The Apocalypse

by Jack Parker

  But then a flood of memories swept over his mind—occasions where he had been nervous and when he had obsessed over something as simple as a get-together. Of course, all of those occasions were in the early days of his relationship with Mercedes, way back when they'd first started getting to know each other, when they'd first started dating.

  Jake was horror struck. If he was treating meetings with Hannah the same way that he'd treated meetings with Mercedes…what did that mean?

  It meant that he was in some deep trouble. Of that he was certain.

  Vibrations from his pocket rescued Jake from his realizations, preventing him the opportunity to accept reality. While fleeting disappointment from fear of Hannah cancelling on him flashed through Jake, he shoved that thought away and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, reading a text from Ethan quickly.

  U think Hannah wld go to the mvies with me 2night?

  Completely taken aback, Jake stared at his phone's screen. Something resembling guilt hammered into his stomach. How had he forgotten that Ethan, one of his best friends, was positively crazy about Hannah and had been for quite a long time? How could he be spending time with Hannah when he knew that Ethan would give away a few toes to be hanging out with her in Jake's place? Ethan had been one of Jake's best friends for longer than Jake could even remember, and he knew that Ethan would be more than a little upset if he found out that Jake was spending a lot of time with Hannah.

  Would he believe me if I told him I was only doing it for her memory's sake? Jake began questioning himself. Then another part of his mind was asking, Could you lie to your best friend like that? Could you convincingly deny your feelings for her to him like that? Disgusted, Jake smacked his palm against the kitchen counter, the loud noise of the smack echoing through the silent kitchen.

  The guilt in Jake's stomach washed away, at least for the moment, as he reasoned with himself. Before Hannah had lost her memory, she wasn't interested in Ethan. After she'd lost her memory, she still wasn't interested in Ethan. Obviously, Ethan was not Hannah's type, no matter the situation. Therefore, if Jake was spending time with Hannah, he was not in any way interfering with things between Hannah and Ethan because there was nothing there to interfere with.

  Except for Ethan's pursuit, of course, but wasn't that hopeless?

  Before Jake could reason with that thought, he turned curious. Before Hannah had lost her memory, she wasn't interested in Jake. After she'd lost her memory, she was. Did that mean that he was her type? Or would he only be her type until her memory returned?

  Was he sabotaging his chances with her by trying to help her get her memory back? Did he even want a chance with her? When had he started seeing Hannah as anything other than his enemy? Could he ever swallow his pride enough to admit that he just might possibly be attracted to her?

  "Oh my God." Jake felt his eyes widen, not even caring that he was talking to himself. That was merely only further proof that he needed therapy of some sort. "I've officially lost my mind."

  Jake shook his head, trying to shake his never-ending questions out. He really was over-thinking things—something that he only ever remembered doing when he was falling for Mercedes.

  He was screwed.

  More vibrations from his cell phone jerked Jake out of his mental attack, but he nearly groaned when he saw that Ethan was calling him. For sure, Jake was cursed. "Hello?" he answered, hoping the dread in his tone wasn't obvious to Ethan.

  "Hey." Ethan sounded normal, although maybe a little bit pensive. "What's up, man?"

  Jake closed his eyes, wincing at the lie that fell from his lips. "Nothing at all, Ethan. What are you doing?" Maybe his friend was going to ask him to hang out, meaning he'd have to cancel on Hannah. Not even the sanest region of Jake's mind could deny the disappointment he felt at the mere thought.

  "Brent's over. We were just wondering what you were doing tod—ouch, damn it, Brent!"

  It sounded as if Brent had thrown something at Ethan, which was not something rare. Jake half smiled, wondering what had prompted such a reaction from Brent. "Uh-huh. You guys doing anything exciting?"

  "This is Vandalia," Ethan answered flatly. "Seriously, dude."

  "Right, right…"

  "Anyway, I was curious about Hannah," Ethan went on, sounding overly thoughtful—yet nowhere near as thoughtful as Jake had been. "Brent seems to think she's not into me." He scoffed, and his tone turned mocking. "Said something like nothing I do will change that."

  Taking a seat at his kitchen table, Jake made a mental note to ask Brent about that conversation later. Even though it would mean some interrogation from Brent about Jake's own feelings, it sounded like Brent had information that would appeal greatly to Jake.

  Ethan sighed. "You and Hannah can stand each other now, Jake. I figured maybe you could give me some advice. You think I should give it up?"

  "Well…" Jake wasn't sure what to say. He figured mixing honesty with his bias was acceptable, as long as there was some legitimate honesty in there. "I don't know, man. Hannah's never seemed too interested. Isn't there anyone else you could go for? She might still be getting over that dumbass ex of hers."

  A lengthy pause came from Ethan's end, during which Jake fidgeted in his chair, hoping he was letting his friend down gently, even though he knew he had no right to let Ethan down at all. Perhaps it was pompous of Jake to determine who could fight for Hannah's affection, but—

  Oh shit.

  Jake scowled at himself, letting the sanest part of his brain take back over. There was no way that he was fighting for Hannah's affection. He hated her, and that was that. Even if he didn't really hate her, he was going to keep hating her for hatred's sake, as little sense as that seemed to make. No one should let so many years of dislike evaporate just because the dislikeable member had gotten amnesia. That was pity! Jake would not pity Hannah.

  But…he also would not encourage Ethan to like her. He never had, and he certainly wouldn't start now. No part of his mind could justify letting Ethan chase after Hannah—not the part that wanted to claim Hannah for his own or the part that wanted to hate her even more for confusing his emotions so badly.

  "Brent told me that she didn't like me," Ethan said thoughtfully, "and you're telling me the same thing." He sighed, and Jake realized that he was holding his breath in anticipation of Ethan's thoughts. "Maybe you guys are right."

  Relief washed through Jake as his doorbell rang. Hannah had arrived. Jake informed Ethan that someone was at his door but that he'd call him back—even though he didn't really plan on calling Ethan. The first thing on Jake's agenda was figuring out all of these senseless thoughts he kept having; only then could he deal with anything else.

  "Hi," Hannah greeted brightly when Jake opened the front door for her. She stepped inside and removed her coat, revealing the navy blue t-shirt she wore with her gray sweatpants—sweatpants that Jake noticed were actually Isaac's basketball warm-ups. Jake wasn't sure if her apparent disinterest in dressing up came from her still feeling ill or her just wanting comfort; the fact that he wondered left him more baffled.

  Jake smiled back at her. "Hey."

  Seemingly at great ease, Hannah maneuvered to the couch and flopped down on it, curling her legs under her. She swept her hand out grandly to the television. "Entertain me, Jake."

  Laughing lightly, Jake went into the kitchen, calling out to her, "What movie do you want to watch first?" He grabbed the pan of tater tots and removed two bottles of Coke from the refrigerator before returning to the living room. Hannah's eyes lit up at the sight of food, amusing Jake.

  Hannah's hands instantly reached for a handful of tater tots, and she chewed thoughtfully. "Something funny," she said decisively. Jake almost smirked, unable to believe that he'd thought she would pass the job of movie-picking on him. "What comedies do you have to pick from?"

  Jake gestured to the shelf of DVD's and watched as Hannah went to choose one. He couldn't help noticing that she seemed to be in a really good mood. "
Feeling better?" he asked politely, his eyes remaining trained on her.

  "Yup," she answered smoothly, plucking a DVD from the shelf. She spun and handed it to Jake, and he took it to the DVD player.

  Just as he put the movie in, Jake caught himself. Puzzled, he turned to stare at Hannah, holding the case of The Strangers up at her. "This isn't a comedy."

  Hannah scoffed. "Haven't you seen it? It cracks me up."

  Jake blinked slowly and then shrugged. Leave it to Hannah to find a horror film hilarious. Returning to the couch, Jake sat beside Hannah and shared the pan of tater tots with her. As the movie played, he realized that his thoughts weren't really following the plot—if one wanted to call it that—of the film. Instead, he was thinking about Hannah and how odd it was to be sitting so casually with her.

  This was certainly something that he would not have predicted. Ever.

  Hannah's laughing caught Jake off guard. He turned to look at her and was further taken aback by the pure enjoyment illuminating her face. He cocked his head at the television, wondering if they were seeing the same scenes on the screen. The movie that Jake was watching showed intruders terrorizing a man and woman. More laughter from Hannah made Jake smile. Of course. Hannah really would be the one to crack up when watching a scary movie.

  "You're insane," he commented lightly, not a bit insultingly.

  Grinning, Hannah shrugged, leaning back against the couch more comfortably. "Whatever."

  Jake realized that their shoulders were touching and that Hannah was leaned toward him. Cockiness tempted the corners of his mouth to turn upward, but his stubbornness kept his mouth in a straight line. He resumed his thoughts about Hannah and how odd it was that he was so comfortable with her. At the back of his mind, the information that he'd over-thought his time with Mercedes too was lurking, but Jake kept it pushed back—as much as possible anyway.

  "Can we watch Titanic now?"

  Hannah's question startled Jake, as he hadn't realized The Strangers had ended. Checking the clock, Jake noted that time really had passed that fast—that he really had been thinking about Hannah and trying to decipher his feelings towards her for a lengthy amount of time.

  "Sure," he answered and moved to change the movie in the DVD player. After he'd set up Titanic for Hannah's viewing pleasure, Jake started back to the couch, freezing when he saw Hannah stretched out across the length of the couch. He raised his eyebrows, and she grinned cheekily back at him.

  "My back was hurting from sitting up so long," she whined.

  Jake rolled his eyes. He moved toward the couch and gave her a gentle pull, moving her enough so that he could lie behind her on the couch. If she thought she could make him move to the floor, she was crazy. Hannah could deal with as much discomfort as she wanted to inflict on him.

  With his bawled fist providing a pillow for his head, which allowed him to see over Hannah's head, and his other arm stretched out against his side, Jake was careful not to touch Hannah at all. The couch was wide enough to accommodate both of them without any trouble.

  At least it was until Hannah rolled onto her back. "Do you mind?" She tugged on Jake's propped arm, stretching it out behind her head, and used it as a makeshift pillow. He rolled his eyes in response, and Hannah smiled back at him, turning her head back to the screen. Gently, he sighed and started looking at Hannah's profile more than the television screen.

  As hard as he tried to refocus his eyes back on the movie, Jake couldn't. He wished he knew what Hannah was thinking. Was she trying to toy with him at this point? Was the contact between them something that she was doing intentionally, or was it really just her being selfish about her own comfort? Had she been the normal Hannah, Jake would have immediately associated her behavior with selfishness (even though they wouldn't be in this position if she were the normal Hannah), but this new Hannah… Jake couldn't be sure what the motives behind her actions were.

  It was driving him crazy.

  Twenty minutes later, Hannah's face turned to face Jake. He nearly blushed, realizing that he'd been looking at her that whole time, wondering what was on her mind. He really hoped that her sudden movement wasn't because she'd sensed his stare on her.

  "Tell me about us."

  Jake blinked, his thoughts wiping clean. What the hell was she talking about?

  Hannah rolled onto her side, making her body face Jake's. Curiosity lit up her eyes, making Jake notice just how really blue they were. A very stunning shade of blue, really. "What were we like?" Hannah asked, the sound of her voice helping Jake get his thoughts off of her eye color. "Did we watch movies a lot before my accident? Or…before I started dating Greg? I know you didn't like him… Did we spend as much time together when he and I started dating?"

  Well, shit.

  Cursing was becoming quite popular for Jake today. These were questions that Jake was not at all prepared to answer. Such questions had never been expected from Hannah, and now he wasn't at all sure what to tell her. The truth, of course, was a must, but how to word it…

  "I guess you spent a lot more time with Hudson when you started dating," Jake answered slowly. "I didn't see you as much, that's for sure."

  His answer seemed to satisfy Hannah, for she nodded. "Sorry about that. What about before then?"

  To lie or not to lie… Jake had a hard enough time distinguishing the truth from the lies in his head about his feelings toward Hannah; there was no reason to add more lies to keep up with, so he'd tell her the truth. "We used to play a lot of pranks on each other," he admitted. "That was kind of our thing."

  Hannah smiled unexpectedly. "Huh."

  Although he wasn't sure what that meant precisely, Jake took her response as permission to elaborate. "When we were pretty young, I had a puppy. He was a stray, and Mom wasn't too crazy about letting me keep him." Jake smiled reminiscently. "I refused to let him go though. But you snuck out one night and kidnapped him. I looked all over for him the next day."

  Obviously interested, Hannah asked, "What happened to him?"

  Jake scowled playfully. "While I was searching for him, you were selling him to your friend across town." Hannah laughed, prompting Jake to roll his eyes. "I was pissed. So when you bought a hula hoop with the dog money, I broke it."

  "Jerk."

  "You started it."

  "You're still a jerk."

  Hannah reached her hand up and let it rest against Jake's cheek. Her touch was cool, but he didn't flinch away from it. "You cold?" he murmured softly, watching her face. A hint of a smile touched her lips, and, in response, Jake let his arm rest over her, falling across the small of her back.

  "Thanks," she whispered, her enormous blue eyes staring into Jake's intensely. Hannah wiggled a little closer to him, putting their bodies completely in contact. She was so close that her breath tickled Jake's neck. "Tell me more."

  "Mm…" Jake tried to think back in time, to think about anything other than how close she was pressed against him. The sweet scent of her perfume, combined with the intensity of her eyes, made that nearly impossible. "You used to tell me what I jerk I am on a daily basis." He managed to smirk, despite the desire to smile. "You've been slacking, Ayers."

  She giggled, sheepishly tipping her head downward, resulting in her strawberry blonde locks brushing against Jake's neck. The smell of her shampoo flooded his head then, making thoughts even harder to form.

  Jake watched Hannah. She hadn't lifted her head again, and it was a damn good thing, since Jake wasn't sure if he could fight the urge to kiss her. Where that urge had sprung from, Jake wasn't sure, but it was there all the same, causing more agony for his poor, muddled mind.

  Hannah's gentle shiver had Jake cuddling her closer, sending Tisha's words back to his brain. Maybe Titanic wasn't quite as long as Gone With the Wind, but it was certainly giving him time to cuddle and snuggle with Hannah, just as Tisha had suggested. Hannah's arm slipped around Jake's waist, and he rubbed her back gently, figuring the friction would warm her.

  He h
adn't anticipated that the action would put her to sleep, but after ten minutes had passed without Hannah moving, Jake realized that she'd fallen asleep. Although it wasn't quite the movie marathon that he'd planned, at least he couldn't act on his desire to kiss her if she was sleeping. The plagued back of Jake's mind seemed to scoff at him as it coaxed his lips to press against Hannah's forehead.

  Content, at least for the moment, Jake closed his eyes. Oh, he'd certainly plunged further into a black hole of hopelessness and despair. But, for now, there was little that he could do about it.

  Chapter 17

  Honey, Honey

  Clutching the brown book to her chest, Hannah left the door of her bedroom after making sure that it was indeed locked. She sat down at her desk chair, scooted close to her desk, and placed the brown book on the desktop. Opening the book, Hannah smiled contently when the diary fell open to a blank page, right after her latest entry.

  It had never occurred to Hannah before to write in her diary. Why would she want to remember her feelings of confusion since the accident? To be perfectly honest, she'd gone through more than enough negative things, none of which she wanted to record and be able to remember years and years from now. Finally, however, there was something that she wanted to remember, and, based on the previous entries in her old diary, Hannah was confident that her former self would have wanted to remember it too. Although it seemed almost wrong to write in a diary that didn't seem to be hers at all, Hannah made up her mind to do so, assuring herself that the events really were something that any girl would want to treasure.

  She briefly thought back to that day at the park and elementary school with Jake. That was the first time she'd learned about her diary, and Jake had been dead on about its contents; he'd correctly stated that the diary said Hannah was madly in love with him. Although he'd said it jokingly, it made Hannah wonder if her feelings for him had been obvious before the accident.