Zach

by Catherine Lievens

  Only then did he realize that people were talking around him and that there was a small weight sitting right on top of his head. He chuckled and released Kameron’s waist, but his mate wasn’t letting him go. Kameron grabbed Zach’s hand as they separated and Zach took a good look at what was happening.

  The white lion was out of the car and lying in the grass by the side of the house. A whole array of smaller shifters were flushed against his big body while he looked as relaxed as if being rescued from a lab and finding himself into an unknown pack of shifters was an everyday occurrence. Nick had Craig’s hands behind his back as he held him prisoner, while Andy and Duncan just looked at the rare shifters, a bewildered look on their face. It reminded Zach of what he had felt when he had entered the motel room only a few hours ago, and he couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.

  “Nick, let Craig go. He helped all of us escape.”

  Nick looked at Zach and raised a brow at him, but he obeyed, which reminded Zach that he really was the Alpha mate. Not something he liked to dwell on, but there was nothing he could do about it.

  “Care to explain what’s going on, Zach?” Kameron asked, his eyes fixed on the top of Zach’s hair. Zach smiled and raised his free hand, carefully taking the Elephant shrew from where he sat and bringing him down to his chest.

  “Tom sold me to the company, and Craig was sent to retrieve me. He works with Dominic, and it isn’t the first time he helped freeing shifters, but it’s the last. The company is going to know what happened when they find out they’re missing fifteen rare shifters.”

  “What are they?” Duncan asked, his voice full of awe as he watched what Zach now knew was a pangolin. The shifter had assumed a defensive position, folding his scaled body into a tight ball.

  “The list is way too long to do this here and now.” Zach turned to Kameron. “We need to call Dominic and tell him Craig is here, and maybe ask Jared if he can come.”

  “All right.” Kameron turned to the pile of shifters on the lawn and said, “I’m Kameron, the Alpha of the Gillham pack. You already know my mate, Zach and that is my Beta, Nick. If you need anything, come to any of us, though Duncan and Andy will be available too. You’re safe here, so you can shift if you want to.”

  “Do you think we can find enough space to have them all in the Alpha house?” Zach asked as he watched the white lion get up and step away from the other shifters before finally shifting to his human form. The man who emerged from the shift was tall with broad shoulders, and his skin was as pale as his animal counterpart’s fur was. He looked nearly albino, but his dark eyes and hair dismissed that option.

  “If they don’t mind sharing rooms, sure,” Kameron answered, and while his hand never left Zach’s he clearly was distracted by the sight in front of them.

  The lion shifter walked closer to them, and while Nick and the other two were tense, they didn’t stop him. He stopped in front of Kameron and held his hand out. “I’m Yanis. Thank you for taking us in.” Yanis’ voice was deep and rumbling, as if he had smoked too much for most of his life.

  “We wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re not the first shifters we’ve rescued. and there’s a pride, not far from here, that does the same. Their Alpha is a lion, although not a white one.”

  Yanis nodded. “I’ll help you deal with the others. We passed a lot of time together in the lab, and they trust me.” He then inclined his head to the side, showing his submission to the Alpha. Kameron merely nodded his acceptance and smiled.

  “That would be most welcome,” Zach said. “It’s going to be hard to help if they don’t shift.”

  “They will,” Yanis affirmed, and Zach was inclined to believe him, what with the way the other shifters seemed to look at him as the Alpha of their small group.

  A few other shifters shifted, but most of them stubbornly remained in their animal form. Zach and the others helped them into the house, and soon all the rooms were filled to capacity, even the upstairs ones, and Jared had come and gone. Zach was exhausted, and he could see that the other pack members were as tired as he felt. They had probably slept very little in the past day, especially Kameron, so Zach made a decision. He interrupted Kameron and Nick as they talked with Duncan and Andy.

  “Let’s all go to bed.” Kameron opened his mouth, probably to protest, but Zach was having none of it. “We’re all tired, the shifters are all comfortable and most are already asleep. We can afford to sleep for the rest night. We’ll all feel better after it and it’ll be easier to deal with everything.”

  Duncan grinned at Zach. “Look at you, kid, being all Alpha mate and shit!”

  Zach stuck his tongue out at his friend before yawning widely. That apparently helped Kameron decide that he was right, because only fifteen minutes after that the house was silent and the two of them were walking up the stairs to their room.

  * * * *

  Kameron wanted to grab Zach and hug him tight, to sleep beside him and never let him go, but his conscience wouldn’t allow him to do that until he was completely honest with his mate.

  Oh, he knew Zach was going to be angry and would probably ask that he sleep somewhere else, and that would be the nicest thing that could happen to Kameron. If things went worse, Zach could leave and refuse to see Kameron ever again. Kameron’s thoughts were already full of images of Zach walking away, of him asking to become a member of the Whitedell pride and refusing to see Kameron ever again.

  Kameron mentally groaned. Gosh, he was such a drama queen! Yes, Zach would be angry, but hopefully, he would understand. Hopefully.

  Kameron had been frozen in the same spot since they had entered the room while Zach had disappeared in the bathroom. When he came out, dressed only in a pair of boxers and a T-shirt that belonged to Kameron, he immediately noticed something was wrong, even if Kameron had hoped he would have a little more time to gather his wits and try to find a solution.

  “Kam? What’s wrong?” Zach hesitated, but he finally walked closer to Kameron and put a hand on his arm. “Do you... do you want me to sleep somewhere else?”

  Kameron hated himself for putting doubts and fear in Zach’s voice. “No, no. I just... I have to tell you something, and I know you won’t be happy when I do.” He chuckled, but the sound was far from being a happy one. “Hell, if it was only that I’d be okay, but I know you’ll probably hate me, so...”

  Zach frowned. “You’re scaring me, you know that? Did something happen while I was away?”

  “No, not exactly.” It was the contrary, really. Nothing had happened, Kameron had done nothing to find the small blond man who was standing in front of him, while Zach was helping rescue a bunch of shifters. “Why don’t you sit on the bed?”

  Zach opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He snapped it shut again and moved toward the bed, gingerly sitting on the edge of the mattress. Kameron followed him and kneeled in front of him, putting his hands on his mate’s thighs as he prayed it wouldn’t be the last time he was allowed to touch Zach.

  He thumbed the pale skin where the boxer shorts had ridden up, amazed at how the soft blond hair felt under his fingertips.

  “Kam?” Zach’s voice was trembling, and Kameron knew it was time to man-up and admit the truth before he scared his little mate half to death.

  His gaze never left Zach’s legs and his thumbs kept on stroking the soft skin there as he opened his mouth and confessed, “When I came home yesterday morning and I didn’t find you... it was like a trip in the past. It was the same feeling I had two months ago, when I came home and you were gone. You were gone and there was nothing of yours in the house, as if you’d never been here. There were no signs of struggle and no scents I could identify as belonging to someone who would hurt you, so I thought... I thought—”

  “You thought I had left, just like before.” Zach’s voice was so full of hurt it went straight to Kameron’s heart. He finally looked up, and the look on Zach’s face took his breath away. It was as if s
omeone had died, and maybe it was exactly what had just happened. Maybe their budding relationship had just died, and it was all Kameron’s fault.

  “I’m sorry, Zach. I should have known better, I should have known you wouldn’t leave me again.”

  “Yeah, you should have.” Zach abruptly stood up and Kameron let his hands fall on his legs. “Tom was right. He told me you’d think exactly that, and he was right! God, I can’t believe that...” Zach raked his hands in his hair as he searched for words Kameron was afraid to hear.

  “Zach...”

  Zach held one hand up to silence Kameron. “Don’t. I... I know it’s my fault. If I hadn’t left before, if I had insisted that you call me to tell me what was going on... it wouldn’t have happened.”

  Kameron took a deep breath before confessing the worst part of the mess he had created. He had to, even if he knew it could shatter Zach and their relationship to pieces that no one would be able to put back together. “I didn’t look for you.” Zach’s eyes snapped to Kameron’s face, a disbelieving expression on his usually soft features.

  “You...”

  “I thought you had left, and I assumed you wanted to be left alone, so I decided not to look for you. Derick ripped me a new one for that, and he made me realize how wrong I was.”

  “So you’re saying that if Derick hadn’t talked to you and if Craig hadn’t happened to be one of the good guys, right now I’d be in one of those hellish labs and no one would even have been looking for me? You—you would’ve abandoned me to the company?”

  Zach’s hands were trembling as he wrapped his arms around his chest as if to try to keep himself from falling apart. Kameron longed to go to him, to wrap him in his arms and tell him he would never let him go, not ever again, but he knew Zach wouldn’t allow him, not right now, maybe not ever.

  “I would have looked for you, but I needed time to get over what I thought was a betrayal. I... I have no excuses for what I’ve done, and I’ll be forever sorry to have done it, but I would have looked for you, Zach. I’ve been in lo—”

  “Don’t say it! Don’t you dare say that—that you love me, not after what you just told me!”

  Zach’s cheeks were flushed and a tear was sliding down the right one. His eyes were angry now, and Kameron felt a tiny bit better. He wanted Zach angry, he wanted him to fight, to yell at him. It would be easier to get over it that way, or at least he hoped so. “I’m sorry, Zach, but you know I did look for you, right? I talked with Renaldo and Harvey, but they didn’t know anything. I tried.”

  Zach snorted. “Only because Derick kicked your ass. Would you really have tried to find me if he hadn’t? Can you honestly say you would have?”

  “Yes.” Kameron was sure of it. He’d had the time to think, to analyze his feelings, and he knew he wouldn’t have renounced Zach that easily. He would have looked for Zach, if anything else to hear with his own ears that Zach didn’t want him. “I would have. I... I hope this didn’t make you change your mind about us. I know it’s going to take you some time to forgive me, and I’ll do anything I can to help you do it, but I hope you’ll still give me a chance.” Kameron held his breath. This was it. This was the moment in which he would know how bright his future would be.

  Zach sat heavily on the bed and kept his eyes on his hands. “I don’t know. I don’t want to renounce the only chance I have to have a fated mate and everything it includes, and I know we could be good together. But... I’m not sure you know that, and I don’t know if I can trust you anymore. More than anything, it hurts so much to think that you didn’t have faith in me, not even after we talked about why I did what I did. I thought you understood, but now I’m not sure.”

  Zach looked up and locked his gaze with Kameron’s. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive the fact that you didn’t want to find me.”

  Kameron knew that nothing he could say would help, not at the moment. Zach needed time to get past the pain, and no words would help him do that. “I’ll go sleep on the couch in my office.” Kameron turned around, but Zach stopped him.

  “Don’t be stupid. The bed is big enough for the two of us, and we’ll still have spare space. I’ll... I’ll just sleep on this side.” Zach slowly slid to the headboard and burrowed under the blankets, leaving only a tuff of blond hair peeking from them.

  Kameron sighed and walked to the bathroom. The fact that Zach wanted them to sleep together made him feel a bit better. It felt as if Zach was already trying to get over what Kameron had done, although it might have just been what Kameron wanted to see rather than what was happening. Only time would tell.

  Walking back to the bedroom, Kameron slipped under the sheets and looked at Zach’s back. He longed to pull the smaller man to him, to hug him tight, but he knew it wouldn’t be welcome, so he kept his hands to himself and prayed that sleep would come easy.

  * * * *

  Zach slipped out of the room before Kameron woke up.

  He wasn’t sure he could face his mate, not so soon, and he needed a little time to think, so he exited the house. The air was cool, the day just beginning. The sky was just starting to lighten, and while Zach knew he should still be in bed like everyone else, he hadn’t been able to fall back asleep once he had woken up. That was probably because he had woken nearly on top of Kameron, his arm around his mate’s waist, his head on Kameron’s chest and Kameron’s arm around him, holding him close. It had been an intimate position, one he would have been delighted to find himself in, in other conditions.

  So.

  Zach didn’t want to think about what had happened, but he wasn’t about to renounce his mating, which meant that even if he decided to wait, he was still the Alpha mate. He had to be able to work with Kameron, to talk to him without showing how hurt he was.

  The thing that hurt most was the fact that Kameron had decided not to look for him. Zach could understand why Kameron thought he had left—he had done it before, after all, and he would regret leaving forever. He knew it had been the stupidest thing he could have done—now. He hadn’t thought so two months ago, though.

  He had been so scared when Stan had come to him and had told him he was the one to procure the pills Zach had been taking, that he knew Zach was Kameron’s mate. That horrible man had threatened Zach and the people he loved, saying that if it came out, the pack would rebel against Kameron, that no one would want a gay Alpha. Stan had said Kameron would have ended up hurt, and he had implied that the inner circle might even have a hand in that, if Zach didn’t do what Stan wanted.

  Zach had soon discovered what exactly it was that Stan wanted. That douchebag had gotten Ellie pregnant, and now he couldn’t use her as a slave, he couldn’t beat her anymore, not if he wanted his son to be fine. Zach had found out that Stan had discovered that the hard way. He had beaten Ellie up one time too much, and she had bled, nearly losing her baby.

  So Zach had taken her place.

  He knew now that he should have gone to Kameron, should have told him what was happening. Kameron would have rescued Ellie and kicked Stan’s ass. Instead, it had been Zach’s ass that had been kicked, again and again, until there wasn’t a day he didn’t have new bruises.

  But it was over now, and Zach had thought he would finally be happy. Of course, he hadn’t thought Tom would kidnap him, but even that had ended well. Until he had talked with Kameron. Now Zach couldn’t help but wonder if he would be able to get over the feeling of betrayal his mate’s confession made him feel.

  “Already awake?”

  Zach jumped from where he was sitting on the porch’s stairs, one hand flying to his too-fast beating heart. “What the hell, Duncan!”

  The other wolf grinned. “Did I scare you?”

  Zach stuck his tongue out and smiled at Duncan. They had never really been friends, but then Zach hadn’t really had friends. Still, after Zach had attacked the pride and he had found Derick again, the two had grown close and had included Duncan in their outings more
than once. So Zach had become comfortable with the caramel-colored wolf. “You did. What are you doing already up?”

  Duncan shrugged. “Someone had to be on guard duty.”

  “I thought Abe and Brent were stationed around the house.”

  “Yeah, but it didn’t feel right, not after the other two let Tom pass. They didn’t even see him, for god’s sake!”

  Zach knew Duncan was one of those people who just had to do everything by themselves because when others did it, it was never right. He had a hard time believing that Duncan hadn’t exhausted himself yet.

  “Why are you out here? With what happened to you in the past few days, I would have thought you’d sleep for days.”

  Zach hesitated. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it, but he felt as if he needed a second opinion, one that wasn’t biased, that was more objective than his was. “I talked with Kameron before we went to bed.”

  “You two started talking in the middle of the night instead of going to bed? What’s wrong with you guys?” Duncan shook his head, a fake disgusted expression on his face. It actually felt good to have someone who didn’t take everything so seriously. “Especially that conversation.”

  “You know what we talked about?”

  “Not really, but I’m not stupid. I can make a pretty good guess what it was about. I’ve been here with Kameron since Tom took you.”

  “So you know he didn’t look for me, not right away. You know he thought I had left him again.”

  “Yeah. I guess you didn’t take it that well?”

  Zach snorted. “How would you take it if your mate decided to leave you into the company’s hands?”

  Duncan clasped his hands behind his back and looked at the newborn sun that was peeking at the horizon line. “Have you tried looking at it from Kam’s point of view?”