“Not quite…” a voice echoed from the door. “If it isn’t almost trouble,” Nurse Foreman smiled from the doorway.
“Oh,” Zoe’s face fell and my heart sunk.
“Where’s the other troublemaker?” Nurse Foreman asked with a sly smile. Damn small towns.
“Troublemaker reporting for duty,” Kane grinned widely as he breezed into the room, arrogance radiating from his every pore.
“Kane!” Zoe’s face lit up and the whole room felt it. They had to have. All of a sudden everything felt lighter, easier, simpler. Zoe was smiling. Nothing else mattered.
“My God, Zoe! How do you put up with so much ego and testosterone in one room?”
“In small doses.”
Everyone laughed and it sounded perfect. In that moment I knew I’d do whatever it took to keep Zoe smiling. It sounded awesome.
“So, what happens next? Can I get out of here any time soon?” Zoe asked timidly.
“Boys?” Nurse Foreman asked, raising her eyebrows. I didn’t care what she wanted…I had no intention of leaving.
I watched as Zoe’s gaze flittered over Derek and Kane before settling on me. It didn’t take her long to concede. “It’s okay, they can stay.”
I felt guilty. I didn’t want Zoe making herself uncomfortable just to placate us. We could handle it. Right now, I wasn’t sure she could.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Well, you can go home. You probably just want a long hot shower and get some sleep, and that’s exactly what you should do. Your body needs time to heal. Take the time. Pushing yourself won’t help, not in the long run. Other than that, here’s a prescription for some pain killers for your ribs. Unfortunately, broken ribs are painful, but there isn’t much we can do to fix them. You’ll need to get your stitches removed in ten days. As for some tests…” her voice trailed away. I knew there was something she wanted to say but she was worried to say it in front of us.
I heard Zoe suck in her breath and hold it. She was afraid too. Without thinking I shifted and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, offering her my strength. “It’s okay…” she lied. I knew it was a lie. Her shoulders shivered under my touch.
“You need to follow up with your GP about the HIV tests.”
“HIV tests?”
“Zoe, I know it’s a lot to take in right now, and we tested you already, but with HIV you need to have regular follow up tests. I’m sure you’ll be okay, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“Yeah,” Zoe whispered.
I watched as Kane shifted stealthily around Nurse Foreman and took position at Zoe’s other side. It felt right. My Zoe was safe between my brother and me. No one would ever get near her now.
Turning her attention on us, Nurse Foreman smiled. “Right, boys. Out! Zoe needs to get dressed so we can let her out of here. I’m sure she would appreciate a moment…”
“No troubles,” Kane agreed, dropping a kiss on Zoe’s head before strutting out the door.
“Zoe, if you need anything, or if this boof head gives you any trouble, just call me,” Derek assured her with a squeeze of her foot.
“Thanks, Derek.” Zoe forced a smile.
I watched as my brother and best friend shuffled out of the room, but I had yet to move a muscle. I was thankful for their support and their discretion, but then Nurse Foreman’s attention turned on me. “Spencer…can you give us a minute?”
Chapter 9
ZOE
This was a nightmare. But it was worse than that. It was a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. There were pregnancy tests and HIV tests and broken bones. Not to mention the stitches and scratches. And Spencer. And Kane. And Derek. It was all too much.
“Zoe?” Spencer’s voice shook me from my thoughts.
“I’m fine. I just want a shower!” I admitted with a nonchalant shrug.
“Well, let’s get you out of here then,” He smiled and I couldn’t help it. My breath hitched.
“Spencer McLaren,” Nurse Foreman chided, “if you want me to let Zoe break out of here, you need to give us a minute to get her up and dressed and then you can take her home.”
“Um…sorry, but…”
“What is it, Zoe?”
“Um, clothes…I don’t have―”
“All taken care of,” Spencer announced with a wicked smile.
“I don’t―” Nothing was making sense. Spencer hadn’t left my side since I’d woken. How could he have taken care of everything?
“Kane went and got your bag for you. He also fixed your car and it’s now sitting in my driveway,” Spencer explained thoughtfully.
I’d known him a long time. He was the person I trusted above all others with my life. He was my rock. My life line. Now he was my knight in shining armour. But as long as I’d known him, I’d never seen his caring, kind, and considerate side. Experiencing it firsthand knocked me sideways.
“Th-thank you,” I stuttered.
“Spencer―out! Zoe needs to get dressed,” Nurse Foreman shooed him. I couldn’t stifle the laugh. The pout on his face was priceless…like a small child who didn’t get his way.
I watched as he shuffled out. I was scared, but now wasn’t the time to fall apart. I needed to be alone before I let fear and reality beat me.
“Zoe, sweetheart. I know this is scary and hard, but it’s time to get up and get dressed. Bathroom’s just through there if you need it.”
“Thanks.”
As I swung my legs over the side of the bed, I realised how badly battered I was. Maybe I’d been pretending that it wasn’t as bad as it really was. Maybe it was a self-protection mechanism. Maybe it was denial. Maybe it was just naivety. But seeing my bare legs and how banged up they were made everything real. I’d never been more thankful to Nurse Foreman. I didn’t want anyone seeing me like this. It was bad enough I had to see me like this. I didn’t want someone else to. Especially not Spencer.
“Here’s your bag.” Nurse Foreman smiled, setting my overnight bag on the end of the bed. “I’ll let you have a minute. Just buzz if you need me.”
I waited until she was gone before I started sorting through my bag. It took barely a breath before I was overwhelmed. When I’d packed for my weekend I hadn’t planned on anything going wrong. Instead I’d packed to impress. Now I was fucked. Actually it was worse than that. I know I’d promised myself I wouldn’t fall apart until I made it to the privacy of my hotel room, but I couldn’t hold it back.
“Fuck it!” I swore crudely as the contents of my bag ended upside down on the floor. “I hate this!”
And then came the tears. The fat, ugly tears. The snotty sobbing. I couldn’t hold it back. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t have been able to stop the torrent. The more I cried and gasped for breath, the more my ribs ached. Sliding from my bed, I ended up on the floor. I didn’t even care about the cold. It seeped into my skin and froze my bones, but I didn’t care. Instead I sat there, sifting through the pile of skinny jeans, fitted jumpers, and lacy lingerie. I don’t remember what had possessed me to pack them, but there they were, staring back at me. Taunting me. I cried harder and harder.
When the door burst open, I didn’t even have the strength to be embarrassed. I knew my hideous hospital gown was gaping open. That my legs were on display for the world to see in all their bruised and battered glory. But I couldn’t care less. Right now I couldn’t summon the strength to care.
“Zoe!” Spencer’s voice was panicked. “What happened? Did you fall?”
Before I had time to respond he’d swept in, scooped me up in his arms and had me in a bundle in his lap, clothes scattered around us. “I didn’t fall. I…I just…” I couldn’t get the words out. They were stuck in my throat, choking me.
“It’s okay, Pippi. You’re okay.” At the mention of the childhood nickname he’d given me, my heart soared. I hadn’t heard it in so long, there was something wonderful about him using it. It was our own private language. In that moment, it meant t
he world.
“Pippi, hey?” I queried.
“Yep. Pippi. My Pippi.”
“You know you’re the only one who’s ever called me that?” I sniffled, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.
“Doesn’t surprise me. No one else knew about it,” he declared honestly. “So, now you’re smiling…well sort of. Want to tell me what the problem is?”
I looked at Spencer and saw a softness in his face I didn’t recognise. How did I explain to him that I was sitting on the floor, surrounded by the contents of my bag crying because I had nothing to wear? How did I make him understand something like that without sounding like a complete drama queen?
Sensing my hesitation, he prodded, “Well? Come on? Spit it out, Zoe.”
“I-I―Fine. I’ve got nothing to wear,” I sighed dramatically, completely aware of the irony of the situation.
With a smug grin, Spencer chuckled deeply. “I told you I’ve got you sorted.” With a wink he clambered to his feet, taking me with him. When he sat me on my feet the whole room spun. I was surprised to feel light-headed and dizzy. It was a disgusting feeling that brought with it a fresh wave of nausea.
“Steady there,” he hushed under his breath as he helped me onto the bed. Once I was sitting, I watched as he stuffed all my clothes back in the bag, moving like a machine as his large hands grasped my delicates. A deep red embarrassment crept up his face. “Right now, I thought these might help.” He smiled, handing me a pair of overly large sweat pants and sweater.
A funny look must have crossed my face. “Don’t worry, they’re clean.”
“How did you…?”
“Pippi, did you forget who you’re talking to?”
“Yeah, I guess I did.”
“I’ll just wait outside so you can get dressed,” he offered, rising to his feet and heading to the door.
“Spencer, no!” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Catching my breath and gulping down the hesitation and bile, I faced Spencer, terrified. “Please…stay.”
Chapter 10
SPENCER
What the fuck?
As soon as the thought went through my head I scolded myself. If Zoe wanted me with her, then there was nowhere else I was going to be. Reality was, I didn’t want to see this. It was bad enough I could see the scrapes and bruises that were visible when she had her clothes on. My imagination had already piss bolted like a cat with his tail on fire and taken me on some sick, painful, masochistic journey. One that I knew if I ever got proof of, I’d never be the same again.
No matter how much it hurt, no matter that it was pure, unadulterated torture, I wasn’t moving a muscle.
Stealing a glance at Zoe, the sight of her freaked me out. She was pale. Whiter than I’d ever seen her before. Her eyes, ringed with deep black bags, were wide with terror. I could only hope she knew, deep down inside, down in that safe place at the centre of her heart, she knew she had nothing to fear from me. Not now. Not ever.
“Zoe,” I took a measured step toward her.
Her wide eyes never left mine. Every move I made was slow and deliberate. She looked like a fragile and frightened lamb. Reaching out, I took her hand in mine. Her fingers were like icicles, but I had no intention of letting go. My body heat was hers for the taking. Especially if that was the only thing I could offer her right now.
“Just don’t let go, Spencer,” she whispered, and her words reverberated directly to my soul.
“Never,” I promised. Even as the words left my mouth, I surprised myself with how much I really meant them.
“Okay then,” she breathed out and I felt her whole body relax. All the tension drained away and the weight lifted.
“You want to get out of here?”
“Hell yeah!”
“Okay. Let’s get you dressed and discharged, then I’ll take you home,” I confirmed.
I’d never been in this situation before. I’d never wanted to. Honestly, I hoped I never would be again. My best guess was to make sure in excruciating detail that Zoe knew what was going to happen so she wasn’t caught off guard.
Zoe’s lips pursed but she remained stoically silent. Untangling our fingers, I handed her the grey sweat pants and stepped back to let her pull them on. I wanted to give her all the space and privacy she needed. Zoe fumbled and they fell to the floor in a pile. Instead of scooting off the bed to pick them up, tears flooded her face and huge, body racking sobs shook her. Without thought or hesitation, I grabbed the pants and slid onto the bed beside her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and crushing her to my chest. I hated seeing her like this. This broken and defeated. My Zoe, the strong-willed, stubborn woman I’d always known was nowhere to be seen. She stiffened in my arms but only momentarily. As quickly as it appeared, it was gone again. The fight went out of her and she collapsed into my arms and cried. Hard.
“Come on, Zoe,” I tried. “It’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here and no one can hurt you now.”
She sniffed and pulled back, looking up into my face. Although I would never admit it out loud, the look on her face, the pain in her eyes―it broke my fucking heart. Not just a nice clean break, either. It shattered into a million tiny pieces. Something I wouldn’t bet money on ever being able to be repaired. Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, she sobbed a deep sob that shook her whole body. “Your shirt’s wet,” she murmured as she wiped at it.
“Doesn’t matter.”
Steeling herself, Zoe sucked in a deep breath, pulled out of my arms, and straightened her back. She was tough. Right now, she was determined to prove it. “Okay, Spencer. I need to get dressed.”
“Need help?” I offered, handing her the pants.
“Thanks.” She smiled weakly.
Climbing from the bed, I made sure I was facing the wall before I sucked in the deepest breath I’d ever need. This was going to kill me, but Zoe would never know that. She couldn’t. Right now she needed me to be strong for her, and if that’s what she needed, that’s exactly what she would get. I’d be damned if I showed her anything else.
Turning around, I dropped to my knees in front of her and took the pants back from her. I wanted to watch what I was doing. I wanted to make sure I didn’t bump any sore spots, but when I looked up and my eyes locked with hers, and I knew I couldn’t break her trusting glance. My eyes stayed firmly locked on Zoe’s, which meant I was going to dress her by feel. Shit! I was screwed.
I’m not an angel. I never pretended to be. I’d been with my fair share of women over the years and I’d had plenty of practice of stripping them out of their clothes but I’d never dressed one before. This was definitely something new for me.
Tears balanced unshed on Zoe’s eyelashes, but my girl held strong. Carefully I wiggled the pants over her feet and up her calves. Zoe didn’t blink. She barely breathed. This was killing her. Shit, it was killing me. I’d never been so relieved to be so much bigger than someone in my life.
“You ready to stand?” I asked, my voice quivering with uncertainty.
I watched as Zoe’s eyes widened even further and she swallowed heavily. “You’ll be fine. Just lean on me. I won’t let you fall.”
My words must have helped. Slowly she stumbled to her feet, dropping her cold hands on my shoulders. I stayed on my knees, making sure I looked up at her face. My hands reached underneath her hospital gown and pulled up her pants until they were around her tiny waist.
“Okay, Zoe. They’re on. You right to tie them up? They’ll be too big, but you should be able to tighten them.”
“Thanks.” She gulped, reaching down and tugging on the drawstring.
Once she had the pants on I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Zoe sat back down on the side of the bed and I stepped away from her and grabbed my sweater. She was going to drown in it. Right now, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
“Ouch!” Zoe squeaked.
At the sound of her voice, I spun around and saw the pain etched on her face. Then I
noticed what she was trying to do. Zoe was just being Zoe. Trying to do everything herself, the way she always had. Right now she was trying to reach around behind her and undo the ties holding her flimsy hospital gown together.
“Need a hand?” I offered.
“Yeah, but you don’t have to look so damn smug about it,” she scolded, and for the first time I knew Zoe, my Zoe, was still in there somewhere. She might have been silenced momentarily, but she hadn’t been gagged indefinitely.
“Who’s looking smug?” I countered with a smirk. If Zoe wanted to play, I wouldn’t be the one to deny her. At least not today.
“You know you are. Just undo the damn ties and break me out of here.” She huffed, folding her arms across her chest.
“Yes, ma’am,” I winked, stepping up beside her and reaching towards her back.
It took me a moment but I wanted to throw up. Her whole back was covered in scratches. It was scraped red raw with tinges of green grass stains on her soft, creamy skin. There were claw marks across her collarbone and down her shoulder. Some monster had really made a mess of her. I wanted to rip something or someone apart. I heard my teeth grinding and my jaw instantly ached as I clenched it together. I didn’t want Zoe to know how wound up I really was, but I knew I was a shitty actor and she wouldn’t buy it if I tried to lie. Instead I focused on the task at hand and quickly untied each of the three strings across her back.
“Done,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Thanks. Help me with the sweater?” Zoe asked, her soft voice trembling with each word.
“No problems,” I lied. There was a problem. A huge fucking problem.
Quickly I grabbed the sweater and pulled it over her head, watching I didn’t catch her face or ears. Zoe must have sensed my unease and nerves. She wiggled her arms free from the gown but held it tight against her chest. That was the last thing I needed to see right now. Zoe’s boobs in my face. I was struggling to hold my shit together, let alone letting my dumb ass hormones take control. I pulled it down her back and was thankful when Zoe arranged the front.
Coming Home (Homeward Bound Series Book 1) Page 4
