The Marshal of Denver

by Judge Rodriguez

  John gets off the cot, looks around, then kneels beside it. He closes his eyes and bows his head in prayer. He feels Cherokee place an encouraging hand on his back.

  After several moments, John finally says aloud, “I don’t know what to say. I still don’t know I believe in you, but if it is you trying to talk to me, I’m here. I’m not sure what all the bad things I’ve done are, but I’m sorry for them. Please forgive me for all I have done.”

  John feels the fabric of the cot press into his face. He’s about to demand Cherokee an explanation why the old man pushed him forward, when he realizes he’s not in the Marshal’s Office anymore.

  The air is warm. The sky is bright. The ground is a wasteland. He sees the building of Crecilla around him. He sees teen-aged versions of Josh and Liz walk up to him. The two teens stop in front of him.

  Josh says, “I told you a little while ago, you’re a hard man to help.”

  Liz walks around to his side and says quietly, “I can understand why you have trouble believing in Me. A lot of people have wronged you in My Name.” Liz walks around John, making him turn to meet her gaze. “I can only show people the path of Truth. I can’t make them follow it.” She stops and looks him dead in the eyes. “You have the choice to follow Me. My path is the path of love, compassion, life. The path you are following now is only going to lead you to one place: where your last dream took you.”

  Josh starts walking around as well. “Most of your bad dreams have been coming from you, from your guilt.” He stops and stares at John a moment. “When I died in your place, I took your sins away. If you are truly sorry for your sins and repent, you can accept My gift of forgiveness and be released of your feelings of guilt, of your pain. You have to believe in Me and allow Me into your heart, though. It’s still up to you to choose letting Me in.”

  John is stunned. All this, coming from inside of him? How is that possible? Can he actually put faith into a being he never believed in? Can he live with, as it was put, the guilt of his sin? He shakes his head. “I don’t know how to accept You as You ask.”

  “Are you truly sorry for all the wrongs you have done?” Josh and Liz both stop moving and stare at John intently. He nods.

  Liz asks, “Do you repent of your sins?”

  John shakes his head. “I don’t know what that means.”

  Josh explains, “It means, once you find out what all sins you’re committing, you’ll actively work to stop committing them. It is a promise to you, to Me, and My Father, that you will do your best to live by His rules, not your own.”

  John looks incredulously at Josh. “You mean all those ceremonies, all those traditions have no value?”

  Liz says, “No. Those traditions mean nothing without accepting Me into your heart and repenting of your sins. You will need to perform some traditional actions, but those are outward signs, showing your commitment to Me, to serving My Father and I, both.”

  “It sounds like I’m agreeing to become a slave to you.”

  “By agreeing to serve us, you are freeing yourself of the guilt and shame of unrepentant sin. By doing that, you are simply accepting the sacrifice I have made for you, longer ago than you know.”

  “What if I slip and fail, what if I sin again?”

  “There was only one man to never sin. You’re talking to Him. We know you will sin again, but you will have to repent each time you do. That’s the point of repentance, once you realize you’ve sinned, you ask forgiveness and actively work to stop from repeating the same actions. Then it becomes a choice.”

  John looks at Liz and his heart aches. “How do I show repentance? I can say it all day and not mean it.”

  Liz steps forward placing her face directly in front of John’s, stares him directly in the eyes and asks, “Do you honestly think you can lie to Me? Do you think you can hide the truth from Me? From yourself?” Her face is close enough, John feels the breath of her words on his cheek. Each breath he feels is electrifying, each word burns through his body like flash powder.

  The sensation is so pleasurable as to be painful. John gasps at the feeling. He nods, accepting the request. “I repent my sins. Please save me from the wages of my sins. I promise to try and follow Your teachings as closely as I can, my Lord, my God.”

  Liz steps back and Josh smiles. John sees the familiar fiddle-back spider come in from the periphery. Josh steps forward and steps on it, killing it instantly.

  John knows this is the last time he will ever see that creature again. Both Josh and Liz disappear.

  He feels a great weight lift off his chest. John is unsure what just happened, but now, that’s okay. He has the sensation of having strong arms wrapped around him. Instead of feeling restrained, he feels only comforted. He revels in the sensation.

  He opens his eyes, at first confused by the sight of wet canvas, encompassing the entire right side of his vision. Then he remembers collapsing onto the cot. He feels a wetness on his face and sits up.

  Cherokee says, “Amen.”

  John feels his face and realizes it is wet with tears. “How long was I like that?” he asks, feeling refreshed like having had been asleep for several hours.

  “Less than ten minutes,” Cherokee replies with a wide smile.

  John looks around, surprised at how bright everything seems. He stands up and stretches.

  Cherokee stands and offers a hand. “Let me be the first to welcome you to the family, as brother.”

  John takes the Marshal’s hand, shaking it firmly. For the first time in only God knows how long, if ever, he is looking forward to the future.

  Chapter 68

  John looks up from his reading, contemplating the verses momentarily. He looks down at the small, leather-bound book. Understanding centuries old language is only the most minor of the challenges this last few weeks has brought him.

  He remembers the first time he saw this book. Was it only two weeks ago? The morning after the visit by Marshal Brouwer, he went to the hotel and spoke to David in the dining-room. When he explained to his young friend the revelations of the previous night, the doctor just smiled mysteriously and said, “He does work in mysterious ways.” He rose and said, “I’ll be right back.”

  David came back several minutes later, holding this Bible. He handed it to John saying, “When we were in Norman a few days ago, I felt called to buy this. I don’t always know why, but I always try to listen when I feel called to do something. I want you to have this, but I want you to promise me something if you accept it. I want your promise you will read it. I don’t want it gathering dust on a forgotten shelf somewhere.”

  Closing and turning the book over once again, reverently, he recalls his gratitude of receiving not just a heartfelt, but costly, gift. The thoughtfulness of the young doctor was more touching than he really has words for. John had asked David where he should start, and the young man suggested John start reading in the Gospel of John, then opened the Bible to the correct page. He said that this is so John can learn about Jesus and his commands, to start his walk in his newfound faith.

  The day he received his gift, for the first time, John opened a Bible and read from it, trying to learn its lessons. Since then, he has been reading his valued tome voraciously. Now that it isn’t something someone is using to control him with, he is able to listen to the wisdom and commands contained in its pages. He started reading the New Testament, but on Rebekah’s suggestion, is also reading from Proverbs. He has found he gains a greater understanding from reading their nuggets of wisdom.

  The following day after receiving the Bible, John asked Cherokee about a Baptism. Cherokee was glad to explain things to John about it and the process of said Baptism. He also explained about the taking of Communion as well. To John, who was forced to grow up as a catholic, Communion was always forbidden for everyone, but the sisters and the priest that would come by.

  After Cherokee explained it, though, John was less leery of taking part in the ritual.

  He shivers at the memory
. He was Baptized in the creek that bordered Red-Feather’s property. When he emerged from the water, it was as if an amazing weight had been take from his chest. Then Cherokee, David, Rebekah and John all took communion.

  Immediately after John’s Baptism and Communion, Cherokee left town saying, “I really DO have to go. There’s a mission in Shawnee I have to deal with. Originally, I just stopped by to tell you about the money for delivering Nancy-boy Croix to the courthouse down in Dallas. You appear to be in good hands, with David and Rebekah. I’ll come back by when that’s done, to check and see how things are going.”

  He opens his Bible, once again, to Proverbs. He re-reads the second chapter, his favorite thus far. He finds these scriptures particularly invigorating, but isn’t able to say why. They explain so much, they seem to be speaking directly to him.

  He leans back, making his chair creak. He’s glad to be able to set aside a couple of hours each morning and devote it to his reading. He thought that dedicating his life like that was going to require him to sacrifice everything IN his life. In a way, he has, but in the sacrifice, he has found he is able to be free of all the things that have been weighing him down, making his existence miserable.

  John looks at his pocket-watch. That’s something else he’s having to get used to, being expected at church services. Oh, he was expected at mass twice a day as a child, but that was thirty five plus years ago, after all. Now that he’s part of the community of believers, he has expectations put on him. Not that anyone has actually said anything specific to him about it. He just knows he is expected to be there now.

  David did tell him the fellowship is needed for reinforcing the strength of the foundations of one’s faith, but John’s still a little unsure about all the singing. Admittedly, he knows his fair share of drinking songs, but hymns? Perish the thought.

  Actually, signing as a part of any group, other than drunkenly, is a daunting consideration, to say the least. David did explain, however, that the Scriptures DO say, “Make a joyful noise” after all, so he shouldn’t be self-conscious about it.

  Brother Bill, the preacher that has been coming in from White, is entertaining and delivers a powerful message. John has been impressed with his ability to not fall asleep during the services.

  Strangely enough, when John found out that the land agent Daniel Jacobson was attending the services, John wasn’t upset, just surprised. When he mentioned it to David, the young man just responded saying, “If you’re sick, you go to the doctor. Not everyone that goes to church, go for the right reasons or because they believe. I believe that even hearing the Good Message may be enough to help turn his ways away from sin.”

  When John first went to the church, he was most shocked, however, to see Red-Feather’s entire family there. The fact that John never knew his longest living friend and entire family were Christian is more than a little unsettling to the marshal. He had to pick his jaw up when he saw the family come out in traditional Apache garb, though, as John was sure wearing it was illegal. When asked, Red-Feather only replies, “Church clothes. Best ones we got.”

  Chapter 69

  Today’s sermon is about forgiveness and forgiving those whom have debts against you. As always, Brother Bill delivered a rousing sermon, making the archaic language of the King James Bible more relatable, more like a living being, than a dead language.

  After the sermon, Brother Bill has the congregation sing the song “Be Thou My Vision.” At first, the song sounded somewhat familiar, but only somewhat. That is, until Red-Feather breaks out his flute and starts to accompany the singers.

  This tune. No. It can’t be. Well, I’ll be! John allows the tears to flow down his cheeks as he starts singing with more emotion, more vigor. He doesn’t even care if he’s getting the notes all wrong, or anything.

  Once the services are over, David asks John about the change in the singing during the song and John replies, “I don’t know if I can it explain it right. That song reminds me of those I’ve lost. Those that have gone on before. Hearing it makes me miss them all the more.”

  “Oh, I dunno. That makes a whole lotta sense. Just saying. Are we expecting you for dinner? I would like to talk to you about something.” David’s acting nervous makes John all the more uneasy.

  John smiles a little warily, but replies, “Of course. I know I could survive without your fiancé’s cooking, but I don’t think I will ever want to again. That is, unless I can help it.”

  “Great. The Johnstons sold us numerous prairie chickens, to pay for my helping take care of their mother. Bekah is planning on cooking one. In fact, there she goes now.” He points to the young woman hurrying from the church toward the hotel. “Though, I think we will want to eat at my place. Privacy would be best for this.”

  Now, John is getting worried. He’s unsure what’s making his young friend so uneasy, but whatever it is, has got to be something major. “Yeah. Sure. I need to check on a few things, but I should be able to come over. Not like your place is on the other side of the territory, or anything, right?”

  David laughs. “Fair enough. Bekah says to expect to eat around five or so.”

  John nods. Great. Now I get to cool my heels until evening. I was hoping he would say either a lot earlier, or a lot later. At least if it were later, I could go out to the ranch and talk to Red-Feather about that hymn. He looks at his watch. Barely past noon. He goes to the marshal’s office, unsure of what to do with himself for the next four and a half hours.

  When he enters the office, however, he is greeted by the sight of Red-Feather talking with Sheriff Lyttle.

  “Hello, Sheriff. To what do I owe this honor of a visit? Especially, so unexplained as this?”

  The sheriff holds up a pair of wanted posters. One is for Jeff Jacobson, the other, Richard Buchannan. “They robbed a stage coming north out of Gainesville. Left only one passenger alive. Told them they were left alive to give you a message.”

  John shakes his head. “Wait. You said they robbed a stage? Together? I wonder if Richard knows it was Jeff, who killed his parents. I wonder if he even CARES.”

  Lyttle shakes his head. “The message is, ‘We’re coming for you, soon.’ I came to talk to you. See what you would like to do. It is YOUR skin, after all.”

  John frowns, uncertain what to do. This is definitely an unexpected turn of events. It appears that birds of a feather do tend to flock together, after all. “I’ll have to think on it. I’m not sure what can be done. I refuse to run. That’s not even an option on the table.”

  Lyttle nods in approval. “That’s what I was hoping to hear. Well, I delivered the warning. Let me know what you decide. I need to go talk to your friend, Rebekah, about a room and a telegram.” He waves bye to the marshal and his deputy, then heads over to the hotel.

  John lets out the breath he was holding explosively. He turns to Red-Feather. “Mind telling me about Be Thou My Vision?”

  The deputy looks at him impassively. “What about it?”

  “A couple of weeks ago, you played that tune on your flute. Why?”

  “It was taught to me and sister by a missionary when we were on road. He gave us some food, some blankets and told us he was gonna come back to us. He never did. We got tired of waiting, hit the road.”

  John can’t begin to imagine being a child and losing not only your entire family, but a stranger who promised to help as well. No wonder Red-Feather’s sister, Silver Moon, bonded so quickly with Aisling. He had known some of the story: their parents’ death, their aunt, and now this. John is surprised Red-Feather turned towards Jesus at all. The resiliency of the man’s spirit is amazing. There’s something not quite right with his friend’s tone. He’s holding something back. “Did you ever find out what happened to the preacher?”

  Red-Feather nods. “Couple weeks before we wed, Heart-of-Falcon brought me a wedding gift. What a gift is was, too. She brought me Mescalero who bragged how he tortured and killed the missionary after a raid. He was proud how he made the mi
ssionary scream out to God for mercy.” He looks away, unshed tears gathering in his eyes. “I will always remember his screams. His pleas for mercy as I did to him the same as he did to my friend. In the night, in the cries of my infant children, his screams and begging for mercy are there. That was several years before I accepted the Gift of Grace, but I will always hear him begging to please just let him die.”

  John understands being unable to stop hearing the screams. He is curious though, when he accepted Christ, was he unable to let go of all that guilt. Why don’t I still hear all their pleas in the middle of the night?

  Red-Feather looks closely at John’s face and smiles sadly. “He was my cousin. I just can’t stop hearing the screams.”

  John is stunned. He feels like this is a side of his friend he’s never seen before. He’s unsure how to handle it. “When did you accept the Gift of Grace?”

  Appearing annoyed, Red-Feather sighs, “Ten years ago. You remember the missionary that came out to share with the Apache?”

  “Yeah. He seemed a little odd at the time. When you got saved, weren’t you released from your feelings of guilt about the death of your cousin?”

  Red-Feather shakes his head in uncertainty. “I have held onto that pain for so long I don’t know I can ever let it go. Other than Heart-of-Falcon, you are the only other person that knows about this.”

  John is lost in a storm of emotion. How is he supposed to be able to handle all this? His best friend avenged the death of another man on his own cousin and then confesses to it all these years later? “Why tell me about it now?”

  “You asked. I said. That’s all.” He steps to the gun cabinet, gets his gun, belts it on and says, “Headed home. See you in a few days.”

  Still stunned at this revelation, John waves bye. He sits at the desk and studies the wanted posters. Whomever drew the pictures, had obviously seen both men, and recently at that. He studies the picture of Richard, seeing the scars Brigit had left him with after their last encounter.