What A Girl Wants (Harlequin Blaze)

by Jamie Sobrato

  —Jane Langston, in the August issue of Excess magazine

  TWENTY-FOUR-HOUR bodyguard duty.

  Jane flung a pair of red bikini underwear into the laundry basket and scanned the bedroom for other carelessly discarded garments on the floor. How on earth could she survive one night alone with Luke, without sleeping with him—let alone an indefinite number of nights? The whole idea was preposterous, and yet, what other choice did she have? The other option was to live in constant fear, afraid even to go grocery shopping or to the gym, her writing ability crippled by the worry that outside her house lurked a lunatic.

  And then there was the Luke-in-her-house option. Living here with her, sleeping on her fold-out couch, sitting at her breakfast table in the morning, lurking about when she needed to work. At least she might be able to work, with some sense of protection.

  At least she could feel safe.

  She hadn’t given him an answer immediately. In the end, she’d fallen asleep on his couch the night before, and he’d driven her back home this morning. He’d told her he would be back by noon, and he’d expect a decision.

  Jane carried a basket load of laundry to the washer and dumped it in, then started the machine before she realized she hadn’t added soap. Her annoyance grew as she dug all the wet clothes back out and added the powder soap, then flung everything back in.

  Her choices were to live in constant fear, or to live with the greatest sexual temptation of her life, right here inside her house, twenty-four hours a day. She’d been so tough for the past week, so doggedly resistant to Luke’s charms, she had actually been gaining her professional confidence back. But she knew that most of her resistance was aided by her avoidance of him whenever possible, and if he lived here, even for a short while, there would be no avoiding Luke.

  She’d be stuck with him, stuck with her overwhelming sexual feelings—and if she slept with him again, stuck with the proof that she was a fraud as a relationship expert.

  When Jane heard the doorbell ring, the sound sent a jolt of fear through her. She remembered the disgusting box of magazines from the week before, the feeling of utter violation she’d been overcome with upon seeing the contents of the box. Then her thoughts turned to last night, getting run off the road by someone who clearly meant it as a warning, and she knew. She had to let Luke move in.

  She peered through the living-room window and saw him standing on her doorstep, so she opened the door and let him in.

  “You look a little frazzled,” he said as a greeting.

  “I’ve been cleaning.”

  He grinned, glancing around. “I can tell. Something you don’t do often, huh?”

  “I tried to talk the lawn guy into coming in and cleaning naked, but he said he doesn’t do windows, so I was planning to ask you next.”

  Luke let his gaze travel the length of her and back up. “I’ve got no problem with getting naked for you, but I’m not going to clean your windows, either. Not unless you ask me real nicely.”

  “How about twenty-four-hour bodyguard duty. Will you do that naked?”

  He laughed. “Does that mean you’re willing to let me move in?”

  “I’m willing to try it. Temporarily. For a few days.”

  “I want you to commit to this until your stalker is caught.”

  Jane sighed. “And what if he isn’t?”

  “He will be. Soon.”

  “I say we reevaluate the situation on at least a week-by-week basis. Maybe he’ll find some other hobby besides harassing me, and you won’t need to be around me all the time.”

  Luke took a step toward her and reached out, slipping his hands around her waist. He tugged her against him, and Jane couldn’t muster the will to resist. Her body melted into his.

  “Maybe I want to be around you all the time,” he said.

  Jane got a queasy feeling in her stomach. Her heart felt divided in two—one part of it hanging on to the security blanket of all her hopes about the possibilities with Bradley, the other part wondering what could become of her and Luke, if she gave them a chance. But she was so close to asking Bradley out, after all these years, and she couldn’t possibly ignore the opportunity to finally date her dream guy.

  Could she? Why did she have so much trouble mustering up the energy to pine after him these days? And why was it so hard to produce a picture of him in her head?

  Jane swallowed the sudden dryness in her mouth. “You just want to be around here all the time so you can keep me from writing another book that might ruin your sex life again.”

  He smiled. “There’s that, too.”

  Jane squirmed out of his grasp and tried to laugh off the situation, but she couldn’t shake the sick feeling in her gut. She didn’t want Luke to get emotionally involved, if she wasn’t willing to do the same. And yet she felt a tug deep inside herself to go wherever their attraction took them.

  It was just the sexual attraction muddling her thoughts. That was all.

  “So, I guess you’ll need to go home and get some of your belongings or something? How does this twenty-four-hour bodyguard thing work, anyway?”

  Luke shrugged. “However we want it to work. I’ve already got the bags out in the car.”

  “You didn’t know if I was going to say yes.”

  “I figured I’d do whatever it took to convince you.” He loomed over her, and then he reached out to slide one hand along her jawline. “I have my methods of persuasion.”

  Oh, yes, he did. Her body came alive with liquid sensation at the look in his eyes. She forgot everything except the fact of his body, and hers, so close together.

  Luke slid his hand lower and cupped her breast, let his thumb tease her erect nipple. Jane felt herself instinctively arching her back, and she did a mental headshake.

  This was all wrong.

  It took every ounce of her willpower to place her hand over his and move it away from her breast.

  “Believe me, I know all about your methods of persuasion,” she said, her voice strained.

  “But you’ve become immune?”

  If only. Jane slipped out of Luke’s grasp and put some distance between them.

  “Maybe.”

  “I guess I’ll grab my suitcase then.”

  Once he was out the front door, tension drained from Jane’s shoulders. She’d barely survived five minutes trying to resist Luke. How could she possibly resist him for days or weeks? She paced across the living room, chewing her thumbnail. She had to think of something fast. Something that would get to him, that would appeal to his sense of…duty. Yes, above all else, she sensed, Luke really did want to keep her safe.

  And that thought made her insides melt all over again. Having a guy like Luke feel so strongly about her safety gave her a ridiculously giddy feeling. But he was simply doing his duty, she reminded herself. Doing what he was being paid to do, what it was every good bodyguard’s job to do.

  And if Luke thought it would distract him from his job to pursue their sexual attraction any further, then she was pretty sure he’d be willing to put the brakes on. That, she suspected, was the key.

  Luke reappeared in her doorway carrying a black suitcase and a black leather overnight bag. And the question suddenly arose in her head—where to put his stuff?

  “Um, I guess you can put your things…in my bedroom.”

  “I could store them in your office, if that would make you more comfortable.”

  “No! I mean, I use that space to work, and if it’s disrupted in any way, I tend to get a little cranky.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “A suitcase would make you cranky?”

  “Don’t ask. It’s a creativity thing.”

  “Okay, so I’ll use the bedroom.” And he took off down the hallway, headed for her private space.

  Jane wondered if she should offer to clear out a few drawers. An image of his Jockeys mingling with her intimates popped into her head, and she banished it before her traitorous thoughts could turn erotic. She should, at the very least
, clear out some room in the closet, so she hurried down the hallway after him.

  “I’ll make some space for you in the closet,” she said.

  He was unzipping his suitcase on the bed. “You don’t have to.”

  Jane went to the closet and began pushing aside clothes. “I forgot to clear out a drawer, but I can—” She didn’t get to finish the sentence, because when she turned back to Luke, she found the solid wall of his chest.

  He grasped her by the waist. “Are you going to let me move into your bed, too?”

  Jane took a deep breath—through her mouth, to avoid inhaling his intoxicating scent.

  Now. She had to lay down the ground rules pronto.

  “Luke, if you’re going to be living here, we have to stop this.”

  “Stop what?”

  “This sexual thing between us. It’s going to get out of control if we don’t stop it now—and how will you do your job properly if you’re constantly distracted by some sexual attraction?”

  His expression went blank, but she could tell she’d touched a nerve. “Maybe you’ve got a point,” he finally said.

  “Just helping you do your job.” She flashed a cheesy smile.

  Luke shook his head. “You’re just trying to make me feel guilty with this distraction excuse.”

  Damn it, he was sharp. “No, I’m afraid for my life. You’re the only person standing between me and some whack-job who sends me threatening letters and pornography and tries to run me off the road with his minivan. I just want to make sure you have your mind on the job.”

  Luke backed away and turned to the window. He gripped the wrought-iron bedpost and leaned against it, appearing deep in thought.

  “Do you really think I’ve been distracted?”

  “I think you’ve done a fine job so far, but if the threat is greater now, and if we need to be more careful, I think that includes not going at it hot and heavy every time we get the chance.”

  She refrained from pointing out that that’s exactly what she would have advised in her books or her column, that she was only following her own good advice for once where Luke was concerned.

  Luke smiled. “How about just every other time we get the chance, then?”

  “Stop it!” She tried to keep serious, but she couldn’t help grinning.

  “You’re right. We can’t afford distractions right now.” He turned back to his suitcase and began removing clothes.

  That was easy—far too easy. Something was up, but she couldn’t guess what it might be. Luke was probably trying to use a reverse psychology tactic on her, and if so, he was way out of his league.

  Jane watched as he took shirts and pants to the closet and placed them on empty hangers. When nothing remained in the suitcase except underwear and socks, he slid the case into an empty space on the closet floor and shut the door. Just glancing around, it was impossible to tell that her bodyguard had just taken up residence in her house.

  “My couch pulls out into a bed, so you can sleep there at night.”

  He tossed her a wry look. “How convenient.”

  “I bought it thinking someday I’d have visitors and would need a place to put them.”

  She definitely hadn’t been thinking her visitor would be a live-in personal protection expert with a sexual agenda.

  Luke opened his overnight bag and pulled out a shaving kit, toothbrush and toothpaste. “Will I be using the hallway bathroom?”

  “Um…yes.” She hadn’t quite imagined how dizzy it would make her feel to think of Luke showering, shaving, brushing his teeth…every morning, right here in her own private space. It would become his private space too, for whatever short time he was here. The sight of his toothbrush felt oddly intimate in a way that nothing else he’d unpacked so far had.

  And intimacy, Jane realized in a sudden, cruel burst of understanding, was what she feared most.

  She’d become a pro at keeping people at arm’s length, making sure she didn’t get hurt, even substituting her career for real relationships. She’d been working so hard to prove to herself and everyone else that she deserved recognition, she’d managed to convince herself that having a successful career was the same as having a successful personal life.

  The question now was, did she want her personal life to include Luke?

  “THE NUMBER ONE THING to remember, when it comes to self-defense, is that you can always fight back.”

  Jane stood a few feet in front of Luke, arms at her sides, looking as enthusiastic about their lesson as a beached jellyfish. He’d been after her to continue their lessons where they’d left off with the last one, but she had produced excuse after excuse about why she couldn’t do it. Today, when he’d caught her surfing an online auction site instead of working on her next book like she’d claimed to have been doing, he insisted they have a lesson immediately, pointing out that her safety was infinitely more important than her finding bargains on junk.

  Living with Jane was proving even more difficult than Luke had suspected. Not only had he failed to make any progress in the case, but he’d also managed to go damn near insane with wanting her. He’d been living in her house for nearly two weeks, and they’d been two of the longest weeks of his life.

  He would have been happy to just have her company at mealtimes, but she went out of her way to avoid him, and whenever they were together and he was starting to think she’d relax and enjoy his presence, she’d make some excuse about having work to do and slip away to her office. The only positive thing that had come from his moving in was that there hadn’t been a single instance of harassment in the two weeks that he’d been there.

  Luke couldn’t decide if the lull was due to the harasser deciding Jane was too difficult a target now or because that’s what he wanted them to believe—probably the latter, which was why he insisted on the self-defense lessons.

  “Tell me what you do if your attacker has a gun.”

  “I duck behind the nearest armored vehicle?”

  “You run! So long as he doesn’t have you under his control, you run, because the chances are slim that he can hit a running target. Even if he does hit you, it probably won’t be in a vital spot.”

  “Probably?”

  “If you get to choose between being raped and murdered and being shot in the shoulder, I’m betting you’ll take the shoulder wound.”

  Jane paled noticeably. “If those are my only two choices…”

  Luke continued to quiz her on lessons they’d gone over during their first session. “Where are the most vulnerable spots on your attacker?”

  “His groin, of course.”

  “And?”

  She shrugged, clearly still not into the lesson. “His stock portfolio?”

  “His eyes and throat. You go for them with whatever you have available—fingers, keys, a pen, a stick from the ground, whatever.”

  “Okay, I remember all this from the first lesson. Are you happy?”

  “Why are you acting like you’d rather have teeth removed than review this stuff with me?”

  But he knew the answer as soon as he posed the question. She was afraid of getting physically close to him, afraid of the inevitable sparks. He resisted a smile. This, he knew, meant his strategy had been successful. She might have thought giving him that crock of a line about their needing to focus on her safety without being distracted by their sexual attraction had worked on him, but he’d seen right through it.

  He’d simply had a strategy of his own to counter with. He figured, what would it hurt to let her believe he wasn’t going to try seducing her anymore? It would only give him more time to make her see that what they had was different, that it was far deeper than just sexual.

  Jane was afraid of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something about having him in her house, sharing her closet, brushing his teeth in her guest bathroom—he knew it scared her. If he had to guess, he’d say she was afraid of the intimacy those issues symbolized. And he was determined to break down that
wall. A little self-defense training could get things rolling, and it was something she desperately needed anyway.

  “Okay, I’ll try to be an eager student, I promise.”

  Luke had hauled a large blue vinyl-coated training mat out of the back of his SUV, and it was spread on the floor beneath them, with the coffee table pushed out of the way to make room for it.

  “Let’s get started with a few standard self-defense moves. I want you to pretend you’re an attacker coming at me.”

  She balked. “Me? Attack you? I’m all out of breath-freshener spray.”

  He shot her a look. “Just lunge at me. Go for a vulnerable spot.”

  She stood there, motionless.

  Okay, so he needed to provide her with a little motivation for attacking him. “I should have known you wouldn’t have the spine to take this seriously.”

  Anger flashed in her eyes, and she made a lunge for him, her knee coming up to make contact with his groin. He grabbed her leg and flipped her onto her back, and a second later he was on top of her.

  “Now, care to take this a little more seriously?”

  “Yeah, but could we just get to the point here?”

  He peeled himself off of her, careful to keep his mind focused on the task at hand and not on how badly he wanted her body pressed against his. There would be time for that soon enough. He helped Jane to her feet, and she eyed him warily.

  “Don’t worry. I won’t topple you again—at least not for a few more minutes. Right now I want to go over two self-defense moves you can do without being armed. I’m going to pretend to attack you from behind, and then I’ll talk you through the moves.”

  Jane nodded, and Luke approached her quickly and locked one arm around her neck while securing her arms against her body with his other arm.

  “Now, what’s your first instinct?” he asked.

  “Scream for help?”

  “Good idea, but I can easily cut off your air supply. Then what?”

  “I elbow you in the ribs, kick you, stomp your toes?”