Chasing Yesterday

by Shiralyn J. Lee

  Heather and Jessie saddled up their horses and leaving Livy to do her chores, rode out of the stable.

  •••

  Jessie had been pretty quiet as they rode out to check on the cattle, so Heather allowed herself this time to take in the beautiful surroundings and enjoy them. She liked to listen to the creaking sound of the leather saddles and the horses snorting—it brought back memories of her own upbringing.

  After feeding the herd they headed to the west and rode along the boundary, checking that the fencing was in good condition.

  “You don’t like to talk much, do you?” Heather finally said.

  “I have my reasons.”

  “Okay…if we are to work together, then it would be a good idea if there was some sort of conversation between us, don’t you think?”

  “Nope! I’m sure you can do your job just as good whether I talk or not.”

  Heather lightly tapped the reins on Summer’s neck and brought him around Jessie and her horse—blocking them from continuing. She grabbed hold of Jessie’s reigns and pulled Paint to a stop. “You really don’t have to be like this with me. I do understand that you’ve had some crap going on in your life but you don’t have to shut me out. I can be a good friend to you, but only if you allow me to.”

  Jessie dismounted her horse and still holding the reigns she leaned over the fence—her elbows rested on the top rail and her face cupped by the palms of her hands. “I don’t need any friends. What I do need is to get this ranch running smoothly, that’s what you’re here for.”

  Heather dismounted her horse and joined Jessie by leaning on the fence. “We can make a good team, you and I, if you let us. But I can’t do it if you keep up with this silent hardened attitude toward me.”

  Jessie lowered her head and looked down at the ground. “I keep my walls up so I don’t get hurt, I can’t go through life anymore constantly being hurt, you need to accept that, or move on.”

  “Well then, let some joy into your soul before you turn out to be a bitter lonely old fool who looks back at her life and wonders just what the hell happened.”

  Jessie smirked. “I don’t think I will ever be a fool…but bitter? I think I’ve been that all my life.”

  “Then do something about it and change it!”

  “And just what do you expect me to do to change it?”

  “I don’t know, Jessie. Maybe act on impulse once in a while. Shit! Just be human.”

  Jessie slapped her hands flat over her eyes and rubbed them hard. She had always been a deep thinker and acting on impulse was far from her character. “You want me to do something, then I will…” She removed her Stetson hat and threw it down on the ground, then lunged toward Heather—placing her hand to the back of her head, she pulled her toward her and without any warning she parted her lips and kissed Heather’s firmly. “Is that impulsive enough for you?” she asked pulling away.

  Heather was stunned by Jessie’s behavior. She felt her lips with her forefinger by running it along where they had just been touched. “You had me at a disadvantage.”

  “What? Did you want me to buy you dinner first?”

  “I’m just surprised that you chose to kiss me. I’m not complaining, I rather liked it.”

  Jessie shook her head and smiled. She picked up her hat and remounted her horse and rolled her eyes skyward. “Look, there’s an eagle flying above us.”

  Heather was bothered by Jessie’s lack of compassion toward her. She remounted Summer and lightly kicked her heels into his side. “Well, it seems as though the fencing is in fact intact.”

  Jessie nodded her head.

  •••

  They had been out riding for almost three hours before heading back to the ranch, where arriving back, they were greeted by Livy, who had finished mucking out the stables, fed the horses and groomed them down. “Would it be okay if I ride Autumn?” she asked—the dental braces causing her to have a lisp.

  “Ride her out in the paddock, let’s see how you get on first,” Jessie told her.

  Livy raced back to the stable to saddle up Autumn. “Oh, thank you,” she called out over her shoulder.

  Heather dismounted Summer and took the reins from Jessie who walked across the driveway to open the gate to the paddock for Livy.

  After walking the two horses into the stable and removing their saddles and reins, Heather joined Jessie, who had made herself comfortable sitting on the fence. They watched Livy ride confidently and jump over the low jumps.

  “Good job, Livy,” Heather called out to her, clapping her hands.

  Livy smiled excitedly and waved as she enjoyed her ride. She had a good half-an-hour practice before her mother returned to pick her up.

  Heather jumped down from the fence to greet her at her car, leaving Jessie to look on. She rested her arms on the opened window as Edie sat behind the wheel of the car. “Your daughter’s done a great job, Edie. Her passion for the horses will be a great asset to this ranch and I hope that she is able to continue helping out here. Maybe in time she will get paid for her work…once we have been able to establish and build the business back up.” She turned her face to look at Jessie and then turned back to Edie. “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. It was awkward, you do understand, don’t you?”

  Edie opened the driver’s door and stepped out. She had changed out of her flowy white dress and had opted for a lavender colored wrap dress and low-calf cowboy style boots. She removed her dark large-framed sunglasses from her face and propped them on her head to hold her hair back. “So does this mean that I’ll be seeing more of you?” she asked quietly.

  Heather was unsure of what she meant by that remark and chose not to comment on it. “Why don’t you come and watch your daughter ride and jump, she’s really good at it?”

  Edie brushed herself down to eliminate any creases or wrinkles in her dress. “Yes, I’ve seen her ride many times when I took her to riding lessons over at Don Richard’s stables. She’s quite focused.”

  Jessie found herself watching Heather and Edie as they were so engrossed in their conversation. She sensed that there may be something other than a mother talking about her child going on. Her crush for Edie had dispersed a long time ago but she still felt as though, in a strange kind of way, that if Heather was to make any kind of move on her, she would feel the full force of jealousy. The point being that she wouldn’t know if her jealousy would be toward Edie, or Heather. She had made a stupid fool out of herself with the kiss she had surprised Heather with and now wished that she could take it back. With everything going on in her life, she really didn’t need to add any more unwanted drama to it. She jumped down from the fence and called to Livy that she was welcome to ride as long as she wanted to.

  Heather and Edie stopped talking as soon as Jessie approached them. “Afternoon, Edie,” Jessie said, as she tipped her hat and peered over the top of her sunglasses.

  “Hello, Jessie.”

  “Changed your outfit, I see,” Jessie said continuing past them and on her way to the house.

  As soon as she was out of sight, Edie took the opportunity to speak to Heather in a direct manner. “I need to speak with you in private…away from Livy and Jessie. Is there anywhere that we can go without being watched?”

  Heather looked over at the stable. “Behind there,” she said directing Edie with her eyes.

  Edie turned to look behind her. Seeing Livy riding and jumping, she saw that Heather was looking beyond the stable building. “Okay,” she said, assured in her own mind that behind the building would be private enough.

  “Hi, mom,” Livy called as she rode around.

  “Hi, Livy. Be careful, I don’t want you falling off, okay.”

  At the back of the stable was a part of the building that protruded out and was in full shade from the sun. Heather led Edie behind, where they could have complete privacy. It was cooler in the shade and a slight breeze had caused Edie’s nipples to become erect and showed beneath the simple dress.

 
; “So what could be so important that you need to speak to me in private?” Heather asked her.

  Edie peeked out to make sure that no one was coming. “I think that you walking out on me was a little harsh, don’t you?”

  “Okay, I realise that I might have left things awkwardly between us but it was an impulsive moment that shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry if I led you on, that was not my intension…well it was but then something, or someone brought me to my senses. Not that you aren’t a beautiful woman and any other time I would have jumped at the chance.”

  Edie didn’t want to hear the rejecting words that she was being fed. Instead, she tugged at the tie that held the wrap part of her dress together and allowed the dress to fall open. Her breasts showed as the material fell to the sides—her nipples still erect. “Don’t make me feel like a fool again. I know that I’m older than you but I’ve kept my body in good shape…look, not a stretch mark in sight.” She grabbed hold of Heather’s hand and placed it on her stomach.” “Feel my skin. Feel how smooth and silky it is.”

  Heather yanked her hand away from Edie’s hold and took a step back. “You need to do your dress up, Edie. This isn’t right. Livy could walk around the corner at any moment and I’m not being paid to pleasure myself with you when I should be working.”

  Edie gripped hold of her open dress and pulled at it to cover her breasts. “It’s not about being right and I doubt that Livy will even get off that horse without being told to first. Do you not even know how embarrassing this is for me to throw myself at you? Just look at me! I’ve spent most of my adult life either seeing to a man’s needs, bringing up my daughter and running my business working every hour under the sun. When is it going to be my turn to have some fun?”

  “I’m not denying that you’re a beautiful woman. You are. I had an attack of last minute morals. Edie, I’m not the one who can offer you a life away from what you have. Jesus, you don’t even know me…hell! I don’t even know you.”

  Edie, her face turning crimson, expressing shame, looked down at herself and realising that she had made a huge mistake, rapidly tied her dress back up. She stepped out of the shade and into the sunlight and marched back around to the front of the building. With her stiffened body she looked over the fence at her daughter, who was clearly enjoying her time with Autumn. “Livy!! Get down from that damn creature now and get into the car!”

  Livy, turned Autumn around to face her mother and trotted him over to the fence. “What’s wrong, mom?”

  “Now! Livy.” She yelled and carried on marching to her car, where she angrily whipped the driver’s door open and got inside. She turned her music on loud and waited for Livy to join her. Not finding her daughter to be fast enough, she sounded the horn and yelled Livy’s name.

  Livy dismounted Autumn and tied him to the fence. Heather came running to the front of the stable but Livy was already in the car. Edie put it in reverse and sped the car back—turning the wheel hard, she maneuvered the car to face the direction of the driveway and then screeched the tires as she sped off—the wheels churning up a cloud of dry dust as she drove off.

  Heather stood with her hands on her hips and shook her head disapprovingly. “Oh Heather King, how do you get yourself into these situations?”

  •••

  Chapter Eight

  Several weeks had passed, and during that time Livy had gotten her father to drive her out to the ranch and pick her up afterwards. He never got out of the car to speak with either Jessie, or Heather but Livy had informed them both that his behavior was normal, as he acted like this with everyone he had no financial interest in.

  In the meantime, Jessie had brought down her defense walls with Heather and a friendship had started to build between them.

  Heather had just eaten her breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast and was washing up her plate when Jessie walked into the kitchen. “Coffee’s made if you want some.”

  Jessie had taken a shower—her hair was still wet as she liked to dry it naturally. She opened the wall cupboard door and grabbed a mug, then poured herself some coffee. “I really need this today.”

  Heather looked over at her. “You’re drinking it black?”

  “Sure. I need to be alert. It’s the trial today.”

  “Oh, Gus Jackson. I’m sure that they’ll do the right thing and send him down for a while. Are you okay?”

  Jessie sat down at the table and slurped down some of her coffee. She sighed. “I suppose I have to be, don’t I?”

  Heather sat in the seat next to her and sympathetically patted her knee. “You’re not on your own here, you do know that?”

  “Do I? I don’t know what I see, or feel anymore. My head is a mess. I didn’t know that it was possible to feel this numb.”

  Heather sat back in her chair and rested her elbow on the table and supported her head in the palm of her hand. “I do still think about that kiss you gave me, you know.”

  Jessie took a long gulp of her coffee. “Do you?” she asked sheepishly, her eyes maintaining a lowered gaze toward the table.

  “Yes.”

  “Damn, I can’t think about that now.”

  Heather leaned forward and replaced her hand back on Jessie’s knee. “I’m not asking you to think about anything. In fact, I think I prefer it when you act on impulse.”

  Jessie—her eyebrow raised, glared at her. “I don’t know why I did that.”

  “Jessie, you don’t need to analyse everything that you do. Sometimes we push ourselves with our subconscious minds because we can’t see past the reality. I don’t know if I’m making any sense to you.”

  Jessie leaned forward—her face just inches away from Heather’s. “I don’t do one night stands and I certainly don’t want to put myself in a relationship where I’m going to get hurt again.”

  “Jesus Christ, just kiss me,” Heather told her.

  Jessie lightly pressed her lips against Heather’s. Heather closed her eyes and reciprocated the kiss. Prising their mouths apart, Jessie looked directly into Heather’s eyes, she brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear and smiled at her. “Don’t make me regret this.”

  Heather smiled back and moved in for a second kiss, sweeping her lips over Jessie’s. “I have no intention of hurting you.”

  •••

  Later that morning the two of them woke from a sleep after having had their first sexual encounter together. Jessie laid on her back, her eyes focused on the bare wooden ceiling above her. Heather laid on her side, her one leg draped over Jessie’s legs, her arm draped over her body and her face nuzzled into Jessie’s neck and shoulder. She toyed with Jessie’s hair playfully. “Now do you feel less stressed?”

  Jessie took Heather’s hand and raised it to her mouth—she kissed the palm. “It helped.”

  Heather smiled.

  Jessie leaned over her side of the bed and checked the time. “Shit, I’ve gotta go.” She jumped out of bed and raced to dress in a cotton flower top and a pair of black jeans. She sat on the edge of the bed and slipped her socks and boots on and then leaned back to give Heather a kiss. “I’ll see you when I get back from the courthouse.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

  “No. I need you here taking care of this place, and make sure that Blue gets fed. He’s probably wondering what the hell we were doing up here.”

  Heather propped herself up on the pillow. “I’ll make sure, now get out of here and good luck.” She threw one of the pillows at Jessie as she left the room.

  “Hey, I know what you just did,” Jessie called from the stairs as she quick stepped it down them and out of the house—giving Blue a quick pat on his head as she marched past him on the porch.

  Heather got up out of bed and put on a long t-shirt. She made her way downstairs and opened a can of meat for Blue and placed it down on the porch in front of him. He got up from his relaxed pose of laying on his back and ate his food.

  Heather then picke
d up her pack of cigarettes and lighter and went out to sit on the porch swing, where she sat and lit up a smoke. She rested her feet up on the railing and rested her head on the back of the swing, drawing in and exhaling the smoke from the cigarette. Her grin crossed her face.

  •••

  Jessie drove into town, she was so nervous about seeing the man who had killed her grandpa that she had bitten her nails right down to the tips of fingers. She turned into the high street and parked her truck just down the road from the courthouse.

  Travis had seen her from outside the courthouse and ran across the street to meet with her. “He’s pleading guilty just as he said he would, Jessie. I’m sure that the judge won’t take long in deciding his sentence.”

  “It had better be a long one, that’s all I’m here for. I need to hear it for myself.” She continued to walk across the street with Travis at her side. “Gus fucking Jackson had better not get away with this.”

  “He’s real sorry for what he did, I know Gus and he’s a decent guy most of the time,” Travis told her.

  “Sorry doesn’t bring my grandpa back, does it?”

  “Just don’t do or say anything that could make things worse, Jessie, that’s all I’m saying.”

  Jessie stopped dead in the street and cut Travis a sharp cold stare. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not the one on trial for murder here. You should try and listen to yourself at times, I’m the victim, it would be nice if you could remember that once in a while.”

  “I know that, Jessie. I’m just trying to keep the peace. Gus will pay for what he did, I just think that there’s no use in trying to make him feel any worse than he already does.”

  They entered the courthouse and Jessie sat on the first seat in the back row. The judge entered the courtroom and everyone stood up until he sat down.