The Trouble with Caasi

by Debbie Macomber

  Caasi lost track of how long Blake held her, how many songs they danced to, barely moving, oblivious to the world surrounding them.

  When the music stopped, Caasi led the way off the dance floor, but instead of stopping at their table she continued out of the lounge and down the wide hall to their rooms, which were opposite each other.

  Her hands shook as she inserted the key and opened the door to her room. It was dark and silent.

  Blake’s eyes bore into hers as she stepped inside the room and extended her hand to him. A look of indecision passed across his face. Caasi’s eyes pleaded with him, and gradually the expression on his face softened as his look became potent enough for her to drown in.

  He took one step inside and Caasi smiled softly. He couldn’t turn away from her. Not now. Not tonight.

  She slid her arms around his neck and stood on the tips of her toes as she melted against him.

  He groaned her name, reaching out to close the door as she fit her body to his.

  She wouldn’t let him talk, her open mouth seeking his. He hadn’t kissed her in so long, so very long.

  “Caasi.” He groaned, repeatedly rubbing his mouth over hers. “You don’t know what you’re doing.” His voice was husky and hungry.

  “I do,” she insisted in a low murmur. “Oh Blake, I do.”

  Again and again his mouth cherished hers, eager, hungry, seeking, demanding, giving, taking. The soft, gentle sounds of their lovemaking filled the silence. They whispered phrases of awe as passion took control of their bodies.

  Caasi paused long enough to tug the shirt free at Blake’s waist. Her eager fingers fumbled with the buttons until she could slip her palms over his chest. The sensations were so exquisite she wanted to cry.

  “Caasi, no,” Blake whispered gruffly. “Not now, not like this.” The shirt fell to the floor. “Yes, like this,” she pleaded. “Only tonight, it’s all I want.” She felt the tears well in her eyes. Her body trembled against his, and Blake released an anguished groan as he swung her off her feet and carried her across the room.

  Caasi wanted him so desperately, she could no longer think. Pressing her face to his neck, she gave him tiny, biting kisses and felt his shudder as he laid her on the bed.

  Her arms around his neck, Caasi refused to release him, half lifting herself as she kissed him long and hard, her mouth slanting under his.

  His eyes looked tortured in the golden glow of the moon as he pulled her arms from his neck. “Caasi,” he whispered, in a voice she hardly recognized. “Are you drunk? Is this the liquor?”

  “Yes, I’m drunk,” she whispered, “but not from the martinis. You do this to me, Blake. Only you.”

  “This isn’t the way I wanted it, but heaven knows I haven’t got the strength to let you go,” he murmured, his lips above hers. His hands ran down her smooth body, exploring, touching, until Caasi was sure she would die if he didn’t take her. She arched against him and sighed with a longing so intense that it sounded like a mournful cry.

  Impatiently he worked at her clothing, freeing her from the constricting material. The feel of his hands against her bare skin was an exquisite torture.

  “Tonight,” she whispered in a quivering breath. “For tonight, I’m yours.”

  “Yes,” he agreed, his mouth seeking hers again.

  “I’m freeing you from any … consequences,” she stammered slightly.

  He froze. For a moment he didn’t even breathe. “You’re what?” He sat up, holding her away from him, a rough hand against each bare shoulder.

  “I’m freeing you from any responsibility,” she murmured, confused. What had she said that upset him so much? Wasn’t that something a man wanted to hear?

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, Blake leaned forward and buried his face in his hands as if he needed time to compose himself.

  “Blake,” she pleaded in a soft whisper, “what did I say?”

  He didn’t answer as he reached for his shirt and rammed his arms into the sleeves. Not bothering to fasten the buttons, he started across the room.

  “Blake,” she begged, “don’t do this to me. Please don’t do this to me.”

  He turned to her in the moonlight. She had never seen a man look more upset. His face was contorted with anger, his mouth twisted, his eyes as hard as flint.

  Caasi sagged against the bed, closing her eyes against the pain that went through her heart, a pain so deep that it was beyond tears.

  For hours Caasi lay exactly as she was, staring dry-eyed at the ceiling. She had offered Blake everything she had to give and he had rejected it all.

  Even her makeup couldn’t camouflage the dark circles under her eyes the next morning. The mirror revealed pale, colorless cheeks, as if she were recovering from a long illness. Caasi doubted that she would ever recover. Not really. She’d go on with her life, would probably even laugh again, but something deep inside her had died last night. In some respects she would never be the same.

  It gave her little satisfaction to note that Blake looked as if he hadn’t slept, either.

  Dick was at the helicopter when they arrived, assuring them that everything was fixed and ready to go.

  Blake didn’t offer her his hand when she climbed inside, which was just as well, since she would have refused it. They sat as far apart from each other as possible.

  The atmosphere was so thick that even Dick was affected, glancing anxiously from one to the other, then concentrating on the flight.

  As Caasi ran the bathwater in her quarters back at the Empress, she realized there was nothing about the short flight home that she could remember. The pain of being so close to Blake was almost more than she could bear. Her mind had blotted it from her memory.

  Blake had stepped out of the helicopter and announced stiffly that he was going home to change and would be back later to clear out his desk and pack up what remained of his personal items. It was Wednesday. His last day with Crane Enterprises.

  Caasi hadn’t bothered to answer him but had turned and gone directly to her suite.

  Some of the staff had planned a small farewell party for Blake, but she hadn’t contributed anything. Not when seeing him go was so painful. There would be an obligatory statement of good wishes she would make. Somehow she’d manage that. Somehow.

  A hot bath relieved some of the tiredness in her bones, but it had little effect on her heart.

  Dressed in a prim business suit, Caasi walked briskly into the office and offered Laurie a short nod before entering her own.

  Her desk was stacked with mail, telephone messages, and a variety of items that needed her immediate attention.

  “Laurie,” she called to her secretary, “send in Brian Harris.”

  “Right away.”

  If the man was there to take Blake’s place, she had best start working with him now.

  By noon Caasi’s head was pounding. She wasn’t one to suffer from headaches, but the pain was quickly becoming unbearable.

  “Are you all right?” Laurie asked, as she came into Caasi’s office for dictation.

  “I’m fine,” Caasi murmured. She stood at the window, her fingertips massaging her temples as she shot off one letter after another, scarcely pausing between items of correspondence.

  Laurie sat on the edge of her chair, her glasses delicately balanced on the bridge of her nose as her pencil flew across the steno pad.

  “That’ll be all.” Caasi paused. “No; get me Dirk Evans of International on the phone.”

  Laurie returned to her office and buzzed Caasi a minute later. “Mr. Evans is on line two.”

  “Thanks, Laurie,” Caasi said. “Would it be possible for you to find me some aspirin?”

  “Of course.”

  “Thanks.” Five years since she took over for her father, and this was the second time she’d needed something to help her through the day. And both times it could be directly related to Blake.

  The aspirin had little effect on the pounding sensation that persisted at
her temples well into the afternoon.

  Laurie came into her office around four to tell her that the farewell party for Blake was in progress.

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” Caasi said without looking up, her fingers tightening around her pen.

  Hands braced against the side of her desk, Caasi inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and forcing herself to absorb the silence for a couple moments before rising and going to join the party.

  Someone had opened a bottle of champagne. Caasi stood on the outskirts of the small crowd and watched as everyone toasted Blake and wished him success. One of the women had made a farewell cake and was serving thin slices. Caasi recognized her as Blake’s personal assistant but couldn’t recall her being so attractive.

  Caasi felt far removed from the joking banter that existed between Blake and his staff. There wasn’t one who didn’t regret his leaving. Yet he had chosen to do exactly that.

  Someone slapped him across the back and he laughed but stopped short as his eyes met hers.

  Quickly Caasi looked away. A hush fell over the room as she walked to the center, Blake at her side.

  “I think we can all agree that you’ll be missed,” she said in a voice that was surprisingly steady. “If my father were here, I’m sure he would say how much he appreciated the excellent job you have done for Crane Enterprises for the past six years. I’m sure he’d extend to you his personal best wishes.”

  “But not yours?” Blake whispered, for her ears alone.

  Stiffening, Caasi continued somewhat defiantly, “My own are extended to you in whatever you pursue. If there’s ever a time you feel you’d like to return, you know that there will always be a place for you here. Good-bye, Blake.”

  “What? No gold watch?” he mumbled under his breath, as he stepped forward and shook her hand. “Thank you, Miss Crane.” Those dark, unreadable eyes stared into hers, and Caasi could barely breathe.

  Grateful for the opportunity to escape, she nodded and stepped aside as Blake’s assistant approached with a small wrapped package. Hoping to give the impression she was needed elsewhere, Caasi glanced at her watch. “If you’ll excuse me, please.”

  “Of course,” Blake answered for the group.

  Without another word, she turned and walked away, not stopping until she reached her desk.

  Caasi forced herself to eat dinner. For two days she hadn’t been able to force down more than a few bites of any meal.

  The headache was now forty-eight hours old. Nothing seemed to relieve the throbbing pain. She hadn’t slept well, either. After several hours of tossing fitfully, she would fall into an uneasy slumber, only to wake an hour or two later more tired than when she’d gone to bed.

  The phone rang Saturday when she returned from a spot-check at the Sacramento Empress.

  “Hello,” she said, with little enthusiasm.

  “Is this Caasi?”

  Faintly, Caasi recognized the voice over the phone. Her home phone had a private listing and she seldom gave out the number.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Caasi.” The young voice sounded relieved. “This is Gina. Gina Sherrill.”

  “Hello, Gina. What can I do for you?” Caasi’s hand tightened around the receiver. The woman had phoned three times in the last few days, and Caasi hadn’t returned the calls. She had completely severed herself from Blake and wanted every painful reminder of him removed from her life.

  “I’m sorry to bother you like this, but I haven’t been able to get hold of you at your office.”

  “I’ve been busy.” She hoped the tone of her voice would effectively convey the message. She didn’t want to be purposely rude.

  “I knew that, and I hope you’ll forgive me for being so forward, but I did want to tell you that everyone would like it if you could come to dinner on Sunday.”

  Everyone but Blake, Caasi added silently. “I’m sure I’d like that very much, but I’m sorry, it’s impossible this week. Perhaps another time.”

  Caasi heard a sigh of disappointment come over the line. “I understand.”

  Maybe she did, Caasi mused.

  “I’d like to talk to you someday when you’ve got the time.”

  “I’d enjoy that, Gina, but I really am busy. Thank you for calling. Give my love to your family.”

  “I will. Good-bye, Caasi.”

  Caasi heard the drone of the disconnected line sound in her ear. Replacing the receiver, she walked to the window and studied the view of miniature people and miniature cars far below.

  Someone knocked on her door, and she wanted to cry out in irritation. Why couldn’t people just leave her alone? Everything would be fine if she could have some peace and quiet in her life.

  “Just a minute,” she answered shortly, as she strode across the floor. She opened the door to discover … Blake. Her heart leapt into her throat, and she was too stunned to move.

  “I hope you haven’t eaten yet. By the way, where were you all afternoon?” he asked, as he walked past her into the living room.

  Nine

  “Where was I?” Caasi repeated, nonplussed. What was Blake doing here? Hadn’t he left her, decided to sever his relationship with her and Crane Enterprises?

  “Yes—I’ve been trying to get you all day.”

  Her hand on the doorknob, Caasi watched his relaxed movements as he sauntered to the sofa, sat back, and positioned his ankle on his knee.

  “I do have a business to run.” She hated the telltale way her voice shook, revealing her shock.

  “Yes, but it wasn’t business that kept you out. I know, because I checked.”

  “You checked?” Caasi demanded. “Then I suggest you question your sources, because it most certainly was business.”

  “Instead of standing all the way over there and arguing, why don’t you come and sit with me?” He held out his hand invitingly. “I certainly hope you’re hungry, because I’m starved.”

  Caasi closed the door but didn’t sit with him as he requested. Instead she walked to the window, her arms cradling her waist.

  “What you’re wearing is fine,” he assured her. “Don’t bother to change.”

  Her gaze shot to him. The friendly, almost gentle light in his eyes was enough to steal her breath. His ready smile was warm and encouraging.

  “I thought you wanted out of Crane Enterprises.”

  “I did.”

  “Then why are you here? Why come back? Don’t you know how hard it was for me to let you walk away? Are you really that insensitive, Blake? I don’t want you flitting in and out of my life when the mood strikes you. I haven’t seen you in—”

  “Three days,” he supplied. “I know. I wanted you to have time to think things through, but I can see you haven’t figured anything out yet.”

  Caasi’s hands became knotted fists and fell to her sides. “I hate it when people play these kinds of games with me. If you have something to say, just say it.”

  Blake groaned in frustration. “Are you really so dense you can’t see?”

  “I don’t need to stand in my own home and be insulted by you, Blake Sherrill.” She stalked across the room and opened the door. “Perhaps it would be best if you left.”

  “Caasi, I didn’t come here to argue.”

  “Well, you seem to be doing a bang-up job of it.”

  He stood and rammed his hands into his pockets. He strode to the window, his back to her as he gazed at the panorama.

  Caasi could see and feel the frustration in the rigid set of his shoulders. She didn’t want to fight. The desire to walk to him and slip her arms around his waist and press her face to his back was almost overwhelming. The headache that had persisted since Blake left was her body’s method of telling her how miserable she had been without him.

  A hundred times since Wednesday she’d had to stop herself from consulting him, remembering that Blake was no longer available to ask. Softly she exhaled and closed the door.

  At the sound of the click, Blake turned around.
“Can we start again, Cupcake? Pretend I’m an old friend who’s come to town for the weekend.”

  Caasi lowered her gaze. “Don’t call me Cupcake,” she murmured stiffly. “I’m not a little girl. That’s the last way I want you to think of me.”

  The sound of his robust laugh filled the room. “There’s no worry of that.”

  Indecision gripped Caasi. All her life she’d been in control of every situation. She had always known what to expect and how to react. But not with Blake and this new ground he seemed to want to travel with her. Of one thing Caasi was sure: She couldn’t tolerate much more of the pain she’d felt when he walked away.

  “Dinner, Caasi?” His arched brow contained a challenging lift.

  Her compliant nod was as weak as her resolve. She would accept what little Blake was willing to offer and be grateful.

  His smile crinkled the lines at his eyes. “Come on. I’ve got fat steaks ready for the grill.”

  Caasi took a light jacket out of the closet. “Where are we going?”

  “To my place.”

  “Your place?”

  “Then after dinner I thought we’d try our luck at the horse races.”

  “Horse races?” she repeated.

  Blake looked around, stared at the ceiling, and shook his head. “This room seems to have developed an echo all of a sudden.”

  Caasi smiled. It was the first time she could remember smiling since Monday, when Blake had announced he would be leaving her and Crane Enterprises.

  They rode in his T-Bird convertible with the top down. The wind ruffled her sleekly styled curls, and Caasi closed her eyes to savor the delicious sensations that flowed through her. She was with Blake, and it felt right.

  The grill could be seen in the backyard, a bag of briquettes leaning against its base, when Blake pulled into the driveway. He came around and opened her car door for her. Leaning over the rolled-down window, he lightly brushed his mouth across hers. He straightened and his eyes looked deeply into hers. With a groan his, arms surrounded her, half lifting her from the car as she arched against his chest. Caasi slipped her arms around his neck and surrendered to his kiss. Gradually his grip relaxed and he tenderly brushed the tangled hair from her temple. “I’ve missed you.”