The Candle Factory Girl

by Tania Crosse

  ‘If she can’t turn up on time, she’ll have to go hungry,’ Harold snarled back. ‘She knows the rules. Teach her a lesson.’

  ‘She’s probably with Gert and just forgot the time. I’m sure she’ll be back in a few minutes.’

  ‘Well, she’ll be too bloody late. You others, you see what happens when you disobey me?’

  Luke glanced up darkly. ‘Yes, Dad,’ he muttered. But then, driven by his shame at his usual lack of courage, he dared to go on, ‘But I’m sure Mum’s right, and Hillie’ll be back soon.’

  ‘Don’t you backchat me, or dinner’ll go the same way.’

  Luke lowered his eyes and got on with eating. Not that he wanted anything. Every morsel tasted like cardboard.

  When Hillie still hadn’t appeared by the time the younger children were in bed, Harold was pacing the floor like a caged bear. Finally he slammed his fist on the table, making the ready-laid breakfast cutlery jump in the air.

  ‘She should be bloody back by now,’ he barked. ‘I’m going to the Parkers’ to drag her home by the hair if need be.’

  Nell grasped his arm. ‘Oh, Harold, dear, don’t do that. Don’t make a scene. She doesn’t deserve it.’

  ‘I’ll be the judge of that!’

  He stormed out of the front door, slamming it behind him. A brittle silence followed, in which Nell and Luke stared at each other in horror.

  ‘D’you know where she is?’ Nell squeaked.

  Luke shook his head. But he didn’t like lying. Especially not to his mum. ‘She’s gone,’ he admitted, forcing the croak from his throat.

  He wished he hadn’t as Nell’s face drained of any colour it might have had.

  ‘Gone?’ she repeated in a whisper.

  ‘Yes, but don’t worry. She’ll be back. And when she is, she’ll be married.’

  ‘Married!’

  ‘To a bloke at the factory. The one Dad beat her up for seeing in secret. Gone to that place in Scotland. Be halfway there by now. You have to stay there for three weeks. But when she gets back, as a married woman, there’ll be trouble if Dad ever tries anything again.’

  ‘Ooo,’ Nell breathed, pursing her lips as the news percolated her stunned mind and thoughts began to chase each other around crazily in her head. It would hardly be the wedding she wanted for her darling girl. She wouldn’t even be there to witness it herself. But, oh, the relief that Hillie would be safe at last. Nell might not have met this fellow, but Hillie wasn’t daft. She wouldn’t marry him if he wasn’t a good sort. ‘Well, good for her. Oh, watch it. Here he comes.’

  The door nearly came off its hinges as Harold crashed back into the room, his puce face almost on fire.

  ‘She’s not there!’ he bellowed. ‘Neither of them are! Gone out and not told me. Well, I won’t let her out of my sight from now on.’

  ‘Don’t be too hard on her, dear,’ Nell ventured.

  ‘D’you know something?’ Harold suddenly jumped at her, grasping her wrist across the table.

  ‘Know something?’ she replied, wide-eyed with feigned innocence. ‘What d’you mean? Why should I know something?’

  ‘Huh!’ Harold let go with a jerk. ‘Well, I’m off to the pub. And she’d better be here when I get back.’

  He turned towards the door, and Nell winked at Luke behind his back. Peace for a few hours – until the fireworks really began. But Nell wouldn’t care what happened. Her little girl had done what she’d never had the courage to do. What she’d wanted Hillie to do. And now she had, Nell could be content.

  ‘Why aren’t you worried she’s not back?’ Harold demanded, shaking her awake when he rolled in after closing time. ‘You do know something, don’t you?’

  He grasped a hank of Nell’s hair, pulling her head from the pillow as she blinked her eyes awake.

  ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she managed to gasp. ‘She’s with Gert, so whatever they’re doing, they’ll be all right together.’

  ‘I don’t believe you!’ He gave her a clout that made her teeth rattle. ‘Tell me, or you’ll get what for.’

  ‘I can’t tell you what I don’t know, can I?’

  ‘You lying bitch! Always the same, you deceitful little cow! And when I think what I’ve done for you and that brat of yours, and this is how you repay me!’

  He hit her again. She went to curl up into a ball to protect herself, but all of a sudden she felt she’d reached the end of her tether. Had paid enough for her mistake. Hillie had stood up to him, and now it was her turn.

  She tried. Fought him off, slapped at his hands. Trying to catch them. It wasn’t until she managed to kick the bedcovers clear and bring her knee up where it hurt most that he fell back with an oath that turned the air blue.

  ‘Remember what I’ve done for you, too!’ she grated, and turned her back on him while he nursed his aching manhood. At least he wouldn’t want to exercise that for a while, she thought triumphantly. And as Harold went quiet and was soon lost to drunken snoring, Nell began to wonder. Her Hillie married. And who was this chap she’d been seeing? But as long as he treated her well, Nell would be happy.

  *

  Kit couldn’t sleep. He’d been tossing and turning for hours, going over the scene in his head. Gert had come to him, explaining everything, and who was he to stand in Hillie’s way, especially if it meant she would be rescued from Harold Hardwick’s clutches? Kit had worked it all out for them and got Hillie and this Jimmy Baxter on the train. The two hadn’t met since the night of Harold’s vicious attack on his daughter several weeks past now. Everything had been organised through Gert, and that evening Hillie had rushed into Jimmy’s arms, her now mended face aglow.

  Kit had remained on the platform, watching her steam out of his life forever. Well, not quite out of his life, or even out of his heart, for she’d stay there until the day he died. And that would make the pain even harder to bear. She loved Jimmy Baxter, not him. This marriage was what she wanted. Kit would have laid down his life to save her from that brute of a father. But Jimmy Baxter had got there first.

  Kit got out of bed and padded across the cold, bare floor of his bedsit to the window. Lamp posts cast their circle of grey light on the deserted street below. They’d be turned off before too long as dawn broke. By the time they came on again that evening, Hillie would be hiding out somewhere, hundreds of miles away, and in three weeks’ time, she’d be returning as Mrs Hilda Baxter. Lost to him for eternity.

  But at least she’d be safe.

  He rested his forehead against the cool, comforting glass of the windowpane. And felt his heart tear in two.

  *

  ‘Well, how does it feel to be Mrs Baxter?’

  They were sitting together on the end of the bed in the little room in the cheapest B and B they could find. But it was clean and the landlady was very pleasant. And so she should be, Jimmy had grimaced, after the wodge of pound notes he’d given her to say they’d been lodging with her for the past few weeks. As far as he was concerned, the quicker they got hitched the better, just in case Hardwick worked things out and came looking for them. And so, after just two days, one of the local blacksmiths had been happy for them to make their vows over his anvil – again in exchange for a sizeable backhander. But it had all been worth it in Jimmy’s eyes.

  Hillie turned the cheap wedding ring round on her finger. ‘Wonderful. Safe,’ she murmured. ‘Thank you, Jimmy.’

  ‘No need for any thanks,’ Jimmy answered thickly. ‘I love you.’

  He turned to her, his chocolate eyes soft with wonder as his hand caressed her cheek. She tipped her head against his palm, closing her eyes, and he drew her forward until his lips met hers. She kissed him back, loving the feel of her mouth against his. But inside her chest, her heart was thumping. She knew what she had to do, and in a way she wanted to do it. But she was also very scared.

  She kept her eyes shut as she felt Jimmy begin to undress her. She dutifully raised her arms for him to pull off her jumper, and then stood up so that he
could unzip her skirt. She felt fragile, vulnerable. But Jimmy’s own shy smile reassured her.

  ‘I don’t think I’m very good with suspenders,’ he said playfully. ‘And I wouldn’t want to ladder your stockings.’

  Hillie’s mouth curved in an uncertain smile. So Jimmy felt awkward, too. Well, that must be a first for him, she thought fondly as she removed her stockings and suspender belt, and then stood before him in her petticoat. Trembling. Shivering. Her stomach cramped. What next? Should she undress completely, expose herself, her frailty, to him?

  ‘It’s freezing in here. Shall we get into bed?’ Jimmy gulped.

  Weak with relief, Hillie dived in between the sheets. It might be less embarrassing if Jimmy couldn’t see her. But – oo! The landlady had put hot-water bottles in the bed as she had done in the separate rooms they’d had on the two previous nights. That was thoughtful. At least if Hillie was shaking, it wouldn’t be from cold.

  She pulled the blankets up to her neck, and now she watched as Jimmy undressed, her curiosity overtaking her nerves. He was slight of build, of course, with a thin chest which he sensibly kept hidden beneath his vest. He kept his pants on, too. Odd, baggy things that nevertheless couldn’t conceal his growing excitement.

  Oh, help.

  He slipped into bed beside her, and they snuggled down together to get warm. Perhaps that would be it. She’d be spared. For now, at least.

  But as they warmed up, Jimmy began to stroke her arms and his hands quickly found their way to the steep curve of her breasts. He’d touched her before, through her clothes, and a thrill of desire had slithered down her spine. But now, as he felt beneath her brassière and rolled her nipple between his fingers, she held her breath. It felt, well, not quite right. But she supposed she must grit her teeth. There was more to come. And she did love Jimmy. It must be the same for every young woman the first time, and she’d soon get used to it.

  As he kissed her, his lips moving more urgently now, he reached down to the inside of her thighs. He didn’t seem to notice her flinch. She almost wanted to push him away, but she mustn’t. This was what married couples did. And he’d rescued her from God knew what from her dad.

  Jimmy was wriggling down in the bed now, doing something to his own attire. A moment later, he was pulling off her knickers. She stiffened as his fingers briefly probed between her legs and before she knew it, he was drawing her knees apart. She had to stifle her gasp of pain as he pushed himself inside her. He wasn’t being rough, she realised that. But it still burned so much as he moved himself in and out, up and down, seemingly oblivious to anything else as he took his own pleasure. He suddenly seemed to judder and then, thank God, he withdrew himself.

  The soreness and stinging stayed with her, but it wasn’t quite as bad now. Jimmy was smiling so sweetly at her, his dark eyes melting with love. She couldn’t tell him how much it hurt. How she felt degraded. And instead she returned his smile. She’d heard women at the factory joking about it. How it got better in time. How you could even come to enjoy it. She couldn’t imagine that. But she could tolerate it. Because she loved Jimmy. Really she did. And when she thought of her poor mum being subjected to that by her dad, year in year out, and doubtless more by force and nowhere near as gently as Jimmy had her, she thanked her lucky stars.

  ‘Oh, my love, don’t cry,’ Jimmy was saying, thumbing away a tear on her cheek.

  ‘Am I?’ she asked in genuine surprise. ‘I hadn’t realised.’

  ‘I know. It’s a big thing. We’ll take it gently. Come on. Cuddle up. We need to get some sleep. Early start in the morning. We can be back at work on Wednesday. Two days off instead of three weeks. Oh, and Saturday morning, of course. But it was worth the extra money for the bribes.’

  ‘Yes.’ Hillie was feeling more relaxed now. ‘And maybe when we speak to Personnel, if we’re lucky, they’ll just dock our pay instead of giving us the sack.’

  ‘Yeah. Price’s have always been a good company to work for. Only got to think of their pension scheme for that.’

  ‘Well, I’d rather not have to think that far ahead,’ Hillie chuckled now.

  ‘Why not? Grow old together, you and me. Lots of kids and grandchildren. Might’ve been an unconventional wedding, but the rest of our life together’s gonna be great!’

  He turned out the bedside lamp, and Hillie was grateful for his comforting arm about her, holding her close. That was more like it. He made her feel safe. Yes, tomorrow they had a train to catch. And then she’d have to face the music. But her dad wouldn’t be able to hurt her again now.

  Would he?

  Chapter Twelve

  ‘Where the hell have you been?’ Harold roared as Hillie opened the kitchen door the following evening. And when Jimmy followed her into the room, she saw her father’s jaw clench so tightly she thought his teeth might crack. ‘Five bloody days! Your mother’s been frantic. Been with this bastard, I suppose? Guessed as much, seeing as he’d skived off at the same time. How dare you bring him here when I’ve forbidden you to see him!’

  Hillie braced herself. This was exactly what she’d expected, but she was ready for it. ‘You can forbid all you like,’ she retorted, eyes glinting like steel. ‘Jimmy’s my husband now. I’ve only come to get my things.’

  ‘He’s what?’

  ‘We was married yesterday,’ Jimmy informed him caustically. ‘In Scotland. All perfectly legal, so there’s nothing you can do about it. Hillie, go upstairs and get your things. We’re not staying.’

  ‘My God, I didn’t expect even do something as bloody underhand as that!’ Harold bellowed. ‘And dead right you’re not staying,’ was the last Hillie heard as she scooted up the stairs, thankful for the few minutes’ respite. As she stuffed her few belongings into two string bags, she could hear her father ranting in the room below. It didn’t take her long to gather up her clothes, toiletries and the few other bits and pieces she possessed before she hurried back down.

  Jimmy was squaring up to her father, his face grim with anger and determination. His slight form was half Harold’s size, but he was taller and had both youth and the fire of righteousness on his side. Hillie glanced across at her mother who, despite the shock announcement, appeared to be observing Jimmy with avid curiosity. The younger children gazed on, wide-eyed with bewilderment, while Luke – dear Luke who’d been in on the plan – was successfully feigning total innocence.

  ‘Well, congratulations!’ With a sudden rush of defiance, Nell sprang to her feet and hugged Hillie tightly, putting her mouth close to her daughter’s ear. ‘I knew,’ she breathed from between clamped teeth so that no one else could hear. ‘Luke told me. Good for you.’

  But before Hillie could take in her mum’s words, Harold swung round and brutally thrust his wife back down into her chair. ‘No!’ he yelled at Nell so loudly that Hillie physically cringed. ‘You’re never, ever to see her again! And if I ever catch any of you so much as talking to your sister again,’ Harold snarled, eyes stabbing at his terrified children, ‘I’ll tan your hides so hard, you won’t be able to sit down for a week. Now, get out!’ he bawled, whipping back round to Hillie and Jimmy. ‘Get out, get out!’

  ‘Don’t worry, we’re going!’ Jimmy spat with equal contempt. ‘And Hillie won’t be coming back. She’s my wife now, and if you ever try to hurt her again, you’ll have me to answer to. It’ll count as assault, and I won’t be afraid to call in the police. Remember that. Come on, Hillie, love. We’re leaving.’

  Hillie hesitated for just one moment. She wanted so much to hug her mum again, but she knew Nell would pay for it afterwards if she did. To forbid her to see her mother or her brother and sisters again was a spear in her very soul. She couldn’t even give them one last hug to say goodbye. She met Nell’s gaze, their eyes clinging, and Hillie felt her heart clench in agony as Jimmy took her hand and dragged her out of the house.

  Oh, dear Lord, what had she done? She’d saved herself, but at what cost?

  Just then, she felt like the mo
st gutless coward who’d ever walked the earth.

  *

  Gert’s warm, encompassing welcome a few moments later lifted her from her misery, slipping around her like a soft, cosy blanket on a cold winter’s night.

  ‘Oh, you’re back! Why so soon? You did actually…? Oh, what am I thinking of? Come on, come inside.’

  ‘Yes, we are married,’ Hillie assured her friend as they stepped over the threshold. But somehow the words were coming out of her mouth of their own accord. ‘Jimmy managed to charm the landlady into saying we’d already been there three weeks, with a little help from his wallet. And the same with the blacksmith who married us.’

  ‘Golly. Well, congratulations!’

  Hillie still felt numb as Gert wrapped her in a bear hug before herding them along the dark passageway to the back room. As she opened the door, the familiar scene suddenly made Hillie want to weep. Why couldn’t she just turn the clock back to when they were children? To when, apart from her dad’s strict discipline, the world had been a happy place and she’d been too young to comprehend what her mum had been going through.

  ‘Mum, this is Jimmy,’ Gert told her mother, and Hillie saw surprise register on Eva’s face as she followed her friend into the kitchen. ‘You know after Hillie’s dad came storming round here, I told you they’d gone to Scotland to get married? Well, they managed to tie the knot within a few days, so now they’re back.’

  Jimmy held out his hand. ‘Mrs Parker,’ he said with a smile. ‘We met once before, very briefly, in the park.’

  ‘So we did. Charmed, I’m sure.’

  Eva shook his hand, but Hillie thought her greeting a trifle tight-lipped. But it had been a long day and she was tired, so perhaps she was mistaken.

  ‘Jimmy,’ Stan nodded flatly, dipping his head, ‘I hope you’re going to take care of this girl of ours now you’ve taken her away from us.’

  Hillie smiled grimly to herself. It was comforting that Stan thought of her as part of his own family. If only she really had been, how differently her life would have turned out.