Breathe

by Hazel Robinson

  Breathe

  Hazel Robinson

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Epilogue

  More from Hazel Robinson

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Copyright © 2020 Hazel Robinson.

  All Rights Reserved.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

  Hazel Robinson

  Cover design by Black Widow Design

  Editing by Dark Raven Edits

  Formatting by Irish Ink Publishing

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The Music pumps through my veins, and the beat dances on my skin. Friday night at The Crow Club is my favourite night of the week. I make my way to the bar, waving my hand to Justin for another drink while the next band sets up on stage.

  Camden Town is the nightlife centre, it’s filled with nightclubs, live bands performing in every other club and pub, and our place is no different; weekends are filled with singers and bands, queuing to get on stage at The Crow.

  “Here you go Evvie.” Justin slides my glass of vodka across the bar giving me a wink.

  “Thanks Justin. What do I owe ya?”

  “On the house baby girl.” His attention turns back to the blonde that has been drooling all over him the entire night. I love my brother, but he needs to learn to keep his dick in his pants! I really don’t understand the whole appeal. He thrives on the attention the ladies give him, ogling over his arms; filled with tattoo’s acting as though they have never seen an eyebrow bar or lip ring before -come on really?! I roll my eyes at him before turning my attention back to the crowd gathering at the front of the stage.

  My favourite band are on next ‘Raven’ and they have begged me to get up on stage with them again…. their lead singer Jensen started out just getting up on stage playing his guitar and singing about a year ago – he has the most amazing soulful voice; he’s a bit of an emo. He left town a year ago and then turned back up after a couple of months later with a full band, new image, and a fucking amazing song list – which Jensen writes.

  It's my first night off in ages and I relish in the fact I’m on this side of the bar because it’s busy as hell and the bodies are pushing and shoving in every direction, most of which are the huge fans Raven now have following them around to every gig.

  I jump, almost spilling my drink, when a hand curls around my waist. I can feel his faint breath in my ear causing my shoulders to arch up and the hairs on my neck to stand on end. “Hey jerk! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I spin around and stop in my tracks. Emerald green eyes are staring at me; Goosebumps flow up my arms, and I realise my initial anger is fading fast while I stare at him.

  “Sorry, I came over to talk to you and someone pushed me from behind.” The crooked smile on his face, however, leads me to believe otherwise. I stand back for a moment, taking him in. Tall, dark, and very handsome. His dark blond, scruffy hair falls over his face, the same emerald eyes that just gave me Goosebumps now wander up and down my body.

  “Yeah, well keep your fucking hands to yourself from now on please,” I huff and turn my attention back to the bar.

  “Ouch! That’s a little rude.” He pulls out the bar stool next to me.

  ‘Asshole!’ I mumble under my breath, patience slowly wearing thin. Why is it every single guy in this place thinks they can hit on me? Am I not allowed to just sit in peace and have a fucking drink?

  I yank the scrunchie off my wrist and pull my fire red curls into a ponytail, turning my attention back to him. “Well, some jerk just decided to not only try to put his hands on me, but now he won’t leave me alone to enjoy my drink!” I snap and turn my back on him.

  I grab my glass, annoyed he is still not getting the message and leaving me the fuck alone, and pour the burning vodka down my throat. I can hear the band setting up on stage behind me. Flipping my head, I stand up to walk away, but his hand grips my wrist. “Hey! Are you running away from me already?” His skin was hot against mine. A shiver of heat rushes up my spine. “Will you at least have a dance?”

  My head tips back as I try to think of the nicest way to tell him to leave me alone. “OK, listen, I’m not looking to ‘hook-up’ with you. I don’t know who you are, but I don’t just talk to any guy that thinks he has a shot. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to get ready to go on stage soon.”

  “Hey Evvie, is this guy bothering you?” Justin shoots me a worried look across the bar.

  Smiling, I wave my hand up to him. “No bother at all Justin, he was just leaving, actually.” I turn and give him a smile. “Now if you don’t mind letting go of my hand, I have to get ready.”

  “God, you’re full of yourself, aren’t you?” He lets go of my hand and brushes the hairs off his face. “For your information, I wasn’t looking to hook-up with you.” His face comes so close to mine that I can feel his breath on my neck. His hand coils around my neck and he pulls me closer until his lips touch mine, I don’t struggle against his hold, my body instantly melting with his touch. God, this guy is hot. His lips trail over mine; not kissing me but teasing me. I must admit for the smallest moment the room emptied and just the two of us stood in the dark empty room, the heat between us like fire and I close my eyes, listening to my heart pounding against my chest and the blood pumping through my veins.

  Suddenly, he lets go and walks off without even a goodbye! He leaves me hanging and really pissed off.

  “God, what a complete ass!” Who the hell does he think he is? Thinking he can treat me like that. “Hey asshole….” I scan the room, my eyes darting around looking for him, but he has ducked completely out of sight.

  I’m left stunned and speechless at the bar, my breathing heavy with both anger and disappointment. I’ve been hit on by plenty of guys in here, but none ever leaving me searching for more. I take another look around the room before I’m snapped out of it by Justin.

  “Evvie. You’re up next.” I take one last look around before making my way backstage, pushing through the crowd I feel a hand brush against my bare shoulder, it sends a shiver up my spine. Taking a deep breath, I hold the handle a moment. The feeling I’m been watched runs through my body, eyes almost burning into my back.

  The hairs on my arm stand on end with fear, it’s like a sixth sense, I quickly turn around, spinning on the heels on my boots, my eyes closed for a moment. Slowly opening them, I scan the room…. Nothing.

  With a shaky hand, I yank the door open, slamming it shut behind me. Taking another deep breath, I grab the mic and rush onto the stage; the band starts up, I’m both frustrated and on edge. I have a feeling in my gut someone is watching me, and it isn’t my mysterious arrogant almost kisser. His presence left me wanting more; this presence is leaving me fearful. I push all the feelings asi
de, smile to the crowd before letting the words flow from my lips.

  This is where I am free from all the shit that I try to forget.

  I close my eyes, singing the words to myself, and the crowd, my heart beats in time with the drums, I tell them all about my wounds, the rhythm speaks my pain.

  Memories flood through the lyrics; two years of forgetting come rushing back as a familiar feeling washes over me sending my head spiralling as my eyes shoot open.

  Horror sparks up in me.

  I scan the bar for Justin, but I can’t see him.

  I panic as I struggle to find the lyrics, my throat weak from the fear… my feet frozen in place as I come eye to eye with the monster from my dreams. My hands shake uncontrollably, heart beating heavy against my chest. I try to focus on the rest of the crowd, but I can’t take my eyes off Drake smiling at me.

  I can’t breathe properly; I just stare at him.

  Dressed in his usual clean-cut suit, hands dug deep into his trouser pockets, standing in the middle of everyone…. I try to look away, but he just stands there, smirking at me. What the hell is he doing here? My mind races at the sight of him, I stand racked with fear as the band notice I’ve stopped singing and just stand up on the stage staring.

  I turn to Jensen. “I need to get off the stage right now!” My whole-body shakes with fear, I almost beg him.

  He simply nods, worry written all over his face. The stage is the only place I am in complete control and I just lost my shit! In front of everyone – I froze like a scared little child, but that’s just what I am; taken back to that scared young girl.

  My palms clam up as he takes the microphone out of my hands and apologises to the crowd, taking another look but can’t see him, my head shoots from side to side checking the entire crowd and club for any sign of him…nothing.

  “Fuck.” I run backstage, my whole body shaking. I grab my handbag and taking deep breaths open the door, my eyes dart around looking for him, but there is no sign. I try to look around for Justin at the bar but can’t see him either, so I keep my head down and weave my way through the crowd, bumping straight into tall, dark, and arrogant from earlier on, my body shakes vigorously. I can’t breathe properly.

  “What the hell! Where are you going in such a hurry?” He holds both my arms still.

  Panic runs through my veins; my only reaction is to fight my way free. I try to pull out of his grip, but he only pulls me closer, chest to chest. I try pulling back but he keeps hold tight. “I need to go! Let go of me.” I begin to shake. I can’t stop my body shaking with panic. “I need to get out of here now!” I beg him.

  “Hey what is it? What’s wrong?” His hand curls around my waist. He pulls me closer, his hand reaching up to wipe the stray tear on my cheek.

  My heart pounds hard against my chest as I try to focus on his voice.

  “Just breathe slowly and tell me what’s wrong.” He looks at me concerned.

  “I can’t. I need to get out of here.”

  His hand cups my cheek, warm and gentle. “Just breathe,” he tells me calmingly, so much different from our earlier encounter, his voice soothing me, my shaking body slowing under his touch.

  I hold on tight to his t-shirt, staring up into his eyes, tears begin to build up, I try to keep them in, but his touch weakens me….my walls begin to break inside.

  He looks deep into my eyes for a moment; I swear he can read every fear I have. Something about his own eyes…they changed. “Let me help you Evvie.” He holds out his hand, I search the room for Justin, turning my attention back to him I nod my head.

  He takes my hand in his, holding tight, and we run out the front door onto the main street. I look behind us as we run for the train station, neither one of us speaking.

  He stops at the platform, checking his watch. “We have 10 minutes before the next train.”

  I simply stand leaning against the post and nod my head, my arms wrapped around myself for warmth.

  “You’re freezing, here.” He takes his jacket off and gently wraps it around my shoulders.

  I look up through tear-drenched eyes. “Thank you,” I say.

  “You ok now?” He stands next to me, digging his hands in his jean pockets.

  I shake my head. “No…” I don’t think I’ll ever be ok again.

  His arm wraps around my shoulder and he pulls me closer, resting his chin on my head as I let the tears flow free.

  Jumping on the train, we make the silent journey; I rest my head on his shoulder as he comforts the tears I can’t stop. I spent so long trying to make up for my past, hiding out and keeping myself safe, and now that Drake has finally caught up with me he will surely take me back. A sob escapes my lungs and his arm wraps around me tighter.

  Looking up at my saviour, I wipe my tears away. “I never got your name?” I ask.

  “Marcus,” He gives me a small smile. “We’re here.” Standing up, he holds his hand out before me.

  I take a deep raspy breath; slowly taking his hand and follow his lead into safety. After a short walk, we reach the tall apartment block. “It’s ok… you’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happen to you,” he whispers softly in my ear.

  What am I doing here? I question myself as I stand in the entranceway to this complete stranger’s apartment; a stranger that less than an hour ago was hitting on me and had been a jerk. I wrap my arms around myself as I examine the room I’m standing in. Such a wide-open space surrounds me, bookshelves all across one wall – pictures everywhere, the room opens into the kitchen divided by an island in the middle, its huge! In front of me sits a wall filled with glass, huge sliding doors leading out to the lit-up night sky, stars shining bright against the thick black sky.

  “Do you want anything to drink? Coffee? Beer?” His voice instantly making me hyper aware how close he is standing behind me. The hairs on my skin tingles.

  I watch him walking off to the kitchen, silently, my nerves still shaken by the brief visitor I had. Was he really there? Or was I just imagining it? I can’t tell anymore. After spending over two years running and hiding, you seem to picture their face everywhere.

  “Hey Evvie? You still with me?” he walks over and places his hand on my shoulder. I want to shudder at his touch, want to shrug him off, but it feels safe and warm. What is it with my feelings and this guy?

  “Yeah, sorry I’m fine, and yes I’d love a drink please – coffee if you don’t mind.” I smile at him for a moment, why the hell am I smiling? Come on Evvie wake the fuck up will ya? I tell myself.

  I watch as he walks back to the kitchen. He returns a few minutes later with two cups and places them on the coffee table in the middle of the room. I awkwardly sit on the soft grey couch, unsure where to put myself or how to act. I’m never this nervous or uneasy, my hands still a little clammy, and I can’t shake the fear that we were followed. I know we weren’t we ran as fast as we could to the train station; I held his hand so tight all the way, scared to let go – scared I’d be alone.

  “Do you want to talk about what happened? Why were you running and why were you so scared?” He sits on the chair opposite me, his leg crosses over his other, his hand rests on it.

  I take a moment, my eyes examining his sharp square jawline, the stubble around his face. He looks nothing like the clean-shaven deep blue-eyed Drake. Marcus carries himself a little confident, I play back our first encounter back in my head, but on the other hand he has a caring, almost heroic charm about him.

  He sits across from me relaxed, but I can see the sense of worry he carries; in his eyes I was a damsel in distress that he just rescued. I watch as his hands run through his dark blonde hair.

  In my 24 years, I’ve only ever been with one man…. The exact opposite of the man sitting in front of me now, that for some unknown reason gives me butterflies with the way his lips curls at the side when he smiles.

  I shake my head, averting my thoughts back to his question. Taking hold of the mug, my fingers wrapping around it for both
warmth and comfort. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

  “So, you don’t want to talk about the fact that I found you shaking like a leaf, crying with fear, and that you came home with me – a total stranger after shooting me down in the club?” He raises his eyebrow at me, his lip curls up at the same time, geez this guy is like next level fucking hot in so many ways. But he has a point.

  “Thank you for that, by the way.” I take a deep breath, looking over to the huge sliding doors next to me. “Why where you still hanging around, anyway?”

  He smiles at me for a moment, such a tempting smile, small but inviting. “Well I wanted to apologise.”

  “Apologise for what?”

  “For leaving you hanging the way I did…” he trails off, leaving me with a fluttering feeling in my stomach.

  That almost, very nearly kiss did leave me feeling a little too hot on the collar and yeah, I was pissed he left me hanging and for what he said. “Well, I think I was just as much as a jerk as you… I just get so pissed off that guys see a woman at the bar on her own and instantly think she’s available for the taking.”

  It’s true I deal with it all the time, from in front and behind the bar, so many nights while working I get comment after comment, some guys just don’t get it – not all damaged girls are after an escape.

  “What are you thinking about?” He draws me from my trance.

  “Eh…sorry I was just…”

  “I’m not that kind of guy you know?” He shifts in his seat, leaning forward.

  “And what type of guy are your referring to?” I push, intrigued by his comment.