Reign of the Goddess

by Clara Hartley

  Contents

  Prologue

  1. Cara

  2. Liam

  3. Cara

  4. Cara

  5. Cara

  6. Devon

  7. Cara

  8. Theo

  9. Cara

  10. Cara

  11. Cara

  12. Cara

  13. Cara

  14. Devon

  15. Cara

  16. Cara

  17. Hansel

  18. Cara

  Epilogue

  Afterword

  Also by Clara Hartley

  Prologue

  A thousand years ago

  The sun rose over the horizon of the broken world. Apollo took in a deep breath. As he sighed, his breath formed mist in the icy air. The world was dying, and the Gods needed a way to see that it was fixed.

  His time drew near.

  He knew what he had to do to keep the realms intact. If he refused to sacrifice himself, Haven would collapse, turning to nothing and becoming one with the cosmos.

  He turned to his closest companion. Nyx had been with his trusted friend for as long as his immortal mind could remember. She had hair as dark as night. Her skin was a creamy white, soft and just like snow. She took her hand in his as her eyes searched across the distance. Dust billowed upward from the barren expanse. The world was disintegrating, becoming nothing. The gods themselves were going to suffer the same fate if things weren’t resolved quickly. Man, animal, flora, and all living things—they would perish too if the plan didn’t come to pass.

  Nyx glanced at him, thick eyelashes fluttering over her moon-like eyes. “Zeus thanks you for your decision. You won’t have to do this forever, old friend.”

  “I’m not sure when I will see you again.” Apollo ran his thumb across Nyx’s smooth hand.

  “I will be with you,” Nyx replied. “In spirit. Us gods will keep the balance as you will. I’m just sad that your conscience cannot stay like ours will.”

  “Such is the fate of the anchor.” Apollo’s shoulders slumped as he accepted his fate.

  He turned from Nyx’s alluring face, redirecting his attention to the shattering landscape. The gods had taken too much from the world in their bid for power. People had died in swaths, crippled by the unsustainable way they’d lived. Now, to do right by their mistakes, the gods had to give themselves up, paying for their sins. They would sacrifice their bodies and use their essence to fuel a new world.

  A better world.

  One that didn’t have to die.

  “This place looks so different now,” Nyx said. Gently, she squeezed Apollo’s hand. “I miss what we’ve been. And hate what we’ve become. What we will be…”

  “Immortals without bodies.” Apollo sensed fear from Nyx. For the first time, the gods were afraid. What they were about to do was a dive into the unknown, and omnipotent beings hated that. They were supposed to know and see all.

  “You will have a new body as the anchor.”

  Apollo tensed. “Yes, but it will be torture to see all things and be unable to interact with them. I’ll be fully conscious, seeing and intermingling and perhaps losing myself in the process. The rest of you, however, will be in deep slumber. The thousands of years you’re gone? You probably won’t be able to remember it.” He tried relaxing his shoulders, but the tension in his chest refused to abate. “It will be a difficult experience for me.”

  “I’m sorry. But you’re the best option for what we have planned. You must understand that.” Nyx’s hands grew colder. As the god of sun, Apollo hated chilling temperatures. At least with his sacrifice, he knew that the world would be bathed in his warmth. There would be life again. Haven would receive the beauty that the gods had so foolishly taken away.

  “I don’t need pity,” Apollo said. “I think about the times we’ve had. The joy and pain and experiences we wrought. It was glorious and it lights my resolve.”

  “Is that so?” Nyx let him go. She thought he was lying. Apollo, too, didn’t believe himself completely.

  Watching beautiful things end was always painful. It didn’t matter how amazing those experiences had been.

  “Are you ready?” Nyx asked.

  “Yes,” Apollo lied. “Let us meet the others and finish this.”

  Nyx nodded. She spun around then strode away from Apollo, heading toward their meeting point. Her feet dragged against the dusty ground.

  Dread.

  Apollo looked at his palm. He’d walked across Haven for many years, and all that time, he’d taken his body for granted. The gods had promised that this arrangement would be temporary, that it would only end once the world had re-balanced and Haven was ripe for them to return. But it seemed like an eternity before he could come back.

  He’d miss the smell of the wind.

  The sound of crashing waves.

  Most of all, he’d miss spending time with his good friend, Nyx.

  It would be ages before he’d meet her again.

  He watched her amble away, her shoulders straight, her posture tense, as if she were readying for battle. Apollo had seen wars. The gods used to start them for fun. And yet, despite how much death and how many clashes he’d faced, nothing could prepare him for what he’d have to put himself through today.

  Together with Nyx, he stopped inside an arrangement of dust-covered pillars. Thunder sounded in the air, a by-product of Zeus’s raging emotions. Apollo tasted the bitterness of dust on his dry tongue.

  “Welcome,” Zeus said.

  The willing gods had awaited Apollo’s and Nyx’s arrival. Apollo stopped in the middle of the ten of them. Their eyes fell on him. The atmosphere dripped with the same unrest that had accompanied him this whole day.

  The time for dallying had ended, and the dawn of a new age had just begun.

  “Thank you for your sacrifice,” Nyx said. Apollo saw sorrow in her dimming eyes. “I will miss you.”

  Apollo dulled his emotions. Not being able to feel anything made things easier. “Let us begin,” he said.

  He spread his hands, then willed himself to transform into the entity that would save Haven.

  Into the Chiasma.

  One

  Cara

  Present Day

  I followed the little girl around as we trekked across the riverbed. I lived as a passenger in my own body, trapped inside myself and having no control over my actions. A butterfly flew past her, its wings a plethora of resplendent shades. She reached out and crushed the poor little creature. Once the insect touched my hand, it crumbled, turning into dust that vanished into the wind.

  “Apollo, Apollo, Apollo,” the girl said. She had a thing for talking. I couldn’t tell whether she was talking to herself or me. “The name sounds so familiar. Memories are coming back now. Hmm.”

  After we’d crossed the riverbed and moved deeper into the forest, the girl found an arrangement of rocks that jutted out from the ground. Like a child playing a self-invented game, she hopped from one to another. Fire came from the soles of her feet as she played. The flames danced past the grass, sucking life out of it as she flitted across the landscape. Death followed everywhere she went.

  “I don’t think I’m a little girl at all,” she said. “I think I’m him.”

  Him?

  “Apollo,” the girl said. I wasn’t sure if she’d heard my mental question.

  I bore the god of sun in my body?

  “Did you hear about the instructions from Mother Nyx?” she continued. “I don’t think she’s really a mother, though she really likes to nag. She’s more of a friend. It’s good to see her again. I don’t think the lack of her body is treating her very well. She looks tired. Translucent. She used to have skin, you know? Pretty, smooth skin.” S
he paused in front of a riverbed. Squinting, she looked at her reflection. “Wait a minute, why do I know about her so well?” The girl, or Apollo—whatever this strange power was—scratched her chin. “I’m not myself.”

  I had questions to ask the little girl, but when I tried to move my mouth, I couldn’t. I tried to think my queries out, but they hit a mental wall. Either that, or the entity inside me heard them, deciding to brush them aside rather than acknowledge them.

  “Okay,” she said. “I’m bored. It’s time to get to work.”

  In an instant, wings shot out from her back and she leapt into the sky. My mind couldn’t keep up with her actions. She might talk like a child, but she moved with the experience of an old goddess. At supernatural speeds, the girl took me across the landscape of Haven. My surroundings whirred by me in a blur. Oceans. Grasslands. Deserts. I had no idea that Haven was this large. I’d been too caught up with the Sanctuary and its surroundings, blinded to just how massive this world was.

  I had no time to appreciate the view, however. The entity tucked my crimson wings toward my back and plunged toward the ground. She reopened them right before my body smacked against the sandy ground beneath me.

  Together with her, I scanned where we’d landed. We had found ourselves on an island. The air smelled salty, the sunlight was blinding, and tropical leaves stirred. We stood on a beach. The girl lifted her hand, covering her eyes from the glare of the sun. “Seems like a fun place to camp,” she said. “Wonder if they’re tanning while they wait.”

  Who were they?

  The tropical trees proved too obstructive for flying, and so the little girl strode past them, keeping close to the ground. I followed her—what other choice did I have? —and got sand stuck between my toes. It was annoying how I couldn’t control anything she did but suffered the consequences of every action she carried out. What if she decided to toss herself in a fire? I wouldn’t put it past her.

  The entity was crazy.

  Should I even be calling it “her”? She did say something about being Apollo.

  We stopped in front of an encampment, filled with soldiers that marched about. It was rimmed by wooden fences. The entity backed herself into a fence before carefully peeking over it to inspect her surroundings. The soldiers slept in tents. Ares’s battle flag had been put up everywhere. Was this where my parents hid as they waited for the war to escalate?

  I saw a cauldron bubbling in the middle of the encampment. The scent that wafted from it caused my stomach to churn. I didn’t need to eat, but old habits died hard, and I salivated at the thought of wolfing down that stew.

  “I don’t even know why I’m sneaking about,” she said. “There’s no need.” She giggled, amusing herself with her own observations. “None of these people stand a chance. Not even him.” She glanced at a figure I recognized all too well.

  Deimos.

  My brother and the god of dread.

  The moment our eyes locked, he stilled. Recognition took longer to sink into him, but once he understood what was happening, his expression changed into one of pure panic. The goddesses were searching for me, and so were my parents. After what I’d done, I assumed that all of Haven wanted to see me dead and my head on a pike.

  “C-Cara!” he shouted.

  The entity gave Deimos a little finger wave. She raised a hand, and dark powers shot from her palm. It zipped past the air and hit Deimos squarely in the chest. Deimos’s eyes filled with pure hatred. He turned to a leather-clad vassal who was completely clueless about what was happening and shot one of his floating rocks through the vassal’s chest.

  Oh goddesses.

  Not again.

  This was going to be another massacre. I wasn’t sure if my weak heart could withstand any more. I just wanted this nightmare to end. The entity leapt across the encampment and landed in front of the pot of stew. She grabbed the ladle that was propped at its side, then scooped up a thick spoonful of the tomato-scented mixture. Soldiers ran up to her as the girl ate.

  She fought while barely giving the soldiers any of her attention. She flicked two fingers back and forth. More dark magic danced from her fingertips, wrapping around her struggling victims. At once, they began mistaking friends as foes.

  Please make this stop.

  “I’m taking it easy,” she said, smacking her lips. “No need to hurry. We’ll get what we need in a bit.”

  A man speared another through the neck.

  The blood that spilled from his throat was the same color as the stew we dined on. I didn’t want to eat any more. The horrors made me want to puke. But the entity forced me through our meal anyway.

  “Isn’t this delicious?” She cackled then licked the bottom of the ladle before reaching for another scoop. “Food is best when accompanied by some entertainment.”

  Screams surrounded me, like songs coming from dying men. More and more dark tendrils whipped from the girl. Blood sprayed everywhere, and dead bodies fell to the ground.

  Death.

  Death everywhere.

  Screaming men and women, all covered with blood and the remnants of their own guts. I didn’t want to look, but the entity made me. She made me kill even though the thought absolutely disgusted me.

  This nightmare needed to end soon.

  Two

  Liam

  Aphrodite ran her hand across the rim of her chalice. She sat across from Liam, who stood at attention in the study tent. A desk separated them. Aphrodite displayed her war helmet at the back of the tent. It sat on a pillar, its spiked edges looking as deadly as the goddess herself. The interior of the tent was dimly lit with magical candles that burned pink. Aphrodite looked resplendent in war gear. The guard bracers she wore gave her an edged appearance that contradicted her role as the goddess of love. In her, Liam saw remnants of Cara. They shared the same nose. Same jaw line.

  But Aphrodite was nothing like his lover.

  He was so afraid that he’d never find Cara again. He missed her far too much. He’d spent his last two nights awake, tossing and turning as he worried about Cara.

  Two days ago, Liam had heard the news of Cara from his fellow vassals. He didn’t care that she’d injured him as she did during the battle. He was certain that she hadn’t done it on purpose.

  All he wanted to do was to find her. To hug her and tell her that all was fine. That she didn’t have to blame herself.

  “This isn’t what I’m here to talk about,” Liam said, continuing the line of conversation Aphrodite had started. “We need to give Cara another chance.”

  Aphrodite blew a breath out of her nose. She set the chalice down, using her pinky to cushion its landing. “This isn’t my decision to make, dear Liam.”

  Liam ran his fingers over his eyebrows. “If you change your mind, perhaps the goddesses might be swayed. You are one side of the war, after all.”

  “They hate me.” Her gaze grew sharp, cutting through him. “They give me this island as an excuse for peace, when it is merely a way to laugh at our lack of power. Whether I care for Cara or not is a moot point.”

  “Do you care for her?”

  Aphrodite licked her lips and cocked her head. “No.”

  The answer was so cold. He remembered the way Cara had placed so much hope on wanting Aphrodite to like her. She wanted a mother’s love, and all she’d received in return was painful betrayal. “She is your kin. She wanted your love and what you’d given Deimos. As a daughter, was that too much to ask for?” Fenrir must have sensed Liam’s animosity for Aphrodite. On the couch at the left of the tent, it jumped up and bared its teeth, growling at the goddess. Liam shushed the pet. He was only here for discussions. Not to wage war. Even though he wished to strangle the woman before him.

  Aphrodite waved her hand in front of her face, swatting away Liam’s comment like she might a fly. “Love is not something that should be forced. It’s the most beautiful when it comes naturally. Don’t you think it feels false, watered down, when you coerce it?” Aphrodite’s gaz
e darted to the wolfdog. “Like your relationship with Fenrir. Do you think the dog actually loves you?”

  Liam’s heart sank. He knew that his relationship with the creature was Cara’s doing. He’d grown to love his pet during their experiences together, but he knew that their bond had started with magic and a lie. That was something he’d have to live with. He appreciated the time he had with the wolfdog and the support it gave him. He couldn’t imagine life without Fenrir anymore, and so he had to accept the story of how they’d begun.

  Aphrodite narrowed her eyes. “The falsehoods. It’s a worrying feeling, isn’t it? That’s why I can’t love Cara. I don’t care for her at all. I felt love when my eyes first fell on Deimos. He came from my womb. He is my son. Cara? Merely an experiment.”

  Liam resisted the urge to draw his dagger and throw it at the goddess. “She is much more than that.” Cara meant the world to him, and now that she had gone, he thought he missed a part of his soul. The vassals all did. They hadn’t been the same after their little spitfire disappeared.

  “A culmination of mistakes, perhaps,” Aphrodite said, placing her hands on the desk. “My daughter in name only.”

  How could the goddess of love be this cold?

  This loveless.

  Liam’s chest ached on Cara’s behalf. He swore that in place of Aphrodite, he would love Cara. Once he found her, he would bathe her with attention, until she was sick of him, and even then, he would give and give until she wouldn’t be able to take his love anymore.

  He would make her the happiest woman alive.

  If only he could find her.

  “Why did you summon me, then?” Liam asked. He tapped his foot on the ground. His conscience already nagged at him to leave the tent. “You’re not listening to any of my pleas.”