All My Love, Detrick

by Roberta Kagan

  When Detrick saw the drawing he smiled, “A piano?”

  “Yes.” Leah laughed. “I’m teaching Adelheid and Rebekka to play.”

  “My sweetheart, you’re so innovative.”

  “Is that what you'd call it?”

  “Yes, I certainly would.”

  She giggled and he kissed her. The two had not lain together as lovers since the move, out of respect for Jacob. When their lips brushed, the passion within both of them ignited immediately. Leah gave Detrick a knowing smile and he turned away, lest he take her in his arms and make love to her right there.

  “Here,” Detrick reached into the pocket of his coat and brought out a small loaf of bread wrapped in a towel, a tin of fish and an orange. “I thought you might like this.”

  “Oh, Detrick, you’re bringing us your dinner? You should eat.”

  “I have plenty.”

  “We’re fine here.” Jacob smiled. “Eat.”

  “We can all share this… now, would that be all right?”

  “Only if you promise not to do this again,” Jacob began to tear the bread into three pieces.

  Chapter 96

  The attic reached across the entire roof of the house. It separated into two rooms. The large area in the front housed a small table, with four chairs, and a cot where Jacob slept. A few feet away, the lavatory, and attached to it a small closed-off room, for Leah.

  Once the couple heard Jacob’s gentle snoring, they lit a candle and slipped quietly off to Leah’s room. There they sat across from each other on Leah’s bed, holding hands.

  “How are you holding up, Detrick? I mean really, how are you doing?”

  “I’m fine, adjusting. Anyway, it’s me who should be asking you how you’re doing. Oh, Leah, I wish every day that I could take you out of here and that we could live a normal life. That we could marry and make your father a grandfather.”

  “I know, my darling, and we will…this will all end. You’ll see. Years from now we’ll tell the stories to our children.”

  She turned so that he could not see the tears welling up in her eyes.

  “Yes, and they won’t believe it, because the world will have changed so much. Once the Nazis have been defeated and everyone sees them for what they are, the entire world will shun them.” Detrick smoothed her hair gently with his hand.

  “Detrick?”

  “Yes, love?”

  “Do you think the Third Reich will really ever end? That Hitler will be defeated?”

  “Of course, darling,” he cradled her in his arms and rocked her like a baby. “Of course he will.” Detrick repeated it once again, trying to convince himself.

  Chapter 97

  Midnight had come and gone when Detrick quietly descended the stairs out of the attic to leave the Mueller home. As he walked towards the door, a voice from the darkened hallway surprised him.

  “I know you’re not a Nazi, but the uniform becomes you.”

  Adelheid stepped out of the darkness.

  “You startled me. What are you doing still awake?”

  “My cat had kittens. I spent the evening with her. Do you want to see them?”

  Exhausted, Detrick longed to go home and fall into a deep slumber, but he felt obligated to be cordial to this young girl who’d welcomed Leah with her friendship. “Yes, of course. Where are they?”

  “Come in here.” She led him through a short hallway to a small room, where inside of a wooden box lay a gray cat surrounded by six tiny, furry bodies. The cat purred loudly, satisfied with the accomplishment of motherhood as her kittens cuddled against her. Surprised by the feelings of tenderness the feline domestic scene brought on, Detrick found he had to smile.

  “They’re lovely.” He gazed at the small, rat-like little bodies lined up and sucking fiercely at their mother’s breast.

  “Not yet, but they will be. Right now they look like little mice, don’t you think?” Adelheid bent over the box to get a closer look. “But in a few days, they’ll open their eyes to the world, and they’ll be beautiful.”

  “It is amazing, you know? That life goes on regardless of everything we are going through in the world. Like the war and the camps. I mean all of it, you know?.”

  “Yes, it is amazing, isn’t it?”

  He smiled. “Thank you for showing me the kittens. In a strange way it did me good.”

  “Would you like one when they are old enough?”

  “I don’t have time to take care of it; between my job and coming here, my days are full. I’ve even stopped my gymnasium exercises for lack of time.”

  “Do you think Leah would like one?”

  “Yes, actually, I do. That’s a wonderful idea, and very generous of you, Adelhied. I also want to express my gratitude for how kind you have been to Leah and Jacob.”

  “You don’t have to. They are such nice people. But Detrick, have you ever considered that YOU might choose to lead a more normal life?”

  “How do you mean?’

  “Perhaps with a girl who is like you. A German girl of Aryan blood. One you could go to the movies with, or even just take a walk.” She looked away “A girl like me.”

  “Oh Adelheid, please don’t develop feelings for me. I am in love with Leah and would not trade what she and I have for all of the safety in the world. You are a young, intelligent and very attractive girl. You will find a man of your own.”

  His words stung. This was not how she’d planned this encounter. For several minutes neither of them spoke. They stood awkwardly watching the kittens.

  “I’d better be going. It’s late. Thank you for everything, Adelheid.”

  “The offer of the kitten still stands.”

  He smiled. “I will tell Leah.”

  Chapter 98

  Before Detrick had a chance to remove his jacket and sit down at his desk, Konrad summoned him into his office. Whenever Detrick heard his name called, a lightning bolt of fear shot through him. His first thought always seemed to be, They know. They have discovered what I am up to.

  After sucking in a deep breath, Detrick entered Konrad’s office.

  “Heil Hitler.”

  “Heil Hitler.” Had they discovered that he’d allowed the Shapiros to leave yesterday? Had that been a reckless mistake?

  “Sit down. I need to discuss something with you.”

  Detrick felt his legs go limp as he sat.

  “There is to be a picnic for the officers this Sunday. And I have been invited. I have spoken to the correct authorities, and they approved your attendance as my guest. This is an important opportunity, in that there will be people there with the power to promote us to higher ranks in the party. Frankly, I have even heard talk that the Fuehrer himself may make an appearance. So, I’ve taken the liberty to invite two girls to accompany us. They are perfect for this, blonde and Aryan. So, I expect you to make a very good impression.”

  “Konrad. Thank you for the offer, but you know I am not good at these social things. I prefer to beg off, if you don’t mind.”

  “I do mind. I mind a great deal. I insist that you attend.”

  Detrick saw the power flash in Konrad’s eyes, and decided that to argue might cause a rift between them. He did not want Konrad to distrust him in any way. If Detrick brought suspicion upon himself, it would be likely that the party would pay more attention to his life outside of work. “Very well. I will do my best. Sunday it is.”

  “You are going to do just fine, my friend. And wait till you see these girls; they’re real lookers.”

  Detrick nodded.

  “And by the way, you’ll be driving me today. I have a luncheon to attend.”

  “Of course.”

  It had all worked out according to Konrad’s plan. Once Detrick left his office, he lit a cigarette and gazed out the window. Life was good. As a child, he’d followed Detrick in hopes of collecting crumbs; now he’d far excelled his friend in accomplishments. Who would ever have thought that he, Konrad, the withdrawn one, would be Detrick’s superi
or? He turned to look out his office door. The light from the ceiling danced in Detrick’s golden hair as he bent over a stack of papers that Konrad had given him the previous day to be alphabetized.

  There could be no denying that Detrick had retained his magnificent physical appearance. But that hardly mattered anymore. Konrad smiled as he thought of all of the women who strived for his attentions. He remembered the past, and how females had treated him, how they’d made him feel, and he hated them. Whenever possible, he made them suffer.

  Konrad discovered that all his wishes, hopes, and dreams were wrapped up in his advances in the Nazi Party. The picnic would prove very beneficial. If Adolph Hitler were to attend, anything could happen! A thrill tickled Konrad’s spine and a smile of satisfaction crept over his entire face.

  Chapter 99

  Once again, Konrad insisted that Detrick sit at the front of the line and check papers. The morning had brought Detrick a stabbing headache, as he attempted to send as many Jews as he could without being detected, away from the horrible fate that awaited them. Walking the high wire was getting to Detrick; his nerves were on edge. When the old rabbi appeared in front of his desk, wearing his black suit and long gray beard and sideburns, a wave of pity that bordered nausea flooded through Detrick.

  The rabbi handed Detrick his papers and he glanced down at them. The other officer who usually worked beside him had gone to eat. Since he was all alone, Detrick knew he must take the risk of helping this old man to escape.

  “Rabbi Stern?”

  “Yes?”

  “Come with me.”

  He saw the trembling in the bent body as the rabbi followed him dutifully to the back of the building.

  “Rabbi Stern, listen to me. Get away from here as fast as you can. Find a place to hide yourself. I can help you today, but I don’t know if I will be in a position to help you again.”

  The rabbi stared at Detrick in disbelief. The Nazis were known for playing cruel tricks, and the old man wondered if this could be one.

  “Go find someone to help you hide.”

  Without another word the rabbi ran as best he could. His left leg dragged behind, but he still continued to run.

  The vision of the decrepit man’s efforts to escape haunted Detrick and he made a decision.

  “I would like to take my meal break now, if that would be all right,” he asked Konrad.

  “Yes, certainly. Return in an hour so that you can take me to my meeting. You do recall the luncheon I am to attend?”

  “Yes. I’ll be here.”

  Detrick felt he must surely be insane. This act seemed purely irrational. But the vision of the broken, aged rabbi would not let him be.

  It took him less than ten minutes to find the man. When he saw Detrick, Rabbi Stern looked as if he had expected to be played for a fool. The old man assumed the Nazi had let him go, just to give him enough hope to make his recapture even more horrific.

  “Rabbi, you have no reason to trust me. But you also have no choice. I don’t have much time, so I will tell you a little about myself with the hope that you will believe in me. I am in love with a Jewish woman, whom I have hidden in the home of a friend. You must stay out of sight this afternoon. I will meet you in the alleyway between the bakery and the butcher shop tonight, as soon as it is dark. Then I will take you to the safety of this house where you will stay with my Jewish friends.”

  What made Detrick take such a risk? He could not say. God, perhaps. But as the rabbi looked into the depth of his dark blue eyes, he knew without a doubt that he could trust him.

  “God bless you, my son.”

  Chapter 100

  “What happened to that crazy old Jew?” Konrad asked Detrick as he drove him that afternoon.

  Detrick felt the sweat beading at his brow. “I took him to relieve himself, and then sent him on to the transport.”

  “If the vermin had to take a piss, you should have shot him right there instead of leading him off to a lavatory as if he were a civilized human being.”

  “I didn’t think. Next time.”

  “Yes…be sure of it…next time.”

  For the moment Detrick was safe. Secretly, he agonized over the idea that someday he might be forced to kill someone in order to maintain his disguise. Just how far would he go?

  Chapter 101

  The rabbi’s conspicuous appearance didn’t help the situation, Detrick thought, as he led the old man to through the back alleys to the Mueller’s home. By God’s good grace they arrived undetected.

  Before Dertick had a chance to explain anything to Jacob or Leah, Ebner Muelher came flying into the attic like a tornado.

  “What is all this, Haswell? I didn’t agree to this.” He motioned to the rabbi with his thumb.

  “I know. I am sorry. I had to bring him. He is old and I knew they planned to send him to a work camp. Because of his age, he had no chance of survival.”

  “Do any of the Jews who are being sent away have any chance? Do they really? You cannot bring any more here, Detrick. It is too risky. My family is at risk too. You must understand.” Ebner looked over at the rabbi, who stood listening quietly.

  “Ech, all right Detrick, just this one…but no more… You understand? And I will require a few more reichsmarks for his keep.”

  “Understood, sir, and I appreciate everything. Of course, I will pay you extra. Thank you.”

  When Muehler left, Detrick glanced over at Leah to find her smiling.

  “I guess I should explain.” Detrick sat down. “I hope this won’t make things too inconvenient. I realize that you are living in a small space already, but….”

  “Detrick, no need for any explanation. Welcome, Rabbi. My name is Jacob Abdenstern; this is my daughter Leah. And the young man here, his name is Detrick Haswell; he is like my son. As you can see we don’t have much, but we are happy to share all that we have. Please make yourself at home. My daughter Leah will give you her room.”

  “No, I insist that she keep her privacy. A young girl needs her privacy. I can sleep out here on the floor. It is fine for me, and I would not have it any other way. I am deeply indebted to all of you. And I never thought I would look into the face of a man in a Nazi uniform and say such a thing.” The old rabbi’s eyes glazed over with tears.

  Detrick smiled. “The uniform and the job are my cover. I had no other choice. As you can see, I am no Nazi supporter.”

  “Of course even a blind man could see that, my son.”

  Chapter 102

  Banners displaying pictures of Adolph Hitler and Nazi flags with swastikas hung limp in the summer heat. Detrick and Konrad arrived at the picnic early. Konrad insisted on promptness. The girls Konrad had invited stood beside them, eager to please their men. Both females had short, curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. They wore traditional German costumes displaying their ample bosoms.

  German beer the color of brown topaz flowed freely. Waitresses carried platters of sausages on thick buns, sauerkraut, and overflowing bowls of tart vinegar potato salad to each table.

  “Come ladies, let’s get something to eat.” Konrad winked at Detrick.

  The girls were honored to have been chosen as SS officers' dates, and they fawned upon the men in appreciation. Konrad chose the prettier one for himself, and when she nuzzled him, kissing his ear, he laughed loudly in triumph.

  Then, not to be outdone, Detrick’s date put her arm around his neck and began playing with his hair. This felt wrong to Detrick, but he dared not stop her. If he did, Konrad would wonder why. The longer Detrick allowed her to continue, the bolder the woman became. She kissed his cheek, fondled his hair with her long painted nails, and whispered a soft suggestion in his ear, offering him a night filled with promise.

  Detrick’s wondered how he would discourage the girl when the afternoon was over.

  “Here, Detrick, my man, have another beer.” Konrad handed him a glass just as the Fuehrer’s motorcade came driving up to the gate.

  Detrick’s unif
orm felt heavy as the sweat trickled down his back on this breezeless summer afternoon.

  Everyone attending the picnic stood up from their seats. An electric applause filled with exhilaration traveled through the park. Hitler’s bodyguards surrounded the Fuehrer’s vehicle. From every direction, Detrick saw arms raised high in salute. The crowd cried out “Heil Hitler!” in unison. Women fainted; some bent at the waist holding their foreheads, overcome with emotion. Others broke into tears, awestruck with the unrequited love they felt for their Fuehrer. Among his people, Hitler had gained the status of an American movie idol.

  As the group separated to make way, Detrick saw a small, almost shy-looking man walk through the crowd. There were photos throughout Germany depicting the man with the small mustache, long nose and straight brown hair. Now here he stood, Adolph Hitler, in the flesh, behind a podium and smiling. He raised his arms in welcome. Then with his fierce and direct tone, he honored them for their Aryan blood. The Reich would last for a thousand years, he guaranteed them, and they had begun it together. Their children’s children would thank them for putting them back in their rightful place in the world. They were the Aryans, the ruling class, above all others.

  A roar of approval came from the crowd.

  Hitler’s face had turned red with anger as he explained, “Germany has invaded Russia.” The Third Reich must defeat the communists. The Bolsheviks and the Jews throughout the world posed threats to the Fatherland, Hitler told them. His face contorted and his hands flew about wildly as his voice thundered through the park. “These vermin will be destroyed!”

  Detrick watched the crowd. They gave themselves heart and soul to the will of their Fuehrer. The descent of individual human thought to a violent mob mentality left Detrick truly frightened for the future.

  After he spoke, Hitler walked through the crowds shaking hands and kissing women’s cheeks. When he strolled by a small child with blonde hair grasping a doll, he lifted her into his arms and gave her a kiss. Her parents looked on, enthralled, as if she’d been chosen by God.