Marred

by Tess Thompson

  Kara nodded, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to have your house decked out for Christmas by a professional. “We’re doing two huge trees and garland and sparkles everywhere. Honor wanted silver and cranberry for her colors, so that’s what she’s going to have.” She lowered her voice. “I told them to spare no expense. We want the best for our girl.”

  Honor came out of the dressing room wearing the first dress of the day. The attendant helped her onto the raised platform situated in front of a long mirror. The dress had an enormous skirt with a tight bodice.

  “It’s pretty,” Kara said.

  “But not quite right,” Honor said. “I feel like I’m playing dress up in my mother’s clothes.”

  “Or on a plantation with Rhett Butler,” Maggie said.

  “You’re too petite for it,” Violet said. “That’s the problem.”

  The next one had a tight bodice and a mermaid skirt with a slit that went up to the top of Honor’s thigh.

  “What in the world? How is this a wedding dress?” Kara asked. “You can’t get married with your butt hanging out.”

  “You cannot get married to ‘yes ma’am Zane’ in that dress,” Maggie said. “Even though you look hotter than hot.”

  “I agree. I can’t wear this one. I’m someone’s mother now,” Honor said.

  “If that’s the case you’re going to have to take half your wardrobe to the Goodwill,” Violet said.

  “I do love this one though,” Honor said.

  “You don’t really like it?” Kara asked.

  “It’s killing me not to buy it right here and now.” Honor grinned.

  Kara waved her hands in front of her face like a traffic cop at an intersection. “I’m going to pretend like you don’t mean that.”

  “You’re such a prude,” Honor said. “Honestly, you’re like from the 1950s or something.”

  The third dress was the color of blush with a mermaid skirt and a beaded sleeveless bodice.

  “No way,” Kara said. “You need white.”

  “I’m not exactly a virgin,” Honor said.

  “The dress has to be white,” Maggie said. “Traditional, like Zane.”

  “But I want him to gasp when he sees me,” Honor said. “I can’t be too conservative.”

  “The one with the slit all the way up to your butt would make him gasp,” Violet said.

  “In horror. He’d probably run down the aisle and tie his jacket around my waist,” Honor said, laughing.

  The fourth and fifth dresses were no good. One had puffy sleeves. The other was made of a silky material that clung to all the wrong places. Violet lost count after that.

  Finally, they found the one. When Honor came out of the dressing room, they all let out a collective happy sigh. Sparkly beads adorned the fitted, strapless bodice. The skirt was made from layers of tulle with a lace overlay. With the three-foot train and filmy veil, it seemed as if the whole ensemble floated and moved like a graceful breeze.

  The attendant fanned the train over the edge of the platform. Honor’s eyes sparkled in the mirror. “This is it.”

  “Can you guys have it ready in four weeks?” Kara asked.

  “It’s possible. With the right frame of mind,” the attendant said.

  “Meaning if I’m willing to pay?” Honor asked.

  “Precisely.”

  “I’m willing. For this dress, anything.”

  Afterward, they all went to dinner at one of Honor’s favorite restaurants in the city. It wasn’t until they were seated that Violet learned why.

  “This is the restaurant Hugh took me to when I graduated from college,” Honor said. “It was the first time I ever ate someplace fancy. I come here when I’m in the city whenever I can. To remember him and that night.”

  Violet looked around the glittering restaurant. It was not the type of establishment she could imagine Hugh Shaw enjoying. He’d been so down to earth and casual. Here the staff were dressed in black and described the food like they’d written the recipe. All the tables had crisp white napkins and tablecloths. Any fallen crumbs were whisked away by the server.

  “I had no idea what to do with all the utensils,” Honor said.

  “I wouldn’t have either,” Maggie said.

  Violet’s parents had sent her to a course on dinner etiquette. She knew the use for every fork, spoon, and knife. “I would’ve. My dad beat that kind of thing into me.”

  They ordered wine and appetizers to share. “All the best stuff is on the appetizer list,” Honor said.

  “Always,” Kara said.

  While they waited for their wine to arrive, they talked about the details of the wedding reception. Although engaged in the conversation, Kara kept glancing at her phone, obviously worried about Brody. Honor must have noticed because she steered the conversation toward a light topic.

  Honor tore off a piece of bread from the loaf on the table and passed it over to Maggie. “You know what’s bugging me. Why don’t we have a name for our group like the Dogs do?”

  “We should have one,” Maggie said.

  “Even though it’s cheesy as hell,” Honor said.

  “I think it’s cute, not cheesy,” Maggie said.

  “Grown men with a summer camp name is not cute,” Honor said. “It’s like it should be hung over the door of their cabin. The Dogs. Cabin B.”

  “It’s kind of sad, in a way,” Maggie said. “Jackson told me Kyle thought of it as well as the ritual of their Friday night poker games. He wanted desperately to belong to a group to make up for his lack of family.”

  “I get that,” Honor said.

  “Me too,” Maggie said.

  Kara and Violet nodded in agreement.

  “Besides Brody and Lance, none of us have any family,” Kara said. “Maybe that’s why we’re all so close.”

  “That and we’re awesome,” Honor said.

  A server appeared with a bottle of white wine. Honor nodded approval and he poured glasses for each of them. Violet detected aromas of butterscotch and melon as she swirled the wine around her glass.

  Honor raised her glass. “Thank you, ladies, for being my family. Sharing this wedding stuff, although almost embarrassing, is super fun.”

  They all clinked glasses.

  “If the boys are Dogs, we could be the Cats,” Kara said, taking up the thread from earlier.

  “Too on the nose,” Maggie said.

  “On the nose?” Violet asked.

  “Obvious,” Maggie said. “Like in a bad script.”

  They paused the conversation as the server brought their trays of appetizers. While the food was passed around, Kara looked at her phone again. Violet caught Honor’s eye and they silently agreed to continue with the distraction technique.

  “What makes a dog wag its tail?” Honor asked. “Because that’s what we do.”

  “You always make everything dirty.” Kara put aside her phone and placed a piece of fig and pear flatbread on her plate.

  “But am I right?”

  “We make something wag,” Maggie said.

  “Thank God.” Honor wriggled a limp pickled asparagus.

  “I do love a hard breadstick.” Maggie picked up a breadstick wrapped in prosciutto and twirled it like a baton then took a bite out of one end. They collapsed into laughter.

  “Ladies, really?” Kara asked, wiping her eyes. “Are we twelve?”

  “Kind of,” Honor said.

  They ate in silence for a few minutes. “Dogs like walks, right?” Kara asked.

  “We can’t be the Walks. That sounds dumb,” Honor said.

  “And the opposite of feminism,” Violet said.

  “Like they walk all over us? I don’t think so,” Honor said.

  “No, that won’t do,” Kara said.

  “Dinner. Dogs like dinner,” Violet said.

  “Everyone likes dinner.” Honor cut into a meatball. “Especially me.”

  “The Dinners? No, just no,” Kara said.

  “T
reats make a dog wag its tail,” Maggie said.

  “The Treats? Does that sound right?” Kara asked.

  “I feel like it needs a jazz hand movement to go with it,” Maggie said, demonstrating like only a former dancer could.

  “We’re not cupcakes. That’s a treat,” Honor said.

  “What about simply the Wags?” Violet asked.

  “It has a nice ring to it,” Honor said.

  “Brody wants to have a baby,” Kara said, out of the blue.

  The table hushed.

  “You don’t want to?” Maggie asked, finally.

  Kara shook her head. “Not to fill some hole he has now that football’s done. He has to want one for the right reason.”

  “What would that be exactly?” Maggie asked.

  “I don’t know. This deep desire to make a family together,” Kara said.

  “He has that,” Honor said. “But I understand what you’re saying. He’s reeling right now, and this seems like a knee jerk reaction.”

  Kara nodded with a grateful smile. “Yes, exactly. They always say not to make any life altering decisions when you’re in crisis mode.”

  “Jackson wants to have a baby in the worst way,” Maggie said. “I’m not ready. My career is finally taking off.”

  “Is he supportive?” Violet asked.

  “Yes, of course. It’s Jackson we’re talking about. But the way he was looking at Mollie the other night told me everything I need to know.”

  “Wait a year or two. It’s fine,” Honor said. “Enjoy each other. Zane and I will never have the chance to be just us since we have Jubie. I’m kind of jealous. Not that I would trade Jubie for anything.”

  Maggie sobered. With a mournful expression, she turned to Honor. “Does it bother you that we’re talking about babies?”

  “What? No. Am I sad that I can’t have a baby? Yes. Does that mean I can’t be happy for others? No.”

  “You’re a better person than me,” Maggie said.

  “We all know that’s not true,” Honor said.

  Kara dropped her fork onto her plate, as if it was suddenly hot. “I’m worried about Brody.”

  “He’s going to be okay,” Honor said. “Like Lance said, he’ll bounce back. He’s not the first football player to have to retire.”

  Kara pushed food around on her plate. “I wanted him to retire. Secretly. I would never have told him that, but I swear to God, every game I sat there terrified. I’m a medical professional. I know what can happen. And then it did. Am I a bad wife?”

  “Oh gosh, no,” Maggie said. “I would be the exact same way if it were Jackson.”

  “I was nervous for him too,” Honor said. “It just means we love him.”

  The subject changed to what Brody might do next, including that Honor had organized meetings for him to meet with the producers of several sports networks. Violet listened, fighting the sadness that slithered into her like suffocating smoke.

  During a pause in the conversation, the words slipped out of her mouth. “Do you have to be married to a Dog to be a Wag?” She ripped a piece of bread in two, afraid she might cry.

  “Of course not,” Kara said.

  Violet’s throat ached. “Good, because there’s only two Dogs left and I’m certain neither of them are marrying me.”

  “You sure about that?” Honor raised one eyebrow and cocked her head to the side. “Because none of us are.”

  “After what we saw the other night, we’re all pretty sure how Kyle feels about you,” Maggie said gently.

  “Yeah, beating the crap out of the guy at the bar pretty much told us what we needed to know,” Honor said.

  Violet made a fuss of buttering a piece of her torn bread, afraid to look at anyone. “We’ve spent a lot of time together in our little cocoon. We’ve talked about everything. I’ve told him things I’ve never told anyone. He’s opened up to me about his past—most of it anyway. There’s a closeness between us that I never would have seen coming, not in a million years.”

  “I couldn’t help but notice he came out of your bedroom the other night,” Kara said.

  “What?” Honor said. “You didn’t tell us that.”

  “I wasn’t sure it was my place,” Kara said.

  “This is key information,” Honor said. “Fess up, Violet.”

  Violet flushed as she told them how he’d offered to stay with her and she’d accepted. “We just talked. Like we always do.” For heaven’s sake, just admit it. There was no reason to keep the truth from them. She buried her face in her hands. “I’m in love with him. It’s so stupid. So juvenile.”

  “It’s not stupid, sweetie,” Maggie said. “Your feelings are your feelings.”

  “Yeah, how is it stupid?” Honor asked.

  “He’s damaged,” Violet said. “I don’t think he’ll ever want what I want.”

  Honor picked up her glass and paused for a moment, as if thinking through what she wanted to say. “He’s a man with something to prove. All the women, the fast cars, making deals like the devil’s chasing him—they’re all just an attempt to prove his worth. He has some gigantic demons. I’m not sure what happened to him when he was young, but I know it was bad. I can spot a walking wounded a mile away. I know from my own experience the only way to work through those demons is through love. Hugh was the first person to show me love, then Brody, then you ladies, and now Zane. Kyle has the Dogs. Now he needs the right woman.”

  Maggie wiped at the corners of her eyes with a napkin. “That’s beautiful, Honor. I feel a new song coming on.”

  “You need to fight for him,” Honor said to Violet. “It’s hard to put yourself out there, but if anyone can conquer Kyle Hicks, it’s you.”

  “What do I do?” Violet asked.

  “Tell him how you feel,” Maggie said. “I saw him the other night. There’s no way that man isn’t in love with you.”

  “You’re such a romantic,” Violet said.

  Maggie smiled and picked up her wineglass. “Let’s have a toast. To romance.”

  “To kicking fear’s ass,” Honor said.

  “To the opposite of fear,” Kara said. “To love.”

  The next night, Kyle came home from work looking like a kid on Christmas morning. “I found us a house,” he said.

  Violet sat cross-legged on the floor, dressed in loose jeans and a sweater. Dakota had been sent to his room for a time out after refusing to pick up his toys. Next to her, Mollie kicked and squirmed under a mobile made of red and black farm animals. “I don’t believe it.”

  He rubbed his hands together. “You underestimate my magical powers.”

  “Magical powers?” She laughed. Why did her heart leap at the sight of him?

  “Actually, Honor found it for us. She met a couple who need renters while they travel for a year. They want to leave all the furniture and household items, so it’s perfect for us. It’s gorgeous. And, get this—it’s right down the street from Honor and Zane.”

  “Which house is it?”

  “The Burnside house. Do you know it?”

  The Burnside house was large and pristine with a view of the ocean. “Do they know we have a three-year-old?” Why had she said it like that? They were not a we.

  “A fat security deposit made their worries disappear. I cleared everything with them.” He pulled her to her feet. “Don’t worry so much.” For a second, she thought he might pull her into an embrace. Instead, they stared at each other until Violet knelt next to the baby, pretending she needed to adjust Mollie’s onesie.

  He joined her on the floor and lifted Mollie into his arms, kissing her forehead. “Hello, sweet girl.” To Violet he said, “I never thought I’d be this excited to move into a real house.”

  “What about your pack-and-play life?” she asked.

  “Overrated.” He grinned.

  Mollie looked up at her daddy’s face, then matched his grin.

  “Did you see that? Was that a smile?” Kyle asked.

  “That was a smile.
”

  “Holy crap,” he said.

  She wouldn’t tell him, but Mollie had smiled at her earlier that day. Let him believe her first smile was for him. Violet reached over and stroked Mollie’s cheek. She was rewarded with another smile. “She takes my breath away sometimes.”

  “Totally,” he said.

  I love her. I love him. She loved them both like they belonged to her. But they didn’t. The path out of here was paved with one heartbreak too many.

  How had this happened?

  “What is it?” Kyle asked. “You got sad.”

  She blinked to focus on his face. He watched her with a wary look in his eyes, like she was a wild cat sure to bolt out of the room. “I’m going to miss Mollie when our year is done. That’s all.”

  “That’s all?” His brow furrowed.

  “What else could it be?” She peaked up at him through her lashes.

  “I don’t know. Maybe her dad? A little?”

  Her heart turned over in her chest, swear to God. “Do you want me to miss you?”

  “I don’t want you to go anywhere. That way you don’t have to miss me.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Kyle

  * * *

  KYLE TURNED IN to Zane and Honor’s driveway. In the back seat, Dakota grinned. “Kale, are we going to Jubie’s?”

  “Just for a few minutes,” Kyle said.

  “How come?”

  “I want to talk to Jubie’s parents.”

  He parked and then lifted Dakota out of his car seat and onto the driveway. Dakota ran up to the front door and rang the bell. Jubie answered right away and jumped up and down with excitement when she saw it was Dakota standing there. She folded him into a hug. When Jubie had first arrived, she’d looked malnourished and sickly. Those attributes were nowhere to be seen in the vibrant six-year-old currently taking Dakota by the hand.

  “You wanna see the kitties?” she asked.

  Dakota squealed a happy yes in response and the two of them ran across the living room and up the stairs. Honor appeared, looking downright domestic with an apron over her jeans and sweater. “Kyle, what’s up?” She hugged him. “Come on in.”