“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means we’re going to get married, which is looking increasingly unlikely, or you can go stay with Fanny and Ben until we can book you a ticket back to New York.”
The words felt like a slap. But they didn’t prepare her for what came next.
Adam swept her up in his arms and kissed her on the mouth. She froze, not knowing what to do, how to act, or how to respond. She remembered her dream, but she couldn’t respond the way she did in her sleep.
He finished with her, shook his head sadly, and left the barn.
She’d almost liked it. If it hadn’t been so sudden. If he hadn’t seemed so angry at her. Now she found herself out here alone with three horses, all of whom seemed to be watching her and judging. Within the hour, Adam was gone on his cattle drive, and Sibyl had the house to herself for the next three weeks.
*****
Over the next few days, the nighttime sounds stopped bothering Sibyl. The wolf and coyote howls started to sound like music, and they soothed her to sleep. She didn’t miss the bustle and churn of New York City anymore.
The only sound that continued to upset her were the catamounts. They didn’t come often, but when they did, Sibyl thought she listened to a woman screaming, a woman being brutally murdered out there in the wilderness. When she heard it, she would pull the covers up over her head and mash her hands into her ears. In those moments she would have given anything for the sounds of her father snoring and wagons clattering out in the streets at all hours. Drunken dock hands shouting to one another. Anything to blot out those terrible sounds.
Fanny and Ben came to visit on occasion, but they were cool toward her. Even Fanny…Sibyl felt Fanny was a terrible traitor, siding with Ben and his brother over her own flesh and blood. It didn’t matter. Sibyl kept the house up and made sure it was spotless always. She’d bought some patterns at the general store, and worked at making her own dresses. She began a quilt for Fanny’s baby.
When she kept busy, she could pretend she wasn’t achingly lonely. Her mind zeroed in on Adam suggesting they share a bedroom. His kiss in the barn. It wasn’t proper. It wasn’t how her father had raised her. Was this how Ben wooed Fanny? Sibyl certainly hoped not.
Everything changed one evening when Ben rode into the yard at a dead gallop, skidding to a stop outside the porch. Sibyl heard the commotion and went to the window in time to see him hurl himself off the horse.
Something wrong with Fanny. With the baby. Sibyl’s heart plummeted. She didn’t want to let him in, she didn’t want to make it true. She didn’t need to, as Ben saw himself in.
“Sibyl!” he shouted.
She raced to the hall where he stood. Yes, looking at his face, she was sure something awful had happened.
“It’s Adam.”
Adam. Never in a million years had she expected that. Relief flooded her—Fanny was all right.
“What’s happened?”
“His leg is broken, and it’s serious. He’s on his way back here. He’s in rough shape. I don’t know if he’s going to be all right. The bone broke the skin, and there’s some sepsis. He may lose the leg.”
Sibyl said nothing.
Anger like she’d never seen bubbled up out of Ben. “Dammit, woman. You’re either going to be here to help him, or I’m putting you on the next train east. It destroys me that you’re living in my brother’s house, eating his food, and you can’t even give him the time of day. You’re going to take care of him, or I’ll see you out myself, no matter how much I love your sister. You sound like you take after your father.”
With that, Ben left, riding off into the dusk as fast as he’d come.
You take after your father. The words pained her. Her father was a surly man with a violent temper. He rarely took it out on his girls, but she’d known the wrath of his tongue and his strap more than she cared to admit. She didn’t want to be like him. Didn’t want people to think of her like that. And what hurt the most was it had to have come from Fanny.
Sibyl doused the lights and made her way up the wooden stairs to her bedroom and the big bed there.
Adam, an invalid. He wouldn’t be able to climb the stairs. She’d forgotten to ask anything, how soon he would arrive, what she might need to take care of him. Ben would know. And Ben could help her get the bed down into the parlor.
She’d nursed her sisters through a variety of ailments. Hot water. Clean rags. If the leg was broken, it would have already been set by now, and that was more Ben’s department than hers.
When she’d first arrived in Marsh Creek, Adam had offered to teach her how to ride. Sibyl had balked at this. Now it meant she was stuck here at the house until someone came for her, unless she walked the miles into town. Adam hired a boy to come and tend to the horses—surely the boy could help her. Could she figure out how to saddle a horse, and get to Fanny and Ben’s? She cursed herself for not paying better attention, for putting herself in this situation. Adam was a cowboy and spent long periods of time away, and it was foolish to sequester herself here, all alone.
In the morning, she went out into the barn. Three of the horses remained, and they blinked at her with wide brown eyes. To her surprise, the boy Adam hired wasn’t in the barn; instead, a little girl of about ten was just finishing shoveling out the last stall.
Sibyl started at the sight of her.
“What are you doing here? Where’s Billy?”
“Billy had to help my Pa, so they sent me to tend to the horses. I’m Abigail.”
“Pleased to meet you, Abigail. I have a sister named Abigail.”
“I thought you had a sister named Fanny.”
Sibyl explained it was her other sister, living back east. Surely this little creature wouldn’t be able to teach her to ride. Though she watched the girl shoveling manure and wondered. She’d ridden over on a black and white pony, which stood off to one side, hitched to a post, watching them.
“I have to ride to my brother’s house.”
“They’re your horses, have at them.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Don’t know how? They are your horses, aren’t they?”
“They’re my…they’re Adam’s horses.”
“Ain’t you gonna marry him?”
No, she wanted to say. “I don’t know yet.”
“He’s comin’ back tomorrow hurt real bad. If you’re not gonna marry him, who will look after him?”
“I’m going to look after him, and make sure his leg gets well again. Can you teach me to ride?”
“I can try. You’re awful old for learning new things.”
Sibyl imagined how her father would have reacted to being spoken to like this by a girl, then Ben’s words about her taking after him rang in her ears. The child was right, of course. Who would look after Adam? And she should have learned to ride when she had the chance, when she had time.
“I’m old, but not that old,” Sibyl said, forcing a smile.
“You don’t know anything about riding a horse?” Abigail asked.
“Not the first thing. But I bet you can teach me.”
“You’ll have pay us extra. Can you cook pies?”
“I’m very good at cooking pies.”
“Okay, it’s a deal.”
They spent the morning learning the basics on Sally, a placid mare who, Abigail explained, used to be a plow horse. “She got too old for that and Erich in town didn’t want to get rid of her. Adam agreed to take her even though she doesn’t do much.”
“She’s perfect.”
If Sally could tell how scared Sibyl was, she didn’t let on. Sibyl remembered Fanny’s letters saying how she was scared of horses at first, and how she’d told Ben she could ride when really she’d only once sat sidesaddle and been led around Central Park. Well, when Adam came home, he’d see Sibyl could ride.
Then she remembered the kiss here in the barn and her cheeks felt too warm.
Sibyl had ridden in the wagon to Ben and Fanny
’s, and she knew the way. Abigail bid her on her way, and she headed Sally north to Fremont Lake. Sally moved at a comfortable, plodding pace, perfect for Sibyl.
Fanny squealed and embraced her when she arrived. “You came!”
“I have to get the house ready for Adam.”
“He’s really a good man. Please give him a chance.”
Sibyl smiled and nodded, not voicing the opinion that she didn’t have a choice.
Ben thanked her for coming, and he and another man came back to Sibyl’s house and moved the bed into the parlor. “I can’t tell you exactly how to prep for him because I haven’t seen him yet, but I’ll meet him at the train and bring him here, and by then I’ll have a good idea for what we need to do.”
Sibyl could only nod and agree.
The next day was an agony of waiting. She made Abigail her pie, and realized she found Sally to be a great comfort. She brought carrots out to the mare, and stroked her gentle gray nose. She could tell Sally anything, and the horse just listened and watched her with wide eyes.
As darkness fell, Sibyl found she was too uptight to do anything productive, so she waited in the barn with the horse, the big doors open, watching the road. The train came through in the morning and at night, if he’d come on the night train they wouldn’t be here until the next day.
All the lights in the house blazed. She poured out everything to the horse, talking through how scared she was of her father, how Adam frightened her by proposing they share a bed in a room before marriage. How sometimes she dreamed of him, but she knew the reality couldn’t be as wonderful as those dreams. His rough kiss. “I didn’t come here a sure thing. I wasn’t bought for the cost of my ticket. I need him to see that. But now…who knows what he’ll see.”
Sally whickered like she understood.
Outside, a sound. Hoof beats. The crunch of wagon wheels on the dirt road. Sibyl’s stomach knotted. What would she say to him? Would he be angry with her, like he had been when he’d left? She kissed Sally on the nose, and closed and fastened the barn doors.
Smoothing her skirts, she went to meet the wagon.
Erich drove, and Ben rode in the back with Adam and of course the tan dog. Sibyl hovered on the porch as the team slowed and Ben jumped down. He helped to hoist his brother to the ground, supporting his right side. Adam carried a crutch, and steadied himself.
“I’m good, I’ve got it,” he told Ben.
Ben backed off, but not too far, ready to reach out and catch his brother if need be.
Adam met Sibyl’s gaze, and she glanced down at the porch floor.
Ben reached out to help him on the steps, but Adam shooed him off again. He clomped up the three stairs slowly, and Sibyl could see the strain on his face, beads of perspiration on his forehead. He wasn’t a well man. She met him at the top of the porch and took his crutch, offering herself to lean on. This he did accept, and while his weight was more than she’d anticipated, she felt good being here for him, finally. She helped him inside to sit on the edge of the bed. The dog curled herself in a tight ball on the floor by the foot of the bed.
Ben and Erich talked out by the wagon.
“Sorry, Sibyl. I’m not sleeping in the barn tonight.” He cracked a smile, but it looked like it hurt him to do so.
“Hush. You’ll sleep here in bed. I’ll make sure you’re comfortable and warm.”
“I don’t think that will be the problem.”
Ben came in then. “Complete bed rest. He can get up to use the chamber pot, but nothing else. At least three weeks of it.”
“Aw, come on. I’ve got work to do—”
When Ben spoke, he sounded more serious than Sibyl had ever heard. “If you don’t follow my care to the letter, you’ll never work again. You’ll lose the leg. So do as I say, and we’ll see how things are in three weeks. Understood?”
“Ben—”
“This is my profession, and I know how to treat a broken bone. Stay off it for three weeks and we’ll talk. You’ll probably have to stay in bed longer than that. Sibyl will take care of you. I’ve ordered you some books at the general store, son they should be here in a couple of days. I’ll be back tomorrow to see how you’re doing.”
“Thanks,” Adam said.
“I’m glad you’re home.” Ben leaned over to his brother a hug, then Adam and Sibyl were left alone.
“I learned how to ride,” she said.
“On Sally?”
She nodded. “I’m not very good at it now, but maybe with practice.”
“Who taught you?”
“Abigail, the neighbor’s girl.”
“Ha, that kid can ride anything with four legs. You couldn’t have asked for a better teacher.”
“You look tired. Should I leave you?”
“No!” He spoke sharply, and sounded afraid. “No, thank you. I want someone near. A familiar face. It’s been a long week since my injury. The guys on my ride left me at Dodge City, and I had to make my way back with no one but Chance to talk to. I want the company. If you don’t mind, that is.”
His words caught her off guard, and she sat back down on the edge of the bed.
“I’ve, uh, I’ve never been that scared in my life,” Adam said.
“It must have been awful.” She honestly didn’t know anything about what he might have gone through. Maybe if she’d gotten to know him a little better, and heard a little more about the cattle drives, she’d understand.
“I was out on the tail end of the herd, catching up some stragglers. Cisco stepped in a gopher hole and I heard her leg snap as she fell. For a horse, there’s no coming back from that. No way to repair it, no way to heal her. Not out there anyway. I had to shoot her.”
Sibyl gaped at him. “Shoot the horse?” She had been here long enough to notice Cisco, the roan mare, was Adam’s favorite. When he spoke of her now, his mouth made a flat line and the blood left his lips.
“By that time, there was no one around. I mean no one. No cattle, no people. Just scrub brush and nothing for miles and miles. Even Chance was gone—she’d been going after one of the cows, and didn’t realize I wasn’t behind her. I managed to get my leg out from under the horse, and I think that’s what messed it up the most.”
Sibyl couldn’t imagine the scene he described. He locked eyes with a spot in the flat white wall. She wondered what he saw there, or what he imagined.
“I had my gun, and I had a good number of rounds. So I fired at the sky a few times, hoping Chance or some of the other guys from my ride would hear me and come looking. All I could do then was wait. It started to get dark. I started to think I’d never make it home again.”
“What did you do?”
“I tried to crawl to some of the tumbleweeds, something so I could start a fire, but I blacked out from the pain. When I woke up it was the middle of the night and I was shivering, but the stars overhead were more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen in my life. And Chance was with me. She’d found me in the night. No moon, just thousands of glittering stars. I knew then it would be all right. I didn’t know what it would be, but I knew I would make it.”
Sibyl reached out and took his hand. He didn’t take his gaze off the far wall, but squeezed her fingers.
“It was the middle of the next morning when Jack and Parrow found me. I shot my gun off a few more times, and they were looking for me, and they must have heard it. They had to build a litter to drag me—I couldn’t get up and onto one of the horses. Being pulled along the ground might have been worse than lying alone in the desert. Every bump, every rock, made my leg hurt like crazy.” Adam sat silent a moment, still contemplating the place in the wall.
“I didn’t think you’d be here when I got back. I didn’t want to go up to Ben and Fanny’s, didn’t want to be an extra burden on them with the baby coming. I knew they wouldn’t have minded, would never have said anything against me, but it would have been hard.”
She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. The silence stretche
d on, uncomfortable, and Sibyl battled with her brain as to how she could improve things. She was about to tell him she was going to go start his dinner when he said, “I’m glad you’re here, is all.”
“I’m glad to be here. I’m sorry I haven’t been easy. I’m sorry I haven’t been what you’re looking for.” She couldn’t bear to look at his handsome face; shame pulled her gaze to the floor. “I’m going to get you some food. You must be starving.”
“No, stay with me. I’m not hungry.”
Ben warned her about this, though. “Your brother said I was to feed you no matter what you told me. I’m not going far, and I’ll hear you if you ask for me.”
Sibyl excused herself to the kitchen and began to cook, letting her mind get lost in the task. She’d never seen Adam like this, vulnerable. He’d always been so brash and cocky. Maybe there was a real person in there after all.
She brought the plate of food in to him, but found him asleep. She didn’t want to wake him, but it was one of the main things Ben stressed—he couldn’t get stronger if he didn’t eat.
Sibyl thought about waking him with a kiss, but the very idea of it made her blush. Instead she set his food on the side table, and gently took his shoulder. She squeezed and said his name, and his blue eyes fluttered open.
“Smells delicious,” he said. She helped prop him up and set the plate on his lap. “Tell me about what you did while I was gone.”
She didn’t talk about sitting alone each night, but she did tell him about coming to almost enjoy the coyote songs. They’d scared her so much when she first got here, but now they weren’t so bad. Like music.
One afternoon she’d gone for a walk and seen a few deer grazing by the bed of a stream. “It certainly is more beautiful here than the city. I miss my sisters and my friends, but the air smells so fresh. I didn’t like it at first. It was confusing and almost sharp in my nose. But I think it agrees with me.”
Finally, she told him about making friends with Sally the horse. Adam laughed out loud.
“I almost didn’t take her. I almost decided her time had come, and she shouldn’t be taking up space and horse feed. But then I looked at her, and talked to her a bit, and I just fell in love. She’s a great horse for a beginner, and I’m glad you’re getting to know her. I’m double glad you didn’t try to ride Jack—he can smell when someone’s nervous and it freaks him out. Skittish and jumpy, that one.”
Mail Order Bride: Scandalous Territories (Clean and Wholesome Historical Romance) (Women’s Fiction New Adult Wedding Frontier) Page 5
