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Matchmaker's Guidebook

Page 5

by Kristi Rose


  WHO ARE YOU?

  * * *

  What is a motto or creed that you live by?

  Acta non verba. Actions not words.

  * * *

  What is your ideal rest day?

  Saturday

  * * *

  What is your most embarrassing moment?

  On my 16th birthday, when I entered the cafeteria, Lizzy forced me onto a table and had the football players lead the entire cafeteria at our high school to sing “Happy Birthday” to me. I wanted to die, but it made Lizzy happy so I suffered through it. And of course, it did make me laugh.

  * * *

  Do you believe that you are a fun person?

  I wouldn’t say that I’m fun, but I enjoy laughing and prefer to surround myself with those who are likeminded. Like my sister, Lizzy.

  * * *

  Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Twenty?

  Running a non-profit charity of my own, preferably to help children or the elderly.

  * * *

  When do you want to retire?

  I’m in no hurry. Work is good for the spirit.

  * * *

  What does retirement look like to you?

  Enjoying home and hearth.

  * * *

  What kind of lifestyle do you want after retirement? (Active, laid-back, etc.)

  Healthy. Gardening and walking outdoors

  * * *

  Do you have a retirement account?

  Yes. One should always plan ahead.

  * * *

  How do you invest? (conservative, aggressive, etc.)

  Conservative, of course.

  * * *

  Do you smoke?

  No

  * * *

  What are your strengths?

  Patience, forgiveness, perseverance.

  * * *

  What are your weaknesses?

  Oversensitivity, judgement of others, stubbornness. Some say my stubbornness is my strength and my weakness.

  * * *

  WHAT DO YOU WANT?

  Do you consider intimacy more important than love?

  No. Love is more than intimacy. It is an action. Even when times are hard, I would want my partner to love me. This often requires sacrifice on both partners, not just a feeling of romance. True love is loving no matter what through actions not words.

  * * *

  How often do you expect intimacy?

  As often as the mood strikes. Hint: I can be wooed with chocolate.

  * * *

  List four things you require in an intimate relationship.

  1. Honesty

  2. Loyalty

  3. Humor

  4. Kindness

  * * *

  If you don’t connect with someone right away, do you give them more chances to grow on you or do you move to the next person?

  I’d give them a second chance. Everyone deserves one.

  * * *

  Why are you using a matchmaker?

  I struggle with getting to know who people really are in person as I’m a bit of an introvert.

  Jane’s questionnaire was completed by Juliette Cross

  9

  George Wickham

  Nickname: Geo

  *** Speak Easy App Disclaimer***

  This questionnaire was completed by the speech to text app, Speak Easy, any errors or intelligible words are not a result of the app but the person’s inability to speak.

  GENERALITIES

  GENDER: Male

  NATIONALITY: American

  OCCUPATION: Actor

  * * *

  “Mike, as my agent I try to listen to your wisdom but I think this idea is stupid. I don’t want a wife unless she’s loaded and willing to let me be. Or super hot. Preferably both. So you should fill this thing out. It’s like a billion pages of questions, it makes my eyes hurt.” ………….……

  “What? I’m not being a baby. That’s just mean, man.”……..

  “If you think improving my image is what it’ll take tomato it big, then I’m on board. Though are you sure women don’t like playboys?”…….

  “You’re going to stay on the line and help me fill this out. Hold on, let me find the record button. I thought I’d do speech to text. Make it easy.”………….

  “What? of course it’s not on right now. Ready. Let me read the questions.”…….

  “Jeez, the first question is about faith, you think I should go with honesty there?”

  * * *

  ATTRACTED TO:

  SAME SEX

  OPPOSITE SEX Yes, Please

  BOTH

  NOT SURE

  * * *

  FAITH

  Do you belong to any religious organization, sect, or cult? Please list your denomination below.

  DENOMINATION: “Though I’m not a church going man I believe that the good book gives a nice outline of how one should live their life.”

  * * *

  How often do you go to church, synagogue, or other?

  Would you be willing to date someone outside your faith?

  “Date outside my faith? What does that mean?”

  * * *

  MARRIAGE/FAMILY

  Are you seeking a life partner?

  “Heck, no. I mean. Not right now. I read that men aren’t ready to be good playmates, I mean partners until they’re almost 40. I’d hate to do a woman wrong by not being what they expect because I wasn’t biologically ready. I’d like to find a nice woman to date. Maybe start with a relationship that can last more than a few weeks.

  * * *

  Do you want a family? How many children?

  “Let’s be honest here. Again, I’m biologically not mature enough to be a father. I think about it but I know my body isn’t ready.”

  * * *

  ***EASY SPEAK*** Double tapping P (pause) will un-pause the recording. Quick flashing light means its recording and slow pulsing light means its paused. Thank you.***

  * * *

  PPPPPPPPPPPPPP

  “Is this thing broken? I think it’s recording now. It’s flashing. What should I say about holidays?”

  * * *

  How would you prefer to spend your holidays?

  (Mountains? Beach? Hotel/amusement parks? Camping/hiking/backpacking? With family?)

  “I prefer my holidays to be lavish, relaxing events. I work hard and should be able to let my hair down on holidays. I don’t have a family so there’s no expectations to spend time with them. Do people really camp?”

  * * *

  How do you feel about relatives visiting?

  “Yeah, you’re right, Mike. I’ll lay on the sob story.”……….

  “Um, so both my parent’s are dead and I was an only child. I’m alone. I never got to know what it felt like to have family visit.”

  * * *

  How would you manage family order? (i.e. Who would be in charge of what? Money/finances? Kids? House?)

  “I would hire someone or let my partner do it all. That’s for everyone best.”

  * * *

  “Crap, now it wants to know my motto. Give me something good like five scored and seven years ago… What is four scores? What are you talking about. What war? I just want something inspirational. Like maybe, Be stronger than your strongest link.”……..

  “Well give me a better one. Genius. You act like you belong to that menstral group. All smart people.”

  “What’s Mensa?”

  * * *

  WHO ARE YOU?

  What is a motto or creed that you live by?

  “Hold tight to today, tomorrow is not a guarantee.”

  “What does that even mean, Mike?”

  * * *

  What is your ideal rest day?

  “Why can’t I mention alcohol? Oh, all right. My ideal day is one I’ve never experienced yet. I’ll let you know when it happens.”

  * * *

  What is your most embarrassing moment?

  “This might be my most embarrass
ing moment.”

  * * *

  Do you believe that you are a fun person?

  “This one is easy. I’m a fabulous person. I love to have a good time. Life of the party. Laughing makes me feel good.”

  Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Twenty?

  “I see my self as a well paid, well known actor doing what I love. When I squint my eyes I can see someone there with me. A special someone. Maybe she has blonde hair. Or dark. It’s hard to tell because I’m squinting and she’s way in the back.”

  * * *

  When do you want to retire?

  “I’d retire now if I could afford it.”

  * * *

  What does retirement look like to you?

  “It looks like doing whatever it is I want. Skydiving, surfing, swimming with sharks, or staying in bed all day. It looks awesome.”

  * * *

  What kind of lifestyle do you want after retirement? (Active, laid-back, etc.)

  “See above. I’m blowing through these Mike, they’re easy. What do you mean I should give it more thought. I’m going with gut here. Honesty. That’s what chicks want.”

  * * *

  Do you have a retirement account?

  “Um…I should skip this one, right?”

  * * *

  How do you invest? (conservative, aggressive, etc.)

  “Skip.”

  PPPPPP “I think its paused.”

  * * *

  Do you smoke?

  “I’m smoking hot. Does that count?”

  “Okay, I’m kidding. No, I do not smoke tobacco.”

  * * *

  What are your strengths?

  “My arms, legs, and face. I have a clever mind, too.”

  * * *

  What are your weaknesses?

  “Pretty girls and fast cars?” …………..

  “I’m leaving it. Anyone can look me up on the web and see that about me.”

  * * *

  WHAT DO YOU WANT?

  Do you consider intimacy more important than love?

  “Aren’t they the same thing?”……

  “Look that up for me, Mike.”

  How often do you expect intimacy?

  “I like sex. I’d like to have it whenever I can.”

  * * *

  List four things you require in an intimate relationship.

  “Money, good looks, good sense of humor, and connections. These are the truths. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. Everyone wants the same things.”

  * * *

  If you don’t connect with someone right away, do you give them more chances to grow on you or do you move to the next person?

  “If it’s Christmas and I’ve been drinking. I might be more forgiving then.”

  * * *

  ***SPEAK EASY*** Program ended. Questionnaire timed out.

  * * *

  *E.B. NOTES: Ah, I’m not sure what to say. First, I think I need to speak with Anne about a less confusing speech to text app. But if I needed another piece of evidence to indicate my shortsightedness and uncharitable behavior toward William Darcy-this would be it.

  10

  Charles Bingley

  Nickname: Chaz

  GENERALITIES

  GENDER: Male

  NATIONALITY: American

  OCCUPATION:

  * * *

  ATTRACTED TO:

  SAME SEX

  OPPOSITE SEX XX

  BOTH

  NOT SURE

  * * *

  FAITH

  Do you belong to any religious organization, sect, or cult? Please list your denomination below.

  * * *

  DENOMINATION:

  I was raised Lutheran. I may not attend as often as I should be I carry that foundation with me. it is a core to who I am as a person and member of society.

  * * *

  How often do you go to church, synagogue, or other?

  Would you be willing to date someone outside your faith?

  Yes, I am willing to date someone out of my faith.

  * * *

  MARRIAGE/FAMILY

  Are you seeking a life partner?

  Yes. Someone who sees me and not Caroline’s brother or Chaz with money. Someone soft and gentle in nature.

  * * *

  Do you want a family? How many children?

  Yes please. I will be thankful for what I am given.

  * * *

  How would you prefer to spend your holidays?

  (Mountains? Beach? Hotel/amusement parks? Camping/hiking/backpacking? With family?)

  I love my family. AS odd as they may be. I’m also easy enough that all these options appeal to me. I rule nothing out. I enjoy being around people that I love and care for so I suppose anywhere with them works for me.

  * * *

  How do you feel about relatives visiting?

  As I expect my family to visit - often- I would never begrudge that on my spouse. Her family can visit as often as they’d like as well.

  * * *

  How would you manage family order? (i.e. Who would be in charge of what? Money/finances? Kids? House?)

  I would like all of these to be done in harmony as join decisions. A true partnership.

  * * *

  WHO ARE YOU?

  What is a motto or creed that you live by?

  What you give out is what you get in return

  * * *

  What is your ideal rest day?

  Any day that I laugh is restful for me

  What is your most embarrassing moment?

  I was watching once with my friends and I bent over to grab a line and my pants split right down the backside. Unfortunately, I did not have a second layer underneath.

  * * *

  Do you believe that you are a fun person?

  Yes, I like to think so.

  * * *

  Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Twenty?

  Married. With children. Maybe I have a quiet law practice. Maybe I’m retired from law and running my family’s business. I will go the way my life needs at the time.

  * * *

  When do you want to retire?

  When it’s best for everyone. I’ve done a decent job of investing and could retire in twenty years - easily.

  What does retirement look like to you?

  It looks like family time. Maybe taking a child to college for the first time. Learning to be an empty nester? All those things.

  * * *

  What kind of lifestyle do you want after retirement? (Active, laid-back, etc.)

  Actively and laid back. I’d like to travel.

  * * *

  Do you have a retirement account?

  Of course

  * * *

  How do you invest? (conservative, aggressive, etc.)

  Conservative with some risk.

  * * *

  Do you smoke?

  Nope.

  * * *

  What are your strengths?

  I’m a good listener. I’m a good friend. I’m loyal.

  * * *

  What are your weaknesses?

  I sometimes put too much importance on the words of my closest friends. I want everyone to be happy.

  * * *

  WHAT DO YOU WANT?

  Do you consider intimacy more important than love?

  No.

  How often do you expect intimacy?

  As often as it naturally occurs.

  * * *

  List four things you require in an intimate relationship.

  1. Honestly

  2. Good sense of humor

  3. Mutual respect

  4. A gentle soul

  * * *

  If you don’t connect with someone right away, do you give them more chances to grow on you or do you move to the next person?

  Yes, I believe in second chances.

  * * *

  Why are you using a matchmaker?

  Well, to be honest, I was cajoled into doing it. By b
oth my sister and best friend and by my pride. There was a moment that I wondered if I was enough for someone and so I filled this out expecting it to tell me the answer- the one I already know.

  11

  Elizabeth Bennet

  Nickname: Lizzy

 

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