Star-Spangled Secret

by Caroline Lee

  “I, uh... I’ve been in the army. On that day, when you said I’d never amount to anything, I drove as far as I could and found a recruiter—”

  “No,” Dad interrupted. “I said you’d never amount to anything if you kept on the way you were. You were full of so much anger, son. We knew you needed an outlet or you’d end up back in jail.”

  Tripp nodded in agreement. “And I was angry you said that. I was angry all the time then.”

  “Are you still?” Dad asked quietly.

  “Yeah, I am,” Tripp admitted. “But I have enough control now, and I’ve learned the techniques I need to keep that anger from running my life the way it used to.”

  Dad opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again and cleared his throat instead. After a few moments of silence, he reached for his coffee mug, and said quietly, “I’m glad. I’m proud of you, and your mother would be too.”

  Tripp nodded, knowing those were the words he’d longed so much to hear for so long, but without Mom there, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it now.

  “So, the army, huh?”

  “Yes, sir. Right out of basic I decided I wanted to be a specialist, and so I applied for EOD training.”

  Dad’s brows went up, impressed. “Explosive Ordnance Disposal? That’s right up your alley, huh? Did they know that when they let you in?”

  Tripp had always loved blowing stuff up. He and his older brother Cooper used to spend hours plinking at cans or setting off bottle rockets. But whereas Coop had been careful, Tripp had been reckless. He’d always been reckless. The angrier he got, the more noise he wanted to make. He’d grown up on his father’s ancestral property, where there had been no one nearby to mind his explosions. But as he’d gotten older, his explosions had gotten bigger and had been impossible to ignore. The police were called on several occasions, and he’d been arrested a few times, but nothing had stuck.

  Then, when he’d been seventeen, he went to a neighbor’s junk yard and rigged a device, which had sent an old SUV through the wall of an abandoned house. No one had been hurt, and the lawyer his parents had hired had somehow gotten his charges dropped down to a misdemeanor destruction of property, instead of the explosive-based felony he’d deserved.

  But it had still landed him in juvenile detention.

  He’d gotten out at twenty, still angry, still itching to blow stuff up. And he’d come home to an explosive relationship with his family.

  During the year he’d stuck around, Alyssa had been the best part of his life.

  Still, now he had to smile as he agreed with his father’s comment.

  “I needed a security clearance, and I wouldn’t have gotten that with a felony on my record. But thanks to you and Mom, I didn’t have to worry about it. Also, I think I really impressed the sergeant with some of my”—he cleared his throat—“practical knowledge. He made sure I got in, even though I wasn’t the cleanest-cut of the applicants.” His lips twitched ruefully. “I’ll admit I really busted my butt studying for the exam, and I definitely didn’t pass with high marks. But I aced the practical.”

  Dad was smiling now. “You studied? For a test?”

  Tripp shrugged. “It meant I got to blow stuff up and maybe take out some bad guys while I did it. Heck yes, I studied.”

  “So you did a tour?”

  “Yes, sir. Two tours in Afghanistan.” He straightened in his seat. “I made corporal before I decided I needed to come home and make peace with my past.”

  “Sir, huh?” Dad sipped from his coffee mug as he studied Tripp. “Sounds like the army was exactly what you needed. They gave you the chance to blow stuff up, but taught you how to control it, too.”

  Leave it to Dad to cut right to the chase. Tripp nodded. “When I realized that, I promised myself I would come home and tell you and Mom that I’d been wrong.” This was the hardest part for him to admit. “You tried to impose all those rules on me, and then there was Kenneth, doing exactly what you wanted and more. I wasn’t like him, I wasn’t who you wanted me to be, and that made me even more angry. It’s taken me years, but I realized, as much as I hated that control, it’s what I’d always needed.”

  Dad nodded again. “That’s what your mother and I were trying to do. We never wanted to change you, Wil. But we could see that, if you didn’t learn some control, you were going to burn yourself out. When you left that day, I was sure that’s what was happening. I was sure you were going out into the world to burn up.”

  There wasn’t anything more he could say except, “I’m sorry.”

  Dad cleared his throat. “We’ve both done some stupid stuff in the past; I think we can agree on that. I’m not sure how long you’re back in town for, but it would mean a lot to me if you’d stay here. Or at least, come visit me.”

  Tripp took a deep breath. “I’m staying at one of the hotels in town. If you’re willing to have me, I think...I think I’d very much like to stay here with you.”

  Dad nodded, but Tripp wasn’t done.

  “And if you’re willing, I’d like to hear all about the family. I know Kenneth is married, but how are Marybeth and Coop doing? And I know it’ll be really hard, but...I’d like to hear about Mom. About what happened. I’ve missed out on so much, and I know it’s my own fault, but I’d really like to know.”

  Dad reached across the table and covered Tripp’s hand with his own. “I’d like that, son.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  He was here!

  Tripp was here in Quinn Valley, and Alyssa wasn’t sure what to do, or even how to feel about it. She’d long ago given up hope he’d magically reappear, and as a result, had knuckled down and gotten on with her life. But he was here, and she knew she had to tell him about Jeremiah.

  Before somebody else made the connection.

  She had to be the one to tell him, though she wasn’t sure how. That day in the coffee shop, she’d frozen up and hugged the knowledge of her son’s existence to her heart. And then, realizing he didn’t know about his mom took precedence.

  She hadn’t been sure why Tripp was there, or what he was planning, but once she’d heard about his accomplishments, she’d known, even if he didn’t stick around, he’d changed and had become a responsible man.

  A man who deserved to know about his son.

  But how to tell him!

  So many times over the last few days, Alyssa had picked up the phone to call Tripp’s father’s house. But each time, something had interrupted her: Mom needing her help with something, or Jeremiah having another meltdown...or just plain cowardice on her part.

  Once, she’d stopped in front of the Weston house on her way home from work, her car idling at the curb while she stared at the front door, willing him to come out. There had been no cars in the driveway, and she was debating knocking on the door, but then her phone rang. Jeremiah’s preschool director had been on the other end of the line, insisting she go pick him up immediately after a particularly violent tantrum.

  She’d sighed and put the car in drive. The work of a single mother never allowed any time for breaks.

  You need a partner. That day, as it was now, her sister’s words ran through her head. Seven years ago, she would have said Tripp Weston couldn’t be a reliable or even an ideal partner.

  But now? Had he changed enough for her to consider allowing him to be in Jeremiah’s life? In her life?

  She couldn’t make that decision with the little information she had now, but whatever the future held, Tripp deserved to at least know he had a son.

  Four days after that disconcerting meeting at the coffee shop, Alyssa was smiling and laughing with her two cousins at the office. This cozy exam room was her favorite space inside the building, its walls covered with the sweet photos of babies she’d helped bring into the world, as well as product samples and demo Lollie Wraps, so new mamas could practice babywearing. It was one of her favorite parts of the job, helping parents adjust to this new little person in their lives, and Alyssa would be forever grate
ful to Robyn for giving her the chance.

  Robyn was the midwife Alyssa worked for. Laboring mamas didn’t always opt for the presence of a doula, but Robyn had made Alyssa her partner, so they went to each birth as a team. Although Alyssa didn’t have the certifications and schooling Robyn did, she had enough practical experience to be helpful. And if nothing else, she was there to support the laboring mama and Robyn, as they did all the hard work.

  Today, their client was their mutual cousin Roxanne. Roxie had married Ciran last year, and was due to have their first child any day now.

  “Thank goodness!” Roxie exclaimed after Robyn had predicted as much. “I don’t think I can last much longer. I’ve already started wobbling around in flip-flops at work, because I can’t reach my feet to put on real shoes.” She sat up and adjusted the cute maternity dress she wore. “At the beginning, I really counted on Rachel to take up my slack, since I was puking my guts up. Do you know how much of a bummer it is to have morning sickness, when your husband makes amazing tacos?”

  Laughing, Robyn nodded as she washed her hands. “I can only imagine! If I were married to Ciran, I’d be eating his tacos at least twice a day, every day!”

  “And his sopapillas!” Alyssa chimed in.

  “Oh my gosh, yes!” Roxie groaned in pleasure. “Thank goodness I’m feeling well enough now to eat all that yumminess again. Although Ciran still insists I eat salads for my health.” She rolled her eyes.

  Robyn crossed her arms and propped her hip against the counter. “And you know I approve of that.” Since she was always nagging Roxie about getting enough vitamins for the baby, she changed the subject. “Is Rachel doing alright?”

  Roxie shrugged. “All I know is, she’s already half as big as I am, and only a few months along.”

  Alyssa giggled. “You should’ve seen Andrew’s face when he told the family they were having triplets. Triplets! Mom nearly fainted with excitement. I told Rachel twins run in the Quinn family, but where the heck did triplets come from?”

  Robyn chuckled and rolled her eyes. “They are in for such a wild ride.”

  “At least Andrew’s the oldest of five, but Rachel’s an only child!” Alyssa snickered. “Triplets!”

  “Well…” Roxie shrugged. “It’s a Quinn family tradition to have five kids, right?” She patted her belly “We’re doing things the old-fashioned way, one at a time... I guess Andrew and Rachel just decided to get right to it!”

  Alyssa raised her eyebrows and leaned in. “Speaking of which, you want to know something interesting?”

  Both her cousins leaned forward, eager smiles on their face.

  Alyssa lowered her voice. “You know Jonathan proposed to Heather, right?”

  Roxanne and Robyn nodded eagerly.

  “They’re thinking about a super-simple wedding this summer, to foil the tabloids. But…they’re already talking about more kids.”

  “Babies?” gasped Robyn.

  “No,“ Alyssa said with satisfaction. “They’re talking about fostering. After the wedding, of course. For some reason, I honestly think they both prefer teenagers.”

  The three cousins stared at each other, eyes wide for a moment, before bursting into laughter.

  “Teenagers?” Roxie groaned theatrically. “I remember what it was like to be a teenager! Thank goodness we’ve got another dozen years before I have to worry about that!” She grinned and rubbed her stomach once more.

  The three of them were still giggling when Alyssa’s phone buzzed in the pocket of her scrubs. Knowing Jeremiah’s propensity for getting into trouble at school, she sighed and pulled it out.

  But it was a text, from a number she didn’t recognize.

  Alyssa? she read.

  Her phone was technically a work phone. Although she used it for personal business, the number was listed on Robyn’s website. So it wasn’t uncommon to get calls or texts from people she didn’t know, although usually they contacted Robyn first.

  Who is this? she texted in reply

  The answer came back immediately: Wil.

  Then after a short pause, another message popped up. Sorry, it’s Tripp. Dad’s been calling me Wil, and I guess it just stuck.

  Alyssa’s heart began to thump. All this time, she’d been wondering how to reach him, and he’d found her instead. She forced a smile and made her excuses to her cousins, then slipped out of the office.

  She wanted to ask, “What have you been doing for the last four days? How come you took your sweet time tracking me down?” but knew he hadn’t come back to Idaho for her. He’d come back for his family, and they were most important.

  Instead, her fingers flew as she typed, You got my number off the site?

  Again, his responses came quickly, one after the other.

  Yeah. I guess all this time, I could have just searched the internet for your name and gotten contact info. I’m sorry I didn’t.

  I really and truly assumed all this time you were married and happy and had moved on and everything.

  He’d said that before. Alyssa supposed it was a little flattering, that he thought she would’ve been “snatched up” so quickly. But he was wrong if he thought she would have even been a little interested in finding love again so soon after he’d left.

  I don’t have to be married to be happy, she typed.

  Yeah. I’m sorry about that too, he replied

  Her lips twitched, imagining his wry sense of humor as he typed that out. She ducked around the back hall, braced her shoulders against the wall, and grinned again as she teased him back. You’ve been doing a lot of apologizing.

  Yeah, I have. But I think it’s well deserved.

  She was nodding as she replied. Yeah, you’re right.

  His reply took a little bit longer, as if he were hesitating. I noticed you’ve never actually said you forgive me.

  Alyssa took a deep breath. She had forgiven him, but all these apologies were nice to hear as well. Her fingers flew across the screen as she tried to explain.

  Well, you did run off without so much as a goodbye just when I needed you most. I forgave you for that a long time ago, back when I figured out you weren’t coming back and I was just hurting myself by holding on to that grudge.

  So I guess I can say that I’ve forgiven you, but I’m not sure what will happen in the future.

  The first half of his reply was immediate.

  Now that I’m back in town, I don’t have any intention of leaving.

  After a few moments, while she thought of the last message he’d sent and how she felt about it, another text showed on her screen.

  Dad and I have spent the last few days talking about job options, and I’m thinking about applying to some of the mining companies east of here. Cooper says those places and construction companies, are always looking for people who know how to blow stuff up safely.

  That was...just what she needed to hear, judging by the way a heavy load seemed to lift from her heart. Not only was he planning on staying, but he was thinking seriously about a long-term steady job. That wasn’t the Tripp she’d originally fallen in love with.

  This Tripp was so much better.

  Better for her, and better, ultimately, for Jeremiah, right?

  But then, before she could tell him what he needed to hear, a new message popped up.

  Wait, what did you mean when you said just when you needed me most? What’s wrong? Or, what was wrong then?

  Well, Alyssa guessed it must be time. She straightened, and took a deep breath, before carefully typing the words she knew would change all of their lives.

  I think we’ve got a lot to talk about, but I don’t want to do it over text.

  I was thinking the exact same thing. Can I take you out to dinner?

  Yes, it would be smarter to be face-to-face when she told him he had a son. I think that would be a good idea.

  Great! Dinner tonight? Tomorrow?

  Part of her wanted to get this over with, but the other part wanted one last day of n
ormalcy. Tomorrow night. Quinn’s at 6?

  Perfect!

  She sent him a smiley face. Then: I hope you’re enjoying your time with your father. Should I call you Wil?

  His reply wasn’t immediate this time, and once it finally came through, the length of the message told her why. That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. But you know what..? Yes. Tripp was who I used to be, and I’ll admit I like the idea of becoming someone else. Dad always called me Wil, and I think it might just stick.

  Can I call you Wilfred when I’m irritated at you? Despite the butterflies in her stomach, Alyssa grinned at the memory of teasing him the same way when they’d been younger.

  And just like back then, Tripp answered the same way. No thank you! It’s a horrible name, and if I ever have a son, he’s darn well not going to be Wilfred Weston the Fourth!

  No, he’s not.

  After their dinner date, everything would change, wouldn’t it? She took a deep breath, and typed out, I’ll see you tomorrow, Wil.

  I’m really looking forward to it, Lyssa.

  The old nickname sent a flutter through her heart to match the flutters in her stomach. She clicked off the phone and shoved it back into her pocket.

  Tomorrow evening, everything would change.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Tripp was whistling—actually whistling—as he strolled down Main Street. When he realized it, he clamped his lips together and glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed.

  Whistling? If any of his squad could see him now, this excited over a date...

  He shook his head ruefully and admitted to himself he was excited.

  In fact, since yesterday’s text conversation with Alyssa, he felt as if he’d been walking on air. Not because much had been decided, but because she’d listened to and accepted his apology. It was almost as if she was willing to let the past stay in the past and look towards the future.

  She herself had said she didn’t know what the future would bring, which Tripp took to mean she was willing to consider a future. That was some of the best news he’d heard in a while.