, then three times, I release into her. Leaning forward, I kiss her all over her face. “Move in with me.”

  “What?!”

  Her eyes flash open wide and it makes me chuckle. “I want you and Lily with me all the time. I know you may have doubts because of Tyson-“

  “Yes.”

  Smiling wide, knowing I’m showing her the dimples she loves, I kiss her soundly on the lips. “Yes?”

  “Yes. I would love to move in with you. Tyson will be fine. This is about us and I want to live with you. I love you so much.”

  Sighing into her neck, I kiss it, “I love you too.”

  Later, we sneak into Lilys’ room and peek into her crib. She’s sleeping peacefully, and we both breathe a sigh of relief, glad she’s comfortable. Holding Rowan in my arms and looking down at Lily, I’m thankful that all those months ago when Rowan slammed the door in my face, that I didn’t just give up and walk away. Obstacles are sometimes placed in our way to see if what we want is really worth it. What I know, what I’ve learned, is that love is always worth the fight.

  THE END

  Coming up next - FIGHTING WRATH

  When Tyson meets the one girl that calms the constant, uncontrollable rage simmering inside, he’ll do anything to make her his.

  Thank you so much for reading the first book in my new series. I’ve been super excited for you all to read it, and I hope you enjoyed it. I have several people to thank for supporting me through this new journey.

  To my husband and daughters, thank you for putting up with the fact that I live in my own mind the majority of the time. I can become a nightmare when I’m on deadline and you all love me anyway – you just throw chocolate at me like you’re feeding a tiger. Thanks for getting me.

  Mom, I find myself thanking you every book I write so I need to say thank you for being my constant support each and every time. I can’t convey how much it means to me, but I’ll continue to try. You and I make a great team.

  Gypsy Rae Choszer, Cora Brent, Angela Corbett, Jennifer Domenico – your advice, support and brain storming sessions are priceless. Thank you all for being my friends. The InDivas – thank you for always answering my questions, sharing my posts and supporting me, no questions asked. I’m lucky to have such a great support group in you.

  Tara Brown, you are a word master! Thank you for always helping me with my blurbs. I freaking hate them! You always know just what I’m trying to say. You’re amazing.

  Robin Harper, thank you for making me this gorgeous cover. I can’t wait to continue the series with you. Elaine, thank you for making my books look great on the inside. You do an amazing job and your turn around time kicks ass! Jess Peterson, thank you for all your promo help.

  Miller’s Killer’s – thank you for your unwavering support and all the dinosaur jokes. I love you girls!

  Bloggers, thank you for always promoting me and sharing my posts time and time again. It gives me a thrill every time!

  To all my readers, thank you for picking up my books and taking a chance on me over and over. My goal has always been to offer an escape from reality to readers for a few hours – I hope you were able to get lost in my book and enjoyed the ride.

  Author Jennifer Miller was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois but now calls Arizona home. Her love of reading began when she was a small child, and only continued to grow as she entered adulthood. Ever since winning a writing contest at the young age of nine, when she wrote a book about a girl with a pet unicorn, she’s dreamed of writing a book of her own. The important lesson she learned about dreams is that they don’t just fall into your lap – you have to chase them yourself. Most importantly, she is a wife and mother, and is very lucky to have a family that loves and supports her in all things. She also has an unhealthy addiction to handbags and chocolate covered strawberries, neither of which she cares to work on. For more information about Jennifer Miller, please visit www.jennifermillerwrites.com.

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  Other books by Jennifer Miller

  Pretty Little Lies

  Amazon | Barnes & Noble

  Pretty Little Dreams

  Amazon | Barnes & Noble

  Pretty Little Vows - A Novella

  Amazon

  Perfect Little Plan

  Amazon | Barnes & Noble

  Whispering Wishes

  Amazon | Barnes & Noble