All My Love, Detrick

by Roberta Kagan

  Suddenly she covered her face and began to cry.

  “It’s alright, Ada. I’m here. I’ll take care of you,” Karl whispered, but again she tried to push him away.

  “Go. I want you to leave here… Do you hear me?”

  “I hear you, but I refuse.”

  “Karl… I have typhoid!”

  His eyes could not focus; all around him the room turned dark. He’d heard her words, but could not accept them. Instead, he moved closer, taking her into his arms again.

  “You’re just tired. Lie down. I’ll get you something to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry. Look at this…” She lifted her nightgown to reveal the spots.

  “Oh my God! Ada, my Ada!” Much stronger, he forced her to allow him to hold her. “It will be all right. I’m here, and I’m not leaving.”

  The strength drained from Ada; she could not fight him. Instead, she lay shivering on the small bed. Karl covered her with all of the blankets and spare clothing he could find. It grew difficult to lift her hands or her head. She could no longer hold a glass to drink. Karl sat by her side, dipping a rag into water and squeezing the liquid into her mouth. At first, she responded by swallowing, but as the night went on, the water just ran from the side of her lips, spilling onto her chest. A blinding headache brought on bouts of nausea, and Karl held her as she heaved violently. At first she tried to make it to the toilet, but fell to the floor, covering herself with contents of her stomach. Once he realized she could not walk to the bathroom, Karl gently cleaned her up and held her hair as she vomited into a pot. Panic set in, driving Karl mad as Ada grew delirious with fever. Fading in and out of consciousness, she called for her mother, whimpering like a child.

  Karl begged God; he pleaded….he bargained, offering his own life for hers. For months, Ada had given most of her food to the children, causing her to be painfully thin and weak, hardly able to fight for such a monstrous illness. As the early hours of the morning drew near, Ada became coherent. Although her eyes shone bright with fever, she spoke rationally, giving Karl hope. She sat up and asked for some soup, which he brought. While he held the spoon, she sipped slowly.

  “You have been such a blessing to me.”

  “I love you, Ada.”

  “I know, and that makes me sad. Karl, I’m dying.”

  “No, you can’t, Ada. Stop talking like that.”

  “Listen to me. Please always remember that I love you. Now, you must be careful after I’m gone. Don’t take any crazy chances, because when this is all over you’ll be reunited with your family. And you’re young, Karl, you’ll love again. I ask only one favor of you. Please, Karl, take care of the children at the orphanage. Look in on them once in a while. Please…promise me?"

  He took her hand in his and kissed it, holding it up to his face. “I promise…of course, but Ada…promise me that you are not going to think of death. You must live, Ada. We must go to Palestine together and build a Jewish state. Together, we will watch our children carve a homeland out of that barren desert, a place that will be safe for Jews forever.”

  “Yes, a Jewish state…a homeland…" She smiled. “I’m tired, Karl… I need to rest.”

  As she closed her eyes, he felt her hand go limp in his as the life quietly left her body. Like Moses, Ada would never enter the Promised Land.

  Karl fell upon her dead body, crying out like an animal that had been shot in the forest. Grief overcame him as he continued to rock back and forth, wailing in mourning.

  Midday had come and passed before Karl realized he must say goodbye.

  Friends of the couple arranged the funeral. Karl attended, hazy and unfocused. He spoke to no one. Immediately following the burial, he left and returned to his room. Once alone, he lay down on the bed he’d shared with Ada, and once again, he cried.

  The months drifted by. Sometimes Karl forgot to eat or to bathe. His hair grew long and greasy, tangling into a black, curly Medusa-like mass. His beard grew thick and unkempt. Often friends came to look in on him, only to find him ornery and unwelcoming. With the money he’d saved, Karl purchased whiskey on the black market and began to burn the pain, as the flame of liquor turned his feelings to ashes.

  Winter turned to spring, followed by the nagging heat of summer. On a bright sunny morning in early August, an old friend came to see Karl.

  “Shlomie… It’s been a long time.”

  “Yes, how are you? I shouldn’t say it but, frankly, you look terrible.”

  “How should I be? I’m still alive, but I wish I wasn’t.”

  “You shouldn’t say that, Karl. Life is a gift from God.”

  “Why did God take Ada? Why? Can you answer that question? I’m sick of all of you and your God, too. Where is God now? Tell me, Shlomie - why has he abandoned us?”

  “I know you are hurting. And I don’t blame you. You’ve lost someone, but you’re not the only one. We’ve all lost people who were dear to us. But life must go on, Karl, it must.”

  “Eh…not for me.”

  “I didn’t come here to help you to feel sorry for yourself. I came to let you know that last night the Nazis raided the orphanage. You know where Ada had that school of hers? Well, they took the guy who ran it and more than two hundred kids away. We know they are on their way to some place in hell that the Nazis built, where they’ll probably be murdered. Now, if that’s not a reason to come back from the living dead and work with the resistance, I don’t know what is.”

  “Shlomie, are you sure about this?” He remembered his promise to Ada.

  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  Karl stood up from the bed and walked to the window. He gazed out at the trees. Those children had been an important part of Ada’s life. She loved them almost as much as she'd loved him. In the end, she’d died because she’d refused to discontinue teaching. And he’d vowed on her deathbed that he would look after them.

  “When is the next meeting?”

  “Tomorrow night. Mordechi’s apartment at nine, sharp.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  Chapter 118

  Berlin

  Rebekka Mueller envied her sister, Adelhied. Three years her junior, and not nearly as pretty, Rebekka lived her life invisible in her sister's shadow. Both girls had been members of the Hitler Youth since they'd turned ten. The Hitler Youth put strong emphasis on the ability to excel in athletics. Blonde hair and blue eyes, the pride of the Aryan race, were considered highly desirable characteristics, all of which Adelhied possessed much to her brown-haired, brown-eyed, clumsy sister’s dismay. It seemed to Rebekka that no matter what, Adelheid outshone her, leaving little room for Rebekka to find any positive attributes she might possess.

  Since the marriage of Leah, the Jewish girl in the attic, to the Aryan boy, Detrick, whom Adelheid had so fancied, Adelhied had changed. It began with her clothing. Dressing provocatively, with tight skirts and sweaters, brought whistles and cat calls as she walked down the street. Then, she began coming home late at night, accompanied by various young men. From her bedroom window, Rebekka heard their laughter outside on the porch. The girls at school began to whisper; the gossip humiliated Rebekka.

  Before Detrick married Leah, Adelhied discussed her feelings for him with Rebekka. Now she would no longer admit to what she’d once felt.

  “You still care for him, don’t you? That’s why you’re running around acting like a tramp. This is doing you no good, Adelheid.”

  “Mind your own business. Detrick was a childhood fancy. He’s no one. He means nothing to me. I have real lovers now.”

  “Do you have any idea what people are saying about you? They’re calling you a tramp, and it’s rubbing off on me. Everyone says since we are sisters, we must be alike”

  “I don’t care what they say. And this has nothing to do with you, Rebekka, so stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.” Adelheid had compensated for what she perceived as Detrick’s rejection with a promiscuous lifestyle, proving her desirability to men over and ov
er to herself, in hope of restoring her lost self-esteem. Sex seemed a small price to pay for the adoration that made her feel beautiful.

  Where once Adelhied had shared a friendship with Leah, she now avoided her, and Detrick as well.

  With the constant teachings of the Nazi doctrine forced upon them, among their peers and in their classroom, both girls began to worry about the attic dwellers. They knew that hiding Jews was against the law, and their parents had firmly explained that they must never reveal their situation to anyone. Both Rebekka and Adelheid realized that the extra money Detrick provided improved the family's way of life. Tins of meat and vegetables replaced the former diet of bread and potatoes. When the girls needed clothing, they found themselves able to afford nice fabric, where once they’d remade hand-me-downs several times over. Sometimes they were even able to shop for store-made clothing, a luxury once far removed from the Mueller's lifestyle.

  Adelhied spent time with boys she’d met at gatherings of the Hitler Youth, but she never allowed them inside of her home, for fear that somehow they might discover her family’s secret.

  Chapter 119

  Emptied of the Jews, the streets of Berlin appeared distorted to Detrick. As he walked along, he saw that the shops that were once Jewish were now owned by Gentiles. Non-Jews occupied the once-Jewish residences. The bicycle shop where he had met Jacob so many years ago was now home to a new proprietor. For a long while, he stood on the sidewalk, staring at the building, memories passing through his mind. It was as if the entire Jewish population had never been there at all.

  Because of his affiliation with the party, Detrick, overheard talk concerning the Final Solution. It haunted him. If Hitler, by some horrible turn of fate, were to win the war, what would become of those he held so dear? He knew he must not lose faith. He must continue to believe that good would triumph in the end.

  Over a year had passed since he’d married Leah. The U.S. had entered the war. Now England, the United States and Russia pushed hard against the Nazis, and it appeared that Germany was losing ground. Every day Detrick prayed that his friends would remain safe until this nightmare ended.

  Even with the world coming down around them, Leah and Detrick’s love kept them from despair. As often as he could, Detrick went to the attic with extra food and supplies. The couple lay huddled together, hoping to be spared, as the allies bombed Berlin. The deafening, thunderous sound shook the little house through the night. Jacob and the rabbi remained awake listening, praying. Rabbi Stern stood reciting sacred words, his body moving back and forth to the rhythm as the bombs shattered the night. Since the attack on Berlin, Jacob had developed a strange twitching on the left side of his face which came and went sporadically. The cat, whom they had named Sammy, became nervous and skittish, often urinating in the corner of the room. Leah loved Sammy, so she cleaned the mess without complaint, and gently offered her feline friend comfort.

  One evening, as Detrick arrived later than usual at the Mueller home, Adelheid and one of her boyfriends were coming down the street. When the boy saw Detrick entering the house, he felt sure that he’d come to see Adelheid.

  “Looks like you have company?”

  Adelheid felt a tiny bead of sweat drip down the back of her neck. Quickly she came up with an idea. “He’s seeing my sister.”

  “Isn’t she young for him?”

  “Perhaps, but he’s seeing her anyway. My parents approve. After all he works for the party.”

  Chapter 120

  Warsaw

  The smoky room, the enthusiastic voices - nothing had changed… It was as Karl remembered it. Planning an uprising took effort.

  “Welcome, Karl, we’ve missed you.”

  “Thanks, Mordechi. It’s been rough since Ada passed.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. We’ve all known loss here. But we are glad to have you with us. We need as many as we can get.”

  “How many of us are there?”

  “Give or take, about 75.”

  Karl nodded as he looked around the crowded room.

  “The Poles feel sorry for us, or they just want the help. Either way, it doesn’t matter; they are supplying us with weapons.”

  “When do you think we’ll be ready?”

  “I’m not sure. Do you think you can get out of the Ghetto at night and buy weapons?”

  “Of course. I’ve been getting in and out since the beginning.”

  “Good. We’re building underground bunkers. Can you help?”

  “I can, and I will. I’m angry. I’m gonna kill as many Nazis as I can. I’m going to do it as revenge for Ada.”

  Mordechi nodded… He understood.

  Chapter 121

  During the night, Karl joined the band of men, women and children who faced constant peril in order to beg, bargain for or steal to build an arsenal. Over the rooftops and through the sewer systems they traveled, ducking out of the light and the vision of the guards. The Jewish Council, better known as the Judenrats, must never discover the plans, as they were known to be collaborating with the Nazis.

  But slowly, small piles of weaponry lay hidden in underground bunkers. Bottle rockets, Molotov cocktails, pistols, rifles, a few pineapple hand grenades, and a handful of automatic firearms made up the armaments.

  More people joined with the resistance daily as they realized that the Nazis meant to exterminate the entire Ghetto. Two groups of Jewish defense were formed: the Zidowski Zwiazek Woskowy (the ZZW - translated, it means Polish Jewish Military Union), led by Dawid Moryc; and the Zydowska Organizacja Bojowa (the ZOB - translated, it means Jewish Fighting Organization), led by Mordechi.

  After much deliberation, the decision for the date of the attack was decided upon.

  Chapter 122

  On January 18, 1943, a frigid wind blew through the silent streets of the Ghetto as the Nazi guards began their round-up of Jews to be sent to the trains taking them to Treblinka and their ultimate death. The noise of their boot heels clicked against the asphalt as their guttural language echoed through the streets.

  Karl, accompanied by a handful of other ragged and angry people, waited hidden in alleyways. As the Germans turned the corner, the Jewish resistance came out firing. Immediately, guns were drawn, and the Nazis fired back. The Jews fell to the ground in obscene numbers, until finally the attack ceased.

  That night, they held a meeting to discuss what had happened.

  “There was far too much loss of life today,” Mordechi spoke. “From now on we will engage them in partisan warfare. Instead of meeting the Nazis out in the open, we will spread out and shoot at them from high windows in various apartments. This way they will never know where the shots are going to come from. It will make it hard for them to fight us.”

  A roar of agreement came from the crowd and the fighters rearranged their plan.

  Never before had the Nazis been confronted by a Jewish army. When gunfire attacked them from all angles, the Nazis trembled with fear, continually looking up and around every corner. Since the resistance had begun to fight back, the Nazis had backed down, entering the Ghetto with caution. Now the ZOB and the ZZW took control of the Ghetto. The execution and imprisonment of the Judenrats began.

  One evening in late February, another meeting took place; here, the next attack was arranged. As the meeting began, a young woman with curly black hair walked up to the front. “I have a suggestion… This year, Passover falls on the night before Hitler’s birthday. Why don’t we give him a present he will never forget?”

  The crowd roared with enthusiasm; a vote on the idea was taken and it was approved by a majority.

  On April 19, the evening of Passover, the holiday celebrating the angel of death passing the homes of the Jews, Hitler’s henchmen would face a violent surprise. When the Nazis attempted to come through the streets with plans of liquidating the Ghetto, they found themselves met by hails of bullets and Molotov cocktails. The assault came from every direction, from windows, from basements and alleyways.

&nbs
p; Sweat pouring down the back of his dirty shirt, Karl continued to fire. The smell of gunpowder permeating his nostrils caused his eyes to tear and his nose to run. From the fourth floor of an apartment building facing the street, he threw a grenade that resulted in a deafening explosion as an enemy vehicle bust into flames. The Nazis ran for cover. Hitler, when informed of the battle, sent for Stroop, a commander familiar with partisan warfare.

  The fighting continued in Muranwski Square. And to Hitler’s horror, a group of children climbed to the top of the roof of the headquarters of the Jewish resistance, and there they raised the Polish flag and the ZZW flag (a blue and white flag that would later become the flag of Israel).

  In a rage Hitler ranted to Stroop that the flags must be removed immediately. It took a large, well-equipped Nazi army four days to fight a handful of Jews before they could pull the flags down.

  “David Moryc is dead,” Mordechi announced as he entered the bunker where Karl had gone to replenish his ammunition.

  “He was bombing a Nazi truck.”

  Karl shook his head.

  “There will be more, I’m afraid, but we must continue… We’ll say kadish, our prayer for the dead, later.”

  Karl walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm. Then, swinging the rifle over his shoulder, he headed to another upstairs apartment to continue his attack on the Nazis.

  Karl fought fearlessly, for he’d lost all reason to live. At night, he stole weapons from dead German soldiers who lay out in the open streets. But even so, by early May the provisions grew scarce. The Nazis stopped all food deliveries. Ammunition was in short supply and the Jews began to worry.

  Over the loudspeaker, Stroop announced a warning that reverberated through the Ghetto. “Jews, surrender now! This is your last chance… Come out with your hands over your heads!”