The Calum
Page 10
The days were cake, but the nights…the nights had been friggin' awful.
Duff invaded her dreams, whispering words of desire in her ear until she woke up feverish and aching for his touch. Or crying, hating him.
“Look, I don’t want to talk about Duff, it just pisses me off more.”
“Because he matters to you.”
“I only spent a few days with the guy, it’s not like we...like we were...”
“Falling in love?”
Lovie let out a bark of laughter.
Love?
Seriously?
The guy was a mess. And the son of a mess. Feeding her some sob story about his family, probably just to get into her pants. And she didn’t even know his full name! Or where he lived, for that matter.
He was probably lying about being a photographer. Except that she had seen his work, and it was incredible.
But so what?
Stupid jerk. With his opalescent eyes and cupid’s bow mouth. And that body.
Okay, sure. He fucked like a god, and could be so unbelievably sweet, but he was also a lying liar who lied.
Love.
Hmmph.
“You need to step away from your Kindle, Jo.”
“I understand why you’re upset, believe me I do, but you’re wrong, Lovie.” The humor wicked away from Jo’s voice so quickly that Lovie’s head snapped up. “I talked to him.”
“You what? When?”
“He came by the hotel the morning that we left Inverness. Not to see you, but to see me.”
“What for?”
“To apologize. The way he talks about you...” Jo had that dreamy look in her eye. She was such a hopeless romantic, even after Hamish. “All I’ve ever wanted was someone to talk about me that way.”
Lovie shrugged. “Talk is cheap.”
Jo studied her for a moment. “What would it take?’”
“For what?”
“For you to let him back in.” She offered a sad smile and pulled on one of Lovie’s curly locks. “I’ve never seen it before, you letting someone in. Other than me, of course.”
“It doesn’t matter. I didn’t matter enough for him to tell us the truth.” Lovie closed her eyes against the onslaught of emotions. “There’s no coming back from that.”
****
He must be crazy - stark raving mad - to think it would make a difference, but he was all out of options.
Joana knew Lovie better than anyone. If she thought he still had a chance, he had to take it. He’d been shocked as hell to get her call and broke land speed records to get there in time. Be honest with her. She’d said. She needs to know that she matters to you. It’s simple.
Simple.
Nothing about this was simple, but Duff cracked his neck, walked up to the door and knocked. A shadow passed in front of the light the other side. The figure moved toward the peephole, and then there was a gasp.
“Lovie?” He took a step forward, catching her unmistakable ‘stay the hell away from me’ vibe through the door. “I know you’re there, love.” Silence.
He double-checked the text that Joana had sent to his phone after she left. It was the right hotel. Right floor. Right room.
Hopefully, it was the right thing to do.
Duff placed his ear against the door. He could hear her breathing. “Won’t you let me in so we can talk? Please?” He ran his fingertips down the surface, tracing the lines in the grain of the wood, wishing it were her skin. “I’ve come all this way.”
The bell from the lift sounded. Two girls emerged, each dressed to the nines and carrying bottles of champagne. They flashed bright smiles, and he nodded. One of them winked as they passed him. “Happy New Year.”
He nodded.
Behind the door, there was silence. Time for plan B.
“Awright. Jus’...I’ll leave this for you. Okay?”
Duff unzipped his jacket, his fingers shaking, and pulled out a large envelope. After kissing it for luck, he slid it under the door, held his breath and listened for any movement. Watched for any change in the light.
The shadow moved toward the door, and hope flared in his chest like a well-struck match. One excruciatingly long minute passed and Duff couldn’t take it anymore. He knocked twice.
A second later, the door opened and his heart stopped.
She’d obviously been crying. Her eyes were puffy, and her cheeks were drawn. The knowledge that he was the reason sliced into his gut like a dull knife.
Her hair was an untamed mess of curls, spiraling out in all directions.
She wore a white tank top and the most hideous pajama bottoms he’d ever laid eyes on – SpongeBob yellow with bright pink dots that made his head hurt. He wanted to kill them. With fire.
She looked ridiculous and adorable and sad. And she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He wanted to scoop her up and kiss her pain away.
“You’ve got two minutes, and then you’ve got to go.”
Okay, so she wasn’t in the mood to forgive and forget.
“Before I turn back into a pumpkin?”
She crossed her arms, closing herself off even further, but moved to let him inside.
Not the time for jokes, you idiot.
“How did you find me? Jo?”
He nodded. And thank God she’d called him. He’d been ready to leave Inverness for his next assignment, in Kabul. Who knew when he’d be back on the grid?
“I wanted...clarification.”
She frowned. “On?”
“Where we stand.”
“I thought I made it pretty clear.”
Duff followed her further into the room, with its standard chain hotel decor. Beige carpet. Colorful, abstract prints on the walls. As good a place as any to get your hopes incinerated.
Lovie moved behind the desk, putting it between them. His envelope lay there, unopened. She crossed her arms again and stuck out her chin, but tears shimmered in her eyes.
God, he couldn’t stand to see her like that. A steel band tightened around his heart.
“Lovie-”
“What did you think this would accomplish?” She gestured to the envelope on the desk.
“Well, you havna read it, so not so much.”
“You wasted your time coming here, Duff.” She swallowed hard. “Go home.”
“No.”
In three days, Lovie had broken down every single one of his defenses and zeroed in on his fears and insecurities. She’d awakened a part of him that he thought he’d lost forever. Duff hadn’t come this far for her not to know how much she meant to him.
How much he missed her.
Needed her.
“No?” A flicker of panic showed in her chocolate brown eyes. “What do you mean no?”
“I mean no.” This was it, now or never. “Not until you read it. Aloud. To me.”
Lovie huffed out a disbelieving laugh.
“I mean it. I’m no goin’ ‘til ye read it to me.”
She looked at him as if he’d sprouted a second head, but Duff stood his ground.
“Fine.” After a brief stare-off, she snatched up the envelope, hesitating a moment before she tore the end open. Her hands shook, and Duff wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms.
Lovie gasped when she saw the photo.
He couldn’t believe that it had only been eight days since they shared that first sunset at Fort George. He’d stared at the picture for hours, memorizing every twist of her hair. Every freckle on her cheek. The way the colors exploded behind her, framing her like the work of art she was.
She cleared her throat, flipped it over, and began to read.
“To the One Who Matters.” Her eyes flickered up to his, and she took a breath before continuing.
“To the One Who Matters,
I am sorry. I should have told you everything in the beginning. Chalk it up to misguided loyalty to someone I thought was my friend. And stupidity. Mostly that last thing.”
A smile tug
ged at her lips, and she covered it with the back of her hand.
“I should have told you before we...especially after, but I didn’t. And I can’t blame it on my father or anyone else. I was just so scared - terrified - of losing you when I’d only just found you. You deserve better, and I can do better. Be better.”
The first tear fell, and Duff took a step toward her. Just one, because she held up a shaky hand.
“You are infinitely braver than I’ll ever be, and I’m a coward. I’m a coward because, now that I’ve seen what life is with you in it, I don’t know if I can do it without you. And that scares the hell out of me.”
“God...Duff...” She frowned, shaking her head.
“Keep reading,” he whispered, desperate for her to understand. He inched closer, every cell in his body screaming for him to touch her. Show her.
Lovie swallowed hard. When she resumed, her voice trembled. “I have felt every single mile that you’ve put between us. The distance has been slowly carving into me, and I can’t bear it.”
A sob broke from her throat.
“Go on. Finish it.”
She shook her head, the tears falling freely now. “I…I can’t…I-” She dropped the photo on the desk.
“It’s okay. I know what it says.” Duff moved in front of her. He was so close now that he could smell her shampoo. “It says…that…you unlocked a part of me that I never knew existed. And when you left, you took it with you.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “So, I’m here to claim what’s mine.”
“Duff-”
“You knew I would follow you, didn’t you.” He gently took her face into his hands, smoothed away her tears. “You wanted me to follow.”
She met his eyes, and Duff tried to show her everything. Everything that he was. Everything that she was to him. Everything that they could be if she wanted it.
He drew her against him and kissed her deeply. She felt like home and tasted like salted caramel. A little whimper escaped her throat before her hands came up between them and she leaned away, breathing heavily. They both were.
“You knew?”
“I…hoped.” He offered her a small smile, she looked so desperately torn. It broke his heart. “I had a little help, though.”
Lovie pinched the bridge of her nose. “Dammit, Jo.”
“It wasn’t Jo, it was you.”
“Me?” She was cute when she was so clueless. “I didn’t even know myself.”
“Let me see, what did ye say?” Duff squinted as if trying to remember. In truth, her words were carved onto his ribcage. He captured her eyes in his, so deep and soulful. “There’s a spark that happens between two people that you can’t explain. It just is. And then they’re in sync.” He smiled. “Sound about right?”
Her mouth had dropped open and she snapped it shut, the corner lifting slightly.
“That’s rude, you know.”
He stifled a laugh at her expression.
“What is?”
“Using my words against me.”
Duff pulled her close again. God, it felt so damn good to hold her. When she didn’t move away, that flame of hope in his chest became a bonfire.
“Let me stay, Lovie. For New Year’s.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing on what he knew what the softest thing he would ever taste.
“I’ll get a room here. Or at another hotel nearby,” he added quickly. “Let me stay.”
“How can we-? After everything-” She dropped her eyes away but her hands curled into his jacket, pulling him in.
“I have a feelin’...” He placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “When ye wake up tomorrow, you’ll realize that this is the beginning of somethin’ amazing, and I’d like to be here when that happens.” Her eyes closed.
“Damn.” She took a deep breath, fighting the smile on her lips. “That was perfect.”
Duff let go of the breath he’d been holding. “I rehearsed.”
His fingers discovered an exposed patch of skin at the small of her back. She was even softer than he’d remembered. How was that possible?
“You’re crazy.” She shook her head.
“About you, yeah.” Optimistic, he dipped his knees to meet her eyes. “Can I stay?”
She laced her fingers behind his neck, and Duff’s heart started beating again. She smiled at him, and he just stared. Amazed. Relieved.
Her smile faltered. “No more lies.”
“Never again.” He held her gaze. “Never. Can I stay?”
The shy smile returned to her lips. “At least until morning, but it would be better if you stayed here. Don’t you think?” Lovie placed a gentle kiss on his grateful mouth. “I have to see if this prediction of yours comes true.”
Duff touched his lips to her forehead. “God, I missed you.” He ran a hand up into her hair. Tilted her head and claimed her mouth with a slow, leisurely kiss.
Lovie wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest.
Duff held her tight, her curves molding to him. Perfect. He hoped to God he didn’t fuck this up.
He smoothed a hand over her hair. Ran his fingers up and down her back, over her shoulder. Over and over.
She sighed and pressed herself against him.
“What’s your name?”
“Huh?” Duff was busy discovering each one of the constellations on her skin. She had freckles on her freckles.
“Ginny called you C.J.”
“Oh, it’s Calum.”
Lovie leaned back, her eyes wide. “What?”
He traced the outline of her lips with his fingertip. “Calum James MacDuff.”
Acknowledgements
A big thank you to my husband, Mr. X, for not laughing (too much) when I said I wanted to try my hand at writing romance. Also, thanks to Sarah Hegger for being the other half of my brain, and to Kim Golden and Gene Doucette for their support and advice. Finally, big thanks to the Xiomaniacs for cheering me on.
By the way… Duff and Lovie’s story will continue!
~Xio
About the Author
Xio Axelrod writes love stories, sexy contemporary romance and what she likes to call “strange, twisted tales.” Bitten by the literary bug in 2003, she has self-published two volumes of poetry. Her short stories have also appeared in e-magazines such as Oysters and Chocolate. After a five-year hiatus from writing, Xio returned with the fiery web serial, Starstruck; a story about finding the right person at the wrong time.
Xio lives in Philadelphia and is married to her own alpha hero, Mr. X. Her obsessions include music, wine, languages, and way too many TV shows to mention.
You can find Xio on:
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Ello