My Friends Call Me Monster

by R. L. Stine

  We stopped at the kitchen door and listened. No sounds from upstairs. Maybe Mrs. H was still sleeping.

  We burst outside into the cool evening air. The sun was nearly down, just a red stripe behind the houses. The trees fluttered in gusts of wind.

  We didn’t say a word. We ran through several backyards, then an empty lot.

  I stopped running at the traffic light on the corner of my block. I pressed my hands against my knees, waiting to catch my breath.

  DeWayne kept glancing behind him. The air was cold, but his face was drenched with sweat. “What should we do now?” he asked.

  “We have to tell someone what we saw,” Daisy said. She gripped a streetlight. She looked pale in the white light. All of her freckles had disappeared.

  “Who can we tell?” I asked, standing up. I felt a little dizzy. “And what could we say? That we saw Mrs. Hardesty hatching a giant egg?”

  “Think people would laugh at us?” DeWayne asked.

  “Yeah. I think so,” I said.

  “We should tell Mr. Wong,” Daisy said. “He’d listen to us.”

  “He’d listen to us,” I said. “But he wouldn’t believe us. I’m not sure I believe it!”

  We stared at each other. A dark SUV rolled past with loud music blasting out the windows. Kids waved to us from the back. We didn’t wave back.

  “Let’s go home and just think about this,” DeWayne said.

  Daisy shuddered. “I won’t be able to think about anything else!” she said.

  “Wait! I’ve got it!” DeWayne cried. He tapped his head. “The Great Brain strikes again!”

  I squinted at him. “What have you got?” I asked.

  “I can explain it,” he said. “I can explain everything.”

  “Spill,” Daisy said. She turned to me. “This should be good.”

  “Mrs. Hardesty saw us,” DeWayne said. “She knew we were hiding behind the couch. So she climbed up on the egg and pretended to be hatching it just to freak us out.”

  I shook my head. “It was all a joke? Then explain this: Why does she have a giant egg in her attic? In case some kids sneak up there and hide behind her couch?”

  “And why did she fall asleep if she was goofing on us?” Daisy asked. “And why did she let us get away so easily?”

  DeWayne shrugged. “Do you think I know everything?”

  My stomach growled. “Let’s go home,” I said. “We’re late for dinner. Let’s go home and think about this. Catch you later.”

  We headed off in different directions.

  Mom greeted me at the kitchen door. “Michael, you’re so late,” she said. “Where were you?”

  “Uh … wrestling practice,” I said.

  * * *

  I got to school a little late the next morning. I dumped my jacket in my locker and looked for Daisy and DeWayne. No sign of them. I guessed they were already in class.

  “Yo, Monster!” A guy from the wrestling team flashed me a thumbs-up.

  I turned a corner — and bumped into Mr. Wong. He was in his usual pin-striped suit. But today he wore a bright red tie. Very bold.

  “Michael, what’s up?” he asked, grinning at me. “How are things going?”

  Should I tell him?

  “My friends and I saw something way weird, Mr. Wong. We saw Mrs. Hardesty climb up on a giant egg and try to hatch it.”

  No. No way. I couldn’t say it.

  “Things are okay, I guess,” I said.

  He was so short, he reached up to put a hand on my shoulder. “If you have any problems, you come to me,” he said. “And we’ll talk about it, okay? My door is always open.”

  I nodded. “Thanks,” I muttered. I didn’t know what else to say.

  He hurried away. I stood there and watched him bounce down the hall.

  Weird, I thought. Does he suspect that something is wrong with Mrs. Hardesty? Is that why he said that to me?

  * * *

  I started to walk into class. But Mrs. Hardesty stopped me at the door.

  She led me back into the hall and closed the door behind us. Her tiny round eyes stared into mine.

  “Is anything wrong?” I asked. I tried to keep my voice calm and normal.

  She didn’t answer. Just kept staring at me.

  I gazed right back at her. If she wanted a staring contest, I was up for it. I’ve never lost a staring contest in my life. I once stared so long and hard at DeWayne, he went cross-eyed!

  “I found something in my house last night,” Mrs. H said finally.

  She blinked. I won the contest.

  “I found a black cat in my bedroom,” she said. Her teeth were clenched tight. Her cheeks turned red.

  “Really?” I said. “Black cats are bad luck, aren’t they?”

  Was she buying my innocent act?

  “I stayed up all night, Michael,” she said. “All night, trying to rid my house of the bad luck.”

  I didn’t reply.

  She brought her face close to mine, so close I could smell the coffee on her breath. “Did you have anything to do with that, Michael?” she asked. She said my name as if it was something disgusting.

  I backed up against the tile wall. She kept her face right above mine.

  “Michael? Tell me the truth. Did you have something to do with bringing that bad-luck cat into my house?”

  “No way,” I said. “Of course not.”

  Her eyes — cold as ice — sent a chill rolling down my back.

  She is dangerous, I decided.

  Why was she standing so close? Why was she staring so hard?

  Was she trying to read my mind?

  I have to tell someone about her, I thought. I have to get proof so they will believe me.

  I have to find out what she’s hatching in her attic.

  I suddenly realized I had no choice. I had to sneak back up to that attic to see what came crawling out of that egg.

  “No way,” Daisy said.

  “Ditto,” DeWayne said.

  I had to chase them down the street. “You won’t come back to the attic with me?”

  “Do I look like I’m crazy?” Daisy asked. “Don’t answer that.”

  “Monster, it’s not our business,” DeWayne said. “If Mrs. H wants to hatch giant chickens in her attic, that’s her problem.”

  “But — but —” I sputtered.

  I couldn’t believe my friends were refusing to come along with me. “You’re the giant chickens!” I said.

  They both nodded. “You got that right,” DeWayne said.

  “But don’t you want to know the truth?” I asked. “Don’t you want to be able to prove to people how crazy she is?”

  DeWayne lifted two fingers to his ear. “Call me,” he said. “Call me later and tell me what you found.”

  “Yeah. Call me, too,” Daisy said. “Long distance. I’m never going near that house again.”

  They trotted away.

  Which is why I ended up in Mrs. Hardesty’s attic that afternoon all by myself.

  The back door was unlocked, just like before. I sneaked into the house and made my way up to the attic without stopping.

  I didn’t see any sign of the black cat. It was probably back outside, prowling the neighborhood.

  Dark storm clouds hung low in the sky. The attic was even darker than before. I stood beside the egg, waiting for my eyes to adjust.

  Should I lift the sheet?

  I wanted to feel the egg. Was it warm or cold? Did it feel like a regular eggshell? Could I feel a giant chicken growing inside it?

  I gripped the sheet and started to pull.

  No.

  I changed my mind. Mrs. Hardesty might notice that it was moved.

  I let go of the sheet and crossed the room. Dropping down behind the couch, I prepared to wait.

  This time, I brought two chocolate bars so I wouldn’t starve.

  I was half finished with the second bar when I heard a car door slam out in the driveway. A few seconds later, I heard the fron
t door open and close.

  My heart started to pound. My hands were suddenly cold and sweaty.

  I jammed the rest of the candy bar into my backpack. Then I pressed my back against the couch and made myself comfortable.

  After a short while, I heard Mrs. Hardesty climb the stairs to her room. She was in there a long time. I could hear her walking around.

  Maybe she isn’t coming up to the attic today, I thought.

  Maybe I sneaked up here for nothing.

  But no. After a few more minutes, I heard the attic door open. Then I heard Mrs. Hardesty’s footsteps on the creaking wooden stairs.

  I stayed frozen behind the couch until she stepped into the attic. Then I poked my head out just enough to see her.

  She had changed into the same gray sweatshirt and loose-fitting purple pants. She had her back to me. She was tugging the sheet off the egg.

  She folded it up and set it aside on the floor. Then, once again, she circled the egg slowly, running her open hand along the fat middle of the shell.

  I kept blinking in the gray light of the attic. I still couldn’t believe what I was seeing!

  Will she hatch the egg today?

  Will it EVER hatch?

  I had this sudden impulse. A crazy thought.

  I pictured myself climbing out from behind the couch. Walking over to her. Very casual-like. My hands in my pockets. A big smile on my face.

  And I’d say, “Hey, Mrs. H, what’s up with that big egg? What’ve you got goin’ on there?” And then I’d click a photo with my cell phone.

  Luckily, I held myself back.

  I mean, a dude could get in trouble for sneaking into a teacher’s house — especially if the teacher had a big secret to keep.

  So I stayed on my hands and knees. Kept myself as low to the floor as possible. And I stared in silence as my teacher climbed the egg once again and perched on top.

  She sat up there a long time without moving. I didn’t move, either.

  My arms were getting sore, and my neck felt stiff.

  Raindrops pattered the roof, and I heard thunder in the distance. The sky darkened to black, and the blackness seeped into the attic.

  I hunched there, squinting through the dim light. Watching … waiting … watching.

  My head jerked back when I heard the loud crack.

  My muscles tightened. I blinked several times, trying to wake myself up.

  Another craaaack. Louder this time.

  Mrs. Hardesty’s eyes bulged, and a smile spread over her face. She turned her body around. Wrapped her arms around the shell. And slid down to the floor.

  CRAAAACK.

  Mrs. Hardesty pumped her fists in the air. She let out a happy cheer. I could see that she was very excited.

  I heard more cracking sounds. Some soft thuds. A tap-tap-tap sound like a hammer against wood.

  A tiny wedge of the shell poked open and fell to the floor.

  I held my breath. It was so hard to stay still. This was the big moment!

  Another long CRAAAAACK.

  Another section of eggshell dropped off the egg. I could see yellow yolky stuff inside.

  And then … then …

  I slapped my hand over my mouth to keep from making a sound.

  And I stared in shock as a glistening, wet green arm poked out of the egg. Dripping with yolk slime, the scaly arm stretched itself out, then curled and uncurled its pointed claw.

  I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t blink.

  The shell cracked open. Yellow goo drained onto the floor and formed a wide puddle at Mrs. Hardesty’s feet.

  She had this strange smile frozen on her face. Her eyes flashed with excitement.

  As I stared in shock, she grabbed the wet green arm. Gently, she wrapped her fingers around its bony claw — and tugged.

  I almost screamed as the creature came tumbling out of the egg.

  It was big — as big as my neighbor’s Labrador retriever!

  It had bumpy green skin covered in thick slime, like a layer of yellow mucus. The skin reminded me of alligator skin. Or maybe lizard skin.

  “UNNNNNH. UNNNNNH.”

  It made loud, disgusting choking noises as it tried to breathe. It opened up its long snout and coughed up huge balls of yellow snot.

  Its round black eyes rolled crazily in its thin lizardy head. “UNNNH. UNNNNH.” It coughed up more snot balls and sent them plopping at Mrs. Hardesty’s feet.

  The creature stood awkwardly on its hind legs. The legs were short, like alligator legs. But the creature had a long bumpy body. And a large smooth head with a long snout.

  It stretched its front legs out. It curled and uncurled its claws. Its slime-covered head tilted and turned as it gazed around the attic.

  Then, with a hoarse cry, it stumbled back into the shell.

  Mrs. Hardesty reached out both hands and tugged it out onto its feet.

  The creature opened its long snout and whimpered. Like a baby!

  This isn’t happening, I told myself.

  I’m not hunched here on my hands and knees in my teacher’s attic, watching her hatch a giant green monster!

  “UNNNNH. UNNNNNH.” It tossed back its head and uttered more choking sounds.

  “Easy, my little baby,” Mrs. Hardesty said softly. “Easy. Let Mama help you.”

  She picked up a bath towel and began to wipe the thick mucus off the creature’s back. “There, there, little baby.”

  Little baby?!

  She was very gentle with it. It took four towels to wipe all the sticky goo off its body. She carefully wiped its legs, its claws, and its tiny black nails.

  It oohed and cooed as she toweled it down. It snapped its jaws in the air. Testing them out, I guess. I couldn’t believe it. It already had teeth!

  “Stand still, my little baby,” Mrs. Hardesty whispered. She gently plucked a big piece of eggshell off the monster’s back. Then she toweled it some more.

  She petted its smooth head for a minute or two and talked baby talk to it.

  I almost hurled when she said, “Okay, little baby, give Mama a kiss.”

  A snaky black tongue slid out of its mouth. Mrs. Hardesty leaned forward — and gave the creature a big … wet … KISS! Smack smack.

  Ohhhh, gross!

  Could it be any more sick?

  “You’re going to be a good boy,” Mrs. Hardesty said. She petted its head some more. “You love your mama — don’t you! You’re not like those nasty students.”

  Oh, wow. I didn’t want to hear any more of it. I wanted to get out of there. I was desperate to tell everyone what was going on here.

  My arms and legs were numb from not moving all that time. My back ached. My brain was spinning.

  I peeked out from behind the couch. Mrs. Hardesty had the monster by the claw. She tugged it forward slowly.

  She was guiding it down the attic stairs.

  “UNNNNH.” It coughed up a snot ball and sent it sailing onto the wall. Its legs moved awkwardly. Its big body bumped the stair railing.

  Where was she taking it?

  They were climbing down the stairs one at a time. When her head disappeared from view, I crawled out from my hiding place.

  Did I dare follow her? I had to. I had to know where she planned to keep the thing.

  I got to my feet. My legs were totally numb. I stretched, trying to get my blood flowing again.

  Silently, I tiptoed to the stairs.

  I held my breath. Moving slowly, carefully, I began to follow them.

  “I’ve GOT you!” Mrs. Hardesty cried.

  I gasped — and grabbed the banister to keep from falling.

  It took me several seconds to realize she was talking to the baby monster. Not to me.

  I forced myself to breathe again. I waited for my heart to stop pounding against my chest.

  They were out of my sight, already in the second-floor hallway.

  I made my way down the attic stairs and peered into the hall. She was leading it down to the first f
loor.

  The monster was walking more steadily now. Mrs. Hardesty gripped its claw in one hand and kept talking gently to it. I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I knew it was probably more goo-goo baby talk.

  Yucko.

  I stayed back, waiting for them to go down the stairs. I pressed myself against the wall and hid in the shadows.

  Finally, it was safe to move again. By the time I reached the kitchen, Mrs. Hardesty was already taking the monster downstairs. To the basement.

  I stepped into the doorway. The basement stairs were dark. But if she turned around, she’d see me.

  She didn’t turn around.

  I remembered that her basement was divided into two rooms. She took the monster to the door on the right. She fumbled around in her pants pocket, then pulled out a key.

  I crept down one step. Then one more.

  I couldn’t get too close. But I had to see what she was doing with the creature.

  I tried one more step. It squeaked loudly under my feet.

  I froze.

  Did Mrs. Hardesty hear it?

  No. She unlocked the door and pulled it open.

  Oh, wow. I saw a dimly lit room. And … and … at least a dozen green monsters. All of them stood on their hind legs. All of them turned to watch Mrs. Hardesty bring in the new baby.

  Mrs. Hardesty stepped into the room. They lumbered forward to greet her, grunting and mewing.

  “Hello, my babies! My cute babies!” she exclaimed.

  Cute babies?

  They were even taller than Mrs. Hardesty. Their dark green bodies were scaly and lizardy. Their jaws snapped excitedly.

  “How are all my little babies?” Mrs. Hardesty asked. She used a tender voice I’d never heard in class.

  The monsters formed a circle around her. One of them stuck its black snake tongue out and licked her face.

  She laughed. “Sweet! Sweet!”

  Then her smile faded. “Soon, I will not have to hide you away down here,” she told them. “Soon, there will be more of US than of THEM!”

  What was she talking about? More MONSTERS than HUMANS?

  A chill ran down my back. What was she planning to do with these monsters she was hatching?

  “I made a promise to Commander Xannx,” Mrs. Hardesty said. “We will succeed in our mission. We will take over this planet. And we will TRIUMPH over the weak Earthlings!”