By the Light of the Moon

by Cindy Caldwell

  “Oh, man,” Colin said, his eyes opening as Hanna wiped the soot from his face. “Let me help,” he said as he slowly came to, his voice groggy and uneven.

  “No, not a chance,” Hanna said as she helped him to a sitting position.

  “We called an ambulance from San Felipe, but you know it’ll take a while to get here. Just sit tight and let us get this out as quickly as we can.”

  As James left to help the other bomberos, the captain pulled up.

  “Why are you here out of uniform, son?” the captain said as he walked over to Colin. His smile faded as he looked from Colin to Hanna and back again, soot covering both of their faces and their clothes blackened.

  “Sorry, Captain. I was out for a run and saw the smoke on the way back. I’d forgotten to take my radio,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Colin,” the captain said, turning back to the blaze. “Let’s see what we can do about this one. You stay here and catch your breath. Ambulance is on its way.”

  It was all she could do to keep Colin away from the fire and sitting calmly as they waited for the ambulance to arrive. The tortured look on his face as he watched his friends battle the blaze in front of them tugged at her heart.

  “Colin, there’s nothing you can do now,” she said, reaching for his hand. “They’re doing all they can, and it has to take its course.”

  “That’s what’s killing me,” he said. “The one fire I should be fighting hardest, and I can’t do a thing.”

  Suddenly, all of the bomberos backed away from the fire, heading to the fire trucks, their water from their hoses turning into a dribble.

  “What’s happening?” she asked, wondering what would make them stop fighting the flames now, as they reached higher toward the sky.

  “Oh, no,” Colin groaned, his head sinking into his hands. “They’ve run out of water. Only one of our trucks works. They’ll have to go back to the station for more.”

  The bomberos packed up the water hoses as they prepared to drive back to the station for more water. As the captain coordinated the men, he turned to them and said, “Colin, you head with Javier back to the station to fill it up. The rest of us will stay here and see if we can get some hoses on it, or buckets at least.”

  “I’d really like to stay, Captain. Can you send someone else back?” Colin said, his eyes wide as he watched the fire.

  “No, son, you’re low man on the totem pole. You need to go back and fill up the engine,” the captain said over his shoulder as he and the other men left to see what hoses were available.

  Colin’s fists clenched as he turned away from the fire. Hanna watched as he slowly walked to the truck, kicking the tire before he climbed into the passenger seat.

  As the ambulance drove up and the EMT’s checked over their vital signs, Hanna couldn’t help but notice Colin, his eyes not leaving the blaze for one moment. He mechanically held out his arms when they asked him to, and tried to cooperate, but she watched as he mentally experienced every move with James and the other bomberos. She thought maybe he’d jump out of the truck and go, so she stayed as close by as she could.

  The relief on his face when the truck had returned, once again full of water, melted her heart. His concern was very moving, and she sensed that the torture of not being able to help was almost more than he could bear.

  She glanced at her home in flames, thinking of all of her stained glass melting and pictures of her family turning to ashes. Shaking the thought from her head, she turned to Colin.”

  “It’s just stuff, Colin. Things. Things that can be replaced. The important thing to me is that Violet, Regalo, you and I are all fine. And Nala, too,” she said as Nala appeared to lick Colin’s face. Shakily, he lifted a hand to pet her, his eyes still not leaving the blaze.

  As the time passed and they were checked by the EMT’s, the blaze slowed to a crawl and the bomberos got the upper hand. By the time the flames had subsided, most of the house was gone and the rest had been filled with smoke.

  “I’m so sorry, ma’am. We did as much as we could with our limited resources.” The captain held his helmet in his hand as he approached Hanna and Colin. His eyes were filled with sadness and Hanna felt he truly was devastated. “These fires are so incredibly frustrating. They move faster than anything I’ve ever seen around here, and start off with a bang.” He turned to glance at the smoldering embers, turning over the yellow helmet in his hands.

  Hanna stood and walked toward the captain, her knees still a bit wobbly. “I know you did everything you could, Captain. I’ve very grateful you’re here at all.”

  The captain nodded at her with a look of regret on his face, accepting the gratitude.

  “I know he feels as awful as I do,” Colin said as the crew climbed into the truck and drove away. “I’m sure you’ll have a cleanup crew here first thing in the morning, if I know the captain.”

  She smiled. “It’s nice to have such good friends around here. But there’s no way I can stay here tonight,” she said as she looked at the blackened remains of her house.

  “Well, you’ll just have to stay with me, then.” Colin stood, taking a moment to get his legs solidly underneath him as well.

  She looked at him, this tall Irishman she’d gotten to know, and wondered why she trusted him so completely. It was not her way to be trusting of people unless shown a reason to feel otherwise. But something about this man, with his green eyes and unruly hair, made her feel safe.

  She laughed out loud at that thought, as her house had just burned to the ground. But she knew she trusted him, fire aside. It wasn’t like he’d had anything to do with it; he’d only tried to help. She was grateful she’d followed her instinct when he asked her to leave the fire. He’d saved her life.

  “Thank you for the invitation. I believe I’ll take you up on it.”

  Chapter 18

  “This is a little bit awkward.” Colin opened the front door, letting Hanna enter his house in front of him. Nala brought up the rear, bounding into the kitchen and standing by her food bowl.

  Hanna walked into the kitchen, picking up Nala’s empty water bowl and filling it. “Why? I can stay somewhere else if you’d like.” She smiled and said, “You have secrets in here you don’t want anybody to know about?”

  “Why does everybody keep saying that?” he said, throwing his hat on the table. He shoved the chairs in roughly around the table and began to straighten the dishes he’d left on the counter, shoving them roughly into the sink.

  “Careful, you’ll break one.” Hanna gently took the plates from him and set them down on the counter. “I was teasing. I’m sorry if I struck a nerve.” She took his hand and turned him toward her.

  “I have no secrets here or anywhere, Hanna. Just a messy house, occupied by a bachelor and his dog.” He turned away as Nala pawed at her empty food bowl. Filling it and setting it on the floor, he opened the refrigerator and poured two Tecates into glasses, handing her one. “I think we both may need a beer.”

  She pulled out a bar stool for him, patting the cushion for him to sit. “How about I make us something to eat,” she said, picking up an avocado from a bowl full of them on the counter. “Anyone for guacamole?”

  Colin laughed. “My favorite, and those are just about to be too soft to use.”

  She rummaged through his kitchen for the needed supplies—onions, jalapenos, salt, pepper, garlic and hot sauce. As she chopped, she said, “You seem a little sensitive about the rumors. Do they bother you?”

  Colin took a big sip from his mug, the beer washing the soot from his throat. “I know people talk. I just wish they’d talk about someone else. I guess I can’t blame them. I’m pretty far from home.”

  “But you’re concerned about something,” she stated matter-of-factly.

  “I am. You seem pretty calm about what just happened.”

  Hanna stopped chopping for a moment. “I am very disappointed. Make no mistake about that. But Violet and Regalo ar
e safe. I can make more stained glass, although it was painful to watch them melt.”

  “You’re amazing,” Colin said. He watched her pick up the knife again and continue to chop. She was so peaceful, so calm. At the moment, he didn’t share her peacefulness.

  “But you lost your home. We could have lost our lives. I’m not so sure it was an accident,” Colin said, setting his mug back on the counter with a thud. “I haven’t wanted to say anything yet as I’m not positive. But I don’t think these fires are all coincidences.”

  Her knife stopped in mid-air as she quickly turned to look at him. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  His shoulders hunched as he absently flipped the bottle caps in his hand. “I’ve been back to both of the fire scenes before this one. In each instance, there were objects in the buildings that the owners were unaware of. Objects that shouldn’t have been there, and contained flammable liquids.”

  She stared at him for a moment, her mouth open in surprise. “How do you know that? That they were things that could have started a fire?”

  He looked up, meeting her gaze. He was silent for a moment as he wrestled with the decision that he had tried not to make, thought of the past he had tried to forget.

  She set the knife down on the counter and walked around to the side he was sitting on. He turned toward her, his eyes downcast. Gently, she lifted his chin, turning his face toward hers.

  He looked up into her dark, soulful eyes. He felt the weight of his story, the ache of missing his family and as it all rushed back in his mind, he felt his heart quicken.

  He’d been mystified and enamored with this woman since he’d met her and now, that feeling intensified. He stood and brushed her cheek, leaning in and meeting her gaze.

  She stood on her tiptoes, and his heart soared as her warm lips met his, lending comfort that he should have been giving to her. Her house had been lost, and here she was comforting and encouraging him. He closed his eyes, basking in the feel of her comforting touch.

  She took a step back, her eyes not leaving his. She held out her hand, inviting him into her heart. “Trust me,” she said.

  And he knew in that moment that he did trust her.

  It all came rushing out as if a dam had broken inside of him. He shared his love of Ireland, his close ties with his family and the pain in his heart that he could no longer see them. He spoke with joy of riding with his father as a volunteer firefighter and how proud he’d been to help his neighbors at his father’s side.

  His voice slowed as he described the devices his father brought home, showing him the damage and teaching him what to look for. His voice broke as he shared his father’s decision that he could no longer accompany him as the boys in the neighborhood had started to set fires for fun, hoping to be called to “the cause”. His eyes shone with pride as he described his father’s passion for respecting all people, of all backgrounds, and his refusal to take sides in a cause that was ripping their community apart.

  He stopped to take a breath and looked over at Hanna. She’d been silent throughout his rambling, giving him the space to speak, to feel, quietly finishing the guacamole and getting him another beer as needed.

  “That’s quite a story, Colin. You must miss your family very much.”

  “Aye, I do. Every day, I think of them. Every day, I wonder how they are.” His eyes fell again, and she reached for his hand.

  He took it, the warmth it spread within him a surprise. Holding her hand, he felt like he could continue, like he wanted to continue. Finally.

  “After the thugs who used to be my friends got a foothold in the community and everyone was frightened, they looked about for more recruits. I had experience with fires and knowledge that they wanted.” He stopped, searching for the words to explain what happened next.

  “Go on,” she said gently, her hand not leaving his, her eyes gentle.

  “They came to the house and threatened my father. Said they’d kill him if I didn’t take up with them and help. By then, it had nothing to do with any cause. They were just hooligans, thugs, threatening storekeepers and homeowners with arson if they didn’t pay for protection.”

  Hanna drew in a sharp breath. “How awful,” she said as she rested her hand on his knee.

  “I remember looking at my mother and my sister. They were terrified for us all. I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t put my father at risk.”

  Colin’s face fell into his hands as the memories grew and grew. He hadn’t wanted to remember. He hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Hanna’s eyes welled up as he continued.

  “I didn’t know what to do. I watched my mother and sister cry. I heard my father say it didn’t matter, there was nothing they could do. ‘Stand strong,’ he told me. As I went to bed that night, I watched out my bedroom window as an explosion ripped through the local school. The lads ran by in front of the house, yelling and cursing at my father. And calling my name.”

  Hanna sat back against the couch, the tears now spilling down her cheeks. Her voice was soft, and she spoke so quietly he barely heard her. “What did you do?”

  “I grabbed everything I had, which wasn’t much. Shoved it in a knapsack and ran downstairs. My mother was standing in the kitchen, crying. She looked up at me and held out a small purse. It was all the money she had. She hugged me, and I left.”

  “Oh,” she said, her breath rushing out of her, her face buried in her hands. “How could you bear it?”

  “I had no choice, Hanna. If I’d stayed, I’d have had to become one of them or risked my father’s life. It was the only thing I could think of to save my family.”

  “Are they all right?”

  “Yes. The thugs were after them for a bit, but they gave up after they realized I had gone for good. I’ve only heard through relatives. But I know they’re all right.”

  “I’m shocked that these kinds of things happen. I don’t even know what to say.”

  “Well, that’s the problem, love. I do know that these things happen, and I’m afraid it’s happening right here. In our hometown.”

  Chapter 19

  The guacamole didn’t last long after Hanna finished making it. Grabbing two more beers and a bowl of chips, she’d carried it all out onto the patio, hoping some fresh air would do them good. A shower was very appealing, but she decided she could wait. They were both still sooty from the day’s events, but Colin’s outburst had come as a bit of a surprise, and she wasn’t ready to part with him quite yet. Colin’s description of leaving his home, his family, had left her exhausted, both of them, it seemed, and they found themselves falling silent.

  As the sun set behind them over the mountains, they watched the sky turn pink, then purple, as the light disappeared and the moon rose over the horizon. The waves lapped gently on the shore, the tide in close.

  The peaceful moment, by the light of the moon, seemed to bring him around with a renewed energy. She watched as he slowly came back into the present, leaving the past behind for now.

  He took a chip from the bowl and scraped the last of the guacamole from the bowl. He rubbed his hand over his still-sooty face. “I’m sorry about all of that, Hanna. Seems once I started, I couldn’t stop.”

  “I’m not sorry at all,” she said. “I knew there was something you were keeping from me. I’m honored that you chose to tell me.”

  “I don’t think I had a choice, now, did I?” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, seeming surprised that it was black from soot.

  Startled, she stood and took the empty bowls in the house. “What do you mean, you didn’t have a choice?”

  He came up behind her and she closed her eyes as he wrapped his hands around her waist, his chest against her back. “You told me to trust you. And I do. I was surprised to find that out.”

  Her breath quickened as she felt his warmth around her. “I’m so glad you decided to trust me. As I trusted you earlier.”

  Her eyes flew opened as he laughed in her ear. “I think we probably should wash up.
” He held up his hand with black soot on it and ran a quick finger down her cheek. “You’re a little dirty. I probably look the same.” He pulled her over in front of the mirror in the hallways and they both burst into laughter.

  “Why didn’t you tell me I look like a raccoon?” she said.

  “We both washed our hands, at least. And I think you look beautiful.”

  Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she turned back toward the kitchen. “I don’t have any clothes. I think I’ll take a shower and borrow some of yours if that’s all right. I can ask Megan for a loan tomorrow.”

  “Sure, no problem at all. Follow me,” he said as he led her toward the guest room and bathroom. On the way, he grabbed some clothes and clean towels. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be in the other room getting cleaned up, too.”

  “Thank you,” she said as she shut the door. She undressed quickly, sorry only that her red cowboy boots were ruined, and put her clothes in the trash can. Standing under the shower, she turned it on as hot as she could stand, washing away the events of the day.

  She thought of the fire, of her horses, of Colin’s confession. Everything was a jumble in her mind, and she wasn’t sure what he had meant about the danger of the fires. Did he believe they had been set on purpose? By an arsonist? She just couldn’t imagine anyone doing that.

  She decided to ask him more about it later, and for now to just let the steaming water wash it all away.

  Hanna was still in the shower when Colin came out into the living room, the soot removed and wearing a clean t-shirt and jeans. He stood on the patio near the ocean and looked up at the stars, wondering what had made him tell Hanna about his family. It was something he hadn’t felt before, like a need for her to know him better, to understand. Whatever it had been, it was done now. No taking it back.

  He gathered an armful of kindling and logs from the stack on the side of the house. A bit of a chill was in the air and he decided to light a fire in the big kiva in the side of his living room. When he had built the house, he’d hired the best fireplace builder in the South Campos. He was very specific about what he wanted, and Wes, the builder, had done his best work ever.