The King's Raven (Immortal Ireland Book 1)
Page 17
“I was waiting for you.”
Conri let out a primal growl pulling her back up onto his lap, kissing her with a frenzied passion. Nessa wound her hands in his hair, leaning back in a gesture as old as time. Giving herself to the man she loved beyond all reason.
6
It was raining. That might not seem like such a monumentally tragic occurrence to most people but then his life had never been normal. Standing outside his chamber door Conri felt like a coward. All he could do was stare at the damnable slats of wood as if they rendered the chamber impenetrable from both his size and strength. Nessa was in there waiting for him.
Allister relayed the message in the cacophony of the crowded hall amid smells of roasted beef and freshly baked bread. After completing the nightly rounds, making certain every guard stood at their post, he returned to the hall. Soaking wet Conri intended to inform Nessa he was headed upstairs to change and would return shortly, trying not to think about where they would sleep that night.
The very moment he stepped into the hall Allister ran across the rushes covering the dirt floor, smashing the stems with his great bulk, relaying that Nessa waited upstairs in his chamber. Apparently the servants helped her transport a small feast up to the room where she awaited his return. There was only one problem with her plan. He could not sleep in that bed, or any bed for that matter, a deep-rooted fear that refused to release him from its icy talons. Having a stable home, at least for a time, it only made sense to take advantage of such luxuries like a bed and a private chamber. The thought of becoming too comfortable terrified him. Not a mild discomfort but true terror. It could all be ripped away at any moment, torn asunder by the strong ocean currents of a life outside his control.
A life he never considered possible suddenly lay within his grasp, a warm bed, a hot meal, and a loving woman waiting for him, more than he ever dared hope for. Unfortunately his irrational fears were proving to be utterly debilitating. Setting his hand on the iron handle Conri took a deep breath. All he needed to do was set aside his past and stop allowing it to dictate his future. The click of the latch seemed to reverberate through the stone passage loud as a thousand bells. The grey stonewalls breathing as they began to close in on him.
Slowly opening the wooden barrier to his future revealed a scene that caused him to stand motionless in the doorway. A single candle burned on the bedside table, casting an intimate lighting in the room. Nessa lay in bed under the blankets. Bare shoulders clearly revealing she awaited him naked, ready to be loved. The small table off to the side of the room was covered with food and drink. He stood there staring at the scene before him, unable to move back out of the room or forward into it.
“You are soaking wet.” Nessa threw off the blankets swinging her long legs out of bed. Walking across the wooden floor naked and barefoot she pulled him into the chamber then closed the door. Lifting the heavy wooden bar into place the woman he adored above all others secured their privacy. “Let me get those wet clothes off so I can warm you.”
First she removed his sword and sheath, laying it on top of the trunk. Next came the leather belt around his waist. After setting the belt on the trunk next to his sword Nessa lifted the hem of his tunic. Raising his arms, he allowed her to peel the wet garment off his body. Kneeling down in front of him she began stripping off the tight fitting pants tailor made for him by Marta before her hands went bad. They were wet, making their removal no easy task, clinging to his body like a thorn bush to a piece of fine cloth. Her warm hands brushed against his cold skin as she managed to pull the stubborn garment all the way down to his ankles. Reaching up behind his knee she silently encouraged him to lift his leg to remove his boots. Doing as she bade he lifted the left then the right. Removing his shoes first would have made more sense. He could barely lift his leg with pants wrapped cloyingly around his ankles but was not about to complain. Once his boots were placed in front of the trunk at the end of the bed he lifted each leg again, allowing Nessa to finish removing his pants.
He watched her glance around the small room, searching for a place to hang his wet clothing to dry. She finally settled on the wooden benches at the table. She carefully laid his tunic over one bench, his pants over the other. The intimacy of the moment overwhelmed him in the most wonderful way, like a warm peat fire blazing in the hearth on a cold winter day. He wanted this more than he ever realized. The fear be damned, she was worth the risk.
His clothing laid out to dry Nessa gently grasped his hand, leading him over to the bed. She must have noticed his hesitation as he peered down at the offending piece of furniture because she turned his whole body around, forcing him to look at her. “Have you ever slept in that bed?”
“No.” He was reluctant to discuss this, even with her. Giving voice to his fears meant having to deal with them. Something he had heretofore managed to avoid his entire life.
“Have you ever slept in any bed?” Her face scrunched up in disbelief.
“No.” If he were not so uncomfortable with the topic he might have smiled. Giving her one-word answers would not be acceptable.
“What about when you were a child?” She still held his hand, rubbing her thumb across the palm?
“We slept on the ground in a small stone hut.” Returning the caress he gently rubbed his thumb back and forth over the top of her hand, the gesture proved oddly comforting.
“And later, when you were on your own, where did you sleep then?” Nessa knelt on the bed, still holding his hand to keep him close.
He shrugged as if it were unimportant but nothing could be farther from the truth. “Wherever I ended up that night. Sometimes I would help people with chores in exchange for a meal and a place to sleep, usually in a barn or somewhere on their land. Other times the best I could do was find a spot where no one would chase me away.”
Nessa kissed his chest, laying her free hand against his side. “I think you deserve some comfort and happiness more than anyone I have ever met but if you cannot bring yourself to get into this bed I will understand. I would rather sleep outside in the rain with you than in here without you.”
He had never met a woman like her and felt fairly certain he never would again. Meeting Nessa changed his life and there was no going back. A swell of emotion kept him rooted to the spot.
“However, there is still something we have not tried and I would prefer to do it in private. You did promise to teach me.” Nessa kissed her way down his stomach. By the time she reached his manhood it was fully engorged. Nessa kissed the tip of his shaft then scooted back, crooking her finger at him, beckoning him onto the bed.
A certain amount of relief came with confessing his irrational fear of beds to her. Would it feel just as good to confess the rest of his secrets? Right now his brain was having difficulty processing anything other than the invitation she’d just extended. It would actually be easier to accomplish if he remained standing up but he understood why she considered it so important for him to get on the bed.
Sitting down at the head of the bed he leaned back against the wall and watched her crawl over to him. It took every bit of self-control he could muster not to pull her down on top of him. The instant her hand wrapped around his shaft all else ceased to matter. He nearly came when her tongue gently swirled around the tip.
They ate their meal in bed after Conri showed her a new position. She should probably be embarrassed by the things they were doing. Instead she felt blissfully happy, lying on her side, head resting on his shoulder. His arm held her close as they snuggled beneath three layers of blankets.
“There is something I need to tell you.” The grave tone to his voice immediately captured her attention.
Nessa repositioned herself so she lie on her stomach between his legs, her arms crossed on his chest. “Are you about to share more than one personal fact in a day?”
Conri grinned. “Do not get used to it.”
“Duly noted. I will consider it a special occasion.” She squirmed a bit trying to get comfortable.
&
nbsp; Conri set a hand firmly on either side of her hips. “Still yourself woman. This is important.”
He had that serious expression on his face that always made her smile. Laying her chin on her hands she looked into his eyes. “I promise to remain perfectly still so as not to awaken your manhood. Proceed please.”
“I am over a hundred years old and will very likely live many hundreds more.” Conri appeared deadly serious. There was no playful grin or amused sparkle in his eyes now.
Not exactly sure what to say her first instinct was to sit up but that might break the mood. Conri was confiding in her to an unprecedented degree, she did not want to do anything that might change that. “How is that even possible?”
“My mother is part of an ancient race of people that have rather extended life spans.” He watched her closely, assessing her reaction.
“You are immortal?” Rather unbelievable but he did not appear to be joking.
“For lack of a better term.” This was not the reaction he expected. She seemed rather calm and unconcerned about the whole affair.
“Is this why you stay away from women?”
Conri nodded. “The last time I tried to have a relationship with a mortal did not go well to say the least. After I told her about my immortality she promptly began telling other people. Her father, a local king, had three sons. They immediately decided I would be a threat to their claim on the kingship if I married their sister. Her brothers tried to kill me. It was the one time they managed to work together.” Thinking back on that time of his life still made him a bit nervous. Revealing the truth to Nessa put him at risk.
“So while I grow old you will still look as you do now. Is that what you are trying to tell me?”
“Yes. Is that something you could learn to live with?” He had never been this nervous in his life. What if she said no? How would he ever go back to living without her?
“Are you asking me to stay with you?” The amused glint in her eye disappeared, replaced by a look of near terror.
“I am asking you to be my wife.” He waited what seemed forever for her to say something.
Instead of answering Nessa jumped out of bed, attempting to pace around the room. Unfortunately the chamber was far too small to accommodate anything resembling such an action. She would walk three steps then be forced to turn around. Nessa eventually became frustrated with the lack of space and stopped. Standing at the end of the bed in front of the storage trunk she looked at him with what could only be described as fear.
“Ness, if your answer is no I will understand. It is a lot to ask of anyone and just because we have been having sex does not mean that you…”
“I love you. That is not the problem. Your immortality does not change how I feel about you, nor will I ever reveal your secret. There is something you do not know about me and I am afraid to tell you.” There seemed to be only one reasonable choice in this particular situation. Tell him the truth about her powers. Being an immortal perhaps he would know something about why she had these amazing abilities. “Can I ask you something first?”
“Of course.” She loved him. Nothing else really mattered. He wanted to grab her and celebrate but her mood had changed drastically.
“Do any of your mother’s people have special abilities?” His answer could change her life. What if he said yes? She might finally be able to get some answers about her true identity.
“My mother is a shifter. They can change form. Kind of like an alternate identity. She can turn into a seagull.” Her question surprised him to say the least. How could Nessa have known his mother’s people had special powers? Maybe she was just going by the old myths of the Tuatha or the Fae.
“But they can only turn into one creature?” That did not explain why she could turn into any creature she wanted. Her preference was a raven but she learned as a child that she could turn into anything. She’d been surprised when Laurence informed her other people did not possess that particular ability.
“Yes. My mother told me a story once about people that could turn into any creature they wanted but I am not certain they were even real.” He was beginning to have an odd sense of foreboding. There were the rumors of her special powers, eyes glowing in battle and superhuman strength, a magical ability to heal dying men. He assumed they were just stories, made up by men that could not explain what really happened. What if they were not rumors but truth?
Nessa sat down on the edge of the bed facing him. “Tell me about them.”
“Ness, do you have…”
She laid a hand on his arm to stop his question, not quite ready to tell him yet. The need to hear if there were others like her too great. She had been waiting her entire life for this. “Please, just tell me everything you remember about your mother’s story first.”
The urgency in her eyes compelled him to hold off on his own questions and answer hers. This was no passing curiosity. “My mother called them the ancients. They were the first of our kind, born from the yew trees. The tree was supposedly their mother, the earth their father. So connected to the earth itself they could turn into any creature and control the forces around them. Their powers were said to be limitless.”
“Are there any ancients left?” Was she the only one? And how could a tree be her mother? In one sense it sounded preposterous and yet she had no better explanation for her magical powers or odd ability to communicate with trees.
“Not that I know of but I was very young when they cast me out. I am not exactly overflowing with knowledge.” Part of him wanted to ask her again. Force her to reveal whatever she was reluctant to tell him. Another part of him felt fear, afraid to know the truth. What would he do if she were one of the ancients? He was an outcast.
“Can you change form?” She had not even thought to ask.
“No. That is the reason I am an outcast. Those that cannot change form are not allowed to live at Knocknashee with the shifters. They believe we become violent.” And there lie the crux of the problem. If she were one of the ancients they could not be together. He almost dreaded hearing what he knew she was about to say.
“That is why they thought you were defective?” She could not even imagine a mother casting her own child out into the world alone for such a reason.
Conri nodded. He had to know the truth, no matter how much it pained him to ask. “Ness, the rumors about your powers…”
“Are all true. I can do things that I could never explain before. Thanks to you at least I have some idea why.” She trusted Conri above all others, trusted him to hold her life in his hands by revealing the truth.
“You are more than just a shifter.” He did not sound or appear pleased by the sudden turn of events.
“Yes. I can turn into any creature I want. I can gather energy from all around me and use it to gain strength or move things.” It was actually a relief to confide in someone.
“Show me.” He needed to know without a doubt that it was true.
Nessa looked around the room. Her shirt and pants were on the trunk at the end of the bed. She’d become quite proficient at moving things with her powers, practicing in her chamber. Quickly gathering power she extended an arm, pointing her hand at the tunic. Silver tendrils of power flew from her fingertips, weaving a spiral cocoon around the tunic as she swirled her finger in the air. With a flick of her wrist the garment sailed through the air, landing in her lap.
She dared a look at Conri, more than a little worried about how he would react. He seemed far away somewhere, looking off into the distance even though they were in a small room. Apparently he was not taking it well at all. The important question now being why. A remote possibility existed that her powers repulsed him but she discarded that theory immediately. Raised by people that could change form her abilities should not bother him to such a degree. Her being one of the ancients meant they were both immortal. That should be good news but perhaps he would rather not spend the next thousand or so years with her. Maybe he considered that far too long.
Nessa laid a hand on the side of his face. When he did not cringe or pull away she completely ruled out the possibility that he was repulsed by her revelation. “This means I am like you, does it not? I will not grow old and leave you alone, unless forever is too long for you?”
He still refused to look at her. “I wish that were possible but you are one of the most powerful beings to ever walk the earth and I am an outcast.”
Nessa knelt on the bed, throwing one of her legs over both of his. Straddling his hips she sat down just below his manhood, their most private parts almost touching. When his shaft did not immediately rise she knew he was truly troubled. “Look at me.”
“Ness this is not a good idea.” Conri tried to lift her off and set her aside.
Nessa wrapped her legs around his waist, locking them together as tight as she could. “I never want to hear you call yourself an outcast again. You are brave and generous, the most wonderful man I have ever met. The one thing you are not is defective. It is those people that are defective.” He finally looked at her. The pain in his eyes tore at her heart, making her all the more determined to convince him they still belonged together. “Do you love me?”
“It is not that simple.” Conri tried to pry her off him again, sighing with exaggerated aggravation when he could not dislodge her.
“It is exactly that simple. Are you repulsed by my powers? Do you not want me anymore?” If he said yes she would walk away without a fight. She would never chase him like Alana.
That apparently got his attention. Conri’s eyes met hers with a surprising intensity. “Never think that. You are a god and I am just…”