Ray of Life

by E. L. Todd

  “I’d like to,” she said. “If you’ll allow me. I think he deserves to know that he has great friends who would do anything to see him happy. Besides, it’ll be a lot easier for me to tell him the truth than make up a lie.”

  I definitely didn’t want their relationship to start off in a shaky way. “Yeah, you can tell him.”

  “Okay, great. Well, it was nice to meet all of you. I’m really glad we talked. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and this pointed me in the right direction. Nathan and I were having dinner together when we ran into my parents… They were pretty appalled by the idea of us getting back together. That was when I started to realize it would never work. They both love Ryker.”

  “He’s easy to love,” I said. “You really couldn’t find a better guy.”

  She finally smiled, looking as beautiful as she did in the pictures Ryker showed me. “I know. I’m very lucky.”

  13

  Ryker

  I sat on my couch with my beer in my hand. There wasn’t anything good on TV, so I put on a hockey game. I wasn’t a big fan of the sport, but at least it was a sport. It was better than all the other crap that was on.

  I texted Rae and asked if the gang wanted to hang out tonight before they flew out in the morning, but she never texted me back. Maybe she and Zeke wanted to have a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant in the city. Maybe Rex and Kayden were doing the same thing. I understood and didn’t take it personally.

  My phone lit up with a text message from Austen. Can I come by?

  I sat upright and put my beer on the coaster. Anytime Austen texted me, she had my full attention. I didn’t care about food or alcohol anymore. Sure. She wasn’t spending the evening with Nathan, which was a relief. I only had one more week of this misery before she picked me or Nathan.

  She better pick me.

  I’ll be there in ten minutes.

  I was already dressed and the housecleaners had just finished cleaning the place, so there was nothing for me to do. I looked at the clock and counted down the minutes until she arrived. Like a dog waiting for their owner, it felt like an eternity.

  Longer than an eternity.

  Finally, she knocked on the door.

  I was nervous like usual. Anytime I was about to interact with her, I felt the adrenaline spike in my blood. Any moment with her could be my last. She could say those dreaded words any day now, that she would rather be with Nathan instead of me.

  I wouldn’t be a graceful loser. I’d tell her she was making a mistake and beg her to reconsider even though she’d already made up her mind. If it were any other woman, I’d pretend to be indifferent just to save my pride.

  But I didn’t play games with Austen.

  I wore my heart on my sleeve.

  I opened the door and saw her standing on the other side in a dark blue dress. It tied around her neck, making a deep V in the front. I could see the flawless skin of her chest and the slight swell of her breasts. As much as I wanted to stare, I remained a perfect gentleman and didn’t look. “Hey, sweetheart.” I ushered her inside then shut the door. “Wanna grab a beer?” There was nothing to watch here, and as much as I wouldn’t mind making out on my bed, I didn’t trust myself not to take it a step further. Three weeks without any action was getting to me.

  “No. I just wanted to talk.”

  “Oh?” Fuck, it was happening. She was here to tell me she picked Nathan. That was why she was so quiet, so timid. She stopped by without giving me much of a head’s up because she just left Nathan’s.

  Shit, this hurt.

  It hurt more than I expected it to.

  “I told Nathan it wasn’t going to work out…” She looked at me with those pretty eyes, looking like a porcelain doll. Her lips were painted red with lipstick, and her mascara made her eyes stunning. Her words sounded too good to be true, like a mirage that I hadn’t really witnessed.

  “You’re picking me?” I needed crystal clear confirmation. I needed to know this was real, not one of my dreams. This was the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

  “Yeah.”

  All my limbs felt numb, just as they did after an intense exercise session. I was breathing normally, but for some reason, I wasn’t getting enough air. I needed to breathe deeper, longer. My fingers flexed toward my palm, forming fists even though I wasn’t angry.

  Austen stared at me as she waited for a response. Her expression hadn’t changed during the encounter. She was just as timid as before, borderline shy.

  “You’re sure?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  The nightmare was finally over. I didn’t have to think about what she was doing with him on their dates. I didn’t have to ask Madeline how Austen felt about him. Now he was gone.

  “I was trying to chase what Nathan and I used to have. I needed to realize that relationship was gone…that our love died a long time ago. But I’ve accepted that it is over, everything disappeared the day I caught him with Lily. I know he’s sorry about what he did, but I could never trust him again. And why would I want to try when I have you?” She never looked more beautiful than she did now, looking up at me like I was the only thing that mattered. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a happily ever after. You’re my best friend and the best sex I’ve ever had. I can tell you anything and everything. And when we’re apart, I’m never worried about what you’re doing. It’s so easy to trust you, so easy to fall for you. I’m just sorry I made you wait this long. You didn’t deserve that.”

  “You were worth the wait, sweetheart.”

  She tucked her hair behind her ear, a smile forming on her lips. “Rae talked to me this morning…”

  What did she say? “Sorry?”

  “Rae texted me from your phone last night. We got breakfast this morning. I was expecting you but got her and some of her friends instead.”

  The gang talked to Austen? Behind my back?

  “She said you aren’t in love with her anymore. She can tell. I’m all you ever talk about…and you really care about me. She told me I would be stupid to pick Nathan over you. She’s right.”

  Rae did that for me? She flew all the way here just to fix my love life. It was incredible, but when I thought about the kind of person she was, it really wasn’t that surprising. “I don’t know what to say…”

  “You don’t have to say anything. I already had my doubts about Nathan. My parents adore you and despise him. Madeline made her feelings very clear…Jared isn’t a fan of him either. I knew I was forcing it, trying to chase something that didn’t exist anymore. And when Rae told me you didn’t have feelings for her anymore, I knew I should choose you.”

  I wasn’t sure why Rae said that. I never said anything of the sort. But when I considered it, I knew I didn’t think about Rae the way I used to. Thoughts of her didn’t keep me up in the middle of the night. I didn’t wonder what her and Zeke were doing while I was home alone. All my thoughts were comprised of one person—Austen. “That woman is right about everything. So if that’s what she says, it must be true.”

  She moved closer to me, only leaving a few inches between us. “So…”

  “So…”

  “You’ll have me then?” Her hands rested against my stomach, her fingertips slightly digging into me.

  “You already know the answer to that, sweetheart.” My hand moved up her cheek and into her hair. My thumb brushed against her soft skin, and I remembered all the times I kissed her when she was just a friend, a hookup. Now she meant so much more to me. My heart had been broken, but without even realizing it, Austen put it back together.

  Her hand wrapped around my wrist, and she looked up at me with that cute smile on her lips. “I thought I would always be scared to be with someone else…but you’ve made it so easy. I’m not afraid. I know you won’t hurt me.”

  “Because we’re best friends. Friends don’t hurt each other.”

  “But they have great sex.”

  The corner of my mouth rose in a
smile. “Exactly.” I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt either, despite what happened with Rae. I should have fought for Austen sooner, but somehow I got her anyway. It worked out in the end, and I learned my lesson.

  I pulled her into me and finally kissed her in a way I never have before. Now that this was real, we were in this together, everything felt different. Her lips were different, her breathing was different. It was more than a physical embrace, a charged touch. It felt like I’d been kissing her my whole life but I didn’t recall those memories until now. It was so easy with Austen, even easier than it was with Rae.

  I guided her into the bedroom, needing to be inside her sooner rather than later. I didn’t want to jump into bed because I was horny. I just wanted to feel our bodies move together, our mouths cherish one another. I wanted my woman underneath me, taking every inch of me. It was just her and me and no one else, and I wanted to treasure every single moment of her. I needed to make up for the lost time, to erase every embrace Nathan ever gave her.

  I needed to make her mine.

  I walked into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. Austen was still asleep, and after the rendezvous we had last night, she wouldn’t be awake for a while. Rae slipped my mind the second Austen’s mouth was on mine, so I hadn’t thought about the incredible gesture she made for me. Now that I had the opportunity, I watched the coffee seep as I called her.

  She answered after a few rings. “I’m surprised you’re awake.” Judging by her playfulness, Austen told her she was going to talk to me.

  “Me too. But it’s hard for me to sleep in.”

  “And it’s also hard for you to get a job,” she teased.

  “It’s not hard. I just don’t want to.”

  Rae chuckled over the phone. “Is she there?”

  “She’s still asleep.”

  “Uh, she sleeps in like I do.”

  I watched the coffee drip into the pot, making ripples with every splash. Every time the water moved through the filter system, it made a loud gargling sound. The bedroom was on the other side of the apartment so it wouldn’t wake up Austen. “She told me what you did.”

  Rae stayed quiet.

  “Thank you.” I should be mad she went through my phone like that, but since I got Austen in the end, I didn’t care. “You always fix people…and I’m glad you fixed me.”

  “I didn’t fix you, Ryker. I just gave Austen a little nudge…”

  “No. You put up with my bullshit for a long time, and you taught me what love really means. Without you, I never would have been prepared for Austen, to love her. I would have been the immature jerk that only cared about himself. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for changing me into who I am now.”

  Rae didn’t say anything for a long time. “I didn’t change you, Ryker. You did that on your own.”

  “But you’re the reason for it. It didn’t work out between us, but it still worked out in the end. Austen is everything I could ever want in another person. I’m not gonna let her go. I’m not gonna fuck it up.”

  “I know you won’t, Ryker.”

  “And it’s all because of you.”

  “Well, she’s pretty incredible. I really like her.”

  “She’s cute, isn’t she?” I asked with a smile. “She’s got that cute little nose and those pretty eyes. And her body…” I whistled under my breath.

  “Well, I didn’t notice all of that,” she said with a laugh. “But I liked her. I understand why you’re so fond of her. Have you told her you love her yet?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest at the question. I hadn’t even truly admitted to myself how I felt. It’d been floating in the back of my mind for a long time, but I never had the balls to actually accept the truth. “No.”

  “Don’t stall, alright? Because she loves you too.”

  My heart skipped a beat. “She said that?”

  “No. I can just tell.”

  “How do you know everything?” Rae was the wisest person I’d ever met. She had to grow up when she was sixteen, so she became an adult long before her time. She was understanding and compassionate, and she knew how to stand up for herself too.

  She shrugged. “I know I don’t know everything. So I’m always learning.”

  In a strange way, that made sense. “Well, thank you. I don’t know how to say it better than that.”

  “You don’t need to. You would have done the same for me.”

  When she was with Zeke, I tried to steal her away. It wasn’t my finest hour. But when Zeke broke her heart, I tried to get her back together with him because I knew it was the right thing to do. Perhaps I have grown. “When are you guys leaving?”

  “At noon.”

  I eyed the time on the microwave. “You wanna get breakfast?”

  “All of us?”

  “Yeah.” I grinned. “I’ll bring my girlfriend.”

  “Good. We prefer her company over yours anyway.”

  “Are you a really good bowler?” Austen asked. “Since you own a bowling alley.”

  Rae rolled her eyes. “You’d think, right?”

  Rex placed his hand over her face so we couldn’t look at Rae anymore. “Not really. I won the lottery and tried to invest my money into something.”

  “So he bought a business he knows nothing about.” Rae pushed his hand down. “So when the bowling alley nearly went under, Zeke and I had to put money into the place and revamp it. Thankfully, it’s been a success ever since then.”

  “That was really nice of you guys,” Austen said.

  “We’re family,” Zeke said. “So we kinda had to do it.”

  “I never asked for anything,” Rex said defensively. “I was prepared to lose everything rather than take your money.”

  “I know,” Rae said. “But good thing we stepped in and saved the only wealth you had left. I had my own selfish interests tied up in the situation…so I was pretty determined to make it work.”

  “What interests?” Austen asked.

  “He was living with me at the time,” Rae said. “And he was a goddamn nightmare. He was driving me up the wall with all his dirty clothes on the floor, his dishes in the sink, and always having porn on in the living room.”

  Austen laughed. “Wow. In the living room?”

  “I wasn’t doing anything,” Rex explained. “I just had it on. You know, background noise. Like when you leave Friends on in the background while you’re reading a book or something.”

  “Porn and Friends are not the same thing,” Rae said. “Just admit it. You were a total pig.”

  Rex shrugged in guilt.

  “Anyway,” Rae said. “To answer your question, he doesn’t know the first thing about bowling.”

  I rested my arm over the back of the booth with Austen pressed into my side. She got along with everyone as well as I hoped she would. Austen had a great sense of humor, and she was much smarter than I was. She and Rae were a lot alike.

  “So, you’re a brainiac or something?” Rex asked.

  I kicked him under the table.

  “Ouch.” He leaned forward and breathed through the pain. “What? That’s what you said.”

  Austen looked at me, a smile on her face. “A brainiac, huh?”

  “A hot brainiac,” I said. “I told them you graduated from MIT.”

  “Whoa,” Zeke said. “That’s seriously impressive. Very cool.”

  “Thanks.” Austen looked down when too much attention was on her. “I’m in charge of the marketing department at work. I like it.”

  “Maybe I should have gone to college,” Rex said.

  “No.” Kayden rubbed his chest. “You turned out great, Rex. You don’t need to change a thing.”

  He grinned and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I love this woman right here.”

  “She’s pretty great for you,” Rae said. “So don’t blow it.”

  “Never.” He rubbed his nose against Kayden’s before he kissed her.

  Austen smiled at their affection. “It
’ll be weird telling my parents my boyfriend is unemployed…”

  “I’m not unemployed,” I corrected.

  “You don’t have a job, right?” Austen asked. “That’s the definition.”

  “But I’m not broke and lazy,” I argued.

  “You’re definitely lazy,” she said with a laugh.

  “I’m basically a financial advisor for myself,” I said. “Big difference. And I hit the gym every day. You think I’d look this sexy if I just sat around playing video games all day?”

  Austen shrugged.

  “So make sure you give your parents all the facts.” I didn’t want them to get the wrong impression of what kind of guy I was.

  Rae looked at her watch. “Well, we should get going otherwise we’ll miss our flight. It was nice getting breakfast with you guys before we took off.”

  “Always a pleasure,” I said. “We’ll stop by when we come to Seattle to visit my family.”

  “Perfect.” Rae scooted out of the booth along with the others. “Until next time.” She rose on her tiptoes and hugged me.

  I returned the embrace and felt the absence of anything romantic in my chest. I hugged her just as I would hug Kayden. There was nothing there but great fondness. I hugged her back and felt the comfort of our friendship, our bond. “Keep COLLECT going, alright?”

  “Like I have any influence on that place.”

  “Yes, you do. You’re the best employee there.” I let her go then patted her on the back. “Without scientists doing all the work, we wouldn’t be able to do our jobs.”

  “You make me sound more important than I really am, but thank you.” She turned to Austen next then hugged her. “It was so nice to meet you. You can give me a call if he starts to drive you crazy.”

  Austen hugged her back then laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  We said goodbye to everyone else, and to my surprise, Zeke hugged me. “Take care, man. If things don’t work out here, you always have a home in Seattle—and not just at Mega Shake.”

  Everything he said meant the world to me. I used to be close with Zeke and Rex until I hurt Rae. They turned their backs on me quicker than I turned my back on Rae. Having their friendship again felt nice. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until then. “Thanks, man. It means a lot.”