Buzzing Easter Bunnies

by Nick Spalding

  Matt contrives to look innocent of the charges laid before him. 'No. I said I hadn't done that again.'

  'Are you sure Matthew?' Breaking out the full Christian name is a sure sign I mean business.

  'Well...'

  'Oh for crying out loud!'

  'No, no wait. Alright, I confess I may have been on a couple of relationship forums, but I think I've got it right this time.'

  'How Matt? How have you got it right this time?'

  'Because this time, I'm going to follow my heart, instead of my head. That's the advice I got on the forum. Keep it simple, stupid! No bullshit, no gimmicks. I just want to tell you... tell you one thing.'

  'What, Matt? What are you trying to say?' Judging by how pale he's suddenly become, it doesn't sound like it's going to be good.

  Matt clears his throat. 'I know this is a bit out of the blue, and I know we haven't been together that long... but I love you Christina. With all my heart.'

  I am, needless to say, completely fucking taken aback by this.

  Our relationship has largely been based on sex thus far, so to hear those three little words come out of Matt's mouth is very surprising.

  Surprising, but also very pleasing, I'm delighted to say.

  I've known this boy for just four months, but they've been four great months - by and large. Okay, the whole Barrycock incident was a low point, and my thigh still doesn't feel quite right after the acute cramp, but both of those things only came about because I've finally met a man who cares about me. Matt's silly plans to help me reach an orgasm may have gone awry, but his heart has constantly been in the right place throughout. He's made an effort to put a smile on my face each and every moment we've been together. Which is rather marvellous when you think about it.

  I come to a sudden and blinding realisation.

  'I... I love you too, Matt,' I tell him, my voice cracking.

  'You do?'

  I roll the lovely pendant between my fingers. 'Yes. Yes, I do.'

  He actually looks surprised. 'Oh... good! Good stuff!' he clears his throat again and looks around the kitchen. 'Er... not entirely sure what to do now. Never really been in love before... not with someone who loves me too, anyway.' He scratches his ear. 'It's a bit weird, to be honest.'

  'Oh, come here, you big idiot,' I say, and put my arms around him.

  'Can I... can I kiss you again?' he asks.

  'If you love me, you'd better had, before I start to think your heart's not really in it.'

  Matt's eyes go wide, he takes a deep breath, and immediately plants his lips back on mine.

  For reasons which should be obvious, this is the best kiss we've ever shared.

  There are more kisses in the kitchen over the next few minutes, followed by even more in the hallway.

  The kisses are then punctuated by the removal of outer clothing on the landing, and the removal of underwear on the bed.

  Before I know it, I find myself having sex with a man who is in love with me. And it is wonderful.

  Like Matt said, this time there are no gimmicks, no toys, no costumes, and definitely no third parties. Just me and the man I've fallen in love with. This is exactly the way it should be.

  It's not long before Matt is reaching the point of no return.

  I've been in this particular situation before of course - with a man deep inside me, about to orgasm. Prior to this moment though, it's always been the point at which I've been left tragically left behind to fend for myself.

  But tonight, things are very different.

  I am in love.

  Probably for the first time.

  The orgasm, when it comes, is powerful, long, and decidedly toe-curling.

  It is also the easiest and most natural thing that's ever happened to me.

  The End

  About the author:

  Nick Spalding is an author who, try as he might, can't seem to write anything serious.

  Before becoming a full-time author, he worked in the communications industry, mainly in media and marketing. As talking rubbish for a living can get tiresome (for anyone other than a politician), he thought he'd have a crack at writing comedy fiction - with a very agreeable level of success so far, it has to be said. Nick has now sold over one and a quarter million books, and still can't quite believe his luck.

  Nick lives in the South of England with his wife. He is in his forties - and is rather annoyed at the universe because it gave him no choice in the matter; he also suffers from the occasional bout of insomnia, is addicted to Thai food, and still thinks Batman is cool.

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