Wild is the Blue

by Cecilia Randell

  “So, what you thought you were mad about is not what you were mad about.”

  She opened her mouth, had no idea what to say, and closed it. “I suppose not,” she finally said.

  “And that means you have nothing to be mad about.” He smiled, as though he had just said the most clever thing.

  “There’s something wrong with that logic.”

  Duri shrugged, then gestured down the hall. “There are still things to prepare before tomorrow.”

  Blue headed toward the back stairs. One good thing about staring at a wall of cubbies lost in thought? Most of the other students had cleared out.

  “May I s—“ Duri cut off as the lift doors opened. Inside, Blaine stood between two purple-robed and stone faced instructors.

  When their gazes met, Blaine’s face flushed a deep red and he lunged from the lift. Duri cut in front of her and held out his hand. “Halt.”

  “You strontu sucking kulce.” Blaine pressed into Duri’s hand, though he didn’t attempt to get past him. The young man’s expression twisted in rage. “I know you’re behind this.”

  “Mr. Friate.” One of the instructors stepped from the lift and grabbed his shoulder. “I suggest you get back on the lift. Outbursts like this do nothing to help your case.”

  His case? What had—? Blue recalled Mo’ata’s plan from their last family meeting. Damn that man works fast.

  Blaine jerked out of his hold, still focused on Blue. “You have no idea who you are playing with. Do you have any idea who my family is? We will—“

  “I suggest you not finish that thought,” Duri cut in.

  “Or what?”

  Blue attempted to step around Duri. Blaine tracked her with his eyes.

  “Duri, be a dear and move for me?” Blue said.

  “Not happening.”

  “Please?”

  Duri hesitated, then stepped aside.

  Maybe he senses I need an outlet for her anger, and look! One appeared.

  Blue squared off with Blaine, the one instructor pulling at his shoulder. The second one held the lift doors, though he looked ready to move at any moment. A few student stragglers hovered half-way down the hall. No doubt they wanted to watch the drama, but didn’t want to be part of it.

  “What is it you think you can do to me, Blaine Friate? Tell me, exactly. Because I will tell you, there is nothing you can really do. Get me kicked out of the Academy? Fine. I’m only here to get this power under control. Get me sent back to Earth? I honestly doubt you have the power to do that. Make trouble for the Fausts and Sirisa Shipping like Sarah once threatened? Legally, I have absolutely nothing to do with them. Get me kicked out of my apartment? Fine, I’ll go live with Trevon Zeynar in his rooms here in Tremmir. I’d like to see you get me kicked out of there. So, tell me Blaine, what exactly is it you think you can do to me?”

  He opened his mouth and nothing came out.

  “That’s what I thought.”

  Blaine jerked toward her, his eyes rolling with rage. Blue jerked her knee up and into his groin. He froze, a faint wheeze coming from his throat.

  Turning to Duri, Blue smiled. “I feel better now.”

  The one instructor finally got Blaine back on the lift. The second gave Blue a thumbs up, an Earth gesture she’d noticed some of the older men of the Ministry liked to use.

  Then her smile fell. “You’re going to have to report this, aren’t you?”

  “I’m afraid so.” He snorted. “But I don’t think either of us is going to get in trouble for this one.”

  She eyed the lift, and decided to use the stairs instead. Setting off, her step was lighter. Hitting Blaine had felt good. Maybe she just needed to go hit more things? Would that help get the rest of the anger out…?

  “Oh,” she said as she triggered the door to the stairs open. “What was it you were about to say before we encountered the ikpul?”

  “I’m not sure I need to now.” Duri descended three steps behind her, his boots echoing with dull thuds in the concrete and metal stairwell. “But I was going to say it would be preferable to work through your anger before arriving at Mr. Audal’s family residence. You will want to show a united front before them.”

  “Duri, you are much more than an efficient shadow,” Blue said.

  “Yes. I am the youngest guard—“

  “—to be given the privilege of attending a Council and watching over the Family head, I know,” she finished for him, looking back to send him a smile.

  She could have sworn he let out a relieved sigh when she turned back around.

  On the transport home, silence fell between them once more. Usually, Elaina was there, chatting and drawing both of their attention. Today, Blue was left alone with her thoughts—an all too infrequent occurrence.

  Duri was correct. While he didn’t say it in so many words, she needed to sort her shit before tomorrow. Blue leaned her head back into the gray leather of her seat and turned to stare out the window.

  So where was this anger coming from?

  Yes, the Boss was an ass. Bosses were sometimes asses, though, and she’d have to learn to deal.

  Yes, Mo’ata should have handled the situation better when it came to telling them about the assignment, but he honestly didn’t do anything wrong. Except maybe act like the world was falling before we even got there and freaked me out. He’d apologized for all of that already.

  Yes, the assignment came at a horrible time. But, if she were honest, she was excited for it. It would be her first time being deliberately in the field. If anyone had the right to be angry, it was be Mo’ata. This violated their agreement that she would not be in the field until she “knew the language and could hold her own in a fight.” She was only part of the way there.

  All the reasons she had listed to herself before, when she examined them now, only generated a mild annoyance, if that. They really weren’t why she was angry.

  Blue dug deep.

  Under that annoyance, she was mad. She was furious. She wanted to rage and throw things, maybe hit a wall or two or twenty. She wanted to fire round after round into the practice dummy at the Academy’s target range. She wanted to take one of the kitchen knives and wildly chop an opi root into minuscule pieces. She wanted to climb on Beast’s back and ride with abandon until they were both exhausted.

  It was a huge ball of rage that she managed to push down over the last four days because… it wasn’t directed at anything. It just was.

  And it started when she saw that photo of Felix.

  “I feel like I’m being used,” she said. Not really to Duri, but she needed to say the words aloud, and he was there. She kept her gaze on the blur of grey and green as the transport wizzed through Tremmir. “I feel like I’m being used, but more than that, I feel like Felix is being used. By me, by the Boss, by his family, by his ex. By everyone. And you know what he wants more than anything?”

  Duri shook his head.

  “He wants a simple fucking life, with someone to love him that he can love back. That’s it. That’s all he wants. It’s why he hates mentioning exactly who his father is. He doesn’t want to deal with all the… political maneuvering that comes with it. And what are we doing? We’re throwing him right into it, for the sake of an assignment.” Her heart pounded as she spoke, and her jaw tightened until it was a chore to force the words through stiff lips.

  This. This was the source of her rage.

  “We’re not doing it because he wants to go home, and it just so happens that fits into our plans. We’re not doing it because his family asked us there, or wants to meet me. We’re not even doing this because I’m some great agent who is vital to the security of the Alliance, or our team is in a place to gather covert information no one else can get.” She twisted her head to stare at Duri.

  He remained blank-faced.

  I wonder how many rants like this he’s had to listen to before? Blue sucked in a breath. “We’re doing this because the Boss thinks I stir up trouble, and he just so ha
ppens to need trouble stirred. I’m why Felix has to go home like this, and I… hate it. We’re all supposed to be partners, to help each other achieve our goals and dreams, and instead—“ She swallowed. “Instead, I’m dragging him into his nightmare.”

  Duri opened his mouth, closed it, shook his head then opened it again.

  “Oh, just tell me.”

  “I am not comfortable with this. I think you should speak with the clansman rather than me. But,” he said as Blue frowned, “I will ask you one more thing. What has the mercenary said about all of this?”

  “He… doesn’t seem all that upset, actually.”

  “What did he say?”

  “That it was fine, that he was fine.” It had been their night last night. He’d talked a little more about the place he’d grown up, though he’d avoided talking about his family. Every time she’d tried to ask about the assignment, all he said was he was fine, and it needed to be done.

  She’d ask once more, she decided, then leave it. If he was truly okay with this, she would figure out how to drop it.

  “Thank you, Duri,” she said.

  “For what?”

  “For being a good listener.”

  “Oh. You are welcome.”

  Blue nodded and returned her attention to the city as it rushed by. When she got home, her first stop was Felix. Then Levi. The anger still rode her, directly under the surface. Maybe a good round of kiti would help work some of it from her.

  After that, she needed to see her clansman, and offer one more apology.

  LEVI

  Blue stormed through the door just as Levi pulled a tray of stuffed bread from the wave-cooker. Her gaze zeroed in on it.

  “Perfect.” She reached for one, and Levi caught her hand. She was going to burn herself if she wasn’t careful.

  Grabbing a napkin, he wrapped one of the stuffed-breads and handed it to her. “Let it cool a little.”

  She tugged on his arm and he bent down, allowing her to give him a quick kiss. Before she could pull away, he turned and pulled her to him, claiming her mouth.

  She returned the kiss, but eventually pulled back. As it was not his night, he let her go.

  “Felix around?” she asked.

  “In his room.”

  “Good. I have to ask him something real fast, but could we go for a round of kiti? I need to… rid myself of some anger.”

  He studied her. Yes, Blue had been solemn and more irritable the last few days, but she didn’t appear angry now. The Blue that stood before him was the Blue he knew, her eyes bright and movements quick, free with her kisses and touches. “Anger?”

  “Yeah. I’ve been a real, um, bitch the last few days, I know. I think I’ve figured it out, but I’ve still got this…” she clenched her hand into a fist and shook it in front of her chest, “… inside me. I figured a few run throughs of the kiti would work for that.”

  His chest swelled. “I would be happy to practice with you, illi. Should I see if Forrest would like to join us?”

  Her face lit up. “Yeah. I think it’ll do him some good. I’ve been worked up, which means Garfield is affected, and that always gets Vivi going, so…”

  Levi nodded. “I will check with him while you visit Felix.” He plucked the bread from her grip. “And you will eat this when we are done, not before.” He crossed to the cooling-unit and grabbed an aipin fruit. “Here.”

  Taking a big bite, she waved and headed for Felix’s room.

  Levi waited just long enough to hear her knock, then he moved. He found Forrest in his room, bent over the seyna drawing he’d finally found his inspiration for. Levi grabbed his shoulder and gave him the sign for silence.

  “Come to my room, quick. We can hear better there,” he whispered to the younger man.

  Maybe he shouldn’t have done it, but Blue had been having trouble. He wanted to know if she was truly ready to resolve things now, and he wanted Forrest there to confirm for him. The boy was amazingly accurate when it came to predicting her moods.

  Forrest gave him a stubborn look, then he shrugged and rose.

  “I just want to make sure,” Blue was saying, her light voice muffled but clear through Levi’s wall.

  Forrest turned wide eyes on the Prizzoli. “You can hear everything is here?” he hissed.

  “Not now,” Levi mouthed, then pressed his ear to the wall.

  “I am fine, pet.” Felix’s deep voice was less clear, but still distinguishable.

  “‘Fine’ as in, I want to do this, it’s awesome and I’m excited, or ‘fine’ as in, I am going to put on a fake smile and bear my way through this?”

  Felix laughed. “Somewhere in the middle. ‘Fine’ as in, I knew I would need to confront my father eventually, this assignment needs to be done, and I am looking forward to seeing what kind of trouble we can stir up.”

  “We?”

  “Yes, we.”

  Silence fell. Just as Levi was about to pull away from the wall, Blue gasped, then moaned.

  Levi jerked back, only to find Forrest still pressed to the wall, a wide grin on his face. “That is not why we are listening,” Levi said as he pulled the younger man away from the wall.

  “You’re the one who started it.”

  “You know why—“

  “There you two are. Ready?” Blue asked from Levi’s doorway. Her lips were swollen and her cheeks flushed.

  Levi turned to her, his own cheeks heating. “Yes, illi. Did you finish speaking with Felix?”

  “Yeah. I think we’re good. I’m just going to go change real fast, forgot about that.”

  Blue disappeared once more.

  “She’s fine, Levi. Probably better than she’s been in weeks.”

  He huffed out a breath. “Good. That is good.”

  “Not used to seeing Blue mad, huh?”

  Levi shook his head and sat on his bed, his hands smoothing over the bright red fabric of his blanket. As a guard for the Crystals of Shardon, his quarters had been plain, unlike the rest of the Prizzolis’ rooms. When he’d gone shopping for his own decorations, he’d indulged himself.

  “It doesn’t happen often,” Forrest supplied. He wandered over to Levi’s desk, where a small collection of objects was housed: a figurine of a hopper, a stone, one of his blades, and a small crystal—an amethyst Trevon had picked up on Earth. Levi had not been sure if it was true consideration for him or a sick joke that prompted the Family head to send it, but he liked it nonetheless. In a frame against the wall was the drawing Forrest had done for him on their first trip to Karran, after he’d saved Blue from Aterian Zeynar’s men.

  “But when it does?” Forrest continued. “Oh man.”

  “Oh man?” Levi wasn’t familiar with that phrase. Which was not surprising. Both Forrest and Blue said the strangest things sometimes. He just followed along as best as he could.

  Forrest waved a dismissive hand and leaned against the wall. “Doesn’t matter. As I said, she’s better now. Or, mostly. Still angry, but she’s not going to be directing it at any of us.” His gaze had gone distant and his face soft. Then he shook himself back to awareness. “Sorry.”

  “I do not mind.” It is why I dragged you in here to my room, after all. “Blue and I are going to have a session of kiti practice, if you would like to join us?”

  Forrest pushed away from the wall. “Yes. I would like that very much. I think we could all use some calming.” He headed for his room. “I’ll meet you both down there in a few minutes.”

  Their usual practice time was early morning, and not many of the residents were stirring at that time. Now, the courtyard was dotted with groups of people, some playing games, but most simply enjoying the early evening air of the blooming months.

  A group of four occupied their usual spot, throwing around a clakak ball. Scanning the yard, he noted the space next to the stables was empty. “Over here, illi.”

  Blue, following behind him, nodded and veered off. Without a word, they fell into the beginning forms of the ki
ti, moving together. They did not use blades this time. This practice session was not about training, but about helping his Blue find her balance again.

  He concentrated on the movements, and on her, and allowed the rest of the courtyard to fall away. When Forrest joined them, picking up where they were in the forms, Levi expanded his awareness to include him.

  The entire kiti took an hour and a half to run through. In the mornings, they usually did only part of it, then ran through the remaining forms the next day.

  Levi took them through the entire thing.

  When they finished, Blue’s face was flushed and a light sheen of sweat glistened on her brow. A brow that was clear of the furrows that had been plaguing her.

  She tugged on his arm and he bent down to receive her kiss. “Thank you, duckie.”

  His eyes widened. Was this his nickname? Duckie? What did that mean? Like the ducks displayed on the shelves in the living room?

  Forrest chuckled. “Yours isn’t so bad, after all.” With a clap to Levi’s shoulder, he slipped his arm through Blue’s and dragged her inside, leaving the Prizzoli to stare after them.

  No, it wasn’t such a bad name.

  MO’ATA

  Blue shut the door behind her and advanced on Mo’ata where he sat on the edge of his bed.

  His brow rose. This was his night, but with the way she had been acting, he had not expected her to seek him out.

  The last few days had been… hard on him. He had apologized, even offered her pennies, and still her anger would not leave. Despite being raised among the clans, none of his experience had prepared him for an angry Blue who stayed angry.

  What did the other men do? How did they appease their shopas in situations like this?

  What other prida ran into situations like this?

  He enjoyed the fact that theirs was an unusual prida, that they did not play by the rules. Having Blue by his side made things interesting, brought new life even to the every day things of life on Karran.

  But this? This was not exactly an experience he wanted to continue to have with her.