Bleeding Heart

by Taylor Holloway

  “Clara!” I eventually heard Madison cry, and followed her voice to the butler’s pantry.

  Clara was laying slumped forward on her elbows on the counter, staring blearily. Madison’s eyes darted to me as I entered, but she didn’t ask for my help, perhaps assuming that I didn’t give a damn.

  “She’s fine,” the guy standing next to Clara said, his voice confident and amused. He draped an arm around Clara’s bony shoulders, “Claire and I were just about to get out of here. Isn’t that right?” The butler’s pantry led directly to the outside. Madison had likely found her just in time.

  Clara nodded obediently at his prompting. Something obviously wasn’t right. She looked ill.

  “Clara. Her name is Clara, not Claire,” Madison yelled, pushing the guy’s hand off her friend’s shoulder, and pulling her under her own arm, “She was sober a few minutes ago. What did you do?” She accused.

  “Me?” The guy asked defensively, “I didn’t do anything. She came onto me.”

  “I doubt that,” Madison snapped, struggling to support Clara’s weight and physically drag her towards the door that led back to the party, “You aren’t going anywhere with her. Not ever. I’m taking her home.”

  “Claire… Clara,” the guy said to her, reaching forward and grasping her half-unconscious body back toward him, “Tell your friend to leave us alone.”

  “Hmm?” Clara managed, blinking at him in confusion.

  “Tell your friend to leave, Clara,” the guy said again to Clara, slowly and clearly.

  “Friend to leave…” Clara repeated. She was clearly drugged.

  Madison wasn’t having any of it. She pulled at Clara’s hand, causing both of them to tumble back my way. The guy that had been pursuing Clara just shook his head and walked away. The attempted date rape wasn’t worth the effort if he had to argue with Madison.

  “Hey! Come back here you creepy asshole!” Madison yelled at his departing back.

  “I’ll deal with him,” I told her quietly, “I got a good look at him.”

  Madison looked back at me and forward to the guy, unsure if she could trust me. In her eyes I saw indecision, hurt, and mistrust, but she let him go. She sighed.

  Clara’s weight was clearly an issue for Madison. She stumbled backwards again, almost falling into me. I stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Madison, steading her and propping up Clara at the same time. The two of them together probably weighed less than me, so it was no great feat to support them.

  Madison looked back over her shoulder at me, meeting my eyes and causing an electric shock to travel through my nervous system like lightning. Our faces were only inches apart again. Madison was flushed, haughty, and beautiful. I’d never found righteousness sexually appealing before, but Madison was practically lit from within by it. She glowed.

  “Thank you,” Madison said softly. Something in my chest squeezed painfully and I found myself unable to reply.

  Clara chose that moment to double over and throw up all over the floor.

  Angelica found us a second later and helped us clean up and load Clara into the car. The rain had abated for a moment, which made the task a bit easier, although we were all still pretty muddy by the end of it. Angelica sat behind the wheel of her fancy SUV, fuming as Madison did her best to make Clara more comfortable. In hindsight, it was probably the moment when a sincere hatred between Madison and Angelica had been solidified. At the time, all I could think about was that Madison was leaving and I may not ever see her again.

  “Madison, come with me and get a bottle of water for Clara,” I heard myself ordering her, feeling disconnected from my body.

  Madison looked at me, her eyes still wide and untrusting. Silently, she followed me the short distance to the back of the house and fetched one. On the way back out, before she was back in view of Angelica or out of my reach, and before I had even fully considered the action, I pinned her against the back wall of the boathouse.

  Her little gasp of surprise against my mouth was my invitation. I kissed her fiercely, our teeth clashing momentarily before her lips parted willingly and I explored her. My hands on her shoulders slipped to grip her waist tightly and hers rose to my face, brushing her fingertips along my jaw and neck as our tongues fought against each other.

  She felt like she was alight against me, her lithe body writhing and responding enthusiastically as I leaned into her. Could she feel how I was affected by her? What she did to my self-control? My sanity? She could surely feel my arousal since I was so hard it was almost painful. But she wasn’t pulling away or hitting me or doing anything to stop me. She was pulling me toward her and rolling her hips into mine like I’d hoped she would. Like she was already mine. We shared a panting breath, and I felt balanced on a knife’s edge.

  The noise of the party pulled me back to reality. I could hear my cousins and friends calling to me from just inside. Suddenly furious with myself and her, I stepped away. Why couldn’t she have left when I told her to? All of this would have been avoided.

  Madison was obviously confused. I couldn’t blame her. I was confused, too. But there was nothing I could do besides drive her away.

  “Don’t come back here,” I growled at her, shifting and side-stepping her to get back in the door. I glared at her with enough venom that she winced, and then, loud enough for those inside to hear, yelled, “You’re pathetic. Nobody here likes your simpering, uptight, goody-two-shoes attitude. It’s obvious that you’re outclassed little girl. You don’t belong here, and you never will. Honestly, it’s embarrassing enough for me to have to explain it to you. Just go home to your mommy and daddy and leave me alone.”

  She opened her just-kissed mouth to say something, but I slammed the door in her pretty, crestfallen face before she could. My heart hammered against my ribs, and I felt vaguely nauseated. I leaned against the other side of the door with practiced nonchalance, waiting and half-wanting for her to knock or try to open it. She didn’t. A moment later, I heard Angelica’s car start. My only consolation prize that night would be beating the crap out of Clara’s almost-rapist.

  8

  Madison

  Present day…

  The office my dad had reserved for me at his firm was nicer than any I’d ever had before. Situated in a corner of the building, it had a nice view, an expensive computer, a little couch, and long executive desk. It even had its own little bathroom off to the side with a shower. The office was a far cry from the shabby, makeshift workspaces I used in Haiti, but I was too emotionally overwhelmed to feel appreciative.

  Without so much as turning on the light, I collapsed down on the little couch and stared at the ground like it had all the answers to my problems. I studied the uninteresting pattern of the carpet for an indeterminate amount of time, breathing in the quiet and trying to process the evening. The events of the past few hours played on continuous loop in my brain and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I pulled my bun from my head in frustration, running my hands through my hair without shifting my gaze from the ground. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so confused.

  “I guess I thought you’d be crying,” I heard a dry, masculine voice remark, and adrenaline pulled me upright in an instant.

  Alexander Durant had followed me.

  He was leaned casually against the doorframe, head cocked. How long had he been watching me?

  “What do you want?” I asked him. I wanted my voice to sound indignant, but instead it just came out tired and small. Against all odds, Alexander was still as irresistibly attractive as he’d ever been. His looks used to intimidate me, but now he just made me feel inadequate and alone.

  “Isn’t it obvious?” He replied with a smile, moving into the office and switching on a lamp, “I’ve come to help you.”

  “Help me?” I questioned him, and my tone was appropriately acerbic this time, “Why? You’ve never shown any concern for my wellbeing in the past.”

  Something like anger flashed in his black eyes as he took a seat f
acing me.

  “You’re wrong, but it doesn’t matter,” Alexander replied, “I’m also here to offer you something.”

  “You have nothing that I want right now,” I snapped, “please just leave me alone.”

  “I don’t think you really want to be alone.” Alexander raised an eyebrow at me, causing a chill to run through my body. “And I have exactly what you want.”

  “Spit it out, whatever it is you came here to say,” I told him firmly, banishing the highly inappropriate thought that had just popped into my head. I was unwilling to sit here arguing with him in the middle of the night. “I really want to be alone right now. I need to be alone right now.”

  “No, no you don’t,” Alexander told me, “Being alone is the very last thing you need right now. You might think you want to be alone, but what you really need is to stop feeling whatever it is you’re feeling right now. I can help with that.”

  I could practically feel the pressure of his eyes on me as I nervously crossed and uncrossed my legs. I could sense the heat behind his gaze and realized exactly what he was offering me.

  “You’re a terrible person!” I replied in disbelief. I tried to speak with conviction and authority when what I actually felt was indecision, anxiety, and that same heart-squeezing attraction I always felt in his presence. “That is completely inappropriate, and you know it. You need to leave. Right now, before you embarrass yourself.”

  This was a trick. He was here to humiliate me. Somehow, some way, he was going to make this night even worse.

  Moving slowly, as if giving me time to lose my nerve and run away, Alexander rose to his feet. With the same deliberate slowness, he took my right hand in both of his huge ones and pulled me upright against him. He looked at me solemnly, and I realized that he was one hundred percent serious.

  Alexander was going to seduce me.

  I knew I should have pulled away. I should have ordered him out of this office, out of my office. But with him, curiosity and lust made me stupid. I knew I was going to regret it, but I tilted my head up and he kissed me.

  Our first, last, and only kiss may have been almost a decade ago, but Alexander was my very first real kiss, and the benchmark against which all others have been measured. No one else has ever even come close. I yielded easily when his tongue flicked against my lips, inviting him to push deeply into my mouth with his. I threaded my hesitant fingers through his soft hair, shorter now than it had been then, and felt him grasp my hips as our kiss deepened.

  Alexander turned to press my back against the desk until I was seated on it. I could feel him smiling into my mouth as I shifted awkwardly out of my shoes. Still without breaking our kiss, he laid his jacket on the desk behind me.

  “Do you still want me to leave?” He whispered into my collarbone.

  I shook my head.

  “Say it,” Alexander insisted in the same low whisper.

  “I don’t want you to leave,” I told him. My voice was huskier than usual, but my words were true. “I want you.”

  Smiling as if he’d won the world’s best prize, Alexander turned his attention to my throat, nipping lightly as he unzipped my dress. I wrapped my legs loosely around his hips as he finished the zipper. My pulse hammered in my ears and I could feel his arousal pressed warm, long, and hard against my thigh as he reached around to unhook my bra clasp.

  With me seated and him standing in front of me, he was at an ideal height for me to arch my back and bare my chest to him. I felt suddenly shy until I saw his expression. His dark eyes were wide, fully dilated, and with a slim ring of white all round.

  “You’re so fucking sexy,” Alexander mumbled. His voice was full of obvious, genuine awe.

  His heartfelt appreciation erased my nervousness. He exhaled slowly and appreciatively when he dispensed with my bra and saw my chest completely bared. He took one hardening nipple between his lips and the other between his fingers. I loved to be teased like this. He briefly but thoroughly lavished attention on me, pinching and rolling my nipples against his tongue until both were hard, sensitive points, before occasionally biting me in an exploration of my reactions. I whimpered and sighed, reveling in the sensations he provoked.

  Topless on the desk, I felt wanton and sexy and lost as he played with me. He mumbled something again about how beautiful I was, and I smiled up at the ceiling, allowing pleasure to erase all the other emotions vying for attention in my brain. When the heat between my thighs became unbearable, however, I pushed myself against him looking for friction. He didn’t make me wait long.

  Stepping back slightly, he struggled momentarily to get my panties off before simply lifting me easily to pull them down over my ankles. For my part, I sent my curious, grasping fingers to his fly. I found him hard, ready, and even larger than I’d imagined. I ran my fingers down his impressive length with hands that grew less hesitant with every long, slow stroke. My heart was pounding in my ears and I was already breathing heavily as I eagerly eased back further on the desk to receive him.

  Alexander was barely undressed, with his shirt half unbuttoned to show his chiseled body and his pants around his ankles by the time he remembered something important. He reached into his pocket to produce the foil packet of a condom but I shook my head and pointed to the implant in my arm. He threw it down on the ground with my dress with apparent relief.

  “Do you want this?” He asked me again, staring into my eyes with a shocking intensity.

  In response, I spread my legs for him and smiled. He touched me tentatively, almost reverently. He gently stroked my wetness before slipping one long finger, and then another, inside me. I whimpered at the penetration, leaning my weight onto my elbows and working my legs wider apart and squirming.

  After only a few slick strokes, he withdrew his fingers and angled his thumb just so. He started making little circles and I pushed back against him. My excitement was building steadily, but I wanted—I needed— more. I needed all of him. When he next paused, I reached for him. He nodded, encouraging me to stroke him for a moment before guiding my hand to push his entry, inch by inch, inside me.

  When we were joined to the hilt—and he was so big inside me that it felt like an achievement—he took my head in both his hands and kissed me deeply. His tongue assaulted mine, stealing my breath. I felt completely possessed and cherished in that moment, and leaned into his shoulder, rocking slowly on the edge.

  He grabbed my ass, squeezing and kneading it with the same thorough attention he gave my chest. Still not moving inside me despite my needy whimpers, he continued to thoroughly explore my ass with his strong, long fingers. Finally, when I was dripping with sweat and breathless with want of him, Alexander used his height as leverage to push us both farther onto the desk so that my back was flat with him on top of me.

  As he straightened, I found that I was laying perpendicular to him and he was standing in front of me. The submissiveness of my position did not escape either of us. He had complete control of the situation from this angle. I locked my ankles around his hips and looked up at him expectantly. I never did master raising a single eyebrow, but my implication was clear. He smiled down at me with a look in his eyes that was equal parts tenderness and mischief.

  When he started to move, all of his former hesitance was gone. He moved back and forth into me with a confident, punishing rhythm. He gripped my legs around his hips and moved my ankles to his shoulders, further limiting my ability to do anything but accept what he was doing to me. His movement forcefully cleared my mind of any excess thoughts except for the sensations of this moment. Alexander had been right. This was exactly what I needed. I needed someone to reset my brain.

  Despite the helplessness of my prone position, I rocked my hips back into him with total abandon, forgetting—if only momentarily—all the humiliation, shock, and hurt of tonight, the last three months of loneliness, and the last however many years away from him. I was seeking nothing but heat and friction and release. And I needed him to give it to me.


  Before long, however, he stopped. He withdrew and swiftly pulled us both onto the floor.

  “Get on your hands and knees.” Alexander ordered me, his eyes burning into mine with need and anticipation. He was inviting me to replicate the moment of my own humiliation earlier tonight. Commanding it, actually. At least we weren’t on a bathroom floor.

  The truth is that I wanted to get my revenge against Kevin. I wanted it to be complete. And this was definitely one way to do it.

  I leaned forward on the carpet just like he told me, spreading my legs in front of him and lifting my ass high up in the air to bear myself to him from behind. Alexander reentered me gently from the back and began moving with leisurely, teasingly slow strokes. I twisted my head around to look at him, but he fisted my hair in his hand and turned my head back around, using the jolt to pull me back onto him like a leash.

  His movements increased gradually in tempo and urgency, growing more and more forceful. The more he gave me, the more I wanted. Soon I was grinding back against him with every thrust, airy noises coming from my throat as we pushed against each other with abandon.

  When I felt nothing but him, nothing but the oblivion of the moment, my climax overwhelmed my senses and took me off the edge. I was panting, spent, and limp when he came a moment later, filling me with wet heat as a low moan escaped him. Alexander pulled out of me, released my hair, and yanked us both to slump against the desk. He settled his jacket around my naked shoulders and held me half in his lap. We leaned against each other breathlessly for a few minutes in silence, listening to our own heartbeats.

  9