Boyfriend Shopping: Shopping for My BoyfriendMy Only WishAll I Want for Christmas Is You

by Earl Sewell

  This makes sense, because Lance has type 1 diabetes and has to take two insulin shots a day to keep his blood levels normal. And because of his condition, he has to eat healthy foods or else he’ll get sick and could possibly go into a diabetic coma.

  “So how long were you two in the shelter at the same time before you moved out?” I asked.

  “For about a month and a half...”

  I sit down heavily on my bed. My mind is reeling, trying to wrap itself around everything that Tiffany just told me. But before I can completely process it all, there’s more. Tiffany tells me about a day when they were both living at the homeless shelter, and Lance collapsed because he hadn’t been eating right. He had to be rushed to the hospital to have his blood-sugar levels stabilized. With everything I’ve learned today, I feel like a complete jerk for the way I have treated Lance these past couple of months, and Tiffany, too. However, I am mature enough to admit when I’m wrong and when I have to make amends.

  “I’m sorry, Tiffany,” I say, reaching out to give her a hug.

  “It’s okay,” she says, hugging me back. “Under the circumstances, I probably would have thought the same thing.”

  eighteen

  I tossed and turned in my bed all night last night. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the bad situation that Lance and his family are going through and how it must feel to be in that position. Just when I managed to finally doze off, my alarm clock started blaring, signaling that it was time to get up and get dressed for church.

  When I get out of bed, I see that Tiffany is already awake and making up her bed.

  “Good morning, cousin,” I say, feeling chipper.

  Even though I didn’t get much sleep, I still feel energized for some reason. It’s probably because Tiffany and I made up last night, which I never thought would happen in this lifetime.

  “Good morning,” she says with a smile that gives me a glimpse of the old Tiffany that I knew and loved. Maybe with time we can get back to being as close as we were, but for now, I’m just relieved. It actually feels like a huge burden has been lifted, because having to be mad at her 24/7 was so exhausting.

  * * *

  At church, Tiffany and I do something that we haven’t done in ages, which is sit next to each other during church services. We even share a Bible. My mother keeps smiling at us from the choir stand, which lets me know that she’s excited and happy we made up.

  Reverend Dixon’s sermon really hits home for me.

  “Unfortunately, the true meaning of Christmas has been lost beneath a boatload of hype. Christmas isn’t all about receiving bright, flashy gifts,” he preaches. “It’s also about giving and being a blessing to others, however and whenever you can...”

  As he’s talking, a lightbulb goes off in my head. Our church is well-known in the community for all the good charity work we do, including restoring homes and giving them to low-income families who need a hand up. My mom is on the church board of directors, and from what I’ve gathered from her, homeless families are put on the very top of the list and given first priority. So why not give one of these rehabbed houses to Lance’s family just in time for Christmas? Boo-yah!

  I start smiling so hard that Tiffany looks over and gives me a curious side eye. Being a blessing to someone is just what I’m going to try to do. Fingers crossed.

  “I think it’s very commendable that you want to reach out and make such an impact on this family’s life, young lady,” Reverend Dixon says when I fill him in on my latest bright idea. “It just so happens that there are a couple of homes that we have been working on since the summer. Neither of them are finished yet, but with a lot of hard work, I think we just might be able to work something out just in time for Christmas.”

  * * *

  A few days after talking with Reverend Dixon, my parents and I meet up with him at a two-story, three-bedroom house with a covered porch and big backyard.

  The house is in a modest neighborhood and doesn’t look like it’s been empty for very long.

  Inside, the entire place is covered in dust and has yellowed walls and peeling wallpaper. It also needs new carpet, and the kitchen could use new cabinets, but otherwise not bad. It’s a great house; all it needs is a family.

  “As you can see, the place needs major cleaning,” Reverend Dixon explains. “But the good news is that it only needs minor repairs. Also, the church will be able to help the family out with the bills for the first six months with money raised from our special collection.”

  And that’s when I come up with yet another brilliant idea.

  “Instead of buying me Christmas gifts this year, could you please take that money and donate it toward renovating this house for Lance and his family?” I ask my parents.

  My mother stands there staring at me in stunned silence, while my father comes over and gives me a big hug. “You’re really growing up, baby girl,” he says. “I’m so proud of you.”

  I look around, trying to imagine how the house is going to look when it’s all fixed up. If we can actually pull this off in the short amount of time that we have, this will be my Christmas present and I don’t need anything else. Like the good pastor said in his sermon, it is better to give than to receive. So, helping someone else and being a blessing to them is good enough for me.

  nineteen

  It’s been a couple of days since I found out Lance’s secret, but we still haven’t had the chance to talk because he’s suddenly missing in action. Normally, he has a habit of popping up unannounced when I least expect it. Now he’s nowhere to be found, and I’m pretty sure his mother told him about our visit to the shelter, so I’m starting to think he’s purposely avoiding me. I know he’s dealing with a lot, but it’s kind of hard not to take it personally, especially since he seems to think I would judge him for something that is not his fault.

  Meanwhile, things with Jordan are getting very serious very fast. Now that I’ve gotten the chance to know him, I’ve found out that he is really a sweet and charming guy. Since our first kiss at the ice-skating rink a few days ago, Jordan has started sending me the sweetest good-morning and good-night texts.

  Good morning, beautiful. I can’t wait to see you at school today!

  And...

  Good night, angel. Sweet dreams.

  The beginning stage of getting to know someone is so great. I’m enjoying myself right now. Today, while taking a five-minute break during rehearsal, Jordan surprises me with a small gift-wrapped box. “I got you something,” he tells me. “Merry Christmas...”

  “For me?” I ask coyly, when I actually can’t wait to rip the paper off to see what’s inside. “Should I open it now or wait for Christmas?”

  “It’s up to you,” Jordan says affectionately. “But I would like to see the look on your face so I can tell if you really like it or not.”

  “Okay, you win!” I carefully unwrap the box, making sure not to look too anxious or thirsty, like I’m not used to receiving gifts from boys. Inside a burgundy velvet box is a heart-shaped sapphire pendant on a sterling-silver cable chain. It’s so beautiful and it looks expensive, which makes me wonder if it’s just a gift or if it has a deeper meaning behind it.

  Jordan speaks before I have a chance to question him. “Will you be my girl?” he asks quietly. It seems to mean so much to him, but I know in my heart that I can’t say “yes” until I talk things over with Lance.

  “Wow, this is definitely unexpected, but I can’t answer that right now,” I say.

  I offer Jordan the box back, but he refuses to take it. “Think it over, and if the answer is no, then you can give it back. If the answer is yes, then you keep it.”

  “That’s fair,” I say, giving Jordan a hug. “And thank you—it’s beautiful.”

  “Yeah, but it’s nowhere near as beautiful as you are,” he sa
ys.

  “Aww!” Jade and Olivia say at the same time, causing me to realize that they’ve been listening in the whole time.

  Ms. Duncan comes charging back into the dance studio, signaling that break time is over. “You guys are looking good, but it can be a lot stronger,” she says. “Spread out, and let’s do it again...from the top!”

  twenty

  “He’s totally in love with you,” Jade says as we browse Westwood Mall looking for Christmas gifts.

  “You think so?” I ask with a trace of fear. “I mean, I like Jordan, but I’m not in love with him just yet.”

  “But do you think you could potentially fall in love with Jordan?” Olivia asks, sniffing a scented candle.

  I shrug. “Anything’s possible.”

  “Well, just remember that things were great and you were happy with Lance before this whole debacle,” Jade reminds me.

  “Wait, what happened to you thinking that Jordan was the perfect guy for me?” I ask.

  “That was before I knew that Lance didn’t cheat on you after all,” Jade replies. “Plus you know he still loves you. He never stopped.”

  “I don’t know that for sure,” I say. “Especially since he hasn’t responded to any of my phone calls, text messages or emails these past couple of days.”

  “Which reminds me—how does it feel knowing that you condemned an innocent man?” Olivia asks bluntly. Subtlety has never been one of her strong points.

  “It feels terrible,” I say matter-of-factly. “And I’m so confused! I didn’t want to mention this, but Jordan invited me over for Christmas dinner to introduce me to his family.”

  “Oh, no...” Jade gasps. “He’s sprung!”

  “Yeah, and it’s gonna break Jordan’s heart if you end up getting back with Lance,” Olivia says.

  I sigh and pause in the middle of the mall. “Okay, you guys, stop it. I have a really tough decision to make, and you’re only making it worse.”

  “But, Bree, you have to face the fact that two really great guys are in love with you,” Jade tells me. “Which one are you going to choose?”

  I’ve never been in this position before. Having two terrific guys to choose from is every girl’s dream, so I should be happy, right? But knowing that someone could be hurt by my decision doesn’t feel good.

  The mall Santa has a long line of little kids and their parents waiting to see him. As we pass by, I remember the letter I wrote to Old St. Nick a couple of months ago, asking for a boyfriend. The letter was kind of a joke at the time, but now I realize I shouldn’t have toyed around with the universe. Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.

  twenty-one

  Big fat clumps of snow are coming down at a rapid pace. I think everyone in town is surprised, including the weatherman, because yesterday it was sunny and around fifty degrees. But that’s Buffalo weather for you—warm one day and freezing cold the next. Three inches of snow have fallen in less than an hour, but regardless of the weather, today is the big day.

  It’s been weeks of painting, drilling, sawing and spackling, but all the hard work is going to pay off when Lance and his family get the keys to their new three-bedroom home. As a finishing touch, I taped wrapping paper to the entire length of the door and topped it with a large red wreath to make the house look like a big, fancy gift.

  I went down to City of Refuge looking for Lance yesterday, but his mom said he wasn’t there, which I thought was very convenient. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not all about Lance. The house is for his entire family as well, so I asked Ms. Thompson to come to White Rock Baptist Church today and to bring the whole family.

  “What is this about?” Ms. Thompson asked me.

  “It’s a surprise,” I said. “But it’s a good surprise, and it’s extremely important.”

  “Okay, we’ll be there,” she said. And I took her at her word.

  Despite the fact that Lance is still playing hide-and-seek with me, the show must go on.

  * * *

  “Thank you all for joining us on this special evening,” Reverend Dixon says. Me, Tiffany, my parents and Noelle are among the two dozen people in attendance tonight. When we walked into the sanctuary, I really didn’t expect to see Lance, but he was there along with his mom and siblings and looked quite spiffy in black slacks and a brown sweater.

  “Just when I thought all hope for this current generation was gone, a young lady came to me three Sundays ago, wanting to do something special for a family in need,” Reverend Dixon continues. “Which is what brings us all here tonight.... Will Sister Brenda Thompson and family please stand?”

  Ms. Thompson, Lance, Ericka and Aaron all stand up, looking equally confused.

  “Sister Thompson, I think it is a great thing whenever we can help out our fellow man, so it is with great pride that I present you with keys to your new home at 2784 Rochester Avenue!” Pastor Dixon says.

  Aaron and Ericka dance around with joy, and the look on Ms. Thompson’s face is a combination of shock and wide-eyed surprise. She takes the house keys from Reverend Dixon and cries on his shoulder.

  Tiffany and I stand up and start clapping. I feel like I’m about to burst open with joy and pride, but my happiness is cut short when I see the look on Lance’s face. He glares at me as if I am a mortal enemy and then bolts from the sanctuary.

  Confused, I take off after Lance and catch up with him in the vestibule.

  “Lance, what is your problem?” I ask. “The church just gave your mom a house, and you’re acting like this?”

  “You just don’t get it, do you? This is exactly what I didn’t want—for everybody to know our business and then look at us as a pathetic charity case.”

  “You’re right. I don’t get it,” I tell him. “Because if someone went out of their way to help me when I needed it the most, I would let them.”

  “And that’s the difference between you and me,” Lance says bitterly. “I’m outta here!”

  Lance opens the door of the church, and we both see that a full-blown blizzard is raging outside. All of the cars on the street are buried under several feet of snow. Like it or not, it looks like none of us will be leaving anytime soon.

  twenty-two

  We’ve been snowed in this church for three hours now, and I am completely over it. According to news reports on the radio, the mayor has called a state of emergency. There have been multicar pileups all over town, and everyone has been advised to stay off the streets until further notice.

  Lance’s reaction to something that was supposed to be so positive and life affirming has me completely in the dumps. I’m sitting off to myself, minding my own business, when Lance comes over and sits down on the floor next to me. I roll my eyes. He acted so ungrateful earlier, he’s the last person I feel like talking to right now.

  “Hey,” he says. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine, but for the record, that is not how you repay someone who only had your best interest at heart.”

  “I know,” Lance says, looking me straight in the eyes. “And I’m sorry about all that. I was just caught off guard, you know?”

  “Okay, but shutting down and pushing people away is not the answer,” I tell him. “I was the last person to find out about your situation, when as your girlfriend at the time, I should have been the first.”

  Lance is silent for a moment.

  I tuck my feet up under me as Noelle and a handful of other kids run past playing a game of tag.

  “You’re right. You should have been the first to know,” Lance finally says. “But I just didn’t want you to look down on us.”

  “And what makes you think I would do that?”

  “Do you remember that day last summer when we were shopping downtown and ran into that homeless guy on th
e street?”

  I rack my brain trying to recall, but end up drawing a blank. “No...” I say. “Downtown Buffalo is full of homeless people. Why would I remember one in particular?”

  “Well, I remember it clearly,” Lance says. “This guy asked us for change, and we gave him what we had, which wasn’t much. When we walked away from him you said, ‘Gross! See what happens when you don’t go to college? People like that give me the heebie-jeebies!’”

  Oh, yeah, now I remember. It was the middle of July and a thousand and three degrees outside. On top of that, I was having my period, so I wasn’t in the best of moods.

  I drop my head and busy myself by picking imaginary lint off the carpet. “First of all, it was an insensitive and ignorant comment that I totally regret,” I say. “But you should know me well enough to know that I wouldn’t automatically think the same thing about you.”

  “When you put it that way, I should have given you more credit than that,” Lance tells me. “But I also didn’t expect for us to be at the shelter for as long as we have been.”

  “And the thing is, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I know it’s hard, but you need to put that pride and ego in check, homey.” I playfully nudge Lance in the side, trying to make him smile. He does.

  All of a sudden, an ear-piercing scream echoes throughout the sanctuary. I look toward the front of the church and see my mother doubled over in pain. “Somebody call an ambulance,” she yells. “My water just broke!”

  * * *