Healing the Forest Ranger

by Leigh Bale

  Out of his peripheral vision, he caught a camera crew filming his every word.

  Great. He’d be on the evening news. By tomorrow morning, the entire community would know about this nightmare.

  “She only cares about the ranchers. She doesn’t care about the wild horses!” a man yelled.

  “Sure she does. I’ve been out riding with her and seen the work she’s trying to do for the mustangs,” Cade insisted.

  He launched into a short dialogue on the things he’d seen and some of the tactics the Forest Service was using to try to combat the problem. For all the wildlife. Not just the mustangs. It was a duplicate of the report he’d given the tribal elders the night before.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” one woman insisted. “Roundups kill wild horses. They drive the mustangs to death.”

  “They don’t lose more than one percent of the horses,” Cade said.

  “That’s one percent too many,” a man called.

  “And how many horses, deer and desert bighorn sheep will we lose if they can’t find water and starve to death? Certainly more than one percent,” he shot back.

  A number of people jeered at Cade. They were acting closed-minded and were unwilling to listen. It was like facing a brick wall of ignorance. He realized they didn’t understand the environmental impacts resulting from overpopulated herds. How could they? They spoke from their hearts, not academic learning and experience.

  Cade had heard enough. The picketers would have to do what they wanted. Turning, he headed back to his office. Dal met him at the corner where he’d been standing, listening to this dialogue. The two men fell into step together, walking in silence for half a block while Cade mulled over what he should do now. He needed to talk to Lyn. To explain things to her. To make her understand. But how should he proceed? By phone call or in person? Hopefully she wouldn’t hang up on him or slam a door in his face.

  “You think she’ll ever speak to me again?” Cade finally asked his friend.

  “Not unless you speak to her first. I advise taking flowers when you apologize. Maybe daisies. They’ll get the message across, but won’t come on too strong until you ask her out.”

  Cade shook his head. “Flowers? You don’t get it, do you?”

  Dal shrugged, giving him a lopsided grin. “Of course I do. You care for that woman, and she cares for you. Nothing else matters.”

  “That’s not true. A lot matters here. This is a serious situation. She’s very angry right now. We’re talking about her job. Flowers aren’t gonna cut it.”

  “Then what will?”

  Cade had no idea. It was just his luck that he’d finally met a woman he loved and wanted to be with, and they faced an impossible situation that would most likely destroy any happiness they might find together.

  Silence loomed between the two men with just the sound of cars speeding past on the busy road. Cade turned away from the exhaust fumes, trying to think of a brilliant way to restore his relationship with Lyn. But once trust had been broken, it was harder to restore.

  He’d always known this day might come. He and Lyn had been on opposite sides from the very first. And yet, part of his mind kept telling him they could agree to disagree on this issue. At least until the BLM hauled his beloved horses away.

  Trust was the problem, and there were no easy answers. No matter what they did, someone was going to get hurt. Lyn might never believe in him again. And he couldn’t blame her. He just didn’t know how to repair the damage to their relationship.

  Chapter Eleven

  The following Saturday, Kristen sat at the kitchen table, staring out the window. Her eyes filled with gloomy resignation, she watched the vacant road, as though expecting to see someone there.

  “What’re you doing?” Lyn asked.

  The girl turned and wiped her moist eyes, as though embarrassed to be caught crying. “Reading.”

  Lyn glanced at the closed book sitting on the table in front of her daughter. Reticent to cause an argument, Lyn almost turned back to the kitchen sink without comment.

  Almost.

  Something compelled her to dry her damp hands on a dish towel, then pull out a chair and sit beside her little girl. She’d explained about the picketers and wild horses and Kristen seemed to understand, but they hadn’t talked much since that horrible day. Lyn didn’t know how much longer they could go on like this. “You’re not reading, honey. You’re staring out the window and grieving. I’d like to know why.”

  Kristen blinked and ducked her head. Lyn braced herself to receive the silent treatment. Again.

  “Do you think he’ll ever come home?” The child’s voice sounded low and choked with emotion.

  “Who?” Lyn asked.

  “Daddy.”

  A painful thud struck Lyn’s heart. “No, hon. He can’t. You know Dad’s in heaven now.”

  Kristen licked her lips, looking small and exposed. “Dal came back. The doctors declared him dead and he lost a leg like me, but he lived. He came back home. He doesn’t let anything stand in his way.”

  Taking a deep inhale, Lyn released it on a sigh. “Unfortunately your dad’s body was too damaged for him to live. He can’t come back, sweetheart. But I know we’ll see him again. I know if he could have come home, he would have.”

  Kristen lifted her head, her eyes swimming with tears. “Did I do something bad to make him go away?”

  Lyn’s heart squeezed painfully, and she wrapped her arms around her child. “Oh, no, honey. Not at all. He just died. It wasn’t anything you did. He loved you so very much. I know he would have stayed with us if he could. He didn’t want to leave, I can promise you that. He loved his life. He loved us.”

  For the first time in a long time, Kristen hugged her mother back. Liquid warmth pooled in Lyn’s chest, and she couldn’t stop the flow of tears. She held her daughter for long, tender minutes while they both cried. And when Lyn sat back, Kristen smiled at her. She actually smiled.

  “Thanks, Mom. I feel better.”

  “So do I.”

  The timer buzzed, announcing the cake in the oven had finished baking. Lyn stood and reached for the hot pads before opening the oven. The sweet, tantalizing aroma flooded the kitchen. When Kristen let out a happy squeal, Lyn almost dropped the hot pan on the tiled floor.

  “Cade’s here!” The girl bounced happily in her seat and waved, but couldn’t stand because she wasn’t wearing her prosthesis.

  The doorbell rang, and Lyn’s heart gave a quick stutter.

  “I’ll get it.” Setting the cake on a cooling rack, Lyn padded into the living room in bare feet. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. Just as Kristen had said, Cade stood before her.

  “Hi, there. These are for you.” His lips twitched as though he tried to smile but failed. He opened the screen door, lifting a bouquet of white daisies toward her.

  He’d brought her flowers?

  “Hello,” she answered, not taking the gift.

  She knew what this was. An apology. Something she didn’t want from him. Something she didn’t dare accept. Even knowing he had nothing to do with the picketers, she was still angry and not at all certain she should continue her friendship with this man. Something told her it would only lead to more trouble and disappointment.

  A rustling sounded in the kitchen, and she glanced over her shoulder. Kristen balanced herself against the wall as she hopped on one leg to retrieve her prosthesis from the coffee table.

  “Can I speak with you outside?” Lifting a hand, Lyn pushed lightly against Cade’s chest as she stepped out onto the porch with him. She closed the door quietly behind her. He glanced down at her pink toenails.

  “How are you feeling today?” he asked.

  “I’m fine. What do you want?” she asked, trying not to let bi
tterness clog her voice.

  His smile wilted, replaced by a regretful gaze as he met her eyes. “I had to see you again. To tell you how sorry I am. I couldn’t leave things as they were. Not without knowing you and Kristen were all right.”

  “We’re fine. You can leave now.” She turned toward the door.

  “Please, Lyn.” He gave her arm a gentle tug, pulling her back around.

  Crossing her arms, she released a deep sigh. Why wouldn’t he leave them alone?

  “Billie has a vendetta against me,” he said. “I think that’s why he didn’t tell me he was planning to picket your office.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He shrugged one incredibly broad shoulder. “You remember I told you the elders wanted my mother to marry a member of the tribe? But she loved my father and married him instead.”

  Lyn nodded, wondering what this had to do with the picketing.

  “Billie Shining Elk was the man the tribe wanted her to marry. When she refused and eloped with my dad, it brought shame to Billie. He’s never forgiven me for it.”

  “But why? It wasn’t your fault your mother loved and married another man.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Billie blames me.”

  “That was years ago, and you’re his doctor.”

  A half smile curved Cade’s full lips. “Yeah, it’s kind of ironic, huh? He hates me, but he still comes to my office because there isn’t another doctor in town. And yet, he won’t take the medicines I prescribe. He thinks I’m trying to poison him. Sometimes I think Billie is his own worst enemy.”

  She laughed—she couldn’t help it. People could be so silly. But knowing the truth didn’t change much between her and Cade. Not really.

  “I want you to have these.” He pressed the bouquet of flowers against her palm.

  Weary of this battle, she wrapped her fingers around the leafy stems, the green paper crackling. It’d been so long since a man had given her flowers. Even if these were just a peace offering, she couldn’t resist.

  “Thank you.”

  He stepped closer. “Can’t we still be friends? I’m hoping you’ll bring Kristen out to the ranch soon. I’ve bought a new gelding that Dal is training to ride. We could make a day of it, complete with a picnic.”

  A picnic. With Cade Baldwin. It sounded so...so domestic. And fun. Kristen would love it. The June weather was unseasonably warm. Lyn could take the opportunity to check on the water hole near Emmitt’s Point. And they could... No! Lyn couldn’t be sucked in by this man again. No more.

  “Dal is training the horse?” The resiliency of both men surprised Lyn. They were quite a pair, and she couldn’t help admiring Cade in spite of everything standing between them.

  “Yeah, he grew up on a ranch in Oklahoma. I’d like to resume physical therapy with Kristen again, if you’ll agree. No horse riding this time. I promise.”

  She hissed a breath of exasperation. “Cade, I don’t think we can—”

  “Can I please come in?” He hurried on as though trying to intercept her refusal. “I’d like to give Kristen an update on Lightning. I’ve weaned the filly off the bottle. She’s eating hay like a pig and getting bigger every day.”

  Lyn couldn’t help chuckling at that. Oh, she was tempted to agree. Both she and Kristen loved that little horse. No doubt Kristen almost had her prosthesis on by now. At any moment, the girl would barge through the door, eager to see Cade. Hearing about the filly would lead to more visits to the ranch. Which would bring them near Cade again. Which would win Lyn more condemnation from his tribe. No matter what, she was the forest ranger and Cade was a wild-horse advocate. They just didn’t see eye to eye on this issue. And honestly, Lyn didn’t think her heart could take being near Cade anymore. He’d become too important in her life. He’d come to mean so much to both her and Kristen.

  Too much.

  “I don’t think that’s wise, Cade. I’ll always be grateful for everything you’ve done for Kristen, but I think it’s best if we just part ways now.” She lifted her gaze to gauge his reaction.

  The crease in his forehead deepened. “Please don’t say that, Lyn. We can work this out. The wild horses have nothing to do with you, me and Kristen. Not really. They’re just a cause we both care a great deal about.”

  She snorted. “They have everything to do with us, Cade.”

  “Not if we don’t let it.”

  What exactly was he saying? She didn’t dare ask. It would only lead to more heartache or embarrassment. Because now she wanted more from their relationship than just friends, and she didn’t think she or Kristen were ready for that. Maybe in another year or two.

  Maybe never.

  “We were just working together, Cade. Nothing more.” Maybe if she said the words often enough, she’d actually come to believe them.

  He licked his lips. “I’d still like us to be friends.”

  It was so hard to ignore his plea, but she saw no other way. And now she must reveal the big clincher. “You should know the BLM contacted me yesterday afternoon. The director saw the evening news with all the picketers in front of the Forest Service office. Since the mustangs cross boundary lines, the BLM is already aware of the problem and has scheduled a roundup for next month. It’s out of my hands. I didn’t have to call them after all. They’re having a roundup anyway.”

  A long, swelling silence followed.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Foaling season will be ending the first week in July. They’ll be running young foals. They could be running expectant mothers who are late in dropping their foals. They could lose their babies.” His words sounded wooden. Hurt.

  “Yes, there’s always the chance of that, but the contractor has promised not to fly the helicopters faster than the slowest animal. I know this particular contractor out of Utah. He’s one of the best.”

  Cade snorted. “Yeah, and we all know how that works out. Some of those babies literally run their hooves off. They’re not strong yet. Their little hooves slough off, and then they have to be put down.”

  “I’m sorry, Cade. I’ve done everything I could. I hope you know that. Sometimes there are just no easy answers. Not in a situation like this.”

  “Yes, I know. But I hate to see any creature locked away when they want to be free.”

  “I do, too. But...why is this so important to you, Cade? It’s like you’re personally responsible for the mustangs. I don’t understand.”

  She shouldn’t have asked, but couldn’t help herself. Dal had mentioned that Cade had suffered more than the other men at war, and she wanted to know why.

  His expression darkened, his eyes filled with subtle rebellion. “You really want to know?”

  “Yes.” At least, she thought she did. But his hushed voice sent a shiver of apprehension down her spine.

  “I was a prisoner of war for twenty-one days, Lyn. Not very long when compared to other prisoners, but long enough to endure some unspeakable things. I was finally rescued. In the process, Dal lost his leg. To save me. And that’s all I’m ever gonna say about it again.”

  So now she knew. He hadn’t spelled out the gritty details, but her mind filled in the blanks. The knife scars she’d noticed on his neck, chest and arms. The haunted look in his eyes when he’d had to destroy the injured mare. The strong friendship he shared with Dallin Savatch. It all made sense.

  They were brothers in arms. They’d given so much for their country. And for each other. They both deserved some peace.

  “I’m so very sorry, Cade.” And she meant it. She could only imagine what he must have suffered. What he had endured. She hated the thought of anyone torturing him. Keeping him prisoner.

  No wonder he loved the mustangs so much. And yet, he still tried to do the right things.

  He reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand. The
warmth of his calloused palm sent shock waves through her.

  “It’s okay now. The Lord brought me home,” he said. “What I went through made me who I am today. I’m so blessed to be alive, and I owe God so much.”

  So did Lyn. For so long, she’d looked at the car accident and losing Rob with such bitterness. She’d seen no good that had come from it. Kristen losing her leg. All the pain and anguish that had followed. Walking the floors of the hospital, wondering if her child would survive. Endless therapy sessions. Endless tears. And yet, Lyn could no longer blame God. It wasn’t His fault a drunk driver had hit them. It was the drunk driver’s fault. Recovering hadn’t been easy, but the Lord had brought them through. Her faith had been growing every day, and she no longer wanted to be angry at God anymore.

  But that changed nothing between her and Cade.

  She turned her face to the side, and he dropped his hand away.

  “I’d like to participate in the roundup. Just to ensure the horses are treated humanely,” he said.

  She nodded. “I can arrange that. You can ride with me.”

  “You’ll be there?”

  “Yes. Like you, I want to make sure the chopper doesn’t run any expectant mares or young foals into the ground. Don’t worry. Some of the healthy mares will receive a fertility vaccination and then be released back into the wild. Other horses will be made available to the public for adoption to good homes.”

  A frustrated sigh whispered past his lips. “There are never enough people willing to adopt the mustangs. Too many horses end up imprisoned for the rest of their lives in holding facilities. That isn’t humane, either.”

  “It’s better than the mustangs slowly starving to death.” She hesitated. “Maybe you should adopt some of them. Dal could train them for you. You could open a horse camp for amputee children out at Sunrise Ranch. You’re a doctor and have the medical knowledge. And you certainly have room in that big house of yours.”

  Why had she suggested such a thing? The words poured out of her mouth before she could stop them. She was being half-sarcastic, half-serious. And yet, the thought was a good one, but expensive. Even with his medical degree and background in prosthetics, Cade might not have the resources to take on such a big project. Besides, he wanted to start up an outfitters business and guide people into the deepest parts of the wilderness, not begin a horse camp for amputee kids.